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  • #15468
    Edge Studio
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Edge Studio.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Andrew Warner.
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  • #67170
    nadiaverde
    Participant

    Practicing for narration demo–any feedback appreciated. Thank you!

    A Guide to Healing Crystals
    People’s fascination with semi-precious stones is nothing new. From China to Babylon and Egypt, ancient civilizations dating back thousands of years have used them in rituals, healing, and meditation, believing that certain crystals have protective abilities and energetic qualities.
    Scientifically speaking, crystals are made up of atoms of certain elements arranged in a regular grid pattern. Because of their molecular composition, crystals have a specific vibrational frequency that can coincide with that of the human body.

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    • #67232
      VO_by_SJ
      Participant

      Really nice, smooth, steady, articulate technical quality to this read! Great finishing on the ends of your sentences. The pace was right on for this type of material/spot.

      Creatively I would say you could infuse a bit more intrigue in the first section, as the script says- use of the words fascination, energetic qualities, rituals, believe- lend itself to that. But once you got into the scientific jargon, that same approach to the read really worked.

      I could listen to you for a long time. Great job!

      • #67260
        nadiaverde
        Participant

        Thanks so much for your feedback!!

    • #67179
      MarkosKandilis
      Participant

      What a warm voice you have! Great for inviting people to listen and learn about crystals and the like. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:

      • In the first sentence, spend less time on “is” to reduce emphasizing it; what word deserves more time in that sentence instead?
      • In the second sentence, perhaps you can add some varied weighting to the names of the ancient civilization to reinforce the wonder of how such distanced peoples all came to the same conclusion to use crystals in some way
      • In the second sentence, “believing” sounds like it’s the start of a new thought; any way to realign it with the rest of the previously listed items?

      Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!

      • #67261
        nadiaverde
        Participant

        Thank you! Appreciate the feedback!

  • #67153
    mara_sherman
    Participant

    Hello everyone! Here are some commercial scripts I practiced for homework. Thanks for all the feedback!

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    • #67163
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Hi Mara, what was the homework, practicing commercial reads? The first recording with freshy’s was nice. The words were clear. The enthusiasm was there too. I heard from an instructor that, in an audition, the first 30 seconds are very important: either the words flow together, or they don’t, dependent on the direction you’re given.
      Freshy’s good performance and recording quality.
      Headache commercial is great: you sound like you have a headache, then you take the pill and then you sound like the headache is gone! Great job
      Cat commercial has good energy, well-paced,

      hope this was helpful

    • #67157
      JustJohn
      Participant

      You’re doing some really good work here, and you have a voice that’s very well suited to V.O. In the Freshii ad, I wonder if you could maybe vary the intonation of the two sequential questions a little more. Sometimes, the enthusiasm you project overheats just a little, sounding just a little punchy (e.g., “black beans”). In the Excedrin ad, it sounds a bit like you’re chanting the word “headaches” at the very beginning. Your Purina reading is particularly good, IMO. I think I hear some extraneous mouth-sounds here and there in all three recordings — a bit of clicking and so forth. Overall, though, really, very good reads. Keep up the good work!

  • #67134
    nadiaverde
    Participant

    Hello! Practicing for my narration demo. Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!!

    Valle De Guadalupe

    Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes, particularly varietals that don’t fare well in Alta California, and the wines being produced by the region’s wineries are worth serious consideration, even by seasoned oenophiles. Its fine dining restaurants, offering sophisticated food at a fraction of what you’d pay in America, are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.

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    • #67160
      JustJohn
      Participant

      This is sounding really good. A few tiny details might tighten it up a little (e.g., maybe a little less of a pause between “sophisticated food” and “are becoming”); maybe you could do fewer glottal stops on words that begin with vowels? To my ear, something about “the total lack of pretense in its offerings” sounds a bit flatter than the rest of the reading. I wonder how else you might say that. (Perhaps stress the word “pretense” a little more?) But these are small details. In my non-professional opinion, you could submit this as-is and it would be good. Good flow, good pacing, good “smile” in the sound, good relatability.

      • #67262
        nadiaverde
        Participant

        Thank you for your feedback!!

    • #67136
      nadiaverde
      Participant

      Just realized I uploaded the longer version of the script.
      Here is the shortened:
      Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes. Its fine dining restaurants offering sophisticated food are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.

      • #67164
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Great narration so far: recording quality and performance. My concern is the long pause in; ” To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.” You had a long pause that breaks off the flow of the narration.

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        • #67263
          nadiaverde
          Participant

          Thank you for the feedback!!

  • #67129
    mara_sherman
    Participant

    Hello! Here are some Narration practice scripts I worked on for homework. Thanks in advance for your feedbacK!

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  • #67127
    SteveVO
    Participant

    Practicing a more conversation read. I did two takes with two different audiences. I’d welcome your feedback.

    Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
    Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more. Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
    Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
    Weelearn – learning through watching.

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    • #67169
      nadiaverde
      Participant

      I really enjoyed your first take. You sounded more connected to your audience. Very nice conversational tone. I would definitely slow it down a bit as both takes sounded a bit rushed (the second more so than the first). Overall great job!

      • #67185
        SteveVO
        Participant

        Thanks! I appreciate it.

    • #67161
      JustJohn
      Participant

      There’s a lot of good stuff here. You’ve got a good tone going for this script. I wonder if you might just slow it all down a little. Some parts are read so quickly (particularly in the second reading), your articulation seems to suffer a bit as a result. The opposite side of that coin is that it sometimes sounds like you’re paying so much attention to articulation that some of the flow is sacrificed (e.g., “supplemented by exercises and games”). I hear a couple cadences that are so similar that the “shape” of the read gets a little repetitive — for example, “where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger” in the first reading — it sounds a little like you’re repeating the same musical phrase several times. I wonder if “life, love, work” could be varied just a little more. In general, your tone is very engaging and naturally conversational, and the read is pleasant to listen to. Good work!

      • #67186
        SteveVO
        Participant

        Thanks! I appreciate it.

      • #67166
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        The Second take was louder: as far as recording quality and clarity. As far as performances: the first take had more of an emotional connection to the audience. Maybe try finding a good balance of both reads by doing a third take, combining the best of both reads?

    • #67139
      mara_sherman
      Participant

      Your voice sounds great, it’s really warm and inviting and you have great pitch variation. My only critique is that there are some pauses you could do without, and maybe just a little bit more excitement. Awesome job!

  • #67123
    AyalC93
    Participant

    Hiya folks! Leaving my homework here for feedback. Thanks!

    1) Diamonds – Documentary
    Today, seventy percent of the world’s rough diamonds pass through the central selling organization, the ESO, established by Debiers at Charterhouse Street in London. To regulate the flow of diamonds and maintain stability of prices on the world market, diamonds are first classified and valued. Here, along the north wall, in natural light, experts sort stones into more than five thousand different categories; based on size, shape, quality and color.

    2) 4/H – Corpo
    It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE.

    3) Betty Crocker – Biography
    Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt. She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion in which users completed a puzzle to win a pin cushion. Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker. The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.

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    • #67141
      Sherry Newell
      Participant

      Hey there! I really enjoyed your 4/H read :). It felt more like you were talking to someone rather than just reading out loud and I enjoyed the rhythm of it.
      I felt like your levels where a little too high in all 3, but really in the Diamonds read the most. You can check that while you’re recording, or even just try taking a small step away from your mic.
      Good job and have fun continuing your practice!

  • #67120
    Jabrony
    Participant

    Hey, this is just some homework for Art’s sessions with me.

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    • #67184
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Jabrony,
      I liked the Hershey read! I felt like I was there in the museum, beautifully done. The plant earth one sounded a little rushed, still a great voice!

    • #67182
      MarkosKandilis
      Participant

      I’m really enjoying the rich timbre of your voice! You’ll have no problem with bringing gravitas to your reads on a dime. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:

      • avoid sounding choppy with excessive pauses that break up the cohesiveness of your delivery
      • add variety to the pitch intonation you utilize at the end of sentences, as these reads can come off as slightly monotonous when always ending downward in pitch
      • reduce the distance in pitch that your voice travels when emphasizing; it’s good practice to raise your pitch for emphasis, but doing it with such a jump between words one sentence after the other can give an unsettling bounce throughout your read that detracts from the text itself

      Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!

    • #67181
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Good recording quality. Was your homework from Art Bruder? I’ve taken a class of his to make sure I have the best recording quality when using audacity. What was the homework, documentary narration? You have a great voice for narration in these recordings!

  • #67112
    aylinsings
    Participant

    Hi!

    Some commercial homework. Working on trying to sound conversational and not presentational! Also, working on not pitching down at the end of my sentences too much. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!!

    Waterpik:
    If you floss you know what a two-handed tug of war feels like. Which is why we at Waterpik are introducing the Flosser. At a speed of 10,000 gentle strokes per minute, its nylon tip effectively removes plaque above and below the gumline. Making it a fast, easy and more convenient way to keep gums their healthiest, and teeth their cleanest. With no strings attached.

    Cellular One:
    Here’s what I know. I know how to house train a dog. I know long division. I know deep down that most pro-football players are big sissies. I know life is really like a box of chocolates. I know that the big secret to the Crying Game is that it was a c****y movie. I know what time it is. I know Shakespeare new er wrote a play called “I Love To Go Swimming”. Okay, so I know a lot of useless stuff. But one thing I know that is useful, is where to buy a cell phone. And that’s Cellular One. Call 1-800-cell-talk.

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    • #67140
      mara_sherman
      Participant

      Great job! I think you sound very conversational and not presentational at all. I think you could have had even more fun with the Cellular One read, maybe just add bit of a different character to each of the facts. Fantastic work!

  • #67110
    SteveVO
    Participant

    A little travelogue. Thanks for any feedback.

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    • #67115
      aylinsings
      Participant

      Hi Steve!

      I really enjoyed your voice and your read! It is a solid take! The only not I have is that you should try to connect with the words a bit more. Im hearing you say all of these wonderful things about this town, but im not feeling you see it if that makes sense?

      Hope that helps!

      Aylin

  • #67102
    taylorn.quinn
    Participant

    Hi all! I am back with another narration reading, this time with an Amelia Earhart Biography opening. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
    Thank You!
    Taylor

    Script:
    Nicknamed “Lady Lindy”, Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic.

    SOT- Its a nice day for it.

    Her speed and distance records earned her the Distinguished Flying Cross, an honor previously only bestowed on men.

    SOT: for your service….first women… applause.

    While serving as a nurse during World War I,

    SOT- battle sounds….men suffering.

    Earhart developed an early concern for her fellow man,
    that helped her champion
    human rights around the world.

    CU of her flying…

    Tonight, On Biography Amelia Earhart. Pilot Soldier activist author.
    Lower third show title.

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    • #67137
      nadiaverde
      Participant

      Your voice is so easy to listen to! Very lovely read. It sounded very natural. My only critique would be to try to vary your delivery a bit to keep the listener engaged, but overall very nice. Great job!

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