Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hey, fellow aspiring voice actors!
If it’s not too much trouble, I would really appreciate any and all feedback even if it’s harsh. I’m not very happy with how these turned out, but I figured I’d never post and learn anything if I try to be happy. That, or I’d strain my voice. Thank you in advance.
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We’re all learning Luke! These reads were pleasantly conversational and the tones felt appropriate. As some of the words sounded muffled, I would say to be just mindful of keeping the clarity throughout when speeding up or stringing together words. You’re on your way!
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Thank you for the feedback. In addition to the words sounding muffled and keeping clarity, I was recently told that I should work on my consonants (i.e. b, f, t) as well to make them more more precise. I’ll definitely be mindful of your comment for my next recordings.
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Hello Edge Friends!
Long time listener, First time caller! Working mostly commercial scripts. The battle is always sounding conversational and taking out pauses that just don’t need to be there. Thanks for listening! Any and all feedback is appreciated! Much love! Keep up the good work everyone!
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I agree with jadethevo! the only thing i can note is that your tone and pacing is really similar in all 3 scripts. although you start with a different energy for each, i wanted to point it out because you land in the same place at the end. carrying your script analysis and choices through to the end will show your range!
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In practicing options for commercial reads, decided to give this character read a try (and had fun). Realize they might be a bit fast, was trying to get it down to a minute and noticed I had a little more wiggle room after I finished editing. Have my own constructive criticism of what I could work more on but would be helpful to get feedback from other ears.
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these are both great! i love the variations, i picked up on a few differences in spite of your speeding it up. the second is a little more guileless and rolling through and the first is more explanatory. i think the script asks for a more serious fairy, (i work for a living!) but i like that you brought that sense of fun to both.
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Hi, all. I had my second coaching session last week, and I’m still working on making my narrations sound conversational–especially when the copy gets a bit grandiloquent. Here are two attempts at the Cosmos practice piece from the script library (the one with “blue nitrogen skies”). For the first one, I tried to be fairly conversational while not completely fighting against the rather high-flown register of the text. For the second one, I tried to push it about 15% further. Please let me know how you think I did and which one you like better. I’d also be grateful for any general critiques. Thanks!
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Both reads were similar, but appropriate and well executed. The second one was a hair faster and slightly less emphatic which didn’t take away from the piece at all IMO. The subtleties were there and the inflections were mindful. Good storytelling, your voice is just perfect for this piece.
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Hello. I’ve been working with Art Bruder and I’ve learned a tremendous amount about the VO biz. Please let me know your opinion on these you have some time.
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I agree with Hazaro, your voice has a wonderful natural resonance. I thought the natural jokey/amused tone in the Harvey2 clip fit really well and came across as natural and endearing. The Financial Engines reading was a good tonal shift for a more serious script. I thought the message of experience you can trust came through naturally due to your voice’s timbre. One note is that you may want to try to push through a little more naturally as you go into “using proprietary advice…,” but I understand that is where you took a breath. Otherwise, I thought the two takes were very good.
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Hi all! I’ve been out for awhile because life hits hard sometimes 🙂
Just trying to jump back in and any feedback would be much appreciated! I’m just on my Mac with headphones, please ignore quality.
Thanks!-
The first read, at first is a little on the slow side. I think that’s intentional, but I believe that your listener will lose interest before you even get to the second half, which is the meat of the commercial. Also, the last last phrase ‘always open’ sounds like it’s more of an annoyance that they’re open all of the time.
The second read has a couple of places where there are pauses where there shouldn’t be. The first is between the words ‘hello’ and ‘to’ at the beginning, and the second time is between the words ‘day’ and ‘and’; the pause is a little too long. Also, the word ‘versatile’ is kind of mumbled in the middle. Hope this helps!
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Evenin, friends
Here are a couple of lightly edited commercial reads for an upcoming coaching session.All comments and feedback welcome
Thanks
Jerry
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I think that you did a good job on the Amtrak commercial read. The Duke’s mayo commercial read, however, I have a couple of minor issues with. The first is that when you say the phrase ‘one of a kind flavor’ you go up on the word ‘kind’ and that makes the phrase, in my opinion, sound off a bit. The other minor thing is when you say ‘Duke’s mayonnaise’ that is a slight pause between the two words that seems to draw undue attention to the phrase. Hope this helps!!!
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Hey, guys, I’ve got a few commercial scripts that I’ve tried out for my homework assignment and I picked some to have a little fun with. Yes, you can comment on my ‘accent’ as well. I have a pretty thick skin, as I’ve worked in retail for several decades. Thanks for your input in advance!!!
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Ben & Jerry’s: I like your read! You might want to speed up slightly, though, both because it’d pep things up to give the fairy a slightly more manic pace and because I’m assuming that this is meant to be a 60-second spot and you’re at 68.
Nit picks:
I like your choice to change “ing” endings to “in'”–but you ought to make sure that you do it consistently throughout.
I would make the emphasis “really WEIRD in your freezer” rather than “really weird in your FREEZER,” because you’re contrasting the item that you’re going to give them, not where you’re going to place it.
I would take less time to pretend to find your place at “So, where was I?” because I feel like the pause is a bit too long and the elongated “So” kills your momentum. (It all has to be super quick to avoid interrupting your flow.)History Channel: This needs much more gravitas. If your voice can go lower and sound more resonant without straining, pull out all the stops for this one. The repeated question–“Who would you be?”–sounds as though the copywriter meant it to feel almost hypnotic, so you’ve really got to sell it.
Nit picks:
“What would you feel?” needs to sound less cheerful and more dramatic.
Is it “Who would you love?” or “Whom would you love?” (If the copywriter made a mistake, there’s nothing that you can do about it, but be careful not to omit the “m” if they have it written correctly in the copy.)
The final sequence of questions is much too rapid-fire. Find somewhere else to speed up your read a little bit in order to buy yourself a few seconds to slow that down a tad. (I noticed that you spoke more slowly in the first half of the commercial, as though you didn’t realize the time crunch until near the end, so start by looking there.)Lender’s Bagels: No, alas, you cannot do that accent. (I think that you knew that already.) If you really want to try the spot, perhaps you could read it in something akin to your Ben and Jerry’s fairy voice? Maybe you could try to have New York energy even if you don’t have a New York accent.
P.S. You seem to be having some audio quality issues, but I imagine that you’re aware of the problem so I’ll leave it at that.
P.P.S. I tried to post this whole reply a moment ago and it disappeared somehow. Hopefully it won’t show back up as a double post. If it does, my apologies!
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Hello VO friends! Here are two more reads for your consideration. I thank you so much for your time and feedback. Please no comments on production quality I still don’t have my home studio arranged. However, I am working on conversational style and glottal stops! Thank you in advance for your thoughts and critiques.
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Hey Nikka Kowidge! Despite the note re: production quality, I still think it’s great in these two reads. I liked your pace in both reads, as slowing down is something I’m working on in mine. What I found especially interesting is the different tone in both reads without having to “project” differently into the microphone. I often find that I try to project too much instead of just letting the mic do its job.
Thanks for sharing
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