Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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good evening lovelies
I’m starting my coaching sessions for commercial so here’s my first go at some scripts for homework. Looking for all the usual: diction, pace, inflection, conversational tone, etc. Give me what you’ve got! And thanks in advance.-
Your delivery is great, you’re confident in the product and the listener knows it. The only thing I can think of for sure is that the tones sound similar to me – while they’re both very good I wonder if the Purina One read could be a bit more playful. Great work
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You have a really lovely tone. Very smooth and comforting. I would pay attention to your breaths in between each phrase. Focus a bit more on fluidity between the phrases you are placing a breath in between, for example, “…home theater// it’s so sophisticated…” and “…fingertips// now if he could…” and watch “Home Theater from Harvey,” that’s the brand, and it sounded like you pulled back on that phrase a little, but overall this is great and very sellable! Great work!
Definitely watch your breathing between each phrase in Purina One, you tend to breath and pause, as opposed to pause and then breath into the next phrase. Your tone on each phrase is cute, I love hearing a smile on each one, even if you’re not actually smiling, your tone seems to smile through. Great job! I hope this was helpful 🙂
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I also think your voice sounds great in these reads. I especially like the tone in the Kerry Gold ad; the light gravel fits nicely. In the Home Depot ad, my only note would be to try to adjust the pace in the lists. The line that begins “you can find it” sounds a bit stilted, almost questioning, to begin but then evens out. Overall a very good job to my beginner ear!
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I like how differently your voice sounds in each read and the deliberate “energy” choices you made for each. My coach has been giving me this note a lot lately (so you’d think I’d learn to incorporate it by now…) and I think could enhance your reads as well: Find places to vary the pace in your sentences/clauses. It’ll make your reads sound more natural and add some auditorial interest.
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Hi There,
I am working with a coach and need some feedback for my next session. I am in the process of preparing for my first Narration demo. Although, I recorded these on the voice recorder app on my phone, I am looking for feedback regarding my actual reading of the copy. How I phrase or emphasize, etc. Would love any help I can get! Thank you!
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You have a very pleasant tone and your diction is quite nice. I’d suggest slowing down a bit and find the parts in each section that you personally find really interesting, then lean into them. Really pinpoint who that focal person or audience is and focus on the goal to entertain and draw them into your story. Currently everything seems to have the same weight and emphasis (not monotone or dull by any means, but doesn’t feel conversational).
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Thank you for this wonderful feedback! Wow! I definitely find that the conversational mindset and speed are my most challenging areas. I am definitely working on that more and more. I tend to sound like a reporter when I slow down. Any advice on slowing down without pausing too much? I feel like I run out of breath and/or have to breathe more often when I do. Anywho, thank you so much for this! I really appreciate it.
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Hello all! Away from my normal set up as I finish up a trip. Sound quality isn’t great, but any feedback on my reading is greatly appreciated!
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Lots of great technical stuff here (vocally I mean, I understand you’re away from your equipment 🙂 ). I’d challenge you go go bigger with conveying tone and specific audience. Both reads sounded like they could come from the same book, but are two very different topics. Perhaps play with making your voice more warm and tender for the healthcare one and more playful and enthusiastic for the educational b****r one. This isn’t meant so much as a criticism as it is an invitation to play and see what you can find to push yourself.
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Hi all, hope you all had a wonderful thankgsiving!
Here are two more practice reads where I’m trying to focus on reading slower/enunciating better. Any and all feedback is welcomed. Thanks in advance
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Great voice – I think you can spend a bit more time on saying the names like Holmes and Watson – since they are the main characters and everything revolves around them to some degree, I think either saying their names slower or having a teeny tiny pause (especially before you said Sherlock Holmes the first time) would help remind listeners to whom they should pay attention. Hope that helps!
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Hey Thomas! Love your voice. In the Brief history of time read I did hear a bit of mouth noise that I didn’t hear in the Sherlock Holmes read. Were you warmed up a little more on the Sherlock read?
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Hey Thomas! Great voice. On brief history of time I would recommend just slowing down a tad. And on Sherlock Holmes the word “energizer” sounds like “energiza”. I would just be mindful sounding the words off completely. I struggle with this often so I hear it easier lol. I really have to focus on not doing it. Great job!
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Hey all! Working on a homework assignment like most of you guys. I’m a little bit sleepy tonight so I decided to read an excerpt from a sleep meditation. Any and all feedback is welcome 🙂
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Hello! This is my first post in here with my homework assignment. I will be working on my narration demo in the coming weeks. I work in the medical field which is why I chose a tongue twister it seems medical narration. I would love to have some technique feedback.
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Hey everyone. I’m back for round two of feedback. I don’t want to sound pessimistic, so I make this concise. You may hear a dozen of things wrong with each recording, but I will do my best to make sure I implement any and all feedback into future recordings. Thank you in advance.
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And another one! Practicing a friendlier read here. Found myself stumbling a bit on the alliterations, but I kept going as opposed to starting over within the same takes. Let me know if you have any feedback, particularly on glottal stops.
Thank you!
Script from the library:
At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!
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These sound like they could be in a real commercial. All it’s missing is the music to go with it.
If you find yourself stumbling on alliterations, you should try incorporating tongue twisters in your vocal warm ups. It’s definitely helped me in the same regard.
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