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  • #81893
    DanielButtrey
    Participant

    Hey all! Working on a homework assignment like most of you guys. I’m a little bit sleepy tonight so I decided to read an excerpt from a sleep meditation. Any and all feedback is welcome 🙂

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    • #81927
      jadethevo
      Participant

      This is so clear, comforting and peaceful. Great read. Would love to know where the except is from!

    • #81916
      aemanimate
      Participant

      Wow that was excellent. Very professional sounding. I thought I was on the headspace app.

  • #81884
    aemanimate
    Participant

    Hello! This is my first post in here with my homework assignment. I will be working on my narration demo in the coming weeks. I work in the medical field which is why I chose a tongue twister it seems medical narration. I would love to have some technique feedback.

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    • #81900
      Thomas_D
      Participant

      Hey Aemanimate, you’re very good with verbose/wordy sentences. I listened to the medical narration first, which I thought was great, and then the N**i second, and though “there are so many words here”. You’re able to cleary enunciate each word effortlessly, which is definitely a challenge I have.

  • #81862
    Luke V
    Participant

    Hey everyone. I’m back for round two of feedback. I don’t want to sound pessimistic, so I make this concise. You may hear a dozen of things wrong with each recording, but I will do my best to make sure I implement any and all feedback into future recordings. Thank you in advance.

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    • #81888
      aemanimate
      Participant

      Hey Luke! For Michelin I would recommend eliminating some of the pauses in between words. You came off fast and then slowed down a little.

  • #81856
    jadethevo
    Participant

    And another one! Practicing a friendlier read here. Found myself stumbling a bit on the alliterations, but I kept going as opposed to starting over within the same takes. Let me know if you have any feedback, particularly on glottal stops.

    Thank you!

    Script from the library:

    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

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    • #81887
      aemanimate
      Participant

      I really enjoyed Freshii 3! It all sounded like it was exciting and flowed. I would just change the ending Eat, Energize. Make the tone go lower on the end of energize for Freshii 3

    • #81866
      Luke V
      Participant

      These sound like they could be in a real commercial. All it’s missing is the music to go with it.

      If you find yourself stumbling on alliterations, you should try incorporating tongue twisters in your vocal warm ups. It’s definitely helped me in the same regard.

      • #81869
        jadethevo
        Participant

        Thanks so much, Luke! I’ll work those into my practice.

  • #81850
    jadethevo
    Participant

    Hi all!

    Here are a few practice takes for homework (these are all 22 seconds or less!). Looking for non-technical feedback, especially if you have any thoughts/concerns about glottal stops.

    Thank you in advance

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    • #81985
      LaurynM
      Participant

      Hi Jade, you have such a lovely voice! So smooth and clean. I love how smooth the 4th take is, but it’s almost a bit too fast, but might come in handy for specs that call for that type of sound and speed. I love the energy on take 5, but then it drops after the first phrase. Personally, I think take 3 is the strongest. It’s slower, but phrased nicely, and breaths are placed with intent and I can really start to see a picture of what the Breethe App does. Nice job. I think take 2 was a little combination of all takes, and therefore felt a bit choppy, but take 3 wins!! Nice work! Can’t wait to see more work from you 🙂

  • #81834
    nettipo1
    Participant

    Hello, I would love to get any kind of feedback you feel like giving me! Do you like or not like the POV that I chose, or the style I chose, or the sound quality – just anything that comes to mind. Thanks!~

    Burt’s Bees
    You asked me to define myself? What can I say? I’m complicated. I’m complex. I’m a boss. And beautiful. Im all these things and a million things more. The one thing I’m not? I’m not? I’m not synthetic. So why would I use beauty products that are? Introducing new Burt’s Bees Beauty. A full line of natural cosmetics that make you feel your beautiful best. Because of how they’re made. Not in spite of it. Burt’s Bees.

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    • #81848
      Grace17
      Participant

      You sounded authentic, like a real person, and playful which makes the read fun to listen to. But the tone you used for “boss” didn’t sound like you were confident in that. The first line, up until “beautiful” doesn’t sound confident enough to me. Complicated and complex are redundant. Also, I recommend reevaluating what words to hit. Hit the descriptive words(ex: “complex”) in phrases like “I’m complex” rather than the “i’m” part. And natural would benefit from being hit since that’s the main selling point of the product.

      • #81849
        nettipo1
        Participant

        This is wonderful feedback, thank you so much!!!

  • #81813
    Artist7
    Participant

    Hi,Everyone!

    Would appreciate feedback on pace and whether my tone sounds conversational. Thanks in advance!

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    • #81836
      nettipo1
      Participant

      You have a great voice – smooth, credible, pleasant. I liked both reads. The only thing that stood out to me on the 23 Women is the sentence where you said “23 Women is a story” and because you had a downward inflection after story (I’m guessing there was a comma right there?) it sounded like the end of a sentence, so try to ignore punctuation. I liked the tone of compassion in the Talk Listen, but I would say here also, try to ignore the commas, which are making you pause in the middle of your sentence. I bet you have the ability to deliver the emotional quality without the pauses. Good stuff!

  • #81809
    Hazaro
    Participant

    Last commercial alt reads before coaching session today. (Realized I dropped “you” at the end of the first one :/) Appreciate the listens and feedback thus far. Thank you for your time!

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    • #81832
      Grace17
      Participant

      A pace in between these two would be best for most cases in my opinion. You don’t want to elongate words too much since if you were having a conversation, that would confuse the person and being too fast, the person would not process most of what you say. You have a very brief pause between each beat in the script and that’s very nice.

  • #81796
    Grace17
    Participant

    Please excuse the mic pops and i’m not looking for technical feedback but feedback on technique and believability as I’m about to record my narration demo. Thanks!

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    • #81868
      jadethevo
      Participant

      Grace, you reads are mostly very clear! And yes, you do a great job of varying tone between your reads– wow! I am inspired by your ability to do so.

      I think this is the biggest area of improvement that I can hear is in your “TH” sounds, they are closer to “D” sounds and it would be beneficial for you to enunciate more on these.

      Here’s feedback on the individual reads:

      Diabetes: Though the subject is “serious,” I found the use of this tone to be a bit too urgent/worrying/fear-inducing. I would recommend attempting a more straight-forward read. Also, the read of “so what should parents be looking for?”, maybe raise your intonation a bit at the end to make it clearer that this is a question.

      Constellations: Very energetic! This would be so great for something educational for kids. It sounds VERY natural, like you’re talking to a group of kids on a field trip at a museum, love that. Again, the “TH” vs. “D” sound feedback stands. The first line of the read was a bit jumbled, too. Slow that line down a bit and make clearer distinctions between each word.

      Crypto: I think you can place more emphasis on “cryptocurrency” here– “money word” as they say! Otherwise, great job of making distinctions between things you listed (“change, cheat, hack”)

      Lamentation of Christ: I think you can actually slow down a little bit on this, but just slightly. Again, focus on pronouncing T’s fully. I think you also lost a bit of volume in your attempt to use a calmer, subtler tone. I like the tone and think it would be beneficial to attempt to replicate it at a higher volume.

    • #81812
      Grace17
      Participant

      Also, do you sense variety between the reads? Would you recommend more variety between them to market myself?

  • #81773
    Benn Pharr IV
    Participant

    G’evening all. Here’s a couple uploads for my homework assignment. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

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    • #81833
      Grace17
      Participant

      These are really nice confident reads. I recommend talking to someone. Really talk to them, to avoid the times when it sounds like you’re reading. And also smiling to show you have confidence in the information you’re saying.

      • #81837
        nettipo1
        Participant

        Your delivery is nice and clear, but it seems kind of careful-sounding. I agree with Grace17; imagining yourself saying the words to another person will definitely make it flow like a conversation with the listener.

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