Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Uploading my first recordings for feedback.
Does my read sound conversational? How is my diction? How about my pace? Anything else jump out at you – for better or worse?
Thanks!-
I really like the baby bath read. The smile in your voice comes through, and you sound interested in what you’re talking about.
The Danables read sounds a bit forced. You linger on the first vowel of words. Wish I had more clear feedback. Lol the variation in your tone and energy is great. Take another crack at it to find the natural flow like you’ve done more closely with the second read. 🙂
Great first submission!!
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**not working from a professional home studio yet, NO technical feedback, please!**
-Does my read sound conversational?
-How is my diction?
-Working on my pace – how is it?
-Am I reading my copy with a good flow or do I sound choppy?
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I love the “Journey Always” script. Very natural sounding, good pace, great tone. The Disney Princess game sounds like you are doing a character. Your voice is higher than natural. I’d suggest you try it more in your own tone of voice, more natural. Hope this helps.
Jeff
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MR. COFFEE ELITE PLUS COFFEEMAKER
NOW WHEN YOU STUMBLE OUT OF BED WITH A MILLION THINGS TO DO, AT
LEAST THE COFFEE’S READY. MR. COFFEE ELITE PLUS COFFEEMAKER STARTS
BREWING WHENEVER YOU SAY. YOU DECIDE THE NIGHT BEFORE, PUSH A FEW BUTTONS AND GO TO BED.
YOU’LL WAKE UP TO A FRESH, HOT P*T OF STEAMING SALVATION.
NOW THAT’S WHAT WE CALL A REAL EYE-OPENER.-
This is really good. And you took the time to add music. Sounds really professional. Is this for your demo?
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Hello everyone,
Here are two more narration scripts I have been working on for homework. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!
Christopher Reeve Voice Over Script
The whole world held its breath when Christopher Reeve struggled for life on Memorial Day, 1995. On the third jump of a riding competition, Reeve was thrown headfirst from his horse in an accident that broke his neck and left him unable to move or breathe. In the years following the accident, Reeve raised much awareness and money for spinal cord research. And in 1998, he penned the heartbreaking, funny and courageous autobiography, “Still Me”. As we look back, you’ll hear from the Man of Steel himself through interview footage as he talks about his early success on Broadway opposite the legendary Katherine Hepburn, and later the adventure of filming Superman on the streets of New York, and how the movie made him a star. With dignity and sensitivity, he describes the journey he has made – physically, emotionally, spiritually. This is the determined, passionate story of one man, a gifted actor and star.
Meditation Voice Over Script
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times.
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Hey, Ryan –
Both good reads. The Reeve script felt a little fast, but otherwise did well in drawing the listener in.
on the meditation script, I was going to say that it needed to be more relaxed, but then you made me inhale for 8 counts, etc. Although that feels like forever on the read, it was effective in getting the listener to do exactly what you were reading. nice job.
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My admittedly newbie-ish feedback:
You have a great voice for this copy.
Be careful of the pauses. E.g., poor neighborhoods <pause> where the chance to thrive… It sounds choppy at times due to some of the microbuses.
Also, maybe hit the words “grow up” less as it sounds a little unnatural. Also, watch for glottal stops, e.g., on the word “and” after “learn”. Make sure you enunciate clearly. Open your mouth more.
On the list: Leader, Contributor, productive citizen, instead of hitting each and pitching down, I would go up on the pitch for leader, and down on contributor and productive citizen.
Hope this helps!
Jeff -
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Hello all,
I had my third coaching session and was asked to upload more practice pieces to the feedback forum, so here goes. Any comment is appreciated! Among other things, I have been working on trying to make dense scientific and medical stuff sound “friendly,” per my coach’s instructions. I worry that my attempts at friendliness often lead to my speeding up too much and pitching my voice up too high, though. I’d be grateful for your thoughts!
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Hello everyone,
Here are two narration scripts I was working on for homework. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!
Superman Museum Voice Over Script
Welcome to the Metropolis Superman Museum. Throughout the museum you will find numerous examples of Superman merchandise and memorabilia, illustrating the long and grand history of the world’s most beloved superhero.
To begin your tour, please proceed to the right.
Superman began as a series of daily comic strips created by writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Shuster. The first adaptation of the comic was a radio drama starring Bud Collyer as Superman.Explainer video for website Voice Over Script
For a manufacturer: Visibility, Performance and Predictability are paramount to success.But how do industry professionals in sewn products manufacturing meet the challenges of reducing cycle times, increasing productivity, and delivering greater quality at lower costs?
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Hi Ryan,
I like your voice! Comments on your pieces:Superman Museum
-I think you can slow down significantly and take longer pauses between beats. Museum-goers are presumably going to be moving at a leisurely pace so that they can look around. There’s no need for you to rush.
-“Welcome to the Metropolois Superman Museum” can sound more excited and grand. You’ve got cool stuff to show people; you can be delighted that they’re there to see it all!
-Words that I think you might consider hitting at least slightly harder: “find NUMEROUS examples” “of SUPERMAN merchandise” “the LONG and GRAND history” “most BELOVED superhero”
-I don’t think “memorabilia” needs to be emphasized.Explainer Video
-I think you might try hitting “paramount” slightly harder.
-I’m losing the word “in” in “professionals *in* sewn products”–it sounds like it could be “N” or “and” and I’m having to infer from context (“sewn” could be slightly clearer, too, because when it’s not pronounced with extreme delicacy it is at risk of sounding like “zone,” since that’s a more common word); just watch your enunciation there.
-The list of “reducing cycle times, increasing productivity, and delivering greater quality at lower costs” could use a little more variation in tone. (You did very well with the first list–“Visibility, Performance and Predictability”!)
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