[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Benn Pharr IV]

Good day all! Hope everyone had a enjoyable and safe holiday. Here are a couples reads from my homework assignment. I appreciate the feedback!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[billmull]

I like these reads. I am going to disagree a bit with the two prior feedbacks you received. Your tone is a bit low key, but this may be OK depending on the direction as well as the visual associated with the scripts. There are low key voice overs I hear on TV commercials these days which work very well. You may want to experiment with different levels of energy just for the sake of practice, but otherwise I think these are very good reads. Keep up the good work!

[LiamS]

Good pace and diction on both reads, but there is a lack of energy. Try going at it like your talking to your friend just to see how it goes.

[H]

Benn, good reads. I’d suggest trying them again with a bit more energy so that the listener’s FOMO is built up and they just have to check out the product especially since its free.

[Bil-Bo]

A-1 Steak Sauce

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[billmull]

I can’t really come up with any constructive feedback regarding your vocal delivery since it’s a very good read. Some nitpicky feedback is that the background music is a bit loud and didn’t allow me to hear your voice as clearly as I would like.

[H]

Where can I get some A1?! Really good read in my opinion!

[ryanp.bogie]

Happy New Year everyone! Attached are two scripts I’ve been working on for homework. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

Disney’s Oceans Opening (Soft Spoken) Voice Over Script
A boy comes running up, and he asks, “What exactly is the ocean? What is the sea?”
You could hit him with a lot of statistics and Latin names, but the answer isn’t something you’ll find in a book. To really know what the ocean is, you have to see it for yourself. And hear it. And taste it. You have to feel its power.

E-Learning VO tutorial Voice Over Script
This video will show you how to create a new email account in Outlook XP. The first step in creating a new email account is to open Outlook XP. Once the program is open, move your mouse to the upper hand menu and click the tools button. Scroll down, and click”‘email accounts”. The “email accounts” box will appear. Select the “add a new email account” option, and then click “Next”. You will now be prompted to enter the type of server that operates your email account. Select “Pop3”, and click “Next”.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[billmull]

Nice job Ryan! Here’s my feedback: I liked the e-learning script better. Your pace is good and you annunciate well. It would be easy for someone to follow along as you’re speaking and understand what they need to do. Regarding disneys-ocean, I think your pace is too slow. Otherwise, these are good.

[Steven]

Hello! I’m practicing to hone my commercial skills, and I thought I should upload these for feedback. I’m trying to focus on my diction and conversational tone, but any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

-Steven

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Terry Davis]

Good job on both of these reads. I like your warm natural voice on the bartending school spot. There are parts that sound really relaxed and conversational and a bit that stray just a bit. In particular the first line sounds like you’re reading a question instead of asking a question. The Tennessee whiskey spot was also very nice. I think the pace was good for that style of spot but could maybe be picked up just a notch. As I listened, I felt like your voice got a little more twangy as the read went on. I think it would be perfect if you used more of your natural voice and just used a small amount of the twang. Overall, great job.

[Steven]

Thank you; I appreciate it!

[TimberTykes]

Good Afternoon!

Doing some more practice to help keep myself on track.

Since I’ve last been here, I’ve spruced up my place with a little soundproofing, so hopefully things sound better here.

It’s a commercial script, with a conversational feel. I’m trying to evoke a beginning, middle, end, as well as making sure my pronunciation of words are clear and sound.

Any and all feedback are much appreciated, thank you for your time!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Steven]

I found this to be a fun take. The whole read follows a Dr. Seuss-like melody, except for the line: “So, instead of going on a trip, go on your trip.” You read this more straight than the rest, and it felt a little jarring.
It sounds like you’re taking a breath or a pause where commas would be in a written script. Conversationally, we speak in complete thoughts and often blow through where commas would be in writing. There are pauses in the comparisons that break up what should be complete, continuous thoughts. “Do you dive right into the city, [small pause][breath] or swim in anything but crowds?” Try breathing after this sentence, instead of in the middle. You did well to not breathe in the middle of the next sentence, but there’s a pause in the middle of the second, compared activity: “Hit the slopes, or hit the snooze [pause] under a duvet of clouds?” The pause should be removed to make one complete thought. This will help it flow and feel more conversational. Also, “duvet of clouds” seems slightly rushed.
The word “sit” in “Sit with the locals…” is a little unclear.
There is a breath that breaks up the service line: “Whatever it is, [breath] your Travel Edge expert can make it so.” Take a breath before this sentence, so this line isn’t interrupted.
Lastly, it’s fast in some spots and slower in others. Slowing down a hair and keeping a steady cadence will help clarity and flow.
All-in-all, I like this piece. I think you have a good voice for it.

[TimberTykes]

I appreciate the feedback!

Yeah, it seems like I fell back into old habits with the pausing, and didn’t even realize it. Thanks for that! I’ll confuse pausing at commas with pausing in-between sentences and keep going. I’ll keep this in mind as I continue recording. I’ll also make sure that my words are a bit more clearer to understand.

[SteveVO]

A character voice for telling the intro to Beauty and the Beast.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Earthbul]

I agree with Terry. I sense an extremely low hiss. Great read.

[Terry Davis]

Great job with this read. I love your pace and how you added variation to different words and sentences. You added some great color to some words. When you say “repulsed” I really felt that. I think you could of even added a little more color to the word monstrous. With a story style read it really gives the listener a visual when certain words are brought to life and I think you did a good job. I don’t have the most discerning ear but I thought I could hear some background noise but maybe I was just listening for something to critique because I think this was such a great read.

[SteveVO]

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate that. I think the background noise was caused by trying a different mic placement. Thanks for letting me know you heard that.

[Just_Journey]

**not working from a professional home studio yet, NO technical feedback, please!**

-Does my read sound conversational?

-How is my diction?

-Working on my pace – how is it?

-Am I reading my copy with a good flow or do I sound choppy?

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[ShellyMadison]

These reads are lovely. Your voice is extremely pleasant, you have great energy, and seem to be interested in what you are saying.

It is a little disjointed between sentences. When you’re marking up your script, find ways to connect connect statements, especially ones that are related. Noticeable example: “…more often. In more places. With less mess.” Treat this like a list rather than 3 separate thoughts.

Another example, “Get the coverage you need. For a price you can afford.” There is too much space between these statements.

Diction is something I’m working on to so don’t feel I can give great feedback here, but I did notice “costs”, the sts sound is getting lost.

Beautiful work

[Steve Z-A]

Hi friends- Hope you are having a great holiday season. I am posting here a few narration samples I would welcome feedback on. Specifically wondering about the pacing and tone of these. I know the recording quality sounds like it was done on a phone,,,because it was. Thanks in advance for any comments. Steve

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[swester]

Hi Steve – Overall, I think your diction is clear and your pacing good. If you are able to bring a little more energy into your reads, that would really up your game!

[Steve Z-A]

Thanks so much for the feedback.

[Ymin33]

Hello this forum is so helpful! I’ve attached two kind of older samples, I’ve made a progress since these but never got a chance to ask for any feedback on these. Still working on sound quality aspects but curious as to other aspects, Thank you

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Steve Z-A]

I really liked both of these reads. The Adventure Academy in particular kept me wanting to hear more with your voice and emphasis on key words.

[Wes@1972]

2021 Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
When you have a two inch lift…

When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…
When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
When you have all that…
The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…
Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
Chevy….find new roads.

I’m looking for some feedback as I work to improve skill with reads and editing! Thanks for any positive and constructive feedback!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Steve Z-A]

Your enunciation is very good. Easy to understand. I feel your pace could be a bit faster (a problem I am also working on) and I would also suggest you pick a few key words throughout the text to emphasize with your voice.

[Wes@1972]

Thank you Zakon! That’s great feedback. I appreciate it.

[Author]

Replies