Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Good Afternoon!
Doing some more practice to help keep myself on track.
Since I’ve last been here, I’ve spruced up my place with a little soundproofing, so hopefully things sound better here.
It’s a commercial script, with a conversational feel. I’m trying to evoke a beginning, middle, end, as well as making sure my pronunciation of words are clear and sound.
Any and all feedback are much appreciated, thank you for your time!
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I found this to be a fun take. The whole read follows a Dr. Seuss-like melody, except for the line: “So, instead of going on a trip, go on your trip.” You read this more straight than the rest, and it felt a little jarring.
It sounds like you’re taking a breath or a pause where commas would be in a written script. Conversationally, we speak in complete thoughts and often blow through where commas would be in writing. There are pauses in the comparisons that break up what should be complete, continuous thoughts. “Do you dive right into the city, [small pause][breath] or swim in anything but crowds?” Try breathing after this sentence, instead of in the middle. You did well to not breathe in the middle of the next sentence, but there’s a pause in the middle of the second, compared activity: “Hit the slopes, or hit the snooze [pause] under a duvet of clouds?” The pause should be removed to make one complete thought. This will help it flow and feel more conversational. Also, “duvet of clouds” seems slightly rushed.
The word “sit” in “Sit with the locals…” is a little unclear.
There is a breath that breaks up the service line: “Whatever it is, [breath] your Travel Edge expert can make it so.” Take a breath before this sentence, so this line isn’t interrupted.
Lastly, it’s fast in some spots and slower in others. Slowing down a hair and keeping a steady cadence will help clarity and flow.
All-in-all, I like this piece. I think you have a good voice for it.-
I appreciate the feedback!
Yeah, it seems like I fell back into old habits with the pausing, and didn’t even realize it. Thanks for that! I’ll confuse pausing at commas with pausing in-between sentences and keep going. I’ll keep this in mind as I continue recording. I’ll also make sure that my words are a bit more clearer to understand.
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Great job with this read. I love your pace and how you added variation to different words and sentences. You added some great color to some words. When you say “repulsed” I really felt that. I think you could of even added a little more color to the word monstrous. With a story style read it really gives the listener a visual when certain words are brought to life and I think you did a good job. I don’t have the most discerning ear but I thought I could hear some background noise but maybe I was just listening for something to critique because I think this was such a great read.
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**not working from a professional home studio yet, NO technical feedback, please!**
-Does my read sound conversational?
-How is my diction?
-Working on my pace – how is it?
-Am I reading my copy with a good flow or do I sound choppy?
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These reads are lovely. Your voice is extremely pleasant, you have great energy, and seem to be interested in what you are saying.
It is a little disjointed between sentences. When you’re marking up your script, find ways to connect connect statements, especially ones that are related. Noticeable example: “…more often. In more places. With less mess.” Treat this like a list rather than 3 separate thoughts.
Another example, “Get the coverage you need. For a price you can afford.” There is too much space between these statements.
Diction is something I’m working on to so don’t feel I can give great feedback here, but I did notice “costs”, the sts sound is getting lost.
Beautiful work
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Hi friends- Hope you are having a great holiday season. I am posting here a few narration samples I would welcome feedback on. Specifically wondering about the pacing and tone of these. I know the recording quality sounds like it was done on a phone,,,because it was. Thanks in advance for any comments. Steve
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Hi Steve – Overall, I think your diction is clear and your pacing good. If you are able to bring a little more energy into your reads, that would really up your game!
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Hello this forum is so helpful! I’ve attached two kind of older samples, I’ve made a progress since these but never got a chance to ask for any feedback on these. Still working on sound quality aspects but curious as to other aspects, Thank you
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2021 Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
When you have a two inch lift…When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…
When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
When you have all that…
The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…
Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
Chevy….find new roads.I’m looking for some feedback as I work to improve skill with reads and editing! Thanks for any positive and constructive feedback!
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Your enunciation is very good. Easy to understand. I feel your pace could be a bit faster (a problem I am also working on) and I would also suggest you pick a few key words throughout the text to emphasize with your voice.
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Hello! Uploading some narration practice. I’m working on diction and pacing for conversational reads, but am open to any other feedback.
Thanks!-
Hi Debbie –
I loved your reads in both cases! I particularly liked your tone on the Children’s space narration. For the Website greeting, I just did the same one, so I focused on that. I noticed some choppiness due to glottal stops, and also a few cases where it could have been a little more conversational. Some examples:
“of car shoppers”…(smooth out glottal stop on “of”)
“his next car” – smooth this out to sound more natural.
“could have reached Bob” – I think “could’ve reached Bob” would sound more natural hereI did like your choice of hitting “18” on “18 websites”. I personally think the glottal stop in this case is a good choice, as it is an important thing to “hit”.
I’m uploading mine too. I’d love to hear your thoughts and criticisms!
I didn’t focus on the Children’s one as much, but I noticed a few glottal stops in there as well, e.g., “some other” and “throughout”. Just maybe something to watch.
Jeff
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Nice job! I really like your voice for both these scripts I think you picked good ones suited to your voice. I think your second read (space) was more conversational because the words flowed together more smoothly. The first read could flow even more just like you did with your second script. Otherwise I really liked how you varied your tones.
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Hello – Submitting for first time – open to criticism on these narration reads… still fooling around w/tech. How is my pace? Is it conversational enough? Anything else? Thank you!
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This will be the first time I am uploading anything. I would appreciate any type of feedback at all. Thank you in advance.
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MLB: I think you were trying too hard to sound dramatic at the very beginning, i.e. “The wait … is finally … over”, and it ended up sounding unnatural. Once you got into the rest of the script it seemed to flow much better. I find that smiling while I’m speaking helps me to sound more conversational and natural, so you might want to try this even when you’re trying to sound dramatic.
Capella: I liked this very much especially the very end, i.e. “don’t just learn, learn smarter” which sounded especially authentic. Good variety throughout the read. Nice job!
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Hi All – Appreciate your feedback on these 3 scripts! Looking specifically for feedback on conversational read, pacing, and flow.
Thanks!
JeffCalifornia Voiceover script
It’s easy to understand why the United States went to war to get California. A land full of wonders, where one man’s chance discovery triggered a mad rush for gold, and where a new generation of marijuana growers is testing the limits of the law. Full of ancient forests and volcanic forms and a valley that’s also the hottest place on earth.
Enjoy spectacular views along the Pacific Coast Highway or soar over beaches and wine country. Explore Big Sur redwoods and cross the Golden Gate Bridge into the heart and soul of this magnificent state. It’s a region full of character, from movie stars to silicon valley giants to amazing natural wonders. Join us as we visit the Golden State of California.Golden Gate Bridge 75th Anniversary-Wells Fargo Voice Over Script
May 27, 1937. As evening descends to a chorus of oohs and aahs, where the night before stood only blackness, an icon of human accomplishment now illuminates the sky, and a new era of connectivity and commerce is ushered in with celebration and fireworks.
It was at that moment that the Golden Gate Bridge became an integral part of Bay Area life, as it remains to this day, an every day reminder that the Bay Area is a place where nothing is impossible, and dreams become reality.
The Golden Gate Bridge and Wells Fargo each continue to play leading roles in the growth and development of the Bay Area, and we’re honored to help bring the celebrations of the Golden Gate Bridge 75th Anniversary to life.
To Learn more, visit ggb75.wellsfargo.com.Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car. A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough. According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.-
Nice reads. Well enunciated and good flow. I found I was wanting the first two to be read a bit faster, with shorter pauses between phrases. Not sure if others would agree with that. I liked the pace of the third one, however.
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