[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Artist7]

Hello-I’ve uploaded two practice scripts, I’d really appreciate some feedback on pace and whether the reads sound conversational. Thanks in advance!

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[aemanimate]

Hi!

4 kids TV was great! Sounded like an actual commercial

The Advil one just needs a little tweaking on the delivery. When you say or longer lasting than “Advil” Change the tone in the way you say Advil.

[Earthbul]

I agree on the 4 kids spot. Although I felt it could have had more “smile” on it. As for the Advil spot i 110% on the tone. It threw me off a bit as well. The pauses should be tightened up as well. I enjoy the sound of your voice and your inflections. Keep em coming !

[RGK3]

Hello all:

I’d appreciate any feedback on the reads attached, particularly concerning the flow.

Thanks!

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[ShellyMadison]

These are great choices for your voice profile. Your diction is very good and doesn’t sound overly stilted. I’d suggest for Gillette finding some variety in your phrasing and ways to connect phrases. Paraphrased example: “3 mounted blades to adjust for every curve, PLUS….AND a strip of aloe.” This is a list and should be phrased as commas rather than periods. Currently they are three separate statements with all the same weight and tone. These are the selling points of the ad so find what’s indivually interesting about each feature but string them together since they’re all talking about one product. Your tag “Gillette the best a man can get” is very strong.

Your opening list in Vanguard has a lot of nice variation and suits the tone of the product very well (sincere, reliable, authoritative). Just to play with the read, maybe see how it feels for that opening list to read like commas rather than periods. I don’t mean to use up talk necessarily, but let your tone indicate there is more to come with the first two and give that period in your voice for the third.

great work

[RGK3]

Thank you for the thoughtful feedback.

[SuperLuke]

Happy New Year.
I am working on bettering my audition and self-direction skills by performing commercial reads.
Please have a listen and let me know what you think,

Thank you,
-Luke

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[ShellyMadison]

Great energy to your read and enthusiasm for the product. Two things I’d suggest looking out for. First is trying to neutralize your accent (New England? I especially hear it in “hardwood”) but definitely a great thing to keep in your back pocket for ads that want that relatable regionalism (I have to WORK to keep my southern accent from sneaking in). Secondly, be careful with consonant blends at the end of words like “lift.” They need to be more crisp just for clarify of the script.

[TimberTykes]

Good Evening!

I have another recording that I’m posting here for practice. It’s a conversational commercial.

My focus is on diction, keeping the reading at a steady pace with little unnatural pausing, and making sure the reading has a beginning/middle/end. I’m not too worried about the breathing, and I do apologize if my mouth sounds dry!

Feedback of any kind is much appreciated. Thank you for your time!

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[RGK3]

Hi,

Nice job. The pacing is good and the diction is clear. On the constuctive side, I didn’t hear a great deal of transition between the beginning, middle, and end, and the read felt more presentational than conversational.

[forever888]

Wonderful great diction, smooth and flowing.

[forever888]

Brian great great read I thought I was actually watching the commercial.

[forever888]

I thought your read was great diction, nice rythm

[forever888]

Please note micropauses and diction

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[ShellyMadison]

Hi there
I’m having trouble opening both of your submissions. I tried on my computer and my phone. It shows as having a length of time but is silent. Very well could be my devices (both Apple) but wanted to alert you in case others are having difficulty too and is robbing you of feedback 🙂

[forever888]

Feedback on micropauses and diction aside from obvious gaffs

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[BrianWigginsVO]

Using the advice in the voice actor’s to-do list that was shared in the recent Edge newsletter, and hoping to get some feedback on some recent auditions.

Audition 1 Specs: Male, 40s-70s. Natural, not commercial. Authoritative. A rich, deep, lived-in voice with some unique character. No southern accents (neutral dialect). Ability to romance copy, create a longing for West Virginia. Multiple scripts.

Audition 2 Specs: Super energetic and exciting, yet friendly – that friend who can’t wait to tell you about something new they tried.

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[Declan Waters]

Hi Brian,

I like the differentiation between the two reads, the confidence in one and the energy in the other.

For Announcer_Brian-Wiggins, it sounds (to me) like some of your words ending in L or vowels like in the word ‘you’ trail off slightly. That’s my only note for that

I liked Fazolis-VO_Brian Wiggins a lot, your read makes me want to try some of that food! When you go from describing the sauces to the cheeses, there’s a bit of a jump in your excitement level where I think it might flow better to have more of a crescendo linking the two parts together, which I can hear a little bit of at the words ‘alfredo sauce,’ but I think it could be even stronger, if that makes sense. Hope this is useful!

[Author]

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