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  • #83016
    Earthbul
    Participant

    Been awhile. Thought I’d dip my toe back in the pool 🙂 I’m aware of the down swing on some of the words. I’m working on it.
    All comments welcomed and appreciated.
    In 1819, the 238 ton Essex set sail from Nantucket on a routine voyage to hunt whales.
    Fifteen months later, the unthinkable happened: In the farthest reaches of the South Pacific,
    the Essex was rammed and sunk by an enraged s***m whale. Fearing cannibals on the islands to the west,
    the twenty-man crew set out in three small boats for South America, almost 3,000 miles away.
    Three months later, only eight were left alive, the survivors having been forced to eat the bodies of their dead shipmates.
    The ordeal of the Essex was as well-known in it’s time as the story of the Titanic is today.
    Steeped in the lore of whaling, with deep resonance in American literature and history.

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  • #83005
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Character with SFX
    LINGUINI AND BOB RESTAURANT
    When dining formally, in order to avoid an embarrassing utensil faux pas, observe the following protocol: Begin by locating your seafood fork. Grasping this fork between thumb and forefinger, proceed to shove it into the ear of the person directly to your left. SFX: Yeouch!! Next, to impress business associates, stick your soup spoon up your nose and exclaim, “Look at me, I’m a bowl of soup.” When the entree arrives, use the butter spreader to catapult particularly juicy portions onto the balding heads of nearby diners. SFX: Splat! And finally, quietly finish with your dessert utensils, all the while, of course, making odd gurgling noises SFX: Gurgling! and clucking like a chicken. SFX: Clucking Chicken! This lesson in table etiquette has been brought to you by Linguini and Bob, who invite you to enjoy serious Italian food in a not-so-serious atmosphere. Linguini and Bob, now open at Butler Square in Minneapolis.

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  • #82997
    jnamar
    Participant

    Hi everyone!
    Both my recordings are done on an Iphone so the sound quality is not good.
    I mostly want your feedback on my delivery. Like did I emphasize the right words? How’s my inflection on these reads; is it Flat? Rising? Falling? Also did I ended my thoughts well after a sentence. Or anything that you like about it or you think I can work on to be better. Thank you, let’s stay motivated!

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    • #83124
      RGK3
      Participant

      Hi,

      Nice job. I think you told the story well in the Burt’s Bees spot and your inflections matched the text appropriately. I think you could have gotten more out of the end of the thought on “so you can be a force” if you slowed it down and emphasized the benefit more strongly (being a force).

      The AmEx spot felt less conversational. The inflections made sense, but the pacing felt a little flat and it was less clear you were communicating directly to someone.

  • #82973
    ShellyMadison
    Participant

    Gathering some more feedback leading up to a coaching session so any insights are appreciated! Still not in need of technical feedback because just recording on Voice Memo on my phone (don’t you worry my tech savvy friends, that day will come 😀 )

    Thanks in advance!

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  • #82969
    autobuffyservices
    Participant

    Shock Absorber Parts | Best Rear/Front Car Shock Absorbers | Enjoy a smooth ride with AutoBuffy. If your auto needs a new front or rear shock absorber, place an order with us. We have a wide selection of great Shock Absorber Parts available to buy now.

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  • #82965
    NuZe
    Participant

    Hello just looking for feedback on my scripts

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    • #82994
      jnamar
      Participant

      Hi Nuze,
      I listen to the nike ad. You sounded clear and easy to listen. I really like how you ended. I think I would also like to hear this again but with the same tone/attitude like how mentioned the brand at the end.

  • #82964
    Artist7
    Participant

    Thanks for listening, aemanimate! I appreciate your helpful feedback!

  • #82959
    aemanimate
    Participant

    Would love any kind of feedback!

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    • #82996
      jnamar
      Participant

      Hi Aemanimate,
      I listen to both of your recordings and I can’t help to think that as of now your niche can be in medical, education or instructions vo. The anaconda read needed to sound like your narrating with emotion for example when you say squeezes you can elongate the word squeeezes. Just my humble opinion. Take care!

    • #82963
      Artist7
      Participant

      Hello! Both of your reads sound great! The only feedback I have is for “Swan-Ganz.” The words “is” “to” and “present” all seem to run together. I would slow down the pace just a bit in order to pronounce them each distinctly.

  • #82949
    Artist7
    Participant

    Hello-I’ve uploaded two practice scripts, I’d really appreciate some feedback on pace and whether the reads sound conversational. Thanks in advance!

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    • #82962
      aemanimate
      Participant

      Hi!

      4 kids TV was great! Sounded like an actual commercial

      The Advil one just needs a little tweaking on the delivery. When you say or longer lasting than “Advil” Change the tone in the way you say Advil.

      • #83183
        Earthbul
        Participant

        I agree on the 4 kids spot. Although I felt it could have had more “smile” on it. As for the Advil spot i 110% on the tone. It threw me off a bit as well. The pauses should be tightened up as well. I enjoy the sound of your voice and your inflections. Keep em coming !

  • #82944
    RGK3
    Participant

    Hello all:

    I’d appreciate any feedback on the reads attached, particularly concerning the flow.

    Thanks!

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    • #82978
      ShellyMadison
      Participant

      These are great choices for your voice profile. Your diction is very good and doesn’t sound overly stilted. I’d suggest for Gillette finding some variety in your phrasing and ways to connect phrases. Paraphrased example: “3 mounted blades to adjust for every curve, PLUS….AND a strip of aloe.” This is a list and should be phrased as commas rather than periods. Currently they are three separate statements with all the same weight and tone. These are the selling points of the ad so find what’s indivually interesting about each feature but string them together since they’re all talking about one product. Your tag “Gillette the best a man can get” is very strong.

      Your opening list in Vanguard has a lot of nice variation and suits the tone of the product very well (sincere, reliable, authoritative). Just to play with the read, maybe see how it feels for that opening list to read like commas rather than periods. I don’t mean to use up talk necessarily, but let your tone indicate there is more to come with the first two and give that period in your voice for the third.

      great work

      • #83037
        RGK3
        Participant

        Thank you for the thoughtful feedback.

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