[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 days, 20 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 days, 20 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 days, 20 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 days, 22 hours ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Mike_Control]

Man, I swear copywriters should take their scripts and go beta-test them to a random person on the street to see if it sounds normal.

Anyway, here are two commercial scripts. If you listen to them, let me know if the ending of the MILK ad sounds natural. If I sound conversational, the ending slogan sounds less punchy; however, if I really lean into the pitch, then it doesn’t sound normal.

Thoughts?

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[weiss-richmond]

What I notice with the Milk read is that every word is really clear, but that in certain cases that clarity seems to be coming at the expense of flow. My hunch is that if you were to do a couple reads where you trust that all of this good work will show up, but throw it away a bit more, you might get a version of the whole thing that feels a little easier and more fluid. I think that goes for the ending slogan as well. I hope that’s helpful.

[montereichert]

Hello all. I just wanted to see what you think of my recoding below. I was in response to an audition request.

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[Earthbul]

It sounded pretty stilted to me. The emphasis on certain words felt a little off.

[montereichert]

Thank you so much for your feedback. Yes. I can see that now. I was trying for a over confident and some what arrogant tone, as this was suppose to come from a corporate president. But I lost the natural sounding part. I’ll fix that. Thanks again!

[RCampos]

Hi Voice Over Artists,
I would much appreciate your feedback on this VO. I don’t have a pro setup, so don’t need any technical feedback. I’m mainly working on a conversational delivery, working on a consistent tone while still varying the pitch. I welcome your thoughts.

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[Jaljr]

Hey…
Thanks for the feedback on my reads the other day.
This AIG read was good and conversational. I agree with the earthbul that all of your phrasing seemed to tend upward. Some variation by letting some of the phrasing “roll off” might help the read

[RCampos]

Thanks very much for listening! I’ll work on the phrasing as you suggest. Not exactly what you mean by “roll off” though…
All the best,
Robert

[Earthbul]

Everything seemed to end on an upswing. I didn’t hear much inflection throughout the read.
Sounded to positive considering you’re talking about folks going though some really tough times.

[RCampos]

Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts. You make a good point about ending on an upswing. I’ll work on that – and on adding more inflection. Also good to more carefully reflect the “tough times.” Very helpful feedback and I really appreciate it.

[annarobbins]

Hi everyone! I would appreciate some feedback on my read of this children’s education narration script! My home studio is not fully set up yet so the audio isn’t the best. I’m so sorry about that! Thanks in advance.

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[weiss-richmond]

Hi Anna, I agree with Robert overall. Two details I noticed: it feels like it would be possible to connect the thought of “dogs aren’t catching these cats” to the previous sentence a bit more. And, with regard to the copy, the cheetah section begins with a sentence, but the snow leopard section begins with you giving the title ‘snow leopard’ beforehand. I wonder if you could give us the transition into a new cat *on* the words “snow leopards” at the start of their section, without the title?

[RCampos]

Hi Anna, Your read is lively, entertaining, and has lots of variation and expression. My only critique is that at times I feel like you’re “punching” more than you might need to – like you’re addressing a classroom rather than an individual. Is this how you would say it to a six-year-old kid who’s sitting next to you on the couch? The word “cars” stands out for me as having a lot of emphasis. But overall, I think your voice and style fit this genre very nicely. Great job. If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!
Robert

[DillonP]

I have gotten two new reads done, an new narration and an old commercial that I did a long time ago. Please give me some feedback and let me know if there’s anything I can do to improve my reads.

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[RCampos]

Hi Dillon,
You have quite a range, as evidenced by these two very different reads. I like the air of mystery you create in the History VO. You draw us in and make us curious about this underwater wreck. Your hushed tone, while intriguing, sometimes makes picking out some words a bit challenging: “the” bleeds into “German sea” so that I wasn’t sure at first if you said “a German sea” or “the German sea.” Other words that are a little tricky: “rumors,” and “is intrigued.” Perhaps if you brought back a little bit more energy these words will pop out more. You have a fun read with lots of energy in Crayola Color Markers. My only critique on that one is on a couple of words: the “n” in “only” is a little hard to hear, and in the word “creativity” I don’t hear the differentiation between the “e” and the “a.” Nice work. I enjoyed listening to your voice overs. If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!

[Jaljr]

Hey, folks –

Here are a couple of lightly edited commercial reads for an upcoming coaching session. I welcome your comments and feedback.

JAL

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[RCampos]

Jack Daniels – love this read – sounds like the real deal! Your tone and style fit the VO so well. You’ve got me hooked with the feel of Lynchburg and the feel of the streets. Just a suggestion, wondering if you could use a very slight pauses after “just as he did” and “don’t ever plan to stop” – something to mimic the leisurely feel of the streets. Same goes for the last few words: “smooth, sippin, Tennessee whiskey.” I feel like these could slow down a tiny tiny bit, to savor the brew.

First State – your mature voice delivers on trust and security, something banks desperately need today! My only critique is that you have a little warble in your voice on the words “everyone” and “rely.” While that folksiness works very well for Jack Daniels, I don’t think you need it for the bank VO.
Great stuff all around. I think both these companies would want to have you do their Vo’s. Best of luck! If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!

[billmull]

I would love any feedback.

I’m aware that I have some breathing sounds in some of the pauses but I chose to leave those in.

Thanks

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[Earthbul]

I’m hearing alot of sibilance in this. I like the sound of your voice. But this not the copy to showcase it. You sound detached from the basketball lines if that makes sense. Any copy I read I always try to find some attachment to it. To relate it to my own personal experience. I’d love to hear some other copy that really resonates with you.

[billmull]

Thanks for the response.

Your feedback is very perceptive. Truth be told, I did not feel very good copy connection to the script, but I decided to take a shot at it anyway to see if I could pull it off (which obviously I didn’t). A lesson which I continue to learn about VO is that you can’t fake it. We have to believe what we’re saying or the listeners will be able to tell.

You’re the second person who has told me that they hear sibilance in my reads, so I’ve gotten a hold of a de-esser which I plan to start applying to my audio recordings.

[Earthbul]

Yeah, it’s difficult finding our niche. I still attempt reads that I know I’m not geared for. It’s good practice. As for the sibilance it’s a b***h lol I’ve been messing mith my settings all weekend as well as playing with the de-esser and de-clicker that I just installed on Audacity. Which daw do you use ?

[Earthbul]

Took Alex S’s advice and lengthened the pauses slightly. Also cleaned up the clicks and mouth noises as much
as Audacity allows. I also bumped up the volume of the music bed. Any comments or critiques welcomed.

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[RCampos]

I like this read very much. I’ve produced quite a few television specials for Discovery and other channels, and your style, I think, fits many of those shows very well. Here are a couple of notes.
I hear a couple of rapid shifts in your voice, almost like cracks, in the words “day” and “across.” I saw in your notes that you have been working with settings in Audacity. I’m wondering if that has boosted sibilance on these words: grass, some, months, grasslands, abundance. Having said that, you do an excellent job, and I also appreciated your feedback on my AIG VO. If you’re going to be around on the Forum I would welcome your thoughts on my future uploads. Thank you!

[billmull]

I’m having trouble finding anything not to like about this read.

Not sure if you know this or not but there is a free de-clicking plug-in you can download for audacity. Search on “de-clicker plugin audacity” and you’ll find it.

[Earthbul]

Thanks Bill. I did apply the de-clicker to this one. It eliminated most of them except for a couple of stubborn ones.

[billmull]

I didn’t notice mouth noises or clicks on your recording.

Not to beat this into the ground, but de-clicker that comes by default with Audacity is not considered to be that great. The plugin I’m referring to is considered to be much better. If this is what you used then please ignore me.

[billmull]

Happy Sunday!

Please no feedback on technical recording quality. Otherwise, I welcome any feedback.

Thank you

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[vlwalinski]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting to the Feedback Forum. I’m in the one-on-one coaching process for narration and commercials. I’m new to VO so any feedback on these two reads would be great! Thank you for your time!
-Veronica

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[Jaljr]

Hey, Veronica –

Welcome aboard! those were good reads, especially the Phonics . I agree that you should read that one with a big smile. You have a good voice. I look forward to hearing more.

JAL

[billmull]

Hi

Very nice for your first efforts on the feedback forum! (Also, welcome to VO!)

For both reads I suggest that you make sure to smile while reading. I suggest an especially big smile for HookedOnPhonics since its related to something for children.

Technically, keep in mind that when you export an audio file as an MP3 you are getting a compressed version of the full digital recording. So you need to make sure to leave about 2 seconds of dead air at the very start and very end of the original audio file. Otherwise either the very start or the very end of the speaking will get cut off in the MP3. This is what happened at the end of AmericanAirlines.

Keep up the good work.

[Author]

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