[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Nikka Kowidge]

Hello voiceover actors, here’s a commercial read I’m working on. please feel free to give any feedback besides technical. Specifically, I am still working on glottal stops as well as conversational read. Does it sound like I am talking to my friend?

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[kburman]

Hello Nikka,

It sounded very conversational. I like the pace. Just a few tweaks as felt like there were two pauses that I would leave out. between Revlon and High and after gently protect. Those slight changes and Red heads will want the product. Nice work!

[Debbie]

Hi Nikka! Great read, you have a really nice tone. There are some moments in the copy where you could be more conversational. I find that making the effort to keep smiling through the read (even when it feels super weird) helps a lot for me, so that may be something to try if you haven’t already.

[jnamar]

Hi Nikka, I like your voice and delivery sounds young and lively. If you want try for a more sassy read. Usually these hair-dye commercials have some of that. This attitude might help the glottal stops. Good luck!

[tmanning.tix]

Greetings all.. Posting here per my instructor. My first recording. Just getting started using the editing software as well. Feedback is very welcomed. Improvement is always possible.

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[Bruce Kramer]

I agree with Nikka that your tone and voice quality are a good fit for this topic. And I also agree you can slow down. In particular, when the script discusses some of the specific things that he enjoyed in Montana (mountains, rivers…), you can take a moment to really visualize them in your mind, and then voice it. That will help you deepen your connection to the script.

[Nikka Kowidge]

I love this read! Your tone and voice quality hit the mark for the subject. In my opinion, you can slow down a little bit at the beginning and give us a little more around some choice words like Nirvana. The second half of the read included your really good emphasis on those types of important and playful words. I also likes that you slowed down the pace a bit in the second half which allowed me to really listen to the content. Great annunciation and emphasis on the final line. This is the story of Hemingway.

[montereichert]

Hello again wonderful people. Please comment and/or critique. Thanks!

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[jnamar]

Hi! I like your delivery, it sounds like a radio commercial, sounds professional. However, I think it would be good if you made emphasis on ‘in person’ and in ‘grammy nominated singer and actress’ to just glide on that. Overall is pretty good! Wish you the best!

[Earthbul]

Comments and critiques are welcomed.

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[Tim Kraft]

Love this read – is it a booked job?

Currently doing some coaching in promo reads, and to me you NAIL this. Lots of energy but respects that fine line between ‘going big” and “over the top”.

Thanks for the inspiration!

[Mike_Control]

Man, I swear copywriters should take their scripts and go beta-test them to a random person on the street to see if it sounds normal.

Anyway, here are two commercial scripts. If you listen to them, let me know if the ending of the MILK ad sounds natural. If I sound conversational, the ending slogan sounds less punchy; however, if I really lean into the pitch, then it doesn’t sound normal.

Thoughts?

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[weiss-richmond]

What I notice with the Milk read is that every word is really clear, but that in certain cases that clarity seems to be coming at the expense of flow. My hunch is that if you were to do a couple reads where you trust that all of this good work will show up, but throw it away a bit more, you might get a version of the whole thing that feels a little easier and more fluid. I think that goes for the ending slogan as well. I hope that’s helpful.

[montereichert]

Hello all. I just wanted to see what you think of my recoding below. I was in response to an audition request.

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[Earthbul]

It sounded pretty stilted to me. The emphasis on certain words felt a little off.

[montereichert]

Thank you so much for your feedback. Yes. I can see that now. I was trying for a over confident and some what arrogant tone, as this was suppose to come from a corporate president. But I lost the natural sounding part. I’ll fix that. Thanks again!

[RCampos]

Hi Voice Over Artists,
I would much appreciate your feedback on this VO. I don’t have a pro setup, so don’t need any technical feedback. I’m mainly working on a conversational delivery, working on a consistent tone while still varying the pitch. I welcome your thoughts.

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[Jaljr]

Hey…
Thanks for the feedback on my reads the other day.
This AIG read was good and conversational. I agree with the earthbul that all of your phrasing seemed to tend upward. Some variation by letting some of the phrasing “roll off” might help the read

[RCampos]

Thanks very much for listening! I’ll work on the phrasing as you suggest. Not exactly what you mean by “roll off” though…
All the best,
Robert

[Earthbul]

Everything seemed to end on an upswing. I didn’t hear much inflection throughout the read.
Sounded to positive considering you’re talking about folks going though some really tough times.

[RCampos]

Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts. You make a good point about ending on an upswing. I’ll work on that – and on adding more inflection. Also good to more carefully reflect the “tough times.” Very helpful feedback and I really appreciate it.

[annarobbins]

Hi everyone! I would appreciate some feedback on my read of this children’s education narration script! My home studio is not fully set up yet so the audio isn’t the best. I’m so sorry about that! Thanks in advance.

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[weiss-richmond]

Hi Anna, I agree with Robert overall. Two details I noticed: it feels like it would be possible to connect the thought of “dogs aren’t catching these cats” to the previous sentence a bit more. And, with regard to the copy, the cheetah section begins with a sentence, but the snow leopard section begins with you giving the title ‘snow leopard’ beforehand. I wonder if you could give us the transition into a new cat *on* the words “snow leopards” at the start of their section, without the title?

[RCampos]

Hi Anna, Your read is lively, entertaining, and has lots of variation and expression. My only critique is that at times I feel like you’re “punching” more than you might need to – like you’re addressing a classroom rather than an individual. Is this how you would say it to a six-year-old kid who’s sitting next to you on the couch? The word “cars” stands out for me as having a lot of emphasis. But overall, I think your voice and style fit this genre very nicely. Great job. If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!
Robert

[DillonP]

I have gotten two new reads done, an new narration and an old commercial that I did a long time ago. Please give me some feedback and let me know if there’s anything I can do to improve my reads.

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[RCampos]

Hi Dillon,
You have quite a range, as evidenced by these two very different reads. I like the air of mystery you create in the History VO. You draw us in and make us curious about this underwater wreck. Your hushed tone, while intriguing, sometimes makes picking out some words a bit challenging: “the” bleeds into “German sea” so that I wasn’t sure at first if you said “a German sea” or “the German sea.” Other words that are a little tricky: “rumors,” and “is intrigued.” Perhaps if you brought back a little bit more energy these words will pop out more. You have a fun read with lots of energy in Crayola Color Markers. My only critique on that one is on a couple of words: the “n” in “only” is a little hard to hear, and in the word “creativity” I don’t hear the differentiation between the “e” and the “a.” Nice work. I enjoyed listening to your voice overs. If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!

[Jaljr]

Hey, folks –

Here are a couple of lightly edited commercial reads for an upcoming coaching session. I welcome your comments and feedback.

JAL

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[RCampos]

Jack Daniels – love this read – sounds like the real deal! Your tone and style fit the VO so well. You’ve got me hooked with the feel of Lynchburg and the feel of the streets. Just a suggestion, wondering if you could use a very slight pauses after “just as he did” and “don’t ever plan to stop” – something to mimic the leisurely feel of the streets. Same goes for the last few words: “smooth, sippin, Tennessee whiskey.” I feel like these could slow down a tiny tiny bit, to savor the brew.

First State – your mature voice delivers on trust and security, something banks desperately need today! My only critique is that you have a little warble in your voice on the words “everyone” and “rely.” While that folksiness works very well for Jack Daniels, I don’t think you need it for the bank VO.
Great stuff all around. I think both these companies would want to have you do their Vo’s. Best of luck! If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your thoughts on a VO I just uploaded, called AIG. Thanks!

[Author]

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