I agree with Jade that silencing the background noise would be helpful and will help not take away from your read. Outside of that, who is your audience/who are you talking to? I’ve found that having a person/people in mind helps make the read more conversational and less like reading a script. Hope that’s helpful!
You may not be looking for technical feedback, but it would be beneficial to silence the background noise (maybe it’s a fan or heater?), so we can all hear your lovely voice a bit more clearly.
Other things I noticed, be sure to enunciate the sounds at the end of words, like the “d” on “send,” even if gently. Your “p” words seemed a bit overenunciated at the top, with lots of hard popping on the P’s. A pop filter may help, but I think it could be improved with small adjustments to your lips when mouthing them.
“Congratulations on winning the election and leading our country to greatness, Mr. President. You know, I got you elected so I could get the weapon’s contract.
I don’t know if it slipped your mind, but I’m through being patient with you. I will expose you as the fraud that you’ve always been.”
I’m not sure of the category this fits in, but the pacing I thought was done well. I would soften the emphasis on the word “I”, especially the first one (“I got you elected). It sounds a bit forced. Great variations with pace and tone.
“Coronavirus is a dangerous disease that spreads quickly and threatens the most vulnerable in our communities. People with conditions like serious heart disease, chronic kidney disease, asthma, diabetes and people treated for cancer are most likely to become seriously ill. So clean your hands often for at least 20 seconds. And if you can’t use soap and water, use hand sanitizer. Stay at least six feet, about two arm lengths, away from other people. And when around others, cover your mouth and nose with a cloth covering. Protect the circle of life. Protect yourself, your families and our coronavirus communities. Wishing you all good health and thank you. This message was brought to you by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Visit CDC.gov for more information.”
Liked it. Thought it was a nice slow, fairly even, sincere and natural read. There was one little segment where you said “If you can’t” which got a bit jammed together losing some intelligibility. At some point, you’ll likely need to upgrade your recording gear but the read is more important for me. Nice vocal tone as well.
Nice commercial read. Is this meant to be a radio spot? If not, I would slow down the pace a little bit so that the listener can really hear what you are saying. Also, who is your audience/who are you speaking to? Having that in mind may help make the read a bit more conversational.
There is a lot to like about this audio. You can do some amazing things with your voice, and I think this could make for a fabulous commercial demo!
I think there is room for improvement on the second script of your diction of the client name, i.e. Amstel Light. It doesn’t come through as entirely clear.
Also, my understanding of commercial demos is that they tend to be short, usually about a minute long. So this audio in its entirety would be considered long for such a demo. You might consider pairing it down a bit.
Note that one line of the “partnership” script reads “Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs)”. So ADUs is not a separate item in the list but is simply the acronym for “Accessory Dwelling Units” so I tried to read it with same style and pitch.
Thanks
Thanks,
This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by billmull.
Hello everyone,
I’m doing my best at the moment to practice as much as possible, trying to tackle different genres and themes. I’d really love to hear from people who don’t know me to help me move forward so please feel free to share your opinions and advice. Even if it’s mainly in French (I’m French), you can still feel if it sounds technically ok, if something strikes you. The English parts are mostly there to offer an extra possibility. I’ve posted the demos on Youtube with illustrations, so if you feel like watching the whole thing on video… Thanks a lot!
https://www.youtube.com/@squerel
This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by squerel.
For some reason, it seems that my mp3 files cannot be uploaded here, I’ve been trying several times though but there’s always a error message. so I hope you’ll be able to watch them on YT.
Tell me if I missed something! Sorry about that and thank you!
Trying out some characters reads with the last one “tollbooth” specifically being a try at some audiobook copy. All done with voice memo on my phone, so not currently looking for technical feedback, but any and all comments/critiques as far as tone, emotion, pacing, diction, etc welcomed!
On Sesame Street: Your voice is great for this! You seemed to stumble/speed up a bit too much on “US Department of Education.” And where you say “and viewers like you” it sounds more like “and *TO* viewers like you.” Overall, slow it down a bit and don’t be afraid to take a breath– my coach is always telling me this, too, which is why I’m catching it lol.