Hi! Welcome to the forum! Just my 2 cents: your reads need to be smoothed out. There was a lot of pauses throughout the read. You’ll definitely want to smooth those out to sound nice and natural. Make sure you sound like you are talking rather than reading as it will make your script sound much better. I would try reading some books or articles and just focus on reading smoothly without those long pauses. Good luck on your journey I wish you well!
Hello! Thank you so much for previous feedback! I’m working towards my commercial demo. Here are two sample reads. I appreciate any feedback you would like to provide. Thanks again!
Nikka, Great voice and tone. In the Dupixent ad, I felt your pronunciation of “Dupixent” was a bit harsh. A smoother pronunciation to make it more appealing would be my suggestion. Of course, the advertiser will be listening for that too. The second ad for Loreal seemed more natural. The tone and pace are good. In the phase, “the original brush separates every lash,” I would read “lash” more smoothly. I might also emphasize a bit more the phrase “American’s number one masacara.” Overall, I hear your voice and delivery as very good, but would be even better by smoothing out words that you emphasize.
I work in pharma and we have such a difficult time with audio ads. I thought the Dupixent ad was great because you sound like someone a person would really be talking to.
Hey Talia, loved your voice on both reads, as they both sound very welcoming and engaging throughout. I was expecting the documentary to sound a little more low energy than the explainer, but the way you read it also sounded phenomenal.
The only thing that stood out to me as odd was in the explainer read. Toward the end, it sounded like there was an awkward pause between “Select the” and “Add a new account…”
It has been some time but I finally got done editing the latest reads. Both Narration and Commercial. Please listen and give feedback please, Thank you.
I like your voice Dillon- clear and easy to listen to. I agree with the other commenter to just slow down a touch on “ESPN” so that each letter is clearly enunciated. Sounds great!
Hi! I think you sounded great on your reads. As for the ESPN read I would slow down when you say the word “ESPN.” It was a little rushed and crammed together as you read over it, remember the brand name should be all nice and pretty when you go through the read. I would also say the same for your Creativity read. Overall it was a good read with a nice pace, but the word “creativity” was ran through too fast. Slow down just a bit and I think you’ll do great!
A big thank you to everyone participating in this Forum. I learn so much each time I listen to your Posts and read your feedback.
Would you weigh in on my reads? Are you hearing any difference between each of the Trader Joe’s/ TJ’s reads? How about the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America/AAFA reads? Any and all feedback is appreciated.
Also, I just realized I hadn’t answered your specific question regarding whether a difference between the TJ’s reads was noticed. I liked the overall sound of your voice on the v2 one- felt a little “lighter” and more cheerful to me. The first comment I left on this thread was in reference to the initial version of the Trader Joe’s script. Just FYI 🙂
This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Michele Martin.
Hi BJ- I thought the Allergy and Asthma Foundation read was spot on. Your voice has a knowledgeable and trustworthy sound to me, like a smart and warm doctor with appealing bedside manner. I especially enjoy how you utilize emphasis, pitch and tone in all your reads. It seems like you have an intuitive sense of what needs to be emphasized without it feeling like you’re trying too hard, and your placement always feels just right to me. Only edit tweek I might consider would be to reduce certain pauses. I noticed one before “and” somewhere and in another spot I don’t recall without listening again, but that’s it!
Hi BJ! On Trader Joe’s, I loved “Who wants to wait that long? Not you” It gave me a chuckle. I thought you did a perfect job infusing it with a hint of humor and familiarity and I enjoyed your interpretation of the entire script: pace, tone, emphasis and intonation felt just right to me, with nothing under or overdone IMO. The only observation I have that might or might not be “accurate” (I sometimes can’t tell if some things are subjective, personal preferences and not “right or wrong”), is that the read felt just a tiny bit tense or formal, as if you were preforming it- for example on a theatre stage instead for a movie, if that makes sense. Subtle and maybe not an accurate observation on my part. I’d be curious if you or others get that vibe or perhaps not.
Hi all! Heading into another private coaching session and would love some help with my homework. I’m naturally a fast talker in life and am having some trouble slowing down in my reads without the tone getting too presentational because of it, since what feels “conversational” to me is usually too fast. Any advice welcome, thanks!
(Some upload errors– there is a duplicate of the Pet Adoption file, it’s not two different takes. The Apple file is a lower export quality because for some reason the Forum won’t let me upload my preferred export quality eve though it’s under the file size limit. So not too worried about sound quality there. Mostly looking for creative/performance help!)
This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by annellakaine.
This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by annellakaine.
Hi – Being from NJ, I definitely understand the talking fast thing:). I think the pace of your individual sentences is good. The only place you may want to slow down is on the sentence that includes “so this is an important decision,” just so you’re giving the listener/viewer a chance for it to sink in. Also, consider cutting down a bit on the pause between your first and second sentences. I really like the smile I hear in your voice when you say “puppy kindergarten and teaching your dog tricks.” Nice job.
Hi – I needed Crazy Uncle today. You made me laugh out loud! I really like how you transitioned from a scary laugh to a more light-hearted one. It reinforced that you were kidding around. You were kidding, right? 🙂 If not, I need a shot of Tennessee Whiskey! Nice tone and pacing. The last word in each of your first three sentences gets a bit lost. I’d like to hear a version of this where you give it a more gritty read.
Hi HMW- love your voice! To me, it feels “cool” and wise at the same time. On Tennessee Whiskey- I think that in “law unabidin’”, the “un” syllable could use the emphasis in order to differentiate it from “law abidin”. That’s all I got! Really enjoyed your read and thought your voice was a great for it.
My homework from my last coaching session was to post several scripts for feedback as I nervously inch closer to making a demo. Any and all feedback on any of these will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!