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  • #57410

    VO Commercial Practice! All feedback, especially performance is welcome.

    Script:
    Choices. You are the worst. This or that. This or that. Why must we always choose? Greatness wouldn’t choose. Greatness wants it all. With pizza Hut’s big dinner box you can have it all. Get 2 medium 1 topping pizzas plus breadsticks plus your choice of wings, rollers, or pasta. Or now skip the sides and get a third pizza all for only 19.99. Or ask for any traditional crust for 10. Looks like you can have it all. So load up that plate as hard as you can friend-o. Go for greatness people. Pizza Hut. Make it great.

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    • #57434
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi mrchaseatherton! I liked the read and decisiveness in your voice, seems well suited for this commercial. Good pace and clarity in the read. I think for the second “this or that” it could be read to emphasize “that” with a downward tone (so it does not sound like a question) instead of reading the same as you did in the first this or that, just to make it stand out a little more. Other than that, very good.

  • #57407
    docr15
    Participant

    Here’s my last homework assignment for this week. Thanks for everyone’s comments.

    Commercial – Kids – Legos
    My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that someday he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

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    • #57450
      docr15
      Participant

      Oops! Thanks for letting me know. Here is the Lego recording.

      Commercial – Kids – Legos
      My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that someday he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

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      • #57512
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Nice read! I really like this!

      • #57506
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I like it so far. Good job

    • #57428
      kfvoice
      Participant

      docr15 — you have the On Demand reel uploaded for your Lego feedback. Looking forward to hearing the read when you have it up!

  • #57405
    docr15
    Participant

    Here’s another of my homework assignments. Thanks again for all your comments!

    Motel 6
    Whether you live for a good ride or ride to live a little more. Everyone can agree on Motel 6 where you always save more for whatever you travel for. Like the open road. Book online at motel6.com.

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    • #57435
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Docr15 – I really liked the warmth in your voice, seemed very natural and fitting for this commercial. The end of the first sentence finished as if a question instead of a period (I do this as well for some unknown reason). Good solid read!

  • #57403
    docr15
    Participant

    Hey there everyone. Posting some homework for your critique. Thanks for any and all comments.

    On Demand
    Some people think that pressing their On Demand button will make their house explode. The On Demand button is a way to access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more….The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.

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    • #57439
      mravenel
      Participant

      Great tone, great read, great sound… you nailed it!

    • #57436
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Docr15 – great read and very well suited for your voice. Very warm and helpful tone. Good read!

    • #57429
      kfvoice
      Participant

      docr15 — your voice fits this commercial very well. Some feedback: perhaps tighten your words up a bit between, “access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more.” The pause for effect after this line works, but maybe change you tone slightly with, “The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.“?

  • #57381
    mravenel
    Participant

    Hey all just looking for constructive criticism Thanks;

    Advil
    Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.

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    • #57424
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Mravenel – your voice sounds good for this type of commercial; I feel like I have heard it before. The pace was good but it seemed to speed up a little at the end right before the last sentence, I think I was just expecting a tiny pause for a little more emphasis. Good read!

      • #57438
        mravenel
        Participant

        I think I edited out a breath before the last sentence that made it go a little closer together… good call in a little more spacing for emphasis.

    • #57389
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Hi mravenel,
      Comment: I’m glad you know what you aiming for, being a commercial V.O. You were convincing when saying “Muscle aches?”, it draws the audience’s attention. I’m also glad there were no static or background noises in this performance.
      Critique: I think you can do better than what you posted. Right after you asked about muscle aches, I heard your voice get very nasal as you repeatedly said, Advil, sounding first like “A-vil” and “Ad-vil”, as if it was 2 words. So, maybe work on saying “Advil”, in 2 parts, but not two words. Were you aiming for the nasality in the read?
      hope my critique was helpful,
      -SL

      • #57437
        mravenel
        Participant

        Thanks yeah great catch now I hear the advil as a little nasally and not as articulate as could be. Thanks for the feedback

  • #57364
    Robert Broussard
    Participant

    Ford Practice
    Ford F Series Pickups
    It’s easy to see why Ford has the top selling pickup truck in America. Because, when you look into a Ford, you’ll find innovation, attention to details, and exceptional value – qualities that have made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.

    With this kind of success, the next thing you’ll see when you look into a Ford pickup might just be yourself. Have you driven a Ford lately?

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    • #57426
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Nice read! Your voice fits the commercial! Although, did you edit to omit the word “the”? (“made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.”)

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by kfvoice.
      • #57430
        Robert Broussard
        Participant

        I sure did. Thanks for pointing that out. I will have to proof better.

    • #57375
      waninick
      Participant

      Robert, a couple of thoughts:
      This is a commercial for a pickup. Might want a different sound bed.
      The voice is Perfect for this material, but seems quite clipped and distorted to me. Might be a bit hot on the mic.
      Those two things aside, Great Read…! A little slower pace, and you won’t need so much music to make it to 30 secs. But, the voice, diction, and overall interpretation is perfect for this piece. Nice job.

      • #57390
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Robert, I enjoy the innovative music and the southern accent in your vocal delivery. Great job!

      • #57379
        Robert Broussard
        Participant

        Thanks for the comments. I do have the voice clipping some. I am using Audacity and Shure SM7b mic.

  • #57360
    CYeschenko
    Participant

    Continued practice; all comments are appreciated, especially regarding my performance. Thanks!

    Legend Airlines

    We’re not a four-star restaurant, but we do serve peppercorn-crusted beef tenderloin in a rich port sauce. We’re not a furniture store, but we do offer an impressive collection of leather recliners. We’re not a luxury hotel, but we do provide valet parking. We’re not an Internet Service Provider, but we do guarantee immediate Internet access. We’re not a movie theater complex, but we do have 56 screens with surround sound. …We’re not what you think….We’re Legend Airlines

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    • #57423
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Cyeschenko – very nice and warm read. You have a good calm tone, and it made me curious to know more about Legend Airlines. Good pauses between thoughts and appropriate phrasing – good job!

    • #57383
      mravenel
      Participant

      Hey great read pacing was nice, interpretation of the copy was on point only criticism I have is the sound quality could be a little better, but you made me want to travel again. 😉

      • #57391
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Good recording quality and performance. I like how you are relaxed and calm as you perform this commercial. It sounded so delicious it made me hungry!

  • #57350
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Good day good day! Here is my daily upload. Any feedback is appreciated.

    Purina One
    Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.

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    • #57494
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Thanks you guys 🙂

    • #57422
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyndawnvo! I liked the read, very clear and warm and sounded like you smiled through some of it, which in turn made me smile. Very good fit for your voice!

    • #57366
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I like that your voice is a perfect fit for that nice smooth and clear. Delivery and tone was good.

    • #57358
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Nice work! Your voice fits the copy well and tone wise, you’re in the pocket. Only note would be that “good news for your cat” was a bit louder/more stressed than the canary line, which brings the joke home. If you do the first bit as more of an offhand comment and then lean into the canary line just a fraction more, it will come across even better!

  • #57346
    Robert Broussard
    Participant

    Trying some narration and mixing. Thanks for any feedback.

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    • #57349
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Beautiful work. Your voice is like American honey. I love the way you mixed this with the song in the background. My thought on the performance was – it was great!! There was a consistent thing I noticed and I’m not sure if you are using a de-esser, or perhaps it is your mic or some setting, but your S’s sound a little bit dulled, almost lispy. I’m listening with my headphones. It would be nice to hear it done with a crisper capturing of your voice. But your performances was fantastic! Really beautiful work.

      • #57363
        Robert Broussard
        Participant

        I do have a de-sser working. I will try to tone it down. Thanks for the input. I have a sure sb7m mic. I might get me a condenser mic soon.

        • #57393
          SuperLuke
          Participant

          Great narration and music that fits the performance

  • #57344
    Robert Broussard
    Participant

    Trying mixing with commercial. Thanks for any feedback.

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    • #57359
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      !! Great work! The balance between the music and your vocals is exactly what it needs to be, and your read was near perfect. You understood exactly what the copy was portraying and it fits the target audience %100! At the very end, the music does end abrubtly mid-note, but since this is a practice it’s something to take note of and perhaps find a way to fade out or finish the musical phrase (if its not too long) to have a solid finish to the commercial? It sounds almost as if there was another half second of that note that got cut off. Aside from that, keep up the great posts!

      • #57362
        Robert Broussard
        Participant

        Thanks, I am just getting into this music mixing and still have a lot to learn about it. I appreciate it.

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