Here’s another of my homework assignments. Thanks again for all your comments!
Motel 6
Whether you live for a good ride or ride to live a little more. Everyone can agree on Motel 6 where you always save more for whatever you travel for. Like the open road. Book online at motel6.com.
Hi Docr15 – I really liked the warmth in your voice, seemed very natural and fitting for this commercial. The end of the first sentence finished as if a question instead of a period (I do this as well for some unknown reason). Good solid read!
Hey there everyone. Posting some homework for your critique. Thanks for any and all comments.
On Demand
Some people think that pressing their On Demand button will make their house explode. The On Demand button is a way to access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more….The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.
docr15 — your voice fits this commercial very well. Some feedback: perhaps tighten your words up a bit between, “access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more.” The pause for effect after this line works, but maybe change you tone slightly with, “The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.“?
Hey all just looking for constructive criticism Thanks;
Advil
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.
Hi Mravenel – your voice sounds good for this type of commercial; I feel like I have heard it before. The pace was good but it seemed to speed up a little at the end right before the last sentence, I think I was just expecting a tiny pause for a little more emphasis. Good read!
Hi mravenel,
Comment: I’m glad you know what you aiming for, being a commercial V.O. You were convincing when saying “Muscle aches?”, it draws the audience’s attention. I’m also glad there were no static or background noises in this performance.
Critique: I think you can do better than what you posted. Right after you asked about muscle aches, I heard your voice get very nasal as you repeatedly said, Advil, sounding first like “A-vil” and “Ad-vil”, as if it was 2 words. So, maybe work on saying “Advil”, in 2 parts, but not two words. Were you aiming for the nasality in the read?
hope my critique was helpful,
-SL
Ford Practice
Ford F Series Pickups
It’s easy to see why Ford has the top selling pickup truck in America. Because, when you look into a Ford, you’ll find innovation, attention to details, and exceptional value – qualities that have made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.
With this kind of success, the next thing you’ll see when you look into a Ford pickup might just be yourself. Have you driven a Ford lately?
Nice read! Your voice fits the commercial! Although, did you edit to omit the word “the”? (“made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.”)
Robert, a couple of thoughts:
This is a commercial for a pickup. Might want a different sound bed.
The voice is Perfect for this material, but seems quite clipped and distorted to me. Might be a bit hot on the mic.
Those two things aside, Great Read…! A little slower pace, and you won’t need so much music to make it to 30 secs. But, the voice, diction, and overall interpretation is perfect for this piece. Nice job.
Continued practice; all comments are appreciated, especially regarding my performance. Thanks!
Legend Airlines
We’re not a four-star restaurant, but we do serve peppercorn-crusted beef tenderloin in a rich port sauce. We’re not a furniture store, but we do offer an impressive collection of leather recliners. We’re not a luxury hotel, but we do provide valet parking. We’re not an Internet Service Provider, but we do guarantee immediate Internet access. We’re not a movie theater complex, but we do have 56 screens with surround sound. …We’re not what you think….We’re Legend Airlines
Hi Cyeschenko – very nice and warm read. You have a good calm tone, and it made me curious to know more about Legend Airlines. Good pauses between thoughts and appropriate phrasing – good job!
Hey great read pacing was nice, interpretation of the copy was on point only criticism I have is the sound quality could be a little better, but you made me want to travel again. 😉
Good day good day! Here is my daily upload. Any feedback is appreciated.
Purina One
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.
Hi Katelyndawnvo! I liked the read, very clear and warm and sounded like you smiled through some of it, which in turn made me smile. Very good fit for your voice!
Nice work! Your voice fits the copy well and tone wise, you’re in the pocket. Only note would be that “good news for your cat” was a bit louder/more stressed than the canary line, which brings the joke home. If you do the first bit as more of an offhand comment and then lean into the canary line just a fraction more, it will come across even better!
Beautiful work. Your voice is like American honey. I love the way you mixed this with the song in the background. My thought on the performance was – it was great!! There was a consistent thing I noticed and I’m not sure if you are using a de-esser, or perhaps it is your mic or some setting, but your S’s sound a little bit dulled, almost lispy. I’m listening with my headphones. It would be nice to hear it done with a crisper capturing of your voice. But your performances was fantastic! Really beautiful work.
!! Great work! The balance between the music and your vocals is exactly what it needs to be, and your read was near perfect. You understood exactly what the copy was portraying and it fits the target audience %100! At the very end, the music does end abrubtly mid-note, but since this is a practice it’s something to take note of and perhaps find a way to fade out or finish the musical phrase (if its not too long) to have a solid finish to the commercial? It sounds almost as if there was another half second of that note that got cut off. Aside from that, keep up the great posts!
Hey all! Trying some poetry since it’s totally the same thing as narration right? Right?
I know that some of my p’s pop, but other than that any and all feedback/criticism is extremely welcome.
On lowland plains I wander//All in the falling year,//By lowland valleys ponder//Upon my true love dear;//But spring will soon restore me//The smiles of Mary’s eye,//And the grand clouds flying o’er me//Upon the mountains high.
Within the lowland valley//There stands a castle strong,//Where round in each green alley//You’ll hear the wild bird’s song;//Far sweeter visions move me,//When I hear the eagle’s cry,//From the fields of G*d above me,//Upon the mountains high.
When autumn time is coming//Along the hills and dells,//You’ll hear the wild bees humming//Among the heather bells;//You’ll hear the g*y streams singing//Their songs to earth and sky,//Like the sounds of glad bells ringing//Upon the mountains high.
Amid their summits airy,//In sweet spring’s blessed reign,//I’ll sit beside my Mary//With happy heart again;//I have no wish beyond her,//And man can ne’er descry//Two youthful lovers fonder//Upon the mountain high.
Hi FCabral! I loved the tone in your voice and the pace of the read, it seems very well suited for poetry like this. On the 3rd verse it sounded like a few of the words ending with “ing” were said to not pronounce the “g” – comin’ vs. coming; hummin’ vs humming; singin’ vs. singing and ringin’ vs. ringing. It all rhymed with each other, but I wonder if it was intended to drop the g’s? Just something I noticed.
This sounded so cool. I can totally picture what you are saying. I can only imagine how it would sound with background music. A few ways to make this better could probably be watching the “s” sounds for sibilance and maybe editing out the mouth noises. However, I think you did a really great job with this poem.
Today was my first day trying Audacity, and I thought I would do something different besides reading narration scripts, and went for a promo read. All feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Promos and Trailers
Spotify Premium
Is this really what you want? Some guy cutting into your tunes trying to sell you something you really don’t care about. I didn’t think so. Try spotify premium. for only $9.99 a month you can get rid of me and anyone else who tries to interrupt your music.
KF, Nice voice, mostly good clear diction. Might want to add the ‘t’ on the end of ‘want’, and the word “didn’t” didn’t quite come out clean. Other than that, it just needs to be edited a bit tighter. Too much space between “care about” and “I didn’t think so.” A couple of other places as well. But the interpretation was really good! Nice Work..!
KF, I enjoy the performance. Good diction. Speed it up a little bit. I like your first recording better than the second. You sounded calmer and more like a real convincing commercial. Try aiming for 12 seconds, maybe?
About the two reels — they are the same one. I edited my post, and added it again, thinking it had to be uploaded again, too. (I wanted to edit my post to mention this, but after a couple of edits, it seems the forum doesn’t let you edit your posts. Or give the option to replace or delete a recording.)