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  • #57807
    christinesachsnyc
    Participant

    Hello! Here are two practice recordings of our 10 year old daughter. We were working on emotion and being more “in character.” Thank you for any feedback!

    BOT Character
    1. (angry) “Those jerks camped our spot again! C’mon, let’s get ’em!”
    2. (enthused) “You’re a freaking genius, Ryan! There’s no way we’ll lose!”
    3. (denial, fear, facing real danger) “No, no, no! This can’t be happening right now!”

    The Princess and the Frog
    The princess went to her room and laid down on her bed. The slimy frog jumped on the bed and said, “Now you must kiss me good night! “Yuck!”, thought the princes, she didn’t want to kiss an u**y old frog.

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    • #57832
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Christineachsnyc! Both readings sounded really good! In the first script there seemed to be a good display of emotion, and with the appropriate emphasis on the words. For the 3rd emotion, I’m not sure how it could be changed to show more fear; that one sounded a little more angry than scared. For the second script, the read was spot on, great variation in pitch and tone and very well suited for this type of read. Great job for both!
      Mary

  • #57798
    AlexisVO
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Here’s a script from Edge about Betty Crocker, it used to be under Narration/Biography so that was my interpretation of it. Please let me know what you think.

    Thanks!
    Alexis

    Script:
    Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt. She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion in which users completed a puzzle to win a pin cushion. Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker. The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.

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    • #57874
      aprildawn
      Participant

      Very nice and engaging delivery. Lot’s of personality and charm. You have a warm and velvety tone that fit perfectly for the Betty Crocker narration.

    • #57833
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Alexis! That was very good! I really liked the warmth in your voice and it felt like you were smiling through a large part of the script, which in turn made me smile. Very good tempo and nice variation in pitch throughout. Great read!
      Mary

    • #57810
      christinesachsnyc
      Participant

      Hi Alexis. This was really great. Thank you! The only thing I might explore is the perhaps play with the “liveliness” of the reading. Maybe have a bit more playful vibe to go with the warm and approachable?

  • #57792
    touzet
    Participant

    Gonna give the new feedback forum a try…
    The original VO on this Sandals track was likely a friend of mine who I set up with a database system to issue and track his VO invoices as well as run tax reports at the end of the year. Sadly, he passed away about a year or so ago. Super VO talent, artist, actor, musician. Anyway, I am giving this Sandals spot a whirl in his honor 😉

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    • #57834
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Touzet! I really liked your take on this commercial – you have a very warm and deep voice, and it seemed well-suited for this type of read when you want the listener to relax. I too am sorry about your friend. I think he would feel honored that you are honoring him.
      Mary

    • #57801
      AlexisVO
      Participant

      Hi Touzet, I’m sorry to hear about your friend. As for your read, I think you did a great job of capturing the vibe of the script and of a Sandals vacation. Nice pace and tone!
      –Alexis

      • #57813
        touzet
        Participant

        Found a link to Darryl Gilley’s Sandals VO on Voices dot com. The first clip on the reel is actually Sandals. There are a lot of cool bits from him hosted there if you go up a link – especially the sing-alikes. https://www.voices.com/demo_detail/26249

  • #57786
    AlexisVO
    Participant

    Hi all,
    This is my first post on the new site. I’m looking for feedback on performance, please.
    If you have any comments on the recording quality, feel free to leave them, but conditions weren’t ideal because the dryer was running while recording and that may have created some background noise. I took the script from the Edge library over the summer, not sure if it’s still there. It was found under English Adult > Narration > eLearning & Education
    Thanks! Alexis

    Script:
    Bank Employee Training Web Video

    When you first open a Client Interaction, you will be on the Identification Page. This is the default page
    for all client interactions. Please confirm
    the caller’s Social Security Number before continuing. Once confirmed, click the “next” button, like this.
    Great, now let’s move on to step-2.

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    • #57835
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Alexis! I liked this read – your voice was warm and the pace was very good. I did not hear background noise on my end, but I also do not have a fully set up studio just yet to potentially hear more of the background. Good read!
      Mary

    • #57811
      christinesachsnyc
      Participant

      Hi Alexis. I thought this was really great. Your voice really matched what I imagined I would be listening to in this sort of thing. I didn’t hear any background noise; however, your “s” were a bit harsh. Hope that helps.

    • #57797
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Alexis — Your pace and enunciation were great. The energy for the read I felt was spot on, and your pitch variation hit the right words, too. Nice read. As for quality of the recording, I didn’t hear any background noise, however, I did not have my earphones in either.

      Kathy

      • #57802
        AlexisVO
        Participant

        Thanks, Kathy, I appreciate your feedback!

  • #57785
    touzet
    Participant

    Not a huge fan of the new site so far. Graphically, it’s prettier and more modern but functionally it’s a bit wacked. More clicks to get where you’re going and the older feedback forum was more tailored to that function for VO – not a generic Bulletin Board. However, it looks like you can now give a critique and leave an audio attachment… I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that yet but you could with an audio attachment say: “You’re doing this: Blah blah blah…when I think it might should be more like Blah”. Being able to leave an audio critique might be a cool thing. Looks like I can make a comment with no attachment at all …just a general statement like this.

    • #57788
      AlexisVO
      Participant

      I miss how on the old site you could look at a script and hear others’ files for that same script. Also it was easy to post to the feedback forum without having to copy and paste the script. The functionality to quickly add your MP3 was built in. Oh well. I agree that this new site looks much better. Nice job, Edge!

      • #57791
        touzet
        Participant

        In spite of some of those navigational issues, one cool thing is that you may be able to post an audio critique on someone’s post and say “I hear it this way…etc.”

        • #57804
          AlexisVO
          Participant

          I guess that can be cool in certain circumstances. Like if you want to explain what you mean but it might be easier to just show the person what you mean by saying it and uploading your comment. For me, that would be rare as I think it’s more convenient and faster to just type a response.

        • #57814
          swy619
          Participant

          That’s interesting. I mean, do you think it would be appropriate to leave audio feedback? Sometimes I feel like that would be easier for me, but then again, I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like they had to read something the way I would, like maybe that could restrict freedom of interpretation perhaps? Maybe I’m way off, but just a thought. On the other hand, I guess there could also be good opportunities to learn from others’ interpretations.

  • #57776
    swy619
    Participant

    I hope I’m posting this in the right place. First recording and still figuring out the forum layout, but anyway, here goes. Feedback appreciated.
    Thanks,
    Sarah
    Beethoven
    Of all the hundreds of symphonies that have been composed, none can rival in popularity or emotional interest the nine great symphonic works that Beethoven wrote. Beethoven took music off the pedestal of formal beauty, where Haydn and Mozart had left it, and immersed it in the whirlpool of life. He roughened it up until it began to do what he expected it to do … to express problems, evoke emotions, move and struggle exuberantly. More people can respond at once to a Beethoven symphony than to any other. Many have written fine symphonies, but Beethoven’s remain in a class by themselves, as invaluable a part of our heritage as are Shakespeare’s plays.

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    • #57812
      christinesachsnyc
      Participant

      Hi Sarah. Thanks for sharing. I’m with Alexis in terms of interpretation feedback. I might suggest keeping an eye on your levels. It sounded pretty quiet to me, while I was listening.

    • #57789
      AlexisVO
      Participant

      Hi Sarah,
      I think you did a great job with this. Everything is clearly pronounced and overall your pace was good. I like your emphasis on “immersed” and “whirlpool of life”. I think your read lost a little bit of the energy toward the end, starting around the “More people can…” sentence, and you seemed to slow down a bit too. If you can keep up the energy and enthusiasm through to the end, that would help strengthen the piece. Nice work!
      –Alexis

      • #57819
        swy619
        Participant

        Thank you both for the feedback. Here’s a retake, attempting to take your suggestions into account. Making use of the ability to add audio attachments to replies. 🙂 Sorry for the bump at the beginning of the track. Thanks so much!

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        • #57836
          mkell755
          Participant

          Hi Sarah! I listened to the first recording and this recording, and the volume is much better. I like too how your energy and pace were a little more upbeat as well for the second read. Very good read!
          Mary

  • #57774
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hello everyone! Telephony narration for critique. Recorded this one with a mic (no pop filter at the moment), so I am still getting used to it. All feedback is welcome and appreciated!

    Telephony

    AC Rebates

    A representative will be with you shortly. Meanwhile, summer is already here at L.G. Energy! If it’s time to enjoy a new air conditioner, you’ll also enjoy knowing about our money-saving rebates. Ask your representative about them.

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    • #57790
      AlexisVO
      Participant

      Hi kfvoice,
      Nice job with this read. Your recording quality sounds good, and your pace and diction are good as well. I agree with mkell755 that it could use a little more energy. I didn’t hear the exclamation point in the second sentence, and the script tells the customer to get excited about the rebates they offer if they are considering a new AC. I think bringing some of that energy into the script would be great.
      –Alexis

      • #57796
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Hi Alexis!

        I agree, I do need to bring more enthusiasm to the read.

        I am happy to know the sound quality is good, though, and my pace and diction here is good as well. The enunciation and slower pace is something I have been struggling with. I am confident all pieces of the puzzle will fit together soon!

        Thank you much for the feedback! I appreciate it!

        Kathy

        • #57803
          AlexisVO
          Participant

          You’re welcome! Keep at it and things will get better and better 🙂 I used to struggle with reading slow, and still do — in my head it sounds fine, but when I listen back to the recording I think “Why did I do that so slow??” It sometimes sounds different to what I thought I was doing.

          I think a big part of the training is learning how things sound in your own head vs. how they actually sound when you record and play back (and have others listen too). I think it’s about learning how to make those adjustments.

          Take care,
          Alexis

    • #57782
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kfvoice, this was a good read. I think you could use even more excitement in the second sentence where there is an exclamation point, like you are really excited about it being summer already!!! Your voice dropped down there, and I would think that the company (L.G. Energy) might want their name emphasized a little more. Otherwise, good enunciation and reading.
      Mary

      • #57795
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Hi Mary!

        Noted! Appreciate the feedback!

        I agree about the pitch. Definitely need to work on that. However, I am glad to know my enunciation was good — that is something I am trying to better achieve before putting everything together, so to speak.

        Thanks again!
        Kathy

        • #57837
          mkell755
          Participant

          Hey you are welcome Kathy! I feel like I’m beginning to recognize some names with the voices! It’s nice to receive the positive and honest feedback from all, so we can all learn and improve. The forum is great!
          Mary

  • #57764
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! I’m looking for any and all feedback in an effort to improve. I recorded on my phone and the wind is raging tonight, so hoping that is not too distracting. Thanks for your help!
    Mary

    Freshii
    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

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    • #57806
      AlexisVO
      Participant

      Hi Mary, I think you did a great job with this read. It was clear and you had good pitch variation. I agree with other comments that it could use a little more energy in some places. Imagine that you just ate this for lunch and you’re excited to tell a friend about Freshii and how delicious it is. That could help bring in the feeling to the read.
      –Alexis

      • #57838
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Alexis, thanks for the feedback! I will work on my energy, I like your suggestion to be more excited about telling a friend how great it was. That sounds like somethign I would actually do, if I liked the food a lot. Thanks again!
        Mary

    • #57773
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi Mary,
      I think you had a nice, clear reading for the Freshii script, and I feel there was some good pitch variation, such that it was interesting to listen to and definitely did not sound flat. I might suggest trying it with a bit more volume and more of an upbeat tone. You captured some of the excitement I’m suggesting toward the end of the script, from “$12.99” onward, so I might suggest more of that throughout.
      Very nice job. Look forward to hearing more.
      Best,
      Sarah

      • #57783
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Sarah – realizing now that if I reply to another’s feedback it might not also show up when you check for specific feedback to report back to your coach. Thanks again for your feedback, and I will work on the excitement and upbeat feel of the read. Thanks!
        Mary

    • #57771
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Mary! I like how you billboarded “Freshii” in your opening line. Try varying your pitch when you are asking (to your audience) your questions. Hope this helps. Keep it up!

      • #57781
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thank you kfvoice and Sarah! Really appreciate the feedback. In my head I feel like I am being somewhat sing-songy, but it sounds like I could vary it even more, and also keep it more upbeat and excited. Thank you!
        Mary

        • #57794
          kfvoice
          Participant

          I completely understand where you are coming from, where it sounds one way to you when reading, but sounds different when listening. We will get there!

          Kathy

  • #57758
    amandavoice
    Participant

    Hello! This is my first post to the forum and I’m nervous and excited! My homework was to read, record, and post two narration scripts from the Edge library. Here are my scripts and I appreciate any and all feedback.
    Thank you!
    Amanda

    Ice Fishing Product Videos
    The Eskimo Pistol Bit is the lightest, fastest and smoothest auger of it’s kind. Its high strength extreme cold rested polymer flight and cutting head paired with its rigid aluminum hexagon shaft keep the auger lighter than the competition while maintaining incredible strength and durability.

    How to set up an Excel Expense Worksheet
    This video will share how to set up an Excel spreadsheet for tracking expenses. First, go to Menu, new, and select Workbook. Click on any cell to get started. I will use cell C2. Name this field something that is meaningful to your business, I’ll use my company name. Right next to that, let’s title this column the amount due.

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    • #57772
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Amanda! Welcome!

      I agree with the previous comments, there was more enthusiasm in your second read.

      In your first read, the second sentence is very long, however, be mindful of micro-pauses where they are not intended. I did notice you read I will use cell C2. as “I’ll” use cell C2. Remember to read the script as it is written.

      Good first read!

      Kathy

      • #57879
        amandavoice
        Participant

        Hi Kathy! Thank you for the feedback! I need to look up micropauses and understand that more. I’m so new to coaching that that hasn’t been addressed yet. I was trying to pause like there would be action on the screen and then tighten them up some but wasn’t sure what to do. I did intentionally chose “I’ll” over “I will” to attempt to make it a little more casual but thank you for pointing out that was probably not OK. Really appreciated the feedback!

    • #57766
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Amanda! I lied both reads, but I agree with the previous comment in that the ice fishing read, though interesting to listen to, could have had a little more variation in pitch to draw the listener in. I liked the second read about excel – you sounded more excited about teaching someone how to use the product, which made it a better read. Good reads!

      • #57878
        amandavoice
        Participant

        Thank you! You are correct that I connected more with Excel – that’s my day job and I know nothing about ice fishing! I was trying for variation in the reads overall but lost the variation within them.

        • #57954
          mkell755
          Participant

          Hi Amanda! I think it is usually easier to talk more confidently about things you know, at least it is for me. You are doing great, just keep at it!

          Mary

    • #57762
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      First, welcome to the forum!

      Of the two reads, the second was your best. I could hear the smile as you read, and it felt more genuine and natural. The first was a little flat; I didn’t hear you connecting with the material.

      In both cases, there were a couple of rushed parts that slurred together a bit: in read 1, “lighter than the competition”, and in read 2 “for tracking expenses” and “meaningful to your business”.

      Good luck! Keep at it!

      • #57877
        amandavoice
        Participant

        Thank you so much, Brian! I was trying for a subdued “quiet” read in hushed tones like ice fishing but apparently was very off the mark. The second read is most certainly more my natural delivery. This was very helpful!

  • #57605
    isabrandon30
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m trying to work on enunciating words completely but please feel free to leave your thoughts on anything and everything! I really appreciate it!

    Script 1: Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

    Script 2: Welcome to Advantage Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training, and education opportunities.

    Script 3: One of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, Italy represents a stunning combination of history, architecture, natural beauty, and culinary excellence. There are just a few places in the world that boast such a wide range of different landscapes, traditions, and cultural riches.

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    • #57768
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Isabrandon 30! These are good reads for your voice.
      Script 1 – Good pace and energy. The last line sounded a little choppy, and like you were reading the script vs. just going to tell someone a story.
      Script 2 – Good read and variation in tone. I think you enunciate well, and that the 2 times you said “important” it felt like too much enunciation to me. Otherwise great read.
      Script 3 – Great read, I liked this one the best. You sounded relaxed and interested in the topic, and your voice is well-suited to this type of script. I think you added a word (can) in-between “that boast” which is not a huge deal for practice, but would be something to watch for if this had been a job. Otherwise very good overall!

    • #57638
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Good afternoon!

      So a few things jump out that you may want to address:
      – You sometimes slur between words, specifically a few times where you say “t'” instead of “to”, and “‘n” instead of “and”. One fix that my coach taught me was that, where appropriate (such as in a corporate or very formal video/VO) to scratch out the word “to” and write the number “2”.
      – “The” with a long “e” should be used when it precedes a word that begins with a vowel (“Thee apple”), and a short “e” when preceding words beginning with a consonant (“Thugh pear”).
      – “A” should only be a long “a” (like the Canadian “eh”) when emphasizing a strong emotion. (“Give. Me. A. Chance.”) Otherwise, “a” should be a short “a” as in “ah”.
      – There are few times, especially in the second script, where you hit really h*****n the “t” sounds and it’s a bit jarring. Enunciation doesn’t mean having to pronounce every letter individually, especially if it takes away from the overall read. It’s possible to hit the “t” sound in words like “important” without hitting the letter so hard.

      Overall, a good start.

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