Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

Viewing 3,166 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #57605
    isabrandon30
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m trying to work on enunciating words completely but please feel free to leave your thoughts on anything and everything! I really appreciate it!

    Script 1: Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

    Script 2: Welcome to Advantage Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training, and education opportunities.

    Script 3: One of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, Italy represents a stunning combination of history, architecture, natural beauty, and culinary excellence. There are just a few places in the world that boast such a wide range of different landscapes, traditions, and cultural riches.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57768
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Isabrandon 30! These are good reads for your voice.
      Script 1 – Good pace and energy. The last line sounded a little choppy, and like you were reading the script vs. just going to tell someone a story.
      Script 2 – Good read and variation in tone. I think you enunciate well, and that the 2 times you said “important” it felt like too much enunciation to me. Otherwise great read.
      Script 3 – Great read, I liked this one the best. You sounded relaxed and interested in the topic, and your voice is well-suited to this type of script. I think you added a word (can) in-between “that boast” which is not a huge deal for practice, but would be something to watch for if this had been a job. Otherwise very good overall!

    • #57638
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Good afternoon!

      So a few things jump out that you may want to address:
      – You sometimes slur between words, specifically a few times where you say “t'” instead of “to”, and “‘n” instead of “and”. One fix that my coach taught me was that, where appropriate (such as in a corporate or very formal video/VO) to scratch out the word “to” and write the number “2”.
      – “The” with a long “e” should be used when it precedes a word that begins with a vowel (“Thee apple”), and a short “e” when preceding words beginning with a consonant (“Thugh pear”).
      – “A” should only be a long “a” (like the Canadian “eh”) when emphasizing a strong emotion. (“Give. Me. A. Chance.”) Otherwise, “a” should be a short “a” as in “ah”.
      – There are few times, especially in the second script, where you hit really h*****n the “t” sounds and it’s a bit jarring. Enunciation doesn’t mean having to pronounce every letter individually, especially if it takes away from the overall read. It’s possible to hit the “t” sound in words like “important” without hitting the letter so hard.

      Overall, a good start.

  • #57602
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hi everybody! I am looking for feedback for this documentary read to prepare for my narration demo. Any feedback is appreciated!

    Documentaries

    About Horror

    Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.

    Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57769
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kfvoice! Interesting read. I wanted to hear a little more variation in the tone, but I agree that documentaries can be tricky to not oversell / over emphasize what you are talking about. Maybe just pick a few words to emphasize here and there? I’m new to this, so feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Good read!

    • #57639
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      First: “Take a trip”…the “a” should be a short “a”, like “ah”, not a long “a” like the Canadian “eh”.

      Second…it comes across overall as rather flat. There isn’t much in the way of change in inflection, and I’m not getting any emotion behind this. Try to find the important words and ways to emphasize them by changing the inflection. Try to find who this read is for, and talk to them.

      Also, the second part of the first sentence really feels mashed together, like you’re rushing through it. Slow it down, let it breathe.

      • #57644
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback, Brian!

        Pronunciation: I am trying hard to work on the pronunciations. I live in the northeast, and I have really become aware of dialect as a result of starting the program.

        First sentence: This was the slowest read of my practice. I feel like if I go any slower, I’ll sound too choppy, but, I’m definitely trying to find the balance. I almost felt like this sentence really needed a micro-pause in it.

        Flat: I do have a rather monotone voice. I’m pretty chill, so reflecting enthusiasm into copy is something I’m practicing to convey. I think I’m trying too hard to remember everything. It is important to interpret the script, to find ones audience, but picturing them in my mind is throwing me off for some reason. When watching documentaries, narrating voices usually sound flat to me; not much emotion. Is it just me who hears that?

        Thank you for the constructive criticism!

        • #57761
          BrianWigginsVO
          Participant

          No worries, and I’m from the NE as well, so I feel your pain. I actually had someone tell me about 12 years ago when I first tried getting into VO that my accent was “too thick” and that he couldn’t ever work with me again (after he paid me $30 for what should have been around $150 worth of work). Don’t worry, it will all come together with patience and practice. Are you working with any of the coaches through Edge? The ones I’ve been fortunate enough to work with have been awesome and really helped me along.

  • #57597
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! I am looking for feedback for my upcoming commercial demo. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

    Jaguar
    I was born fast. Faster than those who would challenge me. I was born strong. Quiet in confidence. And blessed with might. I was born with instinctive quickness. Quick to recognize. To adapt. To respond. Quick to be quick. I was born to be seen by everything but the wind. I was born at the beginning of the last century, but I am undoubtedly of the next century. I am Jaguar. Born to perform.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57640
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      There’s some inflection there, but I’m not really getting any emotion from the read, overall.

      What are the qualities of Jaguar that you are trying to convey? What does the brand say about the person who drives this car? Find those emotional touch points, and find the words that emphasize that image and emotion and give it more punch.

      Also, is this a scratch track (it’s OK if it is) or is this the equipment you will be recording on? If it’s the latter, I can hear a lot of compression, so there is a lot of body missing from your voice.

      • #57756
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi BrianWiggins, thanks for the feedback, very helpful. I’m just getting started, and this recording was done on my phone in the closet in an attempt to make the background completely silent (due to the quiet tone of the read implied), so yes this is not the equipment I will use to record. Thanks again!

  • #57583
    fleishman619
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Looking for feedback on these two performances for a narration demo (food network-type script). Also, feedback on which copy you believe suits me better would be super helpful!

    Script 1: Tito’s cranks every hour that it’s open. Whether you’re rubbing shoulders with the mechanic or the mayor, everyone can agree that while they may not be the most authentic Mexican street food, the hard shell tacos and bean and cheese burritos are the most authentic So-Cal interpretation of a taco. Taste on and you’ll see why—it’s comfort food at its best.
    Script 2: Pack up the chowder or take the lobster roll to-go, because the blondie sundae at Connie & Ted’s is worth saving room for. The warm blondie comes topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and the whole shebang is doused in a fabulously gooey caramel sauce.

    Thank you!!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57641
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Agree with the previous two folks, you seem to connect with the first script more. If you did decide to give the second one another go, I would really lay it on thick with how decadent the warm blondie is be slowing it down just a hair.

      …now I need to get a taco.

    • #57599
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi fleishman619 – both reads were very good – good pace and energy for both. I like the first script slightly better because it showcases a nice longer sentence (the second one) that has a lot of information but flows well and is easily understandable – good reads!

    • #57596
      kfvoice
      Participant

      I enjoyed both reads! A great job on both, however, I would go with Script 1. Just something about it. Be careful of slight micro-pauses, but otherwise, awesome work!

  • #57581
    fleishman619
    Participant

    Hi all, I’m looking for feedback on performance. Not quality as I recorded this on my phone. Hoping to maybe use a chunk of this for my narration demo:

    The Great Barrier Reef is one of the Natural Wonders of the World. It’s the world’s largest single structure formed by living organisms and can be seen from outer space. This system of coral reefs and islands supports a wide range of wildlife, including fish, birds, sharks, sea turtles, and crocodiles. One sobering statistic is that since 1985, the Great Barrier Reef has lost nearly half of its coral. The biggest threats to the reef are climate change, pollution, and overfishing.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57784
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Fleishman619, great style of read for your voice! Very clear, good pace and variation of pitch. I found myself visualizing the items in the lists (birds, sharks, sea turtles and crocodiles) and really paying attention to what was being said. Great job!
      Mary

    • #57595
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi fleishman619 — you did a great job with the tempo in this read! I would be careful of sounding “breathy” between sentences. Understandable, as you say, it was recorded on your phone, so it does pick up the littlest sounds. Overall, you have a great voice for this style of narration. Keep it up!

  • #57559
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a test read for my upcoming commercial demo. Thank you for any and all feedback!

    Functional Fitness
    Welcome to our functional training series. Breaking it down, functional training is simply turning your attention to training the body for movements we perform as we go about our daily lives. Movements like standing , sitting, stepping, reaching, pushing, pulling, getting balanced. Our training series has broken down those movements into a series of workouts to help you draw attention to how you perform those activities on a daily basis. This is designed to bring your awareness to your posture and your form, to the muscle groups that allow you to work in those capacities and hopefully keep you safe and keep you strong.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #57557
    SuperLuke
    Participant

    hi mtrip09,
    I like how you tried to perform Edgar Allen Poe. It was a good performance. Although, I think you can do better than that.

    • #57752
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Thanks Luke , I greatly appreciate yr comment, do you have specific areas you think i should work on?

  • #57549
    ThomasGreene
    Participant

    Hello! I will potentially be using these for my first demo. Any feedback is appreciated!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57601
      isabrandon30
      Participant

      1st Script: I think the tone fits well. The pace shifts in the middle at about 11 seconds in to a little fast but returns to a slower pace later on. Also in the beginning it feels like there’s a couple pauses that are a bit too long. Other than that I think this read is pretty good.

      2nd Script: It sounded really informative! I think if you hit the names of the anchors it will make it even better. Also maybe add a little more enthusiasm to make the read really pop.

      3rd Script: I agree with some others in saying this was your best one. Great energy and flow to this one. I could hear the smile in this one if that makes sense.

      Keep going you are doing great! Good luck on your demo and your future recordings!

    • #57578
      fleishman619
      Participant

      Hi there. Love your voice for all these types of copy! Keep working on being a bit more conversational. That starts with really connecting to the copy and having a specific listener in mind. That would probably help with pacing and variance in energy. Other than that I really think you did a great job!

    • #57561
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi ThomasGreene, I liked all 3 performances, but I feel like the third one for Opti-Green seemed to be the one that was most interesting to listen to, and that I wanted to hear more. I think it’s because your tone was a little more varied on that one, and the words that were hit stood out a little more. Your voice is warm and relaxed and suits commercial well. Good reads!

    • #57558
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Hi Tom, I liked all 3 performances. They seem good for a commercial demo. One suggestion, make the voices a little different from each other snd add more enthusiasm to the performances. It may attract more listeners.

  • #57539
    mrtripo9
    Participant

    Hello every one , its my first time here am trying to get out of my shell into this amazing VO world
    Here is my first post , an attempt at the “The Raven ” please need your opinion and advice, Thanks

    “The Raven,” by Edgar Allen Poe<
    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
    As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
    “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
    Only this and nothing more.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
    And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
    Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
    From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
    For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
    Nameless here for evermore.

    And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
    Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
    So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
    “’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
    Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
    This it is and nothing more.”

    Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
    “Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
    But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
    And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57778
      eglover177
      Participant

      I think the last copy is your best 1 although “Every scoop” should have a little more emphasis but great sound and work keep training

    • #57594
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi mrtripo9! I love you attempted a poem! Great job in varying your pitch in the last verse. Be careful of micro-pauses not intended in the verses. Keep it up!

      • #57751
        mrtripo9
        Participant

        Thanks kfvoice , your comment is greatly appreciated will keep working on it.

  • #57534
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Maxwell House
    Here’s to a world without bitterness. It’s our best Maxwell House ever. Now roasted with 100% Arabica beans known to be the finest coffee beans in the world for a full flavor without bitterness. It’s a new morning. Brew some good. Maxwell House.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #57767
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim – I liked this read, and you definitely have a voice that is well suited for a coffee commercial. The pace was good, and the emphasis on particular words was also good. Good read!

    • #57604
      isabrandon30
      Participant

      Way to hit those words! I think it will sound even better if you hit a few more words throughout the script. Pace is good. I think there was an unnecessary pause after the word: “world.” Also the read sounded a bit quiet so maybe get closer to the mic or read a bit louder. Otherwise great job!

Viewing 3,166 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.