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This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
Good background noises and the Viking/ English characters having a dialogue. Wish you had a script copy for the audience to follow along with. Great accents with the characters!
Where does Chaucer’s Mead Trio come from?
Thank you for the feedback!!! I think I have a copy of the script.
Here it is. The script actually came from Edge’s own library. Chaucer’s Mead
is in Monterey and Santa Cruz, California.
Here it is:
We know your heart was in the right place, Douglas, but we’ve got to let you know: those last few Viking parties of yours have been a little on the foolish side. It isn’t just the visible seams on the chintzy plastic helmets, or the bath mats repurposed as l**n cloths. It’s the b***e. Face it, no matter how bejeweled the wrought-iron chalice you pour it into, cheap sangria is cheap sangria. But take heart, for hope joins the battle! This highly-rated, award-winning Chaucer’s Mead Trio delivers yesterday’s taste today, bringing an earthy authenticity to any pageant, feast, or faire, including the uninspiring likes of your Viking parties. And don’t worry – just because it’s named after Chaucer doesn’t mean it’s made in England. This be Calyfornyae wyne, goode sirre. And now, Douglas, your bottles three! You’ll get two bottles of Chaucer’s Mead, a distinctively rich dessert-style wine blended from three different types of honey: floral-smelling orange blossom honey, spicy toyon honey (toyon’s a member of the sage family), and dark, amber-hued alfalfa. It would’ve been easier for Chaucer’s Cellars to add artificial flavorings, colorings, or concentrates. But they didn’t need gimmicks like that in the original Chaucer’s day. If pure fermented honey was good enough to lighten the way on the pilgrimage to Canterbury, it’s good enough for us. You will find a titch of trickery about the odd mead out here – Chaucer’s Raspberry Mead – but only of the mildest sort. This fruity variation on a honeyed theme is made by adding a splash of Chaucer’s Raspberry Wine (15%) to the aforementioned Chaucer’s Mead (85%). Don’t get your breeches in a bunch, traditionalists. People’ve been mixing up mead and fruity wine for so long, there’s even a name for it: Melomel. Less sweet than regular mead and less regular than sweet mead, Chaucer’s Raspberry Mead will make you holler “Forsooth!” So raise high the goblet, Douglas, for tonight we drink mead! Yep, that’s what we’ll say a few weeks from now, after our Chaucer’s Mead Trio arrives.
I was wondering when you delivered the line in the mead read: Yep, that’s what we’ll say a few weeks from now, after our Chaucer’s Mead Trio arrives. if after “Yep” (sounded like yet) you made it sound like you were downing a sip, or if that was not intentional, and were gasping for a breath? It was a little hard to tell on my end.
Here is another character I was thinking of re-doing….
This one was for a local ad agency. It only ran for a week, about 3 years ago.
I was going to dump the character, but after listening to it again, I think I’ll use him again.
Tell me what you think.
Here is the script. It also came from Edge’s library:
Captain Morgan Private Stock has all the charm and discipline of an aristocrat, with the brass of a seafaring rogue. Crafted from the Captain’s oldest and finest Puerto Rican rums, distilled from pure cane sugar molasses, then blended with refined island spices. The result is an exceptionally well-mannered spirit that doesn’t forget where it comes from. A r*m brash enough to bunker down in a Bahama Mama, yet distinguished enough to be sipped over ice. Captain Morgan. An officer and a gentleman.
Puzzle solved. The first makeup to precisely match your skin’s texture and tone. New L’oreal true match super blendable makeup. As close to your skin as a makeup can get. Because you’re worth it.
Nice commercial promotion. Good recording quality and performance.
While I enjoy hearing your voice in this performance, there are some parts where I feel you can work on pacing. In the beginning, after you say “puzzle solved”, take a brief moment to pause. It will grab your audience’s attention and they will wonder what puzzle is being solved. Maybe as you perform, “Because you’re worth it”, maybe slow it down a little bit.
Keep up the good work and hope this was helpful,
-SL
Thank you! I’m going to start uploading changes as per people’s suggestions otherwise I won’t really learn. I think this one sounds better and I took your direction 🙂 THank you!
I like this read. I am not sure if you did this on purpose, but I did notice in both that you skipped the “a” in As close to your skin as a makeup can get.
Hello! Uploading my commercial coaching homework reads 🙂 Any feedback is welcome and appreciated!
Script 1 – Jack Daniels
Giving the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say, your boss, a friend or a brother.
Second, get some wrapping paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racket. They’re gonna know what it is, but that’s part of the charm.
Script 2 – Kerry Gold
It’s more than luck that brings people together. KerryGold, pure Irish butter. Made with milk from grass-fed cows that graze on the lush pastures of Ireland
Script 3 – Durex
This is Bob. Bob is an idiot. Bob makes mistakes. A lot of them. Oh, Bob. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but despite all his faults, even an idiot like Bob knows he needs protection. Durex. Smart.
Hi Jack,
Comment: Good commercial performances. There’s also a good recording quality (i.e. having no background noises). I don’t know what your assignment was though.
Critique: While you are staying point by point in reading and performing the commercials for buying Jack Daniels, Butter, and Bob being an idiot while still knowing to buy a product, I think you should experiment with your voice talent some more. Add more emphasis on keywords, like, “Giving the Right gift is Easy”, “that’s part of the Charm”, “Kerry gold”. “Bob makes Mistakes. a lot of them”. Try adding something to emphasize, to hint to a listener that bob is an idiot but he’s smart enough to buy the right product…
For my Character Voice-Over demo and a session this upcoming Friday, my coach wanted me to practice the accent for Cockney and for Received Pronunciation (R.P). He also wanted me to keep all my characters sounding different from each other. Let me know what you think so far and I’ll look forward to feedback.
Script for the Magician in R.P
1) Ladies and gentlemen, this blade has been passed down through generations of magicians, like me. Its power is to be Respected and Feared. Very few may wield it. Oh no! What have I done?! (breaks off)
(Cuts off)
Script for Cockney Knight:
2) Sir Knight, you must save us from the dragon who swells in the Volcano…Why are you ‘iding behind your ‘orse? Mmmm. You ain’t a brave warrior at all. Oh, give me your sword and I’ll k**l it me self!
Thank you SuperLuke! Tried for the “natural” sound on Allstate & went for the obvious “Trailer” sound and pacing on the Hagios Press script. Just not sure if the All-State was too flat in the middle.
Nice job! You have a really nice, clear vocal quality that sounds great for narration and the tempo of this read is great! The one thing I want to give feedback on is that it sounds like you’re thinking really hard about using the proper inflection patterns while you read this and it’s hurting the authenticity of your read. The first sentence there is the best example of this. Stressing the important bits is good but it’s important to do so in moderation
So, is this a test preparation? I notice so far that your recordings reflect on academics and E learning-related materials. I don’t know the homework your coach asked for you to do. But I’d say if you are going for the E-learning genre in Voiceover, you are in the right direction. Are you trying to sound happy about what you are reading?
While listening to this performance, I hear this as something I might find associated with the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet. I don’t know what kind of homework your coach gave you to do. But maybe put more emphasis as you narrate “life from death” at the end because you’re saying there is something serious going on with the animals in the herd. Maybe put more emphasis as you describe the lion, the pride, the cubs, and the elephants, life-giving water etc.
Congratulations, you just bought Allstate Home Owners Insurance. And now, if your home or property suffers a covered loss or is damaged, you’ll be covered, and that’s a good feeling. However there are some things that can’t be replaced, so that’s why it’s so important to prevent the damages from occurring in the first place. Here, you’ll learn what steps you can take to make your home safe and secure.
<h5 style=”margin: 0in; line-height: 27.0pt;”>Script 2: Insert Motion Digital: GGG: Hagios Press Book Trailers
From a young boy catching pop flies in a Saskatchewan pasture…
Comes a book of poetry that celebrates the love of a game.
I like how the first recording sounds different than the second, as far as voice. It helps distinguish the Allstate commercial from the Children’s book audiobook performance. Good job!