Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all! Here’s a telephony read as part of my narration homework.
Again, I don’t have any recording equipment (yet), and this was recorded on a mobile app.
American Express
Thank you for holding. Did you know that you can now receive your American Express statement completely online? No more paper bills! We’ll even send you an email reminder when your statement is ready for viewing. To see if you can take advantage of this free service; log on to americanexpress.com/paperless. Or ask your representative.
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Hi kfvoice – nice job on the AMEX commercial. It sounds very smooth and believable. I feel that your voice could put people at ease when on hold, which can be stressful, meaning that this type of work would be good for you. Good job!
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Nice work. You have a nice voice for this type of content. I would say you may want to work on pronunciation as there were some words that were slurring together a bit, particularly on the line “To see if you can take advantage of this free service;” Sometimes when I have a hard time with slurring I put a pen between my teeth and say the phrase slowly trying to say each work – it was a suggestion on the vocal health or technique webinar. Keep it up!
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Hi ladies and gents! Here is another read. I normalized it to about -3db. Got a new interface with a bit less self-noise than my focusrite. Anyways. I appreciate any feedback.
Blue From American Express
We are helping put instruments back in the hands of kids. Why? Studies indicate kids who learn music excel at reading, science and math. But Budget cuts are eliminating music programs. So, join blue from American Express to help put music back in the hands of kids!
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Hello! I am new to the field, and am uploading the first reading of my narration assignment. Any and all feedback is welcome!
I decided to read a script for a Web Promo Video under Internet Audio. My recording is under 60 seconds, but appears longer on here.
(Please Note: This audio was recorded in a quiet space on a mobile app. Clicks and pops are evident.)
Web Promo Video
Meet Steve Hudson, owner of Hudson’s Cafe. This year, he opened location number twelve. Business is good… ‘cause the food is good.
But there’s still work to do. See that pick-up and delivery counter? It’s got real potential, but Jessica can’t seem to crack the code.
Jessica handles marketing for Hudson’s Cafe. Her team manages the new web site and the Facebook following. But what she’s about to propose will turn those marketing channels into real business growth. It’s called ChowNow.
ChowNow puts your pick-up and delivery business online with simple, integrated ordering for your web site, your facebook page, and the custom iPhone app ChowNow creates just for you. Welcome to online and mobile ordering, Steve. You’re about to make some money.
Go online and go mobile with…
ChowNow
We can take your orders.
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Hi kfvoice, just listened to your read. I’m glad you recorded in a quiet place where you wouldn’t have background noise. I think for this Web promo video, add more than 1 neutral emotion in your read, like gradually inserting three emotions in the delivery. It will make the promo more successful because you may decide to insert a smile in your voice as you perform “Meet Steve”, you might feel bummed out when you say, “But there’s work to do”, and then you may decide to be super excited about what Jessica is about to do.
hope this comment helps
-SL -
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Looking for some feedback on my new character demo reel. Thanks in advance. positive, negative, or otherwise, I can take it.
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Just trying out a few characters in this copy for Chaucer’s Mead Trio.
Tell me what you all think of it.-
Good background noises and the Viking/ English characters having a dialogue. Wish you had a script copy for the audience to follow along with. Great accents with the characters!
Where does Chaucer’s Mead Trio come from?-
Thank you for the feedback!!! I think I have a copy of the script.
Here it is. The script actually came from Edge’s own library. Chaucer’s Mead
is in Monterey and Santa Cruz, California.Here it is:
We know your heart was in the right place, Douglas, but we’ve got to let you know: those last few Viking parties of yours have been a little on the foolish side. It isn’t just the visible seams on the chintzy plastic helmets, or the bath mats repurposed as l**n cloths. It’s the b***e. Face it, no matter how bejeweled the wrought-iron chalice you pour it into, cheap sangria is cheap sangria. But take heart, for hope joins the battle! This highly-rated, award-winning Chaucer’s Mead Trio delivers yesterday’s taste today, bringing an earthy authenticity to any pageant, feast, or faire, including the uninspiring likes of your Viking parties. And don’t worry – just because it’s named after Chaucer doesn’t mean it’s made in England. This be Calyfornyae wyne, goode sirre. And now, Douglas, your bottles three! You’ll get two bottles of Chaucer’s Mead, a distinctively rich dessert-style wine blended from three different types of honey: floral-smelling orange blossom honey, spicy toyon honey (toyon’s a member of the sage family), and dark, amber-hued alfalfa. It would’ve been easier for Chaucer’s Cellars to add artificial flavorings, colorings, or concentrates. But they didn’t need gimmicks like that in the original Chaucer’s day. If pure fermented honey was good enough to lighten the way on the pilgrimage to Canterbury, it’s good enough for us. You will find a titch of trickery about the odd mead out here – Chaucer’s Raspberry Mead – but only of the mildest sort. This fruity variation on a honeyed theme is made by adding a splash of Chaucer’s Raspberry Wine (15%) to the aforementioned Chaucer’s Mead (85%). Don’t get your breeches in a bunch, traditionalists. People’ve been mixing up mead and fruity wine for so long, there’s even a name for it: Melomel. Less sweet than regular mead and less regular than sweet mead, Chaucer’s Raspberry Mead will make you holler “Forsooth!” So raise high the goblet, Douglas, for tonight we drink mead! Yep, that’s what we’ll say a few weeks from now, after our Chaucer’s Mead Trio arrives.-
Really great reads! Love the characters!
I was wondering when you delivered the line in the mead read: Yep, that’s what we’ll say a few weeks from now, after our Chaucer’s Mead Trio arrives. if after “Yep” (sounded like yet) you made it sound like you were downing a sip, or if that was not intentional, and were gasping for a breath? It was a little hard to tell on my end.
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Here is another character I was thinking of re-doing….
This one was for a local ad agency. It only ran for a week, about 3 years ago.
I was going to dump the character, but after listening to it again, I think I’ll use him again.
Tell me what you think.Here is the script. It also came from Edge’s library:
Captain Morgan Private Stock has all the charm and discipline of an aristocrat, with the brass of a seafaring rogue. Crafted from the Captain’s oldest and finest Puerto Rican rums, distilled from pure cane sugar molasses, then blended with refined island spices. The result is an exceptionally well-mannered spirit that doesn’t forget where it comes from. A r*m brash enough to bunker down in a Bahama Mama, yet distinguished enough to be sipped over ice. Captain Morgan. An officer and a gentleman.
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Puzzle solved. The first makeup to precisely match your skin’s texture and tone. New L’oreal true match super blendable makeup. As close to your skin as a makeup can get. Because you’re worth it.
Thanks for any feedback! 🙂
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Nice commercial promotion. Good recording quality and performance.
While I enjoy hearing your voice in this performance, there are some parts where I feel you can work on pacing. In the beginning, after you say “puzzle solved”, take a brief moment to pause. It will grab your audience’s attention and they will wonder what puzzle is being solved. Maybe as you perform, “Because you’re worth it”, maybe slow it down a little bit.
Keep up the good work and hope this was helpful,
-SL-
Thank you! I’m going to start uploading changes as per people’s suggestions otherwise I won’t really learn. I think this one sounds better and I took your direction 🙂 THank you!
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Hello! Uploading my commercial coaching homework reads 🙂 Any feedback is welcome and appreciated!
Script 1 – Jack Daniels
Giving the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say, your boss, a friend or a brother.Second, get some wrapping paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racket. They’re gonna know what it is, but that’s part of the charm.
Script 2 – Kerry Gold
It’s more than luck that brings people together. KerryGold, pure Irish butter. Made with milk from grass-fed cows that graze on the lush pastures of Ireland
Script 3 – Durex
This is Bob. Bob is an idiot. Bob makes mistakes. A lot of them. Oh, Bob. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but despite all his faults, even an idiot like Bob knows he needs protection. Durex. Smart.
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Hi Jack,
Comment: Good commercial performances. There’s also a good recording quality (i.e. having no background noises). I don’t know what your assignment was though.Critique: While you are staying point by point in reading and performing the commercials for buying Jack Daniels, Butter, and Bob being an idiot while still knowing to buy a product, I think you should experiment with your voice talent some more. Add more emphasis on keywords, like, “Giving the Right gift is Easy”, “that’s part of the Charm”, “Kerry gold”. “Bob makes Mistakes. a lot of them”. Try adding something to emphasize, to hint to a listener that bob is an idiot but he’s smart enough to buy the right product…
Hope this message helps,
-SL
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For my Character Voice-Over demo and a session this upcoming Friday, my coach wanted me to practice the accent for Cockney and for Received Pronunciation (R.P). He also wanted me to keep all my characters sounding different from each other. Let me know what you think so far and I’ll look forward to feedback.
Script for the Magician in R.P
1) Ladies and gentlemen, this blade has been passed down through generations of magicians, like me. Its power is to be Respected and Feared. Very few may wield it. Oh no! What have I done?! (breaks off)
(Cuts off)
Script for Cockney Knight:
2) Sir Knight, you must save us from the dragon who swells in the Volcano…Why are you ‘iding behind your ‘orse? Mmmm. You ain’t a brave warrior at all. Oh, give me your sword and I’ll k**l it me self! -
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