[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.

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[kfvoice]

Hey all, here is another practice for my narration homework. I can hear a little bit of saliva on my “f’s”, but out of all the ones I recorded and listened to, I felt this one captured the tempo of the script. Let me know what you think. All is appreciated.

Biographies

Mary Pickford

Forget Julia Roberts—Mary Pickford was America’s first sweetheart. Audiences couldn’t get enough. When she took Hollywood by storm in 1909, at 17 years old, Mary appeared in 51 movies. In her first year, she made 51 films, that’s almost one a week!

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[mkell755]

Hi kfvoice! I liked the tone and pace of the read, made me want to keep listening to hear more about Mary. Good read!

[SuperLuke]

Good job as far as a biography read. Were you aiming for that in your narration homework?

[kfvoice]

Yes I was! Thanks!

[mkell755]

Hi all! Here is my daily upload, interested in any feedback to improve myself. Thanks!

Va-va-va- voom Shampoo

Has your hair lost it’s luster? Missing it’s bounce? Need some Va-va-va-voom? Let me tell you about this new shampoo I’ve been using. It’s not like your ordinary, run of the mill, “I share this with my husband” shampoo – no, this one goes beyond the call of duty to tame frizzies, banish split ends and most importantly, it gives you the confidence you need ( and a little bit of va-va-va-voooom! ). Why use your old shampoo when you can experience the power and endurance of Va-Va-Va-Voom shampoo? Call or click for your free sample today.

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[Robert Broussard]

Hi, good effort! I think you can make it flow better and sound more natural. Tone and voice are good fit for this.

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Robert, I missed it earlier. I will work on the flow and making it sound more natural, thank you!

Mary

[mrchaseatherton@gmail.com]

VO Commercial Practice! All feedback, especially performance is welcome.

Script:
Choices. You are the worst. This or that. This or that. Why must we always choose? Greatness wouldn’t choose. Greatness wants it all. With pizza Hut’s big dinner box you can have it all. Get 2 medium 1 topping pizzas plus breadsticks plus your choice of wings, rollers, or pasta. Or now skip the sides and get a third pizza all for only 19.99. Or ask for any traditional crust for 10. Looks like you can have it all. So load up that plate as hard as you can friend-o. Go for greatness people. Pizza Hut. Make it great.

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[mkell755]

Hi mrchaseatherton! I liked the read and decisiveness in your voice, seems well suited for this commercial. Good pace and clarity in the read. I think for the second “this or that” it could be read to emphasize “that” with a downward tone (so it does not sound like a question) instead of reading the same as you did in the first this or that, just to make it stand out a little more. Other than that, very good.

[docr15]

Here’s my last homework assignment for this week. Thanks for everyone’s comments.

Commercial – Kids – Legos
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that someday he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

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[docr15]

Oops! Thanks for letting me know. Here is the Lego recording.

Commercial – Kids – Legos
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that someday he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

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[kfvoice]

Nice read! I really like this!

[SuperLuke]

I like it so far. Good job

[kfvoice]

docr15 — you have the On Demand reel uploaded for your Lego feedback. Looking forward to hearing the read when you have it up!

[docr15]

Here’s another of my homework assignments. Thanks again for all your comments!

Motel 6
Whether you live for a good ride or ride to live a little more. Everyone can agree on Motel 6 where you always save more for whatever you travel for. Like the open road. Book online at motel6.com.

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[mkell755]

Hi Docr15 – I really liked the warmth in your voice, seemed very natural and fitting for this commercial. The end of the first sentence finished as if a question instead of a period (I do this as well for some unknown reason). Good solid read!

[docr15]

Hey there everyone. Posting some homework for your critique. Thanks for any and all comments.

On Demand
Some people think that pressing their On Demand button will make their house explode. The On Demand button is a way to access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more….The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.

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[mravenel]

Great tone, great read, great sound… you nailed it!

[mkell755]

Hi Docr15 – great read and very well suited for your voice. Very warm and helpful tone. Good read!

[kfvoice]

docr15 — your voice fits this commercial very well. Some feedback: perhaps tighten your words up a bit between, “access movies, TV shows, and a whole lot more.” The pause for effect after this line works, but maybe change you tone slightly with, “The button to blow-up a house is actually channel up, channel down, two-star, seven-seven.“?

[mravenel]

Hey all just looking for constructive criticism Thanks;

Advil
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.

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[mkell755]

Hi Mravenel – your voice sounds good for this type of commercial; I feel like I have heard it before. The pace was good but it seemed to speed up a little at the end right before the last sentence, I think I was just expecting a tiny pause for a little more emphasis. Good read!

[mravenel]

I think I edited out a breath before the last sentence that made it go a little closer together… good call in a little more spacing for emphasis.

[SuperLuke]

Hi mravenel,
Comment: I’m glad you know what you aiming for, being a commercial V.O. You were convincing when saying “Muscle aches?”, it draws the audience’s attention. I’m also glad there were no static or background noises in this performance.
Critique: I think you can do better than what you posted. Right after you asked about muscle aches, I heard your voice get very nasal as you repeatedly said, Advil, sounding first like “A-vil” and “Ad-vil”, as if it was 2 words. So, maybe work on saying “Advil”, in 2 parts, but not two words. Were you aiming for the nasality in the read?
hope my critique was helpful,
-SL

[mravenel]

Thanks yeah great catch now I hear the advil as a little nasally and not as articulate as could be. Thanks for the feedback

[Robert Broussard]

Ford Practice
Ford F Series Pickups
It’s easy to see why Ford has the top selling pickup truck in America. Because, when you look into a Ford, you’ll find innovation, attention to details, and exceptional value – qualities that have made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.

With this kind of success, the next thing you’ll see when you look into a Ford pickup might just be yourself. Have you driven a Ford lately?

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[kfvoice]

Nice read! Your voice fits the commercial! Although, did you edit to omit the word “the”? (“made the Ford F Series America’s best selling truck for 19 straight years.”)

• This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by kfvoice.

[Robert Broussard]

I sure did. Thanks for pointing that out. I will have to proof better.

[waninick]

Robert, a couple of thoughts:
This is a commercial for a pickup. Might want a different sound bed.
The voice is Perfect for this material, but seems quite clipped and distorted to me. Might be a bit hot on the mic.
Those two things aside, Great Read…! A little slower pace, and you won’t need so much music to make it to 30 secs. But, the voice, diction, and overall interpretation is perfect for this piece. Nice job.

[SuperLuke]

Robert, I enjoy the innovative music and the southern accent in your vocal delivery. Great job!

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks for the comments. I do have the voice clipping some. I am using Audacity and Shure SM7b mic.

[CYeschenko]

Continued practice; all comments are appreciated, especially regarding my performance. Thanks!

Legend Airlines

We’re not a four-star restaurant, but we do serve peppercorn-crusted beef tenderloin in a rich port sauce. We’re not a furniture store, but we do offer an impressive collection of leather recliners. We’re not a luxury hotel, but we do provide valet parking. We’re not an Internet Service Provider, but we do guarantee immediate Internet access. We’re not a movie theater complex, but we do have 56 screens with surround sound. …We’re not what you think….We’re Legend Airlines

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[mkell755]

Hi Cyeschenko – very nice and warm read. You have a good calm tone, and it made me curious to know more about Legend Airlines. Good pauses between thoughts and appropriate phrasing – good job!

[mravenel]

Hey great read pacing was nice, interpretation of the copy was on point only criticism I have is the sound quality could be a little better, but you made me want to travel again. 😉

[SuperLuke]

Good recording quality and performance. I like how you are relaxed and calm as you perform this commercial. It sounded so delicious it made me hungry!

[katelyndawnvo]

Good day good day! Here is my daily upload. Any feedback is appreciated.

Purina One
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.

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[katelyndawnvo]

Thanks you guys 🙂

[mkell755]

Hi Katelyndawnvo! I liked the read, very clear and warm and sounded like you smiled through some of it, which in turn made me smile. Very good fit for your voice!

[Robert Broussard]

I like that your voice is a perfect fit for that nice smooth and clear. Delivery and tone was good.

[SuperLuke]

I like it

[CYeschenko]

Nice work! Your voice fits the copy well and tone wise, you’re in the pocket. Only note would be that “good news for your cat” was a bit louder/more stressed than the canary line, which brings the joke home. If you do the first bit as more of an offhand comment and then lean into the canary line just a fraction more, it will come across even better!

[Author]

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