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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #57169
    bergtravis
    Participant

    Narration Homework

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    • #57187
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      While listening to this performance, I hear this as something I might find associated with the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet. I don’t know what kind of homework your coach gave you to do. But maybe put more emphasis as you narrate “life from death” at the end because you’re saying there is something serious going on with the animals in the herd. Maybe put more emphasis as you describe the lion, the pride, the cubs, and the elephants, life-giving water etc.

  • #57157
    GJS
    Participant

    Thank you in advance for any comments, criticism or suggestions. This is homework for narration, two scripts with different tones.

     Script 1: AllState Insurance

    <section class=”clearfix”></section>

    Congratulations, you just bought Allstate Home Owners Insurance. And now, if your home or property suffers a covered loss or is damaged, you’ll be covered, and that’s a good feeling. However there are some things that can’t be replaced, so that’s why it’s so important to prevent the damages from occurring in the first place. Here, you’ll learn what steps you can take to make your home safe and secure.
    <h5 style=”margin: 0in; line-height: 27.0pt;”>Script 2: Insert Motion Digital: GGG: Hagios Press Book Trailers

    From a young boy catching pop flies in a Saskatchewan pasture…

    Comes a book of poetry that celebrates the love of a game.

    Stealing Home by Dwayne Brenna.

    Published by Hagios (Hog-e-oh-se) Press.

    Buy it today at Amazon or S-K-Books-Dot-Com.

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    • #57413
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Nice pacing in both reads. I am hearing a little bit of a pop or lip smacking between some of the sentences.

    • #57186
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      I like how the first recording sounds different than the second, as far as voice. It helps distinguish the Allstate commercial from the Children’s book audiobook performance. Good job!

  • #57153
    kungfu23
    Participant

    Hello everyone, here is second reading I did. I love any kind of feedback to get better.

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    • #57182
      Sarania
      Participant

      Hi kungfu23,

      I thought your read was quite clear. I think it sounds a bit monotone in my ear but I do see that this is a more serious read so perhaps that is the tone you were going for. Otherwise, I think you read well.

      Sarania

      • #57185
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I agree that this performance read does sound monotone. I also hear that this is a commercial for the New York Times. It was good to listen to. If you’re aiming for seriousness in your performance, good job. A script would’ve helped me understand the seriousness of it all when I first listened to your performance.

  • #57151
    kungfu23
    Participant

    Hello everyone, here are 1 of 2 script readings I did. I love any kind of feedback to get better.

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    • #57235
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi there!

      I love that you did a script reading for a makeup tutorial! I like the enthusiasm!

      There are a couple of things I would be mindful of:

      First, in the section, “How do you get it?”, sounds like “How do-ya get it?”

      Secondly, I noticed some places where you sound “breathy” in between words. Be careful of micro-pauses, too.

    • #57184
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Comment: I like how you are aiming for the commercial read. You have good enthusiasm in your voice as you perform. You keep the listener interested in the product you are talking about.

      Critique: In the beginning, there seems to be a “roomy” sound in the background. It was hard to know what you were saying at first. Please consider inserting a script for the listeners. In the end where you say, “Simple basic steps in this video”, I heard an unnecessary pause that I think you can easily fix to make your commercial performance better.
      Hope this helps
      -SL

    • #57168
      bergtravis
      Participant

      there is a little bit of an echo in your recording and some of the words are a little rushed. Other than that it sounds good

  • #56810
    isabrandon30
    Participant

    <div>
    <h5>Please tell me what you think!  I really appreciate it!  Let’s all continue to get better!</h5>
    <h5>Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff</h5>
    </div>
    <div>

    One of my favorite posters says, “Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life, you would have been instructed where to go and what to do.” Whenever I think of this humorous bit of wisdom, it reminds me to not take my life so seriously. And in the next hour, I’ll help you learn how to not take your life so seriously as well.

    </div>

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    • #57332
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hello isabrandon30, I will echo what others have said here, in that your voice is very soothing to listen to. One thought is perhaps to vary your pitch or tone a little for “Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life, you would have been instructed where to go and what to do.”

    • #57288
      mkell755
      Participant

      isabrandon30 – Sounds really good and believable, I wanted to listen to more of what you are teaching, enjoyed the easy conversational tone. Good job!

    • #57261
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      isabrandon30 – Nice work here. I like your warm relaxing tone. Seems like a good tone of voice for eLearning. Very welcoming and non-threatening. Great recording quality as well. There was only one part that I thought you could come at with a slightly bit of different energy. You picked up the energy at the end a bit and I heard a sparkle in your eye and a smile in your voice, but I thought the line “humorous bit of wisdom” could use a bit more sparkle here as well just to break it up so it doesn’t sound too much the same throughout. Nice job!

    • #56825
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Nice work. It came across as conversational and easy to listen to for a self help tape, and you interpreted the copy well. One thing that might enhance the read is making the quotation slightly different from the rest, or more clearly emphasized- it will help draw the listener in, you can accent the humor in it even more, and it will let the listener know what words are your own versus the quotation.

      • #57331
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Hello isabrandon30, I will echo what others have said here, in that your voice is very soothing to listen to. One thought is perhaps to vary your pitch or tone a little for “Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life, you would have been instructed where to go and what to do.”

      • #56951
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Good recording quality. CYeschenko, I thought you sounded like a great motivational speaker for someone who needs more self-confidence.

  • #57127

    <span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Would love some feedback on this practice script. Feedback on vocal performance and recording space if you could. Thanks!
    Script:</span>

    <span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Skechers Arch Fit</span>

    <span style=”font-weight: 400;”>We put a lot of stress on our feet, it’s no wonder they ache. Introducing arch fit from Skechers. Arch fit distributes pressure across the arch providing balance and support to make walking more comfortable. Plus they’re even machine washable. Try a pair from skechers.com</span>

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    • #57210
      JackStansbury
      Participant

      Nice job! I think you hit a nice tone for this read and the tempo feels perfect. I think one area you could work on with this read would be a smoother delivery. There are parts of this read that sound a bit staccato (“We put a lot. of stress. on our feet.”, “Arch fit distributes pressure. across the arch…”) In normal conversation (which seems to be the kind of vibe this script is going for) we don’t really do this – we think in complete phrases and move through them smoothly while speaking, so you could try doing some reads where instead of performing in front of the mic you try to talk to it the same way you’d talk to a friend about your sore feet and these sick shoes that feel amazing!!!

    • #57129

      Looks like this forum has a little bit of a bug, no matter! Here is what I said originally:

      Would love some feedback on this practice script. Feedback on vocal performance and recording space if you could. Thanks!

      We put a lot of stress on our feet, it’s no wonder they ache. Introducing arch fit from Skechers. Arch fit distributes pressure across the arch providing balance and support to make walking more comfortable. Plus they’re even machine washable. Try a pair from skechers.com

      • #57139
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I think your performance was great for a commercial. Your recording space seems to be good so far. I like how there’s no hiss or humming in the background and I can hear your talent in the practice script.

        Hope this was helpful,

        -SL

  • #57123
    Sarania
    Participant

    Hello All,

    Just one more. I would love some feedback on this one as I am really trying to pick the correct tone for the script. I sometimes struggle with more serious scripts.

    Thanks so much,

    Sarania

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    • #57181
      Sarania
      Participant

      Script:
      Social Security
      Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family – this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security Income benefits.

  • #57121
    Sarania
    Participant

    Hi All,

    This was another that I think I did well with but would love any feedback.

    Thanks so much,

    Sarania

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    • #57255
      irvj
      Participant

      Hi Sarania, I thought your tone was great. I liked the use of inflection. One thing that caught my ear was in the first line, you sort of combined “is an” together and then it occurred again in the second line with “in a 1945 survey”. I might be nitpicking here but in the 3rd line, “Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because…” a short pause after the second Betty to emphasize her name. Just a thought. Great read otherwise!

    • #57180
      Sarania
      Participant

      Script:

      Betty Crocker
      Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt. She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion in which users completed a puzzle to win a pin cushion. Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker. The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.

    • #57138
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Hi Sarania,

      Very good performance. Again, like the previous recording, it sounds like a good narration of an essay. I like how there’s no background noises and that I can hear you perfectly with your delivery. My only critique is that you include a script for the audience to follow along with.

      hope this helps,

      -SL

  • #57119
    Sarania
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Working on a different tone here than what I am used to. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

    Thanks so much,

    Sarania

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    • #57236
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Sarania! Great read! You had a nice flow, and a range in tone.

      As for the quality of the recording, I heard some clicks and pops. Can you hear them?

      Kathy

    • #57137
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Hi Sarania, I like how you posted this recording in time for Halloween. I wish you had attached a script for the audience to follow along with. The performance is very clear. I like how there’s no background noise and that I can hear your narration very well. I imagine this is possibly a documentary, maybe an audiobook essay? Your delivery reminds me of Stephen King’s book, “Danse Maccabre” where he talks about Horror films being junk food and what scares people the most etc.  Keep up the good work!

      • #57179
        Sarania
        Participant

        Hi SuperLuke,

        Thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it. You’re right, I forgot to post the script. Here it is:

        About Horror
        Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.
        Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.

  • #57114
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Practicing sounding calmer, more inviting, and retrospective. Mostly just trying to focus on more effectively conveying non-humor emotions in my voice. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

    Script:

    Things that never get old; enjoying the warm crackle of a fire under a clear sky full of stars. Stepping out of your tent in the morning and taking a deep breath of fresh cool, air. And that first sip of the perfect cup of coffee to start your day. Gevalia Coffee – Discover your perfect cup.
    <div class=”bbp-attachments”></div>

    • #57118
      Sarania
      Participant

      Hi leenaji,

      I don’t see your recording here. I don’t think it attached properly. Would love to hear it.

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