[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.

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[kfvoice]

Hi everybody! I am looking for feedback for this documentary read to prepare for my narration demo. Any feedback is appreciated!

Documentaries

About Horror

Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.

Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.

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[mkell755]

Hi Kfvoice! Interesting read. I wanted to hear a little more variation in the tone, but I agree that documentaries can be tricky to not oversell / over emphasize what you are talking about. Maybe just pick a few words to emphasize here and there? I’m new to this, so feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Good read!

[BrianWigginsVO]

First: “Take a trip”…the “a” should be a short “a”, like “ah”, not a long “a” like the Canadian “eh”.

Second…it comes across overall as rather flat. There isn’t much in the way of change in inflection, and I’m not getting any emotion behind this. Try to find the important words and ways to emphasize them by changing the inflection. Try to find who this read is for, and talk to them.

Also, the second part of the first sentence really feels mashed together, like you’re rushing through it. Slow it down, let it breathe.

[kfvoice]

Thanks for the feedback, Brian!

Pronunciation: I am trying hard to work on the pronunciations. I live in the northeast, and I have really become aware of dialect as a result of starting the program.

First sentence: This was the slowest read of my practice. I feel like if I go any slower, I’ll sound too choppy, but, I’m definitely trying to find the balance. I almost felt like this sentence really needed a micro-pause in it.

Flat: I do have a rather monotone voice. I’m pretty chill, so reflecting enthusiasm into copy is something I’m practicing to convey. I think I’m trying too hard to remember everything. It is important to interpret the script, to find ones audience, but picturing them in my mind is throwing me off for some reason. When watching documentaries, narrating voices usually sound flat to me; not much emotion. Is it just me who hears that?

Thank you for the constructive criticism!

[BrianWigginsVO]

No worries, and I’m from the NE as well, so I feel your pain. I actually had someone tell me about 12 years ago when I first tried getting into VO that my accent was “too thick” and that he couldn’t ever work with me again (after he paid me $30 for what should have been around $150 worth of work). Don’t worry, it will all come together with patience and practice. Are you working with any of the coaches through Edge? The ones I’ve been fortunate enough to work with have been awesome and really helped me along.

[mkell755]

Hello all! I am looking for feedback for my upcoming commercial demo. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Jaguar
I was born fast. Faster than those who would challenge me. I was born strong. Quiet in confidence. And blessed with might. I was born with instinctive quickness. Quick to recognize. To adapt. To respond. Quick to be quick. I was born to be seen by everything but the wind. I was born at the beginning of the last century, but I am undoubtedly of the next century. I am Jaguar. Born to perform.

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[BrianWigginsVO]

There’s some inflection there, but I’m not really getting any emotion from the read, overall.

What are the qualities of Jaguar that you are trying to convey? What does the brand say about the person who drives this car? Find those emotional touch points, and find the words that emphasize that image and emotion and give it more punch.

Also, is this a scratch track (it’s OK if it is) or is this the equipment you will be recording on? If it’s the latter, I can hear a lot of compression, so there is a lot of body missing from your voice.

[mkell755]

Hi BrianWiggins, thanks for the feedback, very helpful. I’m just getting started, and this recording was done on my phone in the closet in an attempt to make the background completely silent (due to the quiet tone of the read implied), so yes this is not the equipment I will use to record. Thanks again!

[fleishman619]

Hi All,

Looking for feedback on these two performances for a narration demo (food network-type script). Also, feedback on which copy you believe suits me better would be super helpful!

Script 1: Tito’s cranks every hour that it’s open. Whether you’re rubbing shoulders with the mechanic or the mayor, everyone can agree that while they may not be the most authentic Mexican street food, the hard shell tacos and bean and cheese burritos are the most authentic So-Cal interpretation of a taco. Taste on and you’ll see why—it’s comfort food at its best.
Script 2: Pack up the chowder or take the lobster roll to-go, because the blondie sundae at Connie & Ted’s is worth saving room for. The warm blondie comes topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and the whole shebang is doused in a fabulously gooey caramel sauce.

Thank you!!

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[BrianWigginsVO]

Agree with the previous two folks, you seem to connect with the first script more. If you did decide to give the second one another go, I would really lay it on thick with how decadent the warm blondie is be slowing it down just a hair.

…now I need to get a taco.

[mkell755]

Hi fleishman619 – both reads were very good – good pace and energy for both. I like the first script slightly better because it showcases a nice longer sentence (the second one) that has a lot of information but flows well and is easily understandable – good reads!

[kfvoice]

I enjoyed both reads! A great job on both, however, I would go with Script 1. Just something about it. Be careful of slight micro-pauses, but otherwise, awesome work!

[fleishman619]

Hi all, I’m looking for feedback on performance. Not quality as I recorded this on my phone. Hoping to maybe use a chunk of this for my narration demo:

The Great Barrier Reef is one of the Natural Wonders of the World. It’s the world’s largest single structure formed by living organisms and can be seen from outer space. This system of coral reefs and islands supports a wide range of wildlife, including fish, birds, sharks, sea turtles, and crocodiles. One sobering statistic is that since 1985, the Great Barrier Reef has lost nearly half of its coral. The biggest threats to the reef are climate change, pollution, and overfishing.

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[mkell755]

Hi Fleishman619, great style of read for your voice! Very clear, good pace and variation of pitch. I found myself visualizing the items in the lists (birds, sharks, sea turtles and crocodiles) and really paying attention to what was being said. Great job!
Mary

[kfvoice]

Hi fleishman619 — you did a great job with the tempo in this read! I would be careful of sounding “breathy” between sentences. Understandable, as you say, it was recorded on your phone, so it does pick up the littlest sounds. Overall, you have a great voice for this style of narration. Keep it up!

[mkell755]

Hello all! Here is a test read for my upcoming commercial demo. Thank you for any and all feedback!

Functional Fitness
Welcome to our functional training series. Breaking it down, functional training is simply turning your attention to training the body for movements we perform as we go about our daily lives. Movements like standing , sitting, stepping, reaching, pushing, pulling, getting balanced. Our training series has broken down those movements into a series of workouts to help you draw attention to how you perform those activities on a daily basis. This is designed to bring your awareness to your posture and your form, to the muscle groups that allow you to work in those capacities and hopefully keep you safe and keep you strong.

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[SuperLuke]

hi mtrip09,
I like how you tried to perform Edgar Allen Poe. It was a good performance. Although, I think you can do better than that.

[mrtripo9]

Thanks Luke , I greatly appreciate yr comment, do you have specific areas you think i should work on?

[ThomasGreene]

Hello! I will potentially be using these for my first demo. Any feedback is appreciated!

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[isabrandon30]

1st Script: I think the tone fits well. The pace shifts in the middle at about 11 seconds in to a little fast but returns to a slower pace later on. Also in the beginning it feels like there’s a couple pauses that are a bit too long. Other than that I think this read is pretty good.

2nd Script: It sounded really informative! I think if you hit the names of the anchors it will make it even better. Also maybe add a little more enthusiasm to make the read really pop.

3rd Script: I agree with some others in saying this was your best one. Great energy and flow to this one. I could hear the smile in this one if that makes sense.

Keep going you are doing great! Good luck on your demo and your future recordings!

[fleishman619]

Hi there. Love your voice for all these types of copy! Keep working on being a bit more conversational. That starts with really connecting to the copy and having a specific listener in mind. That would probably help with pacing and variance in energy. Other than that I really think you did a great job!

[mkell755]

Hi ThomasGreene, I liked all 3 performances, but I feel like the third one for Opti-Green seemed to be the one that was most interesting to listen to, and that I wanted to hear more. I think it’s because your tone was a little more varied on that one, and the words that were hit stood out a little more. Your voice is warm and relaxed and suits commercial well. Good reads!

[SuperLuke]

Hi Tom, I liked all 3 performances. They seem good for a commercial demo. One suggestion, make the voices a little different from each other snd add more enthusiasm to the performances. It may attract more listeners.

[mrtripo9]

Hello every one , its my first time here am trying to get out of my shell into this amazing VO world
Here is my first post , an attempt at the “The Raven ” please need your opinion and advice, Thanks

“The Raven,” by Edgar Allen Poe<
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

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[eglover177]

I think the last copy is your best 1 although “Every scoop” should have a little more emphasis but great sound and work keep training

[kfvoice]

Hi mrtripo9! I love you attempted a poem! Great job in varying your pitch in the last verse. Be careful of micro-pauses not intended in the verses. Keep it up!

[mrtripo9]

Thanks kfvoice , your comment is greatly appreciated will keep working on it.

[TimDKietzman]

Maxwell House
Here’s to a world without bitterness. It’s our best Maxwell House ever. Now roasted with 100% Arabica beans known to be the finest coffee beans in the world for a full flavor without bitterness. It’s a new morning. Brew some good. Maxwell House.

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[mkell755]

Hi Tim – I liked this read, and you definitely have a voice that is well suited for a coffee commercial. The pace was good, and the emphasis on particular words was also good. Good read!

[isabrandon30]

Way to hit those words! I think it will sound even better if you hit a few more words throughout the script. Pace is good. I think there was an unnecessary pause after the word: “world.” Also the read sounded a bit quiet so maybe get closer to the mic or read a bit louder. Otherwise great job!

[TimDKietzman]

Hello, I uploaded this before the website’s update and it got lost to the forum. How’s my performance and is my recording setup good?

Lincoln Financial Group
I have a mother. I have a father. I even have a big brother. I don’t need someone else looking out for me. I need someone who can help me look out for myself. At Lincoln Financial Group, their goal is to make the financial world clear and understandable, so I can make informed decisions. Lincoln Financial Group. Clear solutions in a complex world.

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[mkell755]

Hi TimDKietzman! Good style of read for your voice, pace of the read and emphasis on key words.

[kfvoice]

Hi Tim! I thought your pace in the reading was great. It sounds like you need a slight pause between these sentences: I don’t need someone else looking out for me. I need someone who can help me look out for myself. I did hear some “clicking”, too, a combination between speaking some words and equipment. I hope this helps!

[Author]

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