Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This was so fun!! Ladies this ones for you 😉 Any feedback is appreciated, thank you. I put this script together based on a recent ad with Amy Schumer
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Audition Feedback
Hoping to submit this ASAP, so any feedback regarding delivery will be very helpful. Three scripts all with the same direction: “In a tone that’s intellectual and energetic”.
Script 1:
Doctors specialize in treating patients, not negotiating drug contracts and rates.
That’s where GPOs come in – to serve physicians.
Smart GPOs rely on data to ensure providers have access to the right therapeutic choices at the best value.Script 2:
Distribution is the critical link between pharmaceutical manufacturers and healthcare providers
Because AmerisourceBergen offers specialty distribution to its partners,
we understand that a specialty distributor has knowledge of their patient base and specific needs of specialty physician practices.Script 3:
At a time when health systems are challenged to maximize revenue capture, Drug reimbursement requirements are changing and complex.
Even with an increased focus on this area, it can be difficult for a health system to have a holistic view of the revenue cycle and its complexities, spanning everything from drug procurement to reimbursement.-
Brian, great work on these, good inflections although some seem a bit contrived or maybe too upward in inflection on sentence ending? Only other thought on improvement would be like so many of us have, is glottal stops or I call squeezing of words which come out distorted ie; manufacturers in script 2 and complex in first sentence of script 3, hope that helps and good luck.
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Hey another ad practice script for me. Thanks so much! I would love performance and space notes for this one.
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Love the tone and your delivery on this…there was a real earnestness to it. Maybe slow down like 3.6% (but that’s just one opinion, take it for what it’s worth), and the only real note I have is that the end tag is really rushed, especially to your nearly dead-on pacing with the rest of it. But other than that, great!
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The last line, the call to action, is super rushed. Slow that down so that we can hear it. But your tone is great, and for the rest, I loved the pacing and your inflections.
Just to offer a contrast point to Kathy above, as she’s not wrong about “to” versus “ta”, my coach told me that sometimes, “ta” is OK, depending on the tone of the script, and as long as it isn’t being completely lost. In this case, it didn’t bother me, so here you would have a case of two different “casting directors” looking for different things.
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Hi, just going back on some auditions for clean-up and add to my demo reels, your thoughts are welcome!
Are some people just “naturals”? Child prodigies miraculously gifted in ways we aren’t? Once in a lifetime talents? We see their performance and assume we could never achieve that. Because they must have something we don’t. Or they’re simply better than us. Or smarter. Or faster.
Or could it be that they are just like us-except they know a secret. The secret to unleashing an untapped but limitless power. Greatest of all time power. World changing power.
It’s a power that is in fact already in you-just waiting to be ignited. A power to become exceptional in whatever you dare to dream.-
I agree with previous comments. You do have a nice quality to your voice for a read like this, however I don’t believe you are connecting to the copy. Who are you speaking to here and why are you talking about it? If you can put yourself into a situation where this makes sense. Maybe you are talking to your child/neice who feels like they are not as good as their friends at ______. Find someone you can speak to on a gut level about such an important message. There were a few pauses within your sentences as well: “Child prodigies (pause) miraculously.” “they must have something (pause) we don’t. You can work on smoothing out those thoughts as well. It is good to emphasize the word “something” but you can do it with your emotion. Just some thoughts however random they are lol! Hope this was helpful.
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Love your tone and texture, definitely has some natural gravitas to it. To that end, though, I don’t feel your connection to the script; it feels “read” as opposed to “delivered”, it that makes any sense. Given the material, this should have weight to it, right? That’s where you have to use your natural tools (that voice of yours) and bring some more performance to it. Let it breath a bit, give it more variety in emphasis.
Also, is this a bit long for a demo? I don’t know what yours will be like when it’s complete, but the one I had produced through Edge for narration was 6 scripts, each at about 18 seconds long to offer a variety of tone and delivery. But if you are making this as a stand-alone piece, than having multiple reads doesn’t matter, I suppose.
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Hi all, I’m practicing for my commercial demo, and would appreciate your feedback! Thanks in advance, Carla
Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves. -
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Hello all! Looking for feedback to this read, on one of my favorite subjects! Any and all feedback would be great. Thank you!
Sam Adams Beer
No matter how hard you try, you can not twist off the bottle cap of a Sam Adams. All that Sam Adams flavor is locked beneath a twenty one crimp bottle cap. So you’ll need a bottle cap opener to get at it…at the very least. Sam Adams, a better glass of beer.-
Hi there, I love your wry tone, and obvious love for the subject matter! I would say keep it moving as much as you can, there’s no need to slow down to make sure we understand the twenty one crimp bottle cap- because you help us out on the very next line! I think you could experiment going even further with a kind of ‘no-nonsense’ read, and find out who this character is, that really loves sam adams beer! Great work.
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Hi Carla, thanks for the feedback! I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how many crimps are on a bottle cap, but now I know, so I think I was just making sure others knew too 🙂 I will experiment with an even more no-nonsense read; great suggestion. All of the beer people I know are characters, so that should not be too difficult. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi all! Here’s another commercial read as I prep for my upcoming demo (this is not on the demo but just practicing nonetheless) Thanks for any feedback! 🙂
KatelynTrue Car
I’m ready to buy a car. And you know what? I’m excited about it.
When I use True Car, I can find the car I want and see what other people paid for it.
Then, I can connect with a true car certified dealer.
So by the time I get to the lot, we have the same information and we’re on the same page.
It really is that easy.
This is how car buying was meant to be.
This is True Car.-
Hi Katelyn! I really liked this read! Great pacing, enunciation and emphasis on the appropriate words. Your voice is very believable for this script. Great job!
Mary
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Hi Chase, I liked the read and pace of the script. Your voice is well-suited to this type of script. It sounded like the word “guide” was really stretched out to me; I think it could have been phrased “guide and protect” vs.”guiiiide”. I don’t know if that helps or makes sense; just being a little nitpicky with what sounded out of place to my ear after listening 4 times. Otherwise a good read!
Mary
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Hey there! Nice tone of voice for this kind of read, and your recording quality is great! I found the read a little one dimensional. Perhaps you are not connecting to the copy? You could think about who you are talking to, and why you are excited about this particular insurance company. Is it life insurance for yourself so your family will be taken care of? Try to think of who you are in this copy and who you are talking to! I think this will help you naturally vary your tone and your emotion will come out more. Keep working on it! 🙂
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