Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
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November 18, 2020 at 3:01 pm #58001
swy619
ParticipantTwo very contrasting scripts here. Had fun testing different genres. Feedback appreciated. Peace and thanks!
Kids Activity TV
Every day is an adventure with Activity TV. It’s the place to be for
hundreds of Awesome activities in dozens of categories! Cartooning to
magic to cooking and more – ready for you day or night. This month
learn some gross out magic. Watch closely as Ryan teaches you to
perform the severed finger trick!
Meditation
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine.
With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows
on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath
for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the
point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of
eight. Repeat three to six times.Attachments:
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November 20, 2020 at 10:35 pm #58114
mkell755
ParticipantHi Swy619! I really liked both of these reads for you. They were very different from each other and both very believable. Good pace and excitement for the first read and lots of variation in tone. For the second script it was great – it contained more pauses and breathiness which was very appropriate for that read. Great job!
Mary
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November 20, 2020 at 12:19 pm #58087
SuperLuke
ParticipantWow! The meditation recording was great, relaxed, really worked, convincing and more. The other performance with the kids show was nice too.
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November 18, 2020 at 7:19 pm #58013
svenbot5000
ParticipantHi! I have some feedback for your kids tv read. Your higher pitch definitely helps sell the enthusiasm! I would try changing up the pacing of the read next time. An enhanced pace would help hook any kids listening to this want to tune in. Your tone kind of lowers when you say “Dozens” as well, I would raise it instead to emphasize the amount of categories. Keep up the good work!
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November 18, 2020 at 2:55 pm #57999
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantThis was so fun!! Ladies this ones for you 😉 Any feedback is appreciated, thank you. I put this script together based on a recent ad with Amy Schumer
Attachments:
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November 23, 2020 at 7:36 am #58188
docr15
Participantkatelyndawnvo, excellent read! I can’t really find any negative to say. This was smooth, natural and easy to listen to. Recording quality was great. This is a TV/Radio quality read in my humble opinion.
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November 20, 2020 at 9:58 am #58079
AndreaC
ParticipantVery clear and friendly!
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November 19, 2020 at 5:49 pm #58062
irvj
ParticipantTotally agree with BrianWigginsVO. I hear this, I see this ad on the tube. I liked the way you changed pitch, it gave a more conspiratorial feel, like, “just between us”…Great job!
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November 19, 2020 at 3:40 pm #58055
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantAw shucks, thanks you guys! <3
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November 19, 2020 at 10:09 am #58033
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantGreat job! I could definitely hear that as an actual campaign.
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November 18, 2020 at 8:26 pm #58018
mkell755
ParticipantLove this Katelyn! Agree with the comment before, sounds very relatable and authentic – I believe you!! Your voice sounds really good for this commercial – very well done!
Mary
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November 18, 2020 at 4:24 pm #58011
NoreenQuadir
ParticipantI love it! It sounds very relatable as if a friend is talking to me.
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November 18, 2020 at 10:43 am #57983
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantAudition Feedback
Hoping to submit this ASAP, so any feedback regarding delivery will be very helpful. Three scripts all with the same direction: “In a tone that’s intellectual and energetic”.
Script 1:
Doctors specialize in treating patients, not negotiating drug contracts and rates.
That’s where GPOs come in – to serve physicians.
Smart GPOs rely on data to ensure providers have access to the right therapeutic choices at the best value.Script 2:
Distribution is the critical link between pharmaceutical manufacturers and healthcare providers
Because AmerisourceBergen offers specialty distribution to its partners,
we understand that a specialty distributor has knowledge of their patient base and specific needs of specialty physician practices.Script 3:
At a time when health systems are challenged to maximize revenue capture, Drug reimbursement requirements are changing and complex.
Even with an increased focus on this area, it can be difficult for a health system to have a holistic view of the revenue cycle and its complexities, spanning everything from drug procurement to reimbursement.Attachments:
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November 18, 2020 at 3:05 pm #58004
RYoung
ParticipantBrian, great work on these, good inflections although some seem a bit contrived or maybe too upward in inflection on sentence ending? Only other thought on improvement would be like so many of us have, is glottal stops or I call squeezing of words which come out distorted ie; manufacturers in script 2 and complex in first sentence of script 3, hope that helps and good luck.
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November 18, 2020 at 11:32 pm #58022
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantThat’s helpful, thanks…I’ll have to give it another listen to see where I was doing that.
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November 18, 2020 at 3:45 am #57975
mrchaseatherton@gmail.com
ParticipantHey another ad practice script for me. Thanks so much! I would love performance and space notes for this one.
Attachments:
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November 20, 2020 at 10:19 am #58084
RYoung
ParticipantI like your natural and informative delivery style. I think it would work well in PSAs. Although this is a retail clothing commercial you may want to perk up the ending somewhat with a smile if you know what I mean, good work on this and thanks for sharing!
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November 18, 2020 at 10:45 am #57987
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantLove the tone and your delivery on this…there was a real earnestness to it. Maybe slow down like 3.6% (but that’s just one opinion, take it for what it’s worth), and the only real note I have is that the end tag is really rushed, especially to your nearly dead-on pacing with the rest of it. But other than that, great!
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November 18, 2020 at 3:42 am #57973
mrchaseatherton@gmail.com
ParticipantThis is a practice script for my coaching sessions. Voice and recording setup notes are both great!
Attachments:
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November 18, 2020 at 10:46 am #57988
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantSame notes as above…great tone, maybe a tad slower, especially at the end when you’re giving the website address. Who are you working with, if you don’t mind me asking?
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November 18, 2020 at 2:17 am #57964
mrchaseatherton@gmail.com
ParticipantHey y’all! Been working on this commercial a bit. Let me know notes on performance!
Attachments:
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November 19, 2020 at 10:13 am #58034
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantThe last line, the call to action, is super rushed. Slow that down so that we can hear it. But your tone is great, and for the rest, I loved the pacing and your inflections.
Just to offer a contrast point to Kathy above, as she’s not wrong about “to” versus “ta”, my coach told me that sometimes, “ta” is OK, depending on the tone of the script, and as long as it isn’t being completely lost. In this case, it didn’t bother me, so here you would have a case of two different “casting directors” looking for different things.
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November 19, 2020 at 12:33 am #58025
kfvoice
ParticipantI like your tone in all your reads. In this particular one, I will give feedback — slow it down slightly (I have struggled with this in my narration reads), and enunciate clearer on “to”. It sounded like “ta” — I have to catch myself with this also. I hope this helps.
Kathy
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November 17, 2020 at 11:42 pm #57956
RYoung
ParticipantHi, just going back on some auditions for clean-up and add to my demo reels, your thoughts are welcome!
Are some people just “naturals”? Child prodigies miraculously gifted in ways we aren’t? Once in a lifetime talents? We see their performance and assume we could never achieve that. Because they must have something we don’t. Or they’re simply better than us. Or smarter. Or faster.
Or could it be that they are just like us-except they know a secret. The secret to unleashing an untapped but limitless power. Greatest of all time power. World changing power.
It’s a power that is in fact already in you-just waiting to be ignited. A power to become exceptional in whatever you dare to dream.Attachments:
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November 18, 2020 at 1:39 pm #57992
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantI agree with previous comments. You do have a nice quality to your voice for a read like this, however I don’t believe you are connecting to the copy. Who are you speaking to here and why are you talking about it? If you can put yourself into a situation where this makes sense. Maybe you are talking to your child/neice who feels like they are not as good as their friends at ______. Find someone you can speak to on a gut level about such an important message. There were a few pauses within your sentences as well: “Child prodigies (pause) miraculously.” “they must have something (pause) we don’t. You can work on smoothing out those thoughts as well. It is good to emphasize the word “something” but you can do it with your emotion. Just some thoughts however random they are lol! Hope this was helpful.
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katelyndawnvo.
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November 18, 2020 at 10:50 am #57989
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantLove your tone and texture, definitely has some natural gravitas to it. To that end, though, I don’t feel your connection to the script; it feels “read” as opposed to “delivered”, it that makes any sense. Given the material, this should have weight to it, right? That’s where you have to use your natural tools (that voice of yours) and bring some more performance to it. Let it breath a bit, give it more variety in emphasis.
Also, is this a bit long for a demo? I don’t know what yours will be like when it’s complete, but the one I had produced through Edge for narration was 6 scripts, each at about 18 seconds long to offer a variety of tone and delivery. But if you are making this as a stand-alone piece, than having multiple reads doesn’t matter, I suppose.
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November 17, 2020 at 10:38 pm #57947
carlakissane
ParticipantHi all, I’m practicing for my commercial demo, and would appreciate your feedback! Thanks in advance, Carla
Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.-
This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by
carlakissane. Reason: Forgot to include the script!
Attachments:
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November 19, 2020 at 12:50 am #58026
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Carla! Great pace and overall tone. I would suggest emphasizing “HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS” a little more. It does jump out on the script (as the product), so perhaps vary your pitch and tone, and make your audience know why you are excited! I hope this helps. Nice read!
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November 17, 2020 at 11:58 pm #57958
RYoung
ParticipantGreat read and enthusiasm on this. I think you delivery sounded believable as well. only critique would be the last sentence, which is important, your inflection went down on “loves”, though easy fix, I would just highlight family and keep loves even, if that makes sense.
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November 17, 2020 at 10:53 pm #57952
mkell755
ParticipantHi Carla! I really liked this read! The energy and flow was great, and the emphasis on several words was very appropriate. It sounded like you were smiling during the script too, which works very well for this type of script and for your voice. Good job!
Mary
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This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by
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November 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm #57943
mkell755
ParticipantHello all! Looking for feedback to this read, on one of my favorite subjects! Any and all feedback would be great. Thank you!
Sam Adams Beer
No matter how hard you try, you can not twist off the bottle cap of a Sam Adams. All that Sam Adams flavor is locked beneath a twenty one crimp bottle cap. So you’ll need a bottle cap opener to get at it…at the very least. Sam Adams, a better glass of beer.Attachments:
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November 17, 2020 at 10:36 pm #57945
carlakissane
ParticipantHi there, I love your wry tone, and obvious love for the subject matter! I would say keep it moving as much as you can, there’s no need to slow down to make sure we understand the twenty one crimp bottle cap- because you help us out on the very next line! I think you could experiment going even further with a kind of ‘no-nonsense’ read, and find out who this character is, that really loves sam adams beer! Great work.
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November 17, 2020 at 10:58 pm #57953
mkell755
ParticipantHi Carla, thanks for the feedback! I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how many crimps are on a bottle cap, but now I know, so I think I was just making sure others knew too 🙂 I will experiment with an even more no-nonsense read; great suggestion. All of the beer people I know are characters, so that should not be too difficult. Thanks again!
Mary
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November 17, 2020 at 9:46 pm #57932
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHi all! Here’s another commercial read as I prep for my upcoming demo (this is not on the demo but just practicing nonetheless) Thanks for any feedback! 🙂
KatelynTrue Car
I’m ready to buy a car. And you know what? I’m excited about it.
When I use True Car, I can find the car I want and see what other people paid for it.
Then, I can connect with a true car certified dealer.
So by the time I get to the lot, we have the same information and we’re on the same page.
It really is that easy.
This is how car buying was meant to be.
This is True Car.Attachments:
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November 17, 2020 at 9:50 pm #57934
mkell755
ParticipantHi Katelyn! I really liked this read! Great pacing, enunciation and emphasis on the appropriate words. Your voice is very believable for this script. Great job!
Mary
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November 18, 2020 at 2:49 pm #57998
AndreaC
ParticipantI love your energy and enunciation! Very believable.
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November 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm #57936
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantThanks Mary! 🙂 <3
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