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This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
Good evening all! I’m looking for feedback on my read. I’m trying to work on keeping the diction clear without sounding weird – “and” instead of “n”. Any and all feedback would be great. Thanks!
Mary
Amtrak
So much beauty in one place! America is a great country, and we’ve got the best way to see it. Amtrak “Explore America” fares. Round trips from one hundred and seventy nine dollars all across America. It’s a great country at a great price. Call 1-800-USA-RAIL now about Amtrak “Explore America” fares.
Your dictation was clear in your read, although try a little longer micro-pause after your first sentence. I listened a couple of times, and you sounded rushed leading into the second sentence compared to the others. I could tell there were certain words you were trying to vary your tone and pitch with — just a little more oomph and enthusiasm, and you’ve got it! I could hear a noise in the background — are you recording with a mic yet?
Hi Kathy! Thanks for your feedback. A pause after the first sentence makes sense. I had to do several re-takes before I got it to a point that I wanted to upload. At that point I probably was rushing a little more than I should have. More oomph, and enthusiasm, got it! I struggle with this as I want to sound authentic, and not too over the top; it sounds like it comes out differently than in my head! 🙂 No, I don’t have a mic yet; hope to be getting one soon. So far these have been recordings on my phone. Thanks again!
Totally understand wanting to sound authentic without the read sounding over the top. I literally have to remember to “smile” when reading; being a little more animated (talking with my hands!), or sometimes standing up for longer reads works better for me.
Thanks for the tips Kathy! Yes, I forget that standing and even moving my hands during a read can help me. Smiling too if the script is meant to be enthusiastic like this one. Thanks!
Hi Mary,
I think your reading was clear and understandable and also sounded smooth and natural. For this particular script, I might suggest putting some more emphasis on the first mention of “Amtrak,” but overall, nice read!
-Sarah
Hi Sarah, thanks for the feedback! I’m glad that it sounded understandable and smooth. More emphasis on Amtrack, the product I’m trying to sell makes sense, I will work on hitting important words with more emphasis. Thanks again!
Good evening everyone! I’m posting a quick practice reading to get ready for my next coaching session. Any performance feedback is greatly appreciated. Oh and I am aware of any background noise, I could not use my booth at the moment. Thank you very much and have a nice day!
Litter Robot
Meet the Litter Robot. Yes, the litter robot. The highest rated self cleaning automatic litter box in the world. It does all the d***y work for you.
Hi Svenbot5000! I liked the read. It had a good pace and was catchy, it almost felt like a rhyme by the time the third “litter” was said. It seems like a good type of read for your voice. Good job!
Mary
Hi Aprildawn! I liked the read. It sounds like there is a slight hum in the background, but it had a good flow and pace and variation in pitch. Good read!
Mary
Uploading my first samples for Demo release. Please let me know what you think?
How To – Magnify Text, Windows 10
Here’s how to change the size of text, images, and apps in Windows 10.
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To zoom in or zoom out on parts of your screen in Windows 10, use Magnifier. To turn on Magnifier, press the Windows logo key and Plus (+). Zoom in by continuing to press the Windows logo key and Plus (+). Zoom out by pressing the Windows logo key and Minus (-). To turn off Magnifier, press the Windows logo key and Esc.
Hi Jacob! I liked the read and your voice seems well suited for this. It did seem a little rushed in places, like you were trying to get to the end of the read quickly. It might sound too slow to you as you are reading it, but since it is a tutorial, I think a little slower pace with a few more pauses at the end of a thought would work well. It was also very quiet on my end; I had to turn my volume way up to hear it. Good read!
Mary
Hi April Dawn! I liked both of these reads. For the first script, I heard a few extra inhaled breaths (after the first sentence in particular, and also after “stratosphere”). I liked the second script as well too, your voice seems very well-suited for these types of reads. Good job!
Mary
Hi aprildawn,
I think your Whitney Houston read was very strong. Good pace and pitch variation. In general, I really like the quality of your voice and find it well-suited for these documentary reads. I might suggest practicing the flow for the Marie Antoinette script. It almost sounded like you were starting a new sentence at “accused of crimes,” when it was still the middle of the thought. Also, maybe less emphasis on “there” and more on “remained” in the next sentence. Nice tone and style though. Thanks for bringing these!
-Sarah
Hi there! I tried posting this one but I don’t think it took! lol Here is a new read. any feedback is appreciated! Trying to consistently post in my “wheelhouse” of friendly, youthful, energetic. This is a read for Spotify.
Hello everybody! I’m looking for feedback on this read for enunciation and pacing. It’s a commercial read; not my normal narration. Thanks again!
Almond Breeze
At Almond Breeze, we only use California grown Blue Diamond almonds in our almond milk. And we’re proud of that. But the whole caring and nurturing part? That idea we borrowed from nature. Blue Diamond Almond Breeze, the best almonds make the best almond milk.
Hi Kathy! I liked this read. I think your enunciation and pace of the read were good. There seemed to be a lot of emphasis on drawing out the word “almond” many times (like “aaalmond”), and I guess for an almond commercial that’s good, but it was noticeable since almond is mentioned 6 times. I like how you stretched out “whole” to make the caring and nurturing part stand out. These are nitpicky things on my part. Great read!
Mary
Hi Kungfu23! I was having trouble understanding all of the words, I think it needs a little crisper enunciation. The third script for Dodge Charger was a little easier to understand all of the words that were spoken. Your tone is nice, I would just slow down the read a little and take time to read each word; some of the words sounded a little smushed together. I hope that helps!
Mary
Hi all! Looking for feedback on these 2 scripts. Any and all feedback is welcome! Trying to vary my pitch without sounding too over the top. Thanks! Mary
Script 1: Real Estate Educational Explainer
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one. Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run. But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house. Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.
Script 2: Zeller’s [Local commercial, fast read, high energy]
Summer’s really heating up! Get into Zellers for our biggest event under the sun. Save up to 70 percent on a great selection of men’s, kid’s and ladies’ apparel and footwear. So hurry into Zellers – because savings like these don’t last forever.
Hi Mary,
I think you did a good job with pitch variation, and you sounded interested in the material. When you got to the phrase, “and in most cases,” the “and” and “in,” were hard to tell apart. I know you’ve said you’re working on this kind of thing, enunciation without sounding unnatural. I wonder if it could be helpful to think of sliding the “d”from “and” into the beginning of the following word, if it begins with a vowel, like “an din.” I feel like that could be helpful, but perhaps a coach could weigh in on that.
I feel your Zellers read had good energy to it, suitable for that commercial genre. Nice Job!
Thanks for the feedback Sarah! Yes, I definitely need to work on truncating my “and” to “n”. I will check with my coach on the best way to make that sound natural without over-emphasis (what it sounds like in my head!) or rushing ahead. Glad the energy came out for Zeller’s, wanted it to sound a little more high energy than the first script. Thank you!
Hi Sarah! This is a delightful read. I really enjoyed listening to you, you sound cute as a button. Here are my constructive bits. I think it started out a little shaky at the start, there was a long deep breath and pause here: “even people who don’t like fish (breath) have been known to like this fish.” And it would be best to keep that as one thought without pauses. Try pausing between ideas. Of course, we need to breathe but try to be strategic in where you would take those breaths so it doesn’t take the listener out. The part in the middle had me enthralled – specifically the bits about the “blazing bonfire and salted water – crisp smell.” LOVELY. I would say when editing something like this, you can listen back and anywhere there are very loud obvious and distracting breaths you can just drop the volume on those. Great work, I really enjoyed it! 🙂
This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by katelyndawnvo.
Hi Sarah! I liked this read and your voice is well-suited for this sort of copy. The tempo was good and I found myself visualizing the fish over the fire. Good emphasis on several words to keep it interesting and varied throughout the read. A minute is long, but it did not seem long because of the way you read it. Great job! Mary