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  • #58082
    AndreaC
    Participant

    Hello! I have trouble being too theatrical, energetic and expressive, so I tried to tone it down. I am going for a more “natural” quality, and would appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advance!

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    • #58187
      docr15
      Participant

      AndreaC, I think that sounded very natural. Recording quality was great. Nice and smooth read.

    • #58107
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Andrea! I like your voice and your take on this script. There were some words that trailed off and got really quiet and very low at the end “…about the last one” for example. Overall very natural tone and good for your voice!

      Mary

      • #58129
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thanks so much, Mary! I am really working on the “natural” aspect. I agree- I can hear where I trailed off too early. Thanks so much for your feedback!

        • #58136
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Andrea! I also have to work on sounding natural, with enough emphasis but not over the top – it’s a fine balance! If I happen to like or have some direct experience about the subject matter (in this case about making mistakes when buying a house – I have done that!) it has helped me. Good work and keep it up!

          Mary

    • #58091
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi Andrea, I really love the tone and timbre of your voice. You sound like a very mature put-together adult. A mom and a professional. I would believe you if you were talking about medical things or insurance. I know you weren’t asking that but that’s what I think of when I hear your voice. The first part of this read felt like the energy/tone was just too low but once you say “Listen… I love real estate…” I think from that point on you are hitting a nice “natural, chill, but still interested” vibe. Nice work!

      • #58130
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thank you so much!I appreciate your examples- that is what I will be going for in the future. I agree- too low energy at first. Thanks for your feedback!

    • #58085
      RYoung
      Participant

      Excellent work on this Andrea! Your voice is calm and reassuring as well! I can only find 2 words that seemed off, one is the word “you” in the first sentence and “run” in
      “long run”. Otherwise I think it was pretty spot on and realistic.

      • #58131
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thank you! Great articulation catches! I was trying to mitigate my outrageous Boston accent, and the “you” definitely came off as “yah”- I definitely have more to work on. Thanks so much for your kind words!

  • #58068
    RYoung
    Participant

    I finished revising one of my demo reels with the help from the old feedback forum! Any comments are welcome, thanks!

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    • #58117
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks Mary, appreciate your evaluation!

    • #58070
      RYoung
      Participant

      Not sure if I did this right but was trying to edit my latest script. The newer one is obviously the revised recording due to the first one missing ending of last recording.
      Thanks!

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      • #58108
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi RYoung! Your voice sounds really good for the selected commercials, very warm and clear tone that resonates and sounds very trustworthy. Great job!

        Mary

        • #58116
          RYoung
          Participant

          Thanks Mary,appreciate your thoughts!

        • #58139
          mkell755
          Participant

          Sure, you are welcome! 🙂

          Mary

  • #58064
    RYoung
    Participant

    Some narration work with an excerpt from Mary Shelly’s “frankenstein” I realize I mispronounced “precipitous”.
    “I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.

    This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.” (16.19-20)

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by RYoung.
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    • #58154
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks to the three of you for taking time to listen! Yea this is acting and more difficult for me than a short commercial would be, yet I find it intriguing.

    • #58143
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi RYoung! Great read – good pace, flow and enunciation and it sounds very well-produced. I think you could get into character a little more; some of the thoughts seemed to be presented as if you were telling a light-hearted story, not rescuing someone from death. So that could mean a little more variation in tone to get your point across (I’m working on that myself). The sentence that starts with “This was then my reward…” could sound a little more angry than the first part – you are stunned by how much it hurts to try to save someone only to be shot as a reward for your good act, like what would that really feel like? “…playfully fled.” sounded more like “…playfully fled?” Overall really good read. Keep it up!

      Mary

    • #58089
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi there,
      Nice read. Sounds well-produced, and your voice is nice and clear, authoritative and precise. I do think the flow could be better. There were times where it sounded like you had reached the end of a thought, as in after “restore animation,” which of course is not the end of that sentence, and then after “playfully fled,” it sounded like there, you were not done with the thought, though it is in fact the end of the sentence. There’s also a spot later on where I think it would make more sense to pause more after the phrase “which he carried,” and not so much before it. I think that could help listeners to properly interpret the meaning of the sentence on first listen.
      Hope this might be helpful and hope I’m making sense. Thanks for sharing this narration. Good work!

    • #58078
      AndreaC
      Participant

      Very controlled but natural pace. Expressive, yet natural and strong- I’m working on that!

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by AndreaC.
  • #58053
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    I’ve really been enjoying just writing some of my own scripts – helps the creative juices flow. Have a great day. Any feedback is appreciated!

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    • #58072
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn! Very good read, and great script! Flow was nice and conversational. Great job!

      Mary

    • #58059
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn!

      Nice read —- the pace was even, and I could hear the variation in tone.

      As a creative person, I’ve really enjoyed writing my own scripts, too —- I believe it helps with the enthusiasm! (I haven’t posted any here for feedback.)

      Keep up the good work!

      Kathy

    • #58058
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn,
      Very nice script and excellent delivery. Sounded friendly and natural. Thanks for sharing.

  • #58043
    mbarillier
    Participant

    hi — first post since the site upgrade so we’ll see how this goes ….
    three practice scripts for coaching session:

    1. Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family — this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while you’re still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security income benefits.
    2. Here we have a very simple example of a database which has users, phone numbers and bank
      accounts as entity types. In addition we have two types of relationships: phone calls from
      one phone to another, and money transfers from one bank account to another. On the left is
      a relational database schema for our simple dataset. We don’t show a separate user table
      because we don’t have any facts about users other than their phone numbers and bank account
      numbers. On the right is the graph database schema for the same use case. There are three
      vertex types (the circles) and the four edge types (the lines). We omit the details about
      what properties each vertex type or edge type has.
    3. In the sixth century B.C. Pythagoras, a Greek mathematician, is thought to have made
      accoustic experiments with a vibrating string called a monochord. Using two monochords,
      Pythagoras performed an experiment in which the string of one monochord was successively
      shortened by half (raising the pitch an octave) while the other was shortened by two thirds
      (raising the pitch a fifth). After seven octaves and twelve fifths, Pythagoras discovered
      that the B# from the second monochord was not exactly the same as the C produced by the first
      monochord, but was slightly higher in pitch. This discrepancy is called the Pythagorean
      comma.
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    • #58109
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi MBarillier! All 3 of these reads are good. You have a good deep, warm tone, good pace and good enunciation. Your voice seems well suited to these types of reads. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58067
      RYoung
      Participant

      Hi, Listened to most of your 3 scripts and they sound very clinical if that’s what your looking to accomplish? Good clear enunciation, pacing and clarity, however that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re believable though. I would suggest a little more excitement about the subject matter, good work and thanks for sharing that.

    • #58060
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi,
      Well, looks like the post came out just fine, and I really enjoyed listening to your reads. The second one especially seemed really natural and conversational, like you were just talking to me instead of reading. The first sounded very professional, which I would expect for something from the SSA, but your tone was also varied and interesting to listen to. I confess I had a bit of a hard time distinguishing the word “successively” in the third script; I almost thought I heard “accessibly,” so I think a little more clarity there would be good, and some more pitch variation in that third script could increase interest. Great work! Thanks for sharing.

  • #58040
    irvj
    Participant

    Just trying a promo type of read. Would welcome feedback regarding delivery as well as audio quality.

    Free. Now when’s the last time ya’ heard that? A while…right? Well at American Tire Supply, when you buy one all-weather radial tire, you get another one free! Plus, get a free alignment! Hey, with a deal like this, how can you NOT afford to visit. So hurry on down to your local American Tire Supply, where you can still hear the word free. Subject to dealer participation.

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    • #58081
      AndreaC
      Participant

      I think that the audio sounds great! You have a very comforting, calm tone, and clear annunciation.

    • #58073
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Irvj! I really like your voice! Very warm and smooth and mellow. Good variation in tone and pitch. Great job!

      Mary

      • #58075
        irvj
        Participant

        Thanks a ton mkell755!!!

        • #58110
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome irvj! 🙂

    • #58057
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi there,
      Yes, very nice delivery, and the audio quality sounded great! I might suggest emphasizing that first “free” a bit more. Volume was a little low in comparison to what followed. Also, maybe experiment with more emphasis on “not” in “not afford.” These are just little things of course. Really fantastic job!

      • #58061
        irvj
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback swy619. I’ll put that in to play!!

    • #58052
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Wow I love this!! Your voice is delicious. I don’t really have much to say that is constructive, I thought it was great. Perhaps you could try a delivery with a bit of a quicker pace to up the energy a little bit. Nice work! – Katelyn

      • #58076
        irvj
        Participant

        You’re on point there. After listening for the umpteenth time, a little more energy would be appropriate. Thanks for your input katelyndawnv!!

  • #58023
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hello everyone!

    I struggled with this copy all evening and night. You name it, and I just couldn’t get it right — from my enunciation, which is frustrating me (“corset” to mention one), to pops and clicks; even my recording quality. However, I am uploading this practice read for your critique.

    Thanks again!

    Mae West

    Mae West was the daughter of a boxer and a corset model, who became a vaudevillian at the age of fourteen. At thirty three, in 1926, she wrote, produced and directed a Broadway show called ‘S*x’, and landed in jail on obscenity charges. After wowing Broadway in ‘Diamond Lil’, she signed with Paramount in 1932 and moved to Hollywood. Her risqué 1930s comedies were ground-breaking, in terms of both s****l content and roles for women. Her films included ‘Night After Night’ and ‘She Done Him Wrong’, which was the film version of ‘Diamond Lil’, and broke all existing box-office records, credited with saving Paramount from having to sell out to its rival, MGM.

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    • #58111
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy! I think this was a good read. The word “corset” is not a deal-breaker if mispronounced in my opinion; not often used enough for that and can be easily fixed. Some of the script seemed a little monotone in spots but was interesting to hear nonetheless. Good job on this one!

      Mary

    • #58032
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      OK, so I struggle with clicks as well, and most of the time, it’s due to a lack of hydration. Munching on some green apple slices can help, too, the acid will help break up the stuff in your mouth that can cause some of the noise.

      With pronunciation, the letter “a” should be short, as in “ah”, not “eh” like Canadians say. By doing that, it may help with the pronunciations of the following words (like corset). Same thing with “obscenity”, it should be a short “e”, like “ob-sen-ity”, rather than “ob-seen-ity”.

      Something that helped me, as a suggestion from one of my coaches, James Andrews, was to cross out the words “to” and “for” and write in the numbers “2” and “4”. It helped me slow down a bit and give the words some more enunciation.

      The sound quality itself sounded fine to me…just a touch of room noise, like a fan from a computer or something, but nothing a little light noise reduction in post couldn’t cure.

      Just know: we all struggle. Knowing that you’re struggling, and knowing that you aren’t getting it right, is a sign that you have the skills and knowledge to do it. This is a good thing. Keep at it!

      • #58050
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thanks Brian for the encouragement and tips!

        Not that I don’t want to pronounce words correctly, but, I’m wondering if my close proximity to Quebec has anything to do with certain pronunciations and dialect. Hmm.

        • #58190
          BrianWigginsVO
          Participant

          It could. I have to be careful about certain words because of my Delaware Valley accent…we tend to slur words, leave them off, or sometimes have some odd inflections.

  • #58014
    svenbot5000
    Participant

    Howdy! I’m posting another quick practice recording before my next coaching session. Any performance feedback is greatly appreciated.

    Qtie

    Dating and making new friends can be difficult and daunting. But thanks to Qutie it’s now easier for you to meet fellow LGBT individuals. Follow your heart to find your true colors with Qutie.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by svenbot5000. Reason: Edit: Forgot to get rid of my lead-in, apologies!
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    • #58112
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Svenbot! I liked your voice a lot for this read, very warm, friendly and approachable. I agree with some of the other comments in that it could have been just a very little bit slower, but it sounded really good overall. You might want to emphasize “Qutie” a bit more for the 2 times the word is said; it’s an unusual word and you want to make sure the listener knows the product being sold.

      Mary

    • #58077
      irvj
      Participant

      Hi, i thought the slightly slower pace on your 2nd recording was a great improvement. The first recording was just a tad rushed. Love your tone and the accessibility of your voice.

    • #58042
      mbarillier
      Participant

      Hi — Good tone for the spot: you keep the sound upbeat and positive. agreed that a slower speed will let the listener absorb the words a bit more, but overall sounds good.

    • #58020
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Good evening!

      Okay, so you have a great tone, first of all. The read was a little rushed, though, and it resulted in some words being smushed together. Slow it down and let it breathe a little.

  • #58006
    NoreenQuadir
    Participant

    Hi, new to commercial VO training and wanted to attach my VO samples here for feedback as I’m learning. Would appreciate feedback from others. Thanks! 🙂

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    • #58113
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Noreen! I like these reads for your voice. My favorite was the third for Hershey’s, it just seemed the most believable for you. The Second script for Elf was a little hard to hear clearly on my end, I little slower might help the many “s’s” in the script be fully enunciated, they tended to run together. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58021
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      so the first thing I noticed was that all of the reads were essentially exactly the same in terms of the pacing, tone, and emotion. That’s something that should be varied, as each read would be attempting to reach a different audience, and achieve a different goal, right?

      Also, in each there were some cases of slurred words, so make sure to slow down.

      Finally, was this recorded on your phone just for the sake of practice? If yes, then no worries…if not, you’ll definitely need to work on your setup.

      • #58027
        NoreenQuadir
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback! Yes, this was recorded on my phone and just for practice.

  • #58001
    swy619
    Participant

    Two very contrasting scripts here. Had fun testing different genres. Feedback appreciated. Peace and thanks!
    Kids Activity TV
    Every day is an adventure with Activity TV. It’s the place to be for
    hundreds of Awesome activities in dozens of categories! Cartooning to
    magic to cooking and more – ready for you day or night. This month
    learn some gross out magic. Watch closely as Ryan teaches you to
    perform the severed finger trick!
    Meditation
    Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine.
    With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows
    on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath
    for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the
    point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of
    eight. Repeat three to six times.

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    • #58114
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Swy619! I really liked both of these reads for you. They were very different from each other and both very believable. Good pace and excitement for the first read and lots of variation in tone. For the second script it was great – it contained more pauses and breathiness which was very appropriate for that read. Great job!

      Mary

    • #58087
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Wow! The meditation recording was great, relaxed, really worked, convincing and more. The other performance with the kids show was nice too.

      • #58095
        swy619
        Participant

        Thanks SuperLuke!

    • #58013
      svenbot5000
      Participant

      Hi! I have some feedback for your kids tv read. Your higher pitch definitely helps sell the enthusiasm! I would try changing up the pacing of the read next time. An enhanced pace would help hook any kids listening to this want to tune in. Your tone kind of lowers when you say “Dozens” as well, I would raise it instead to emphasize the amount of categories. Keep up the good work!

      • #58063
        swy619
        Participant

        Cool! I’ll try raising that tone on “dozens” and varying the pace throughout. Thank you!

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