Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello everyone! Here is a script for your feedback, any and all feedback is welcome. It’s recorded on my phone, and this is just for practice. I’m going for a natural delivery while still emphasizing the appropriate words. Thank you!
Mary
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mkell755: Overall a nice read. For a phone recording the quality isn’t that bad, though best for practice as you stated. You do sound natural but I might try to put some “smile” into your voice. Remember, we don’t read things like we “talk” things. I suggest memorizing a line and simply say it out loud a number of times, just like regular conversation, for practice.
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Hello everyone! I’m back with more homework practice and I really appreciate the feedback from my first post here! This time I have 3 narration scripts from the library so thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to listen and critique.
Nature’s Recyclers
Did you know that mold and bacteria and higher level organisms like beetles, centipedes and, of course, earthworms are all busy recyclers? By breaking down organic matter – stuff like dead plants, p**p, and decaying animals – they create valuable nutrients necessary for rich and fertile soil. Take it from me, a worm who knows, we are doing you a big favor.Working From Home
Working in your pajamas. Skipping traffic. Oh yeah. Knowing that your lunch is safe from poachers. That’s the blissful reality of working from home.
But as anyone who has done it can tell you, the reality is a lot less dreamy.
There are no annoying coworkers snapping gum in your ears, but then again, there are no co-workers at all, which can lead to loneliness and isolation. And when there’s non one around to catch you Facebooking or Candy Crushing, it can be hard to stop doing those things and actually work.PADI Open Water Diver Course
After enrolling, PADI’s eLearning system presents you with interactive presentations that include videos, audio, graphics and reading. Short quizzes let you gauge your progress, and review and correct anything you might happen to miss. This lets you move through the program efficiently and at your own pace.
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Hi Amanda! These were all good reads!
Script 1 – I liked the tone and pace and emphasis on the appropriate words
Script 2 – Great tone and feel for the read, seemed very well suited for you
Script 3 – I liked this read too, but it seemed a little rushed to me. It was a longer script, but sounded like you were reading to get to the end of the script moreso than just explaining steps to someone.
Overall great enunciation and clarity, good job!Mary
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Hello Amanda!
Very nice reads! They each had a different tone, and you varied your pitch where needed. The pacing was good, as well. The only thing I would tell you to be mindful of is micro pauses not intended in the script. I noticed this in your third copy, but you did a great job tackling it! Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hello everyone!
Here a script for Acadia National Park from the Tours/Travelogue section in the script library.
Still struggling with “an” on some occasions… overall how was the pace, and pronunciation?
All feedback is welcome and appreciated!
Thank you! — Kathy
Acadia National Park
Among the many aspects of natural beauty in Acadia National Park is the view of the starry night sky, which provides stunning views of the Milky Way to thousands of visitors.
The natural night sky is an integral part of the park, an element of cultural heritage, and a source of inspiration for visitors.
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Hi Kathy,
Nice Job! I do think it could have been even a bit slower, especially the phrase, “Milky Way,” which I feel is important enough to have more emphasis and to not sound rushed. I think overall pronunciation was good though. It is true that I’m not used to hearing “integral” pronounced that way. I would stress the first syllable and pronounce the “e” like “uh,” but this could all be regional variation as you and Amanda pointed out. I’m not sure I would say it’s incorrect. Good work. Thanks for sharing. -
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Hi Kathy! Good read! I noticed a couple of words that stood out to me – “aspects” sounded somewhat stretched out “aaaspects”, and “integral” sounded like “inteegral” (long e). Otherwise good and clear read with good pacing, tone and pitch. As you have pointed out there are more than one way to pronounce things depending on where you live (I’m from the mid-west), so take that with a grain of salt. Good job!
Mary
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Hi Kathy! I’m so new to VO that I’m reluctant to offer any advice and I really liked how you emphasized some of the key words. One thing that stood out to me was “integral.” In my part of the United States, I’ve heard it with a “eh” sound instead of a long E, but I know that some words have multiple ways to pronounce them so I wasn’t sure about this one. -Amanda
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Hi Amanda!
I am a beginner as well! Many of us here are. All feedback is welcome and appreciated! I always knew that pronunciation varies depending on what part of the US you are from, but hearing it here is a new experience! I am working on this, as well as enunciation, so my readings come out clear. The word “integral” did stand out, as did “aspect”.
Thank you!
– Kathy
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Hello all! Looking for any and all feedback on this script, which was from the Duluth Trading Christmas catalog. This is on my phone, so please know that I will be upgrading to a mic soon. Thank you all!
Mary
Better Sweaters – Duluth
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You’re getting there, Mary! I heard a more natural, relaxed, delivery through the whole read! Keep it up! Good job!
Kathy
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I am taking a practice script from the library here, trying to relax so much I just let my arms dangle down to give a more realistic read, then bring on the ending with more enthusiasm, any thoughts are appreciated!
Wintergreen Resort
If you’re in the dark about where to ski, let us shed some light on the subject. High in Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mountains, discover what’s been called the Mid-Atlantic’s finest overall ski experience. Wintergreen offers ten slopes, five lifts, and an extensive snow-making system. Not to mention luxurious accommodations, an indoor spa, and a nationally-recognized children’s program. For more information, call 1-800-ski-green. That’s 1-800-ski-green. Wintergreen and Virginia…the perfect combination!-
I think this was well done! I enjoyed it. This could be nitpicky, but it felt slightly too long of a pause after “five lifts.” It just felt a little off from the flow from the first two, if that makes sense. And I would play around with the second ski-green. Part of me feels saying it like the first would be fine, but can certainly see bringing the enthusiasm earlier.
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Hi RYoung! This was a great read for your warm and clear voice. I liked the pace and energy and the appropriate emphasis and enunciation on several key words such as “Wintergreen”. The music too sounded very good and uplifting for this script. There was a slight pause between “…snow-making system” and “not to mention” that might have been treated more like a comma to string together those 2 thoughts. I see that there is a period there and the list of items gets long as a result, but it makes more sense as a comma to me. Great job!
Mary
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Good Morning my fellow VO Crew. I’m back again with more demo homework and in need of your feedback. Tell me what you think.
Thank you in advance.
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Hi, I believe your takes are delivered well with good inflections. The Wrangler take was exceptional I felt. Critique wise only comment would be maybe either reduce gain while recording or back off the mic slightly, although I am no audio expert, so listen to a professional for more on that I would say, nice work!
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Hi All! Here is my homework read for a Tesla Camera App found in eLearning/Education under narration.
I am not sure if the tone is supposed to sound “robotic”, but that is how I kept reading it.
There might be some slight background noise from my laptop. I did record with a pop filter for the first time today on my mic.
Tesla Camera App
The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.
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Hi Kathy! This was a good read. The tone, pitch and flow of the script was good. Not sure that “robotic” is how Tesla would want it to sound, but that’s just my opinion. I tried to picture myself needing to listen to this app to learn how to use the camera, and my take would be that the tone should sound helpful and maybe just a little warmer than robotic. Great work!
Mary
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Thanks for the feedback, Mary!
I understand what you are saying in regards to the app, i.e. natural vs. robotic.
I think Siri and Alexa are stuck in my head —- and I don’t use them! lol
I’ll give it another go, and see how it comes out.
Thanks again!
Kathy
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Hello all! Looking for any and all feedback on this read, which comes from the Color Street website and a little wordsmithing on my end (nail strips!). This is recorded with a phone, so sound comments are also welcome but please know that I have not upgraded to a mic yet. Thank you!
Mary
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So, ask yourself – what is the accessory that makes every look complete? Nail fashion of course! Color Street nail polish strips are easy to wear and share, and fun to sell. Color Street – go to http://www.colorstreet.com to locate an independent stylist in your area.
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Hi Mary!
After listening, I felt like you sounded more relaxed, natural, during this part of your script:
Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.
In this section, your pitch also emphasized important words. There was a little slight pause between “stylists and”, but otherwise this section had a great delivery.
I hope this helps. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I was going for a more relaxed, authentic delivery, so it sounds like I’m improving in that area. I have recently started using Color Street and I really can’t say enough about how great they are. Per my coach, I’m looking for products I believe in for my upcoming commercial demo – so much more fun to talk about things you know! Thanks again!
Mary
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Hello good people! These are two narration scripts from the Edge Studio script library, just with different tones. Any feedback is welcome.
Thanks much!
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Hello jmtarleton!
I did not know you read the Telsa script until after I uploaded my read. Your tone and delivery, I felt, was spot on. Just be careful of lip-smacks at the end of some of your words. Overall, good job!
Kathy
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I thought I’d try a character this time. Here are two recordings of the same script, the first read in my natural voice, and the second using an affected voice. One thing I’m wondering is whether the character comes across well enough with my natural voice, or does the affected voice help the character? any other feedback is also welcome. Thanks!
-Sarah-
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Hi Sarah! I think your natural voice has plenty of interest and color / texture for this type of read; I prefer that one. It seemed to be very well paced and very interesting to listen to. The second read in the affected voice was really high in pitch, but it might be a good fit if it was a cartoon worm (the first one may also be a cartoon worm, and it would still be believable).
Mary
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