Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #58125
    Alexis Williams
    Participant

    Good Morning my fellow VO Crew. I’m back again with more demo homework and in need of your feedback. Tell me what you think.

    Thank you in advance.

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    • #58133
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Arwilliams! These are all very good reads! Great energy and variation in pitch, and good pacing. You sound genuinely interested in the products and your voice is so nice and buttery. ACE, Nike and Wrangler are all good fits for your voice. Keep it up!

      Mary

    • #58132
      RYoung
      Participant

      Hi, I believe your takes are delivered well with good inflections. The Wrangler take was exceptional I felt. Critique wise only comment would be maybe either reduce gain while recording or back off the mic slightly, although I am no audio expert, so listen to a professional for more on that I would say, nice work!

  • #58118
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hi All! Here is my homework read for a Tesla Camera App found in eLearning/Education under narration.

    I am not sure if the tone is supposed to sound “robotic”, but that is how I kept reading it.

    There might be some slight background noise from my laptop. I did record with a pop filter for the first time today on my mic.

    Tesla Camera App

    The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.

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    • #58134
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy! This was a good read. The tone, pitch and flow of the script was good. Not sure that “robotic” is how Tesla would want it to sound, but that’s just my opinion. I tried to picture myself needing to listen to this app to learn how to use the camera, and my take would be that the tone should sound helpful and maybe just a little warmer than robotic. Great work!

      Mary

      • #58147
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback, Mary!

        I understand what you are saying in regards to the app, i.e. natural vs. robotic.

        I think Siri and Alexa are stuck in my head —- and I don’t use them! lol

        I’ll give it another go, and see how it comes out.

        Thanks again!

        Kathy

        • #58153
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Kathy! Just my take on things. I don’t have Siri or Alexa either, I’m not a fan of the idea of a robot telling me how to do things; I have probably watched too many sci-fi crazy movies – lol 🙂

          Mary

        • #58155
          kfvoice
          Participant

          LOL. 🙂 The original “voice” behind Siri is a fascinating story of how she came to be.

  • #58103
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Looking for any and all feedback on this read, which comes from the Color Street website and a little wordsmithing on my end (nail strips!). This is recorded with a phone, so sound comments are also welcome but please know that I have not upgraded to a mic yet. Thank you!

    Mary

    Have you heard about Color Street yet? The colors are vibrant, the finishes glossy, and they easily adhere to the nail instantly. Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.

    So, ask yourself – what is the accessory that makes every look complete? Nail fashion of course! Color Street nail polish strips are easy to wear and share, and fun to sell. Color Street – go to http://www.colorstreet.com to locate an independent stylist in your area.

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    • #58122
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Mary!

      After listening, I felt like you sounded more relaxed, natural, during this part of your script:

      Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.

      In this section, your pitch also emphasized important words. There was a little slight pause between “stylists and”, but otherwise this section had a great delivery.

      I hope this helps. Keep it up!

      Kathy

      • #58135
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I was going for a more relaxed, authentic delivery, so it sounds like I’m improving in that area. I have recently started using Color Street and I really can’t say enough about how great they are. Per my coach, I’m looking for products I believe in for my upcoming commercial demo – so much more fun to talk about things you know! Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #58096
    jmtarleton
    Participant

    Hello good people! These are two narration scripts from the Edge Studio script library, just with different tones. Any feedback is welcome.

    Thanks much!

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    • #58121
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hello jmtarleton!

      I did not know you read the Telsa script until after I uploaded my read. Your tone and delivery, I felt, was spot on. Just be careful of lip-smacks at the end of some of your words. Overall, good job!

      Kathy

      • #58144
        jmtarleton
        Participant

        Kathy, Good call about the lip smacks and thank you–will listen for that more.

        Best!

    • #58105
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Jmtarleton – great reads! I liked both and also that both were varied from each other. The pace and enunciation was good, and your tone is warm and welcoming and suits both the first script for macaroons and the second script for Tesla. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58102
      Nicholson71vo
      Participant

      Other than the obvious background noise in your recording, I think you deliver the message just fine! Good job! Keep at it!

  • #58092
    swy619
    Participant

    I thought I’d try a character this time. Here are two recordings of the same script, the first read in my natural voice, and the second using an affected voice. One thing I’m wondering is whether the character comes across well enough with my natural voice, or does the affected voice help the character? any other feedback is also welcome. Thanks!
    -Sarah

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    • #58120
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Sarah! Both were interesting to listen to, however, I think your natural voice serves the character well! — Kathy

    • #58106
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Sarah! I think your natural voice has plenty of interest and color / texture for this type of read; I prefer that one. It seemed to be very well paced and very interesting to listen to. The second read in the affected voice was really high in pitch, but it might be a good fit if it was a cartoon worm (the first one may also be a cartoon worm, and it would still be believable).

      Mary

      • #58176
        swy619
        Participant

        Yes, I think I was imagining that it was a cartoon worm. Glad to know my natural voice is effective enough. Thanks!

  • #58082
    AndreaC
    Participant

    Hello! I have trouble being too theatrical, energetic and expressive, so I tried to tone it down. I am going for a more “natural” quality, and would appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advance!

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    • #58187
      docr15
      Participant

      AndreaC, I think that sounded very natural. Recording quality was great. Nice and smooth read.

    • #58107
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Andrea! I like your voice and your take on this script. There were some words that trailed off and got really quiet and very low at the end “…about the last one” for example. Overall very natural tone and good for your voice!

      Mary

      • #58129
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thanks so much, Mary! I am really working on the “natural” aspect. I agree- I can hear where I trailed off too early. Thanks so much for your feedback!

        • #58136
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Andrea! I also have to work on sounding natural, with enough emphasis but not over the top – it’s a fine balance! If I happen to like or have some direct experience about the subject matter (in this case about making mistakes when buying a house – I have done that!) it has helped me. Good work and keep it up!

          Mary

    • #58091
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi Andrea, I really love the tone and timbre of your voice. You sound like a very mature put-together adult. A mom and a professional. I would believe you if you were talking about medical things or insurance. I know you weren’t asking that but that’s what I think of when I hear your voice. The first part of this read felt like the energy/tone was just too low but once you say “Listen… I love real estate…” I think from that point on you are hitting a nice “natural, chill, but still interested” vibe. Nice work!

      • #58130
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thank you so much!I appreciate your examples- that is what I will be going for in the future. I agree- too low energy at first. Thanks for your feedback!

    • #58085
      RYoung
      Participant

      Excellent work on this Andrea! Your voice is calm and reassuring as well! I can only find 2 words that seemed off, one is the word “you” in the first sentence and “run” in
      “long run”. Otherwise I think it was pretty spot on and realistic.

      • #58131
        AndreaC
        Participant

        Thank you! Great articulation catches! I was trying to mitigate my outrageous Boston accent, and the “you” definitely came off as “yah”- I definitely have more to work on. Thanks so much for your kind words!

  • #58068
    RYoung
    Participant

    I finished revising one of my demo reels with the help from the old feedback forum! Any comments are welcome, thanks!

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    • #58117
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks Mary, appreciate your evaluation!

    • #58070
      RYoung
      Participant

      Not sure if I did this right but was trying to edit my latest script. The newer one is obviously the revised recording due to the first one missing ending of last recording.
      Thanks!

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      • #58108
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi RYoung! Your voice sounds really good for the selected commercials, very warm and clear tone that resonates and sounds very trustworthy. Great job!

        Mary

        • #58116
          RYoung
          Participant

          Thanks Mary,appreciate your thoughts!

        • #58139
          mkell755
          Participant

          Sure, you are welcome! 🙂

          Mary

  • #58064
    RYoung
    Participant

    Some narration work with an excerpt from Mary Shelly’s “frankenstein” I realize I mispronounced “precipitous”.
    “I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.

    This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.” (16.19-20)

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by RYoung.
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    • #58154
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks to the three of you for taking time to listen! Yea this is acting and more difficult for me than a short commercial would be, yet I find it intriguing.

    • #58143
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi RYoung! Great read – good pace, flow and enunciation and it sounds very well-produced. I think you could get into character a little more; some of the thoughts seemed to be presented as if you were telling a light-hearted story, not rescuing someone from death. So that could mean a little more variation in tone to get your point across (I’m working on that myself). The sentence that starts with “This was then my reward…” could sound a little more angry than the first part – you are stunned by how much it hurts to try to save someone only to be shot as a reward for your good act, like what would that really feel like? “…playfully fled.” sounded more like “…playfully fled?” Overall really good read. Keep it up!

      Mary

    • #58089
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi there,
      Nice read. Sounds well-produced, and your voice is nice and clear, authoritative and precise. I do think the flow could be better. There were times where it sounded like you had reached the end of a thought, as in after “restore animation,” which of course is not the end of that sentence, and then after “playfully fled,” it sounded like there, you were not done with the thought, though it is in fact the end of the sentence. There’s also a spot later on where I think it would make more sense to pause more after the phrase “which he carried,” and not so much before it. I think that could help listeners to properly interpret the meaning of the sentence on first listen.
      Hope this might be helpful and hope I’m making sense. Thanks for sharing this narration. Good work!

    • #58078
      AndreaC
      Participant

      Very controlled but natural pace. Expressive, yet natural and strong- I’m working on that!

      • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by AndreaC.
  • #58053
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    I’ve really been enjoying just writing some of my own scripts – helps the creative juices flow. Have a great day. Any feedback is appreciated!

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    • #58072
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn! Very good read, and great script! Flow was nice and conversational. Great job!

      Mary

    • #58059
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn!

      Nice read —- the pace was even, and I could hear the variation in tone.

      As a creative person, I’ve really enjoyed writing my own scripts, too —- I believe it helps with the enthusiasm! (I haven’t posted any here for feedback.)

      Keep up the good work!

      Kathy

    • #58058
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn,
      Very nice script and excellent delivery. Sounded friendly and natural. Thanks for sharing.

  • #58043
    mbarillier
    Participant

    hi — first post since the site upgrade so we’ll see how this goes ….
    three practice scripts for coaching session:

    1. Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family — this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while you’re still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security income benefits.
    2. Here we have a very simple example of a database which has users, phone numbers and bank
      accounts as entity types. In addition we have two types of relationships: phone calls from
      one phone to another, and money transfers from one bank account to another. On the left is
      a relational database schema for our simple dataset. We don’t show a separate user table
      because we don’t have any facts about users other than their phone numbers and bank account
      numbers. On the right is the graph database schema for the same use case. There are three
      vertex types (the circles) and the four edge types (the lines). We omit the details about
      what properties each vertex type or edge type has.
    3. In the sixth century B.C. Pythagoras, a Greek mathematician, is thought to have made
      accoustic experiments with a vibrating string called a monochord. Using two monochords,
      Pythagoras performed an experiment in which the string of one monochord was successively
      shortened by half (raising the pitch an octave) while the other was shortened by two thirds
      (raising the pitch a fifth). After seven octaves and twelve fifths, Pythagoras discovered
      that the B# from the second monochord was not exactly the same as the C produced by the first
      monochord, but was slightly higher in pitch. This discrepancy is called the Pythagorean
      comma.
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    • #58109
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi MBarillier! All 3 of these reads are good. You have a good deep, warm tone, good pace and good enunciation. Your voice seems well suited to these types of reads. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58067
      RYoung
      Participant

      Hi, Listened to most of your 3 scripts and they sound very clinical if that’s what your looking to accomplish? Good clear enunciation, pacing and clarity, however that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re believable though. I would suggest a little more excitement about the subject matter, good work and thanks for sharing that.

    • #58060
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi,
      Well, looks like the post came out just fine, and I really enjoyed listening to your reads. The second one especially seemed really natural and conversational, like you were just talking to me instead of reading. The first sounded very professional, which I would expect for something from the SSA, but your tone was also varied and interesting to listen to. I confess I had a bit of a hard time distinguishing the word “successively” in the third script; I almost thought I heard “accessibly,” so I think a little more clarity there would be good, and some more pitch variation in that third script could increase interest. Great work! Thanks for sharing.

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