VO Casting
& Recording
VO Training
& Demos
Speaking &
Presentations

Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

Viewing 3,182 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #58443
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! Looking for any and all feedback here for this read (recorded on my phone). Thank you all!

    Mary

    Hotelplanner.com
    Planning a group event can be an enormous undertaking whether it’s a work meeting, sporting event or family reunion. Simplify your event planning with HotelPlanner.com —
    We’re number one in group travel. We’ll work with you and the hotels to obtain the finest hotel, best prices, and group booking policies available.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58673
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Great read, i can totally hear this on radio, I agree with kathryn , there is a warmness to you voice , the bracket (–) tip she shared is awesome , i will apply it to my reads too.

      • #58806
        mkell755
        Participant

        Wow – thank you mrtripo9! I really appreciate it. Yes, the bracket tip is gold! I’m using that. Thanks!

        Mary

    • #58524
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Very nice work Mary. Your tone is so warm and inviting. I think that the pace is a little carefully spoken and paced out a but slow. There were some pauses in the first sentence: “Planning a group event can be an enormous undertaking whether it’s a work meeting,” and with this whole part being 1 idea does not need any pausing. My coach suggested putting brackets around ideas [—-] that signify that it is 1 idea and so there does not need to be pauses there. Nice work! 🙂

      • #58565
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the Feedback Katelyn! I definitely like the bracket idea to keep phrases and thoughts together, thanks for that! I will work on unnecessary pauses too. In my head I’m trying t o keep it moving but no too fast, but a random pause doesn’t help that. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #58457
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Hello Mary,

      This was well done. You enunciated good words and sounded conversational. You were pausing a lot though, and much of it was midsentence. My coach Art advised me to only pause at periods and commas. Also, it sounded like you said “ken” instead of “can.” Your tone leaves something to be desired. Indeed you sound confident but not very interested and I think that is crucial for commercial scripts.

      I hope this helps,
      Tim D.

      • #58465
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Tim! Thanks for the feedback. I hear “ken” now instead of “can”, so I will work on that. I think too that I may be unintentionally pausing to make sure I’m not reading too quick, but if it sounds like a pause that needs work as well. I really was interested in this but will work on a more interested-sounding tone. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #58435
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hi all!

    I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving, despite the unusual circumstances this year.

    I had some new studio equipment come in this week, and today was my first day test driving some of it.

    This script is from the library; found under documentaries, but it sounds like a script for a travel app.

    (Note: Where I come from, we say route as “root”.)

    Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

    Kathy

    Route 66

    #2 Route 66

    While officially Route 66 no longer exists, the majority of it remains to be driven and
    enjoyed. The turn-by-turn road description will guide you on your journey through all
    eight states from Chicago to Los Angeles. Not only will it help you to stay on track, but
    you’ll also find some background information on the hundreds of roadside attractions

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by kfvoice.
    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58439
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy! I enjoyed this read. Very smooth and flowed well! The only thing I noticed was that the word “guide” seemed to be stretched out or given more emphasis than needed? That is nitpicky on my part. Very good!

      P.S. We say “root” too, and 26 miles of Route 66 runs through my city, Tulsa!

      Mary

      • #58467
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback, Mary! Noted!

        I always thought it would be interesting to take a road trip traveling Route 66!

        Thanks again!

        Kathy

        • #58475
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Kathy! If you ever do decide to travel Route 66 it is pretty quirky and interesting! 🙂

          Mary

    • #58438
      kfvoice
      Participant

      I can’t seem to edit this again, but I noticed (only after uploading my recording), that I completely skipped a word in my last line. Oops.

  • #58432
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Thanks for your feedback! I’m enjoying getting to know you all through your recordings 🙂

    “It’s Macy’s Thanksgiving sale. Storewide savings for the whole family. All women’s coats and jackets…30-50 percent off. All men’s outerwear…25-50 percent off. And all kids’ jackets, hats, and gloves…up to 60 percent off. Macy’s Thanksgiving Sale. All you need for the holidays.”

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58456
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Your voice is very fitting for the read. You performed a good tempo and enunciated fitting words. Although, I personally think your tone makes you sound like a machine… It’s almost as if you’re just reading it without any apparent interest. If you want listeners to be attracted to your client, it’s important to sound interested yourself. Also, I think your listing of the products and percentages could do with more variation. (I would suggest enunciating the percentages in one, the products in another, you could even raise the pitch of “and.”)
      All in all, you’re doing well. I hope this helps.

    • #58440
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdahgirl! Yes it is interesting hearing many of the same voices and getting to know everyone a little!

      Great read – very good flow and tone, and good building emphasis on the 3 levels of percentages of sales (30-50, 25-50, and 60). Your tone is very pleasant and well-suited for this type of commercial. Very good!

      Mary

  • #58418
    touzet
    Participant

    Tried out this Atlanta Bread Co. Script:

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58536
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      wow this is great

    • #58455
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You sir are FANTASTIC! You brought the script to life with perfect pace, fitting enunciations, and not too long of pauses. I would recommend though, unless this is your natural speaking voice, you should not perform with such a low pitch. You sound rather gravelly and I feel that sounds like you’re slacking off before the read is done. A relaxed tone is fitting, but don’t overdo it.

    • #58450
      touzet
      Participant

      Thanks for giving this a listen and the generous comments.

    • #58441
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Touzet! Very good! Nice warm and rich tone, sounded great! Good flow and inflection throughout. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58430
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Oh man, you have such a great voice and I could listen to it all day! For this read, I thought it was awesome. I might play around with not settling at the bottom of the voice – the higher inflections still have such a rich color but a little more inviting for a place with soup in a bread bowl 🙂 🙂 Can’t wait to hear your voice all over the place!

    • #58426
      RYoung
      Participant

      Top notch on this one Touzet! I have no critique to offer you, very nice!

  • #58415

    Thank you,Mary.Really appreciate it.

  • #58411
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! I’m looking for any and all feedback on this read (recorded on my phone). I’m trying to work on smiling during the read and for a natural delivery. Thanks for listening!

    Mary

    Mr. Coffee Elite Plus
    Now when you stumble out of bed with a million things to do, at least the coffee’s ready. Mr. Coffee Elite Plus coffeemaker starts brewing whenever you say. You decide the night before, push a few buttons and go to bed. You’ll wake up to a fresh, hot p*t of steaming salvation. Now that’s what we call a real eye-opener.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58459
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I like that Mary. Good job.

      • #58466
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks Robert!

        Mary

    • #58431
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Great job Mary! I listened to one of yours a day or two ago and can hear a difference with the “smile” in your voice. It’s awesome!

      • #58442
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Burdahgirl – thanks for the feedback! I have been working on smiling during the read more, so I’m glad it is noticeable to others. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #58402
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Here’s another script I did. Do you think my acoustic set up works well? My main concern is if there is a noticeable hum from my computer… Any thoughts on my performance would also be appreciated. Thanks for the help.

    Sandals
    Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58454
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Hey everyone. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll definitely take it to heart. Although I wonder why I didn’t receive an email that you’d replied… The old Feedback Forum did that all the time.

    • #58413
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Tim!

      Great read!

      My feedback here is for your audio set up.

      I felt like there was a louder hum here, than in your first reading I gave feedback on.

      Your reading started out quiet and whisper like at the beginning, and then the volume of your read in the second sentence got louder. It started around “where love…”. I am not sure if this is part of your audio edit, or if your tone changed.

      Have you sent in a audio sample for the engineers to listen to?

      Overall, good job!

      Kathy

    • #58408
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Good read. Your voice had a nice low tone which suited this script well. Even with the quieter tone, I was not hearing any humming. Good job!

      Mary

  • #58400
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hey everyone, I am going to be recording my demo soon so I want to upload more. I’m still wondering about my recording accousitcs, do you think it works great? I’m pretty pleased with how the recordings turn out, but I wonder if my computer’s humming is messing with the recording… Also, if you have advice on my performance, I’d appreciate it.

    Toddler Town Zoo
    When was the last time you brought your kids to the zoo? Now you can bring the zoo home to them. Toddler Town has a brand new collection of zoo characters, designed to put a smile on every toddler’s face. A lovable herd of hippos, a dangerous den of lions, plus monkeys, giraffes, and big burly bears. It’ll keep the little ones happy for hours. So introduce your kids to the ZOO … from TODDLER TOWN.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58452
      touzet
      Participant

      You have a distinctive voice – which is a great thing. This script seems targeted at the parents and some of the read seems aimed at children e.g. the phrase “…dangerous den of lions”. Also, “put [uh] smile..” may work better than “put [AY] smile..”. That may make it more conversational…
      – touzet –

    • #58409
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Tim!

      Nice read! Your voice fits the script. The pace was good, and your pitch and toned varied where needed.

      I did hear a distant hum/static sound with my Audio-Technica headphones. I hope this helps.

      Kathy

    • #58407
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! This sounded good – good tempo and flow and enunciation. I’m not hearing the humming on my end. Overall good job!

      Mary

  • #58396
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Thanks for any feedback!

    “Listen. Your period comes every month. But it changes every day. That’s why ALWAYS designed new MULTIPAX. Three levels of protection in one smart box. So no matter what, you’ve got the right protection. ALWAYS MULTIPAX.”

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58511
      colleen
      Participant

      Hi, Burdahgirl-
      I really liked this read: upbeat, nice pacing & confident…nice job!

    • #58458
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Your performance is very fitting and well played out. My only thought is the ending: “Always Multipax.” I think it should have a different tone than the one you have. You don’t sound happy or confident enough in the product…

      You’re on the right track, good work!
      Tim D.

    • #58410
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi burdahirl!

      Nice read!

      Pitch and tone were good. I would recommend a longer pause after “Listen.” … It sounds like it’s part of your second sentence. Emphasizing ALWAYS and MULTIPAX a little more will highlight the brand and product.

      Overall, good job!

      Kathy

    • #58406
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdahgirl! Your voice sounds really good for this commercial, great job! Good pacing, flowed well and good enunciation. Very good!

      Mary

      • #58537
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I agree. You sound fit for the part

  • #58372
    mkell755
    Participant

    Happy Thanksgiving all! Here is my daily recording for any and all feedback (recorded on phone for practice). Let me know what you think. Thank you!

    Mary

    Select Quote Insurance
    Hi. I’d like to tell you the three golden rules for saving money when buying life insurance.
    – First, buy “term life” insurance, so you get the most protection for the least possible cost.
    – Second, buy sooner rather than later. Every birthday your cost of insurance goes up.
    – And third, call Select Quote. They search the top-rated life insurance firms like Traveler, Kemper, and CNA, to find the best rates and benefits for you. Then they send you a free price comparison with your five best quotes.
    – Just call 1-800-335-7200 for your free price comparison. That’s 1-800-335-7200.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #58398
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Hi Mary,
      I think your pacing is great and you are so clear. I might try to add a little more warmth or smile to it? Otherwise, awesome!

      • #58405
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks Burdahgirl! Appreciate the feedback. More warmth and smile, thanks I’ll try that!

        Mary

    • #58380
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Mary!

      Your pace, pitch, and pauses were good here. When it comes to the number, I know it’s common for some to say “Oh”, as opposed to “Zero”, although, I don’t think I hear many commercials read this way. Something to be mindful of, and double check.

      Kathy

      • #58381
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback! I debated as to say “0” vs. “zero” and the shorter “0” won, but good point in checking on protocol for that. It seems like so many things that are said in commercials are getting shorter these days, like the companies expect us to figure it out with just a tiny bit of information. Now I’ll be listening for that! Thanks again,

        Mary

Viewing 3,182 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.