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  • #58470
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Awesome job, touzet! I don’t have anything to critique! Your pace and tone fit the script well, and I loved the chuckle in the beginning of your read!

    Sounded like a Jack Daniels commercial to me!

    Watch out, Sam Elliott! 🙂

    Kathy

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by kfvoice. Reason: Delete this post
  • #58462
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Hi guys! Been a couple days. My demo record went so great! Here is a script I put together for a commercial read. Any feedback is appreciated! Have a great day.
    Katelyn

    Andalou Naturals sunflower & citrus styling gel gives you a healthy shine and protects your hair against heat and humidity.
    Sunflower and Tangerine Oils brighten hair tone and revitalize follicles.
    This natural gel does so much more than you would expect.

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    • #58649
      kfvoice
      Participant

      A nice “sunny” and “bright” read, Katelyn! Pace was good, and enunciation was clear. I did notice a very slight micro-pause at “and protect” in your opening line. Again, very slight. It works if the line is rewritten with an intended break. Overall, good job!

      P.S. I use Andalou products, and your voice works well for this kind of script.

      Kathy

    • #58464
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn! Glad to hear that the demo went well! This read sounds good – good flow and variation in tone and very good for your voice. Good job!

      Mary

  • #58448
    touzet
    Participant

    Sort of a Jack Daniels Medley

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    • #58580
      touzet
      Participant

      Thanks for taking the time to give this a listen and for the generous comments.

    • #58533
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      wow, this take is delicious, I can already taste it

    • #58509
      colleen
      Participant

      TREMENDOUS read and background music, Touzet~great pacing, tone…I could almost TASTE the whiskey!

    • #58471
      kfvoice
      Participant

      (Accidentally posted as a main entry!)

      Awesome job, touzet! I don’t have anything to critique! Your pace and tone fit the script well, and I loved the chuckle in the beginning of your read!

      Sounded like a Jack Daniels commercial to me!

      Watch out, Sam Elliott! 🙂

      Kathy

      • #58503
        JackStansbury
        Participant

        I mean holy cow, this is great stuff. So evocative, so human and authentic. Really really nice work

    • #58469
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Touzet – very nice! Great visuals as I was listening – very smooth and relaxed. Good job!

      Mary

  • #58443
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! Looking for any and all feedback here for this read (recorded on my phone). Thank you all!

    Mary

    Hotelplanner.com
    Planning a group event can be an enormous undertaking whether it’s a work meeting, sporting event or family reunion. Simplify your event planning with HotelPlanner.com —
    We’re number one in group travel. We’ll work with you and the hotels to obtain the finest hotel, best prices, and group booking policies available.

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    • #58673
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Great read, i can totally hear this on radio, I agree with kathryn , there is a warmness to you voice , the bracket (–) tip she shared is awesome , i will apply it to my reads too.

      • #58806
        mkell755
        Participant

        Wow – thank you mrtripo9! I really appreciate it. Yes, the bracket tip is gold! I’m using that. Thanks!

        Mary

    • #58524
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Very nice work Mary. Your tone is so warm and inviting. I think that the pace is a little carefully spoken and paced out a but slow. There were some pauses in the first sentence: “Planning a group event can be an enormous undertaking whether it’s a work meeting,” and with this whole part being 1 idea does not need any pausing. My coach suggested putting brackets around ideas [—-] that signify that it is 1 idea and so there does not need to be pauses there. Nice work! 🙂

      • #58565
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the Feedback Katelyn! I definitely like the bracket idea to keep phrases and thoughts together, thanks for that! I will work on unnecessary pauses too. In my head I’m trying t o keep it moving but no too fast, but a random pause doesn’t help that. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #58457
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Hello Mary,

      This was well done. You enunciated good words and sounded conversational. You were pausing a lot though, and much of it was midsentence. My coach Art advised me to only pause at periods and commas. Also, it sounded like you said “ken” instead of “can.” Your tone leaves something to be desired. Indeed you sound confident but not very interested and I think that is crucial for commercial scripts.

      I hope this helps,
      Tim D.

      • #58465
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Tim! Thanks for the feedback. I hear “ken” now instead of “can”, so I will work on that. I think too that I may be unintentionally pausing to make sure I’m not reading too quick, but if it sounds like a pause that needs work as well. I really was interested in this but will work on a more interested-sounding tone. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #58435
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hi all!

    I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving, despite the unusual circumstances this year.

    I had some new studio equipment come in this week, and today was my first day test driving some of it.

    This script is from the library; found under documentaries, but it sounds like a script for a travel app.

    (Note: Where I come from, we say route as “root”.)

    Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

    Kathy

    Route 66

    #2 Route 66

    While officially Route 66 no longer exists, the majority of it remains to be driven and
    enjoyed. The turn-by-turn road description will guide you on your journey through all
    eight states from Chicago to Los Angeles. Not only will it help you to stay on track, but
    you’ll also find some background information on the hundreds of roadside attractions

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by kfvoice.
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    • #58439
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy! I enjoyed this read. Very smooth and flowed well! The only thing I noticed was that the word “guide” seemed to be stretched out or given more emphasis than needed? That is nitpicky on my part. Very good!

      P.S. We say “root” too, and 26 miles of Route 66 runs through my city, Tulsa!

      Mary

      • #58467
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback, Mary! Noted!

        I always thought it would be interesting to take a road trip traveling Route 66!

        Thanks again!

        Kathy

        • #58475
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Kathy! If you ever do decide to travel Route 66 it is pretty quirky and interesting! 🙂

          Mary

    • #58438
      kfvoice
      Participant

      I can’t seem to edit this again, but I noticed (only after uploading my recording), that I completely skipped a word in my last line. Oops.

  • #58432
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Thanks for your feedback! I’m enjoying getting to know you all through your recordings 🙂

    “It’s Macy’s Thanksgiving sale. Storewide savings for the whole family. All women’s coats and jackets…30-50 percent off. All men’s outerwear…25-50 percent off. And all kids’ jackets, hats, and gloves…up to 60 percent off. Macy’s Thanksgiving Sale. All you need for the holidays.”

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    • #58456
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Your voice is very fitting for the read. You performed a good tempo and enunciated fitting words. Although, I personally think your tone makes you sound like a machine… It’s almost as if you’re just reading it without any apparent interest. If you want listeners to be attracted to your client, it’s important to sound interested yourself. Also, I think your listing of the products and percentages could do with more variation. (I would suggest enunciating the percentages in one, the products in another, you could even raise the pitch of “and.”)
      All in all, you’re doing well. I hope this helps.

    • #58440
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdahgirl! Yes it is interesting hearing many of the same voices and getting to know everyone a little!

      Great read – very good flow and tone, and good building emphasis on the 3 levels of percentages of sales (30-50, 25-50, and 60). Your tone is very pleasant and well-suited for this type of commercial. Very good!

      Mary

  • #58418
    touzet
    Participant

    Tried out this Atlanta Bread Co. Script:

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    • #58536
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      wow this is great

    • #58455
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You sir are FANTASTIC! You brought the script to life with perfect pace, fitting enunciations, and not too long of pauses. I would recommend though, unless this is your natural speaking voice, you should not perform with such a low pitch. You sound rather gravelly and I feel that sounds like you’re slacking off before the read is done. A relaxed tone is fitting, but don’t overdo it.

    • #58450
      touzet
      Participant

      Thanks for giving this a listen and the generous comments.

    • #58441
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Touzet! Very good! Nice warm and rich tone, sounded great! Good flow and inflection throughout. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58430
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Oh man, you have such a great voice and I could listen to it all day! For this read, I thought it was awesome. I might play around with not settling at the bottom of the voice – the higher inflections still have such a rich color but a little more inviting for a place with soup in a bread bowl 🙂 🙂 Can’t wait to hear your voice all over the place!

    • #58426
      RYoung
      Participant

      Top notch on this one Touzet! I have no critique to offer you, very nice!

  • #58415

    Thank you,Mary.Really appreciate it.

  • #58411
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! I’m looking for any and all feedback on this read (recorded on my phone). I’m trying to work on smiling during the read and for a natural delivery. Thanks for listening!

    Mary

    Mr. Coffee Elite Plus
    Now when you stumble out of bed with a million things to do, at least the coffee’s ready. Mr. Coffee Elite Plus coffeemaker starts brewing whenever you say. You decide the night before, push a few buttons and go to bed. You’ll wake up to a fresh, hot p*t of steaming salvation. Now that’s what we call a real eye-opener.

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    • #58459
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I like that Mary. Good job.

      • #58466
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks Robert!

        Mary

    • #58431
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Great job Mary! I listened to one of yours a day or two ago and can hear a difference with the “smile” in your voice. It’s awesome!

      • #58442
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Burdahgirl – thanks for the feedback! I have been working on smiling during the read more, so I’m glad it is noticeable to others. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #58402
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Here’s another script I did. Do you think my acoustic set up works well? My main concern is if there is a noticeable hum from my computer… Any thoughts on my performance would also be appreciated. Thanks for the help.

    Sandals
    Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.

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    • #58454
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Hey everyone. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll definitely take it to heart. Although I wonder why I didn’t receive an email that you’d replied… The old Feedback Forum did that all the time.

    • #58413
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Tim!

      Great read!

      My feedback here is for your audio set up.

      I felt like there was a louder hum here, than in your first reading I gave feedback on.

      Your reading started out quiet and whisper like at the beginning, and then the volume of your read in the second sentence got louder. It started around “where love…”. I am not sure if this is part of your audio edit, or if your tone changed.

      Have you sent in a audio sample for the engineers to listen to?

      Overall, good job!

      Kathy

    • #58408
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Good read. Your voice had a nice low tone which suited this script well. Even with the quieter tone, I was not hearing any humming. Good job!

      Mary

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