Hi Robert, these sounds really good! Your voice is perfect for this genre, it sounds very authentic. I think the voice level is better than last night too. Very good!
I think you brought the scripts to life very well. Your voice is a great fit and the words you enunciated were well picked. Only problem is, I think your pauses are too long and the long silence at the end should be omitted. Also, in the first script you paused between “lean beef’s” and “actually lower…” You need to avoid pausing midsentence.
A true force of nature is undeniable. Makes waves. Can’t be tamed. Begs to be heard. And inspired a true original. Responsibly sourced. Sustainably made. With natural ingredients. For a moisture that’s relentless. A true force of nature. Just like you. Burt’s Bees.
SFish I love this read. The script suits your tone, pacing was on point and you sound like a Burt’s Bee user sharing your love for the product with a friend.
It’s easy to see why Ford has the top sellin’ pickup truck in America. Because, when you look into a Ford, you’ll find innovation, attention to details, and exceptional value – qualities that have made the Ford F Series America’s best sellin’ truck for 43 straight years. With this kind of success, the next thing you’ll see when you look into a Ford pickup might just be yourself. Have you driven a Ford lately?
Hi Bill – This is great! Very professional read and production. I agree with others, this sounds like a commercial that’s already out there – I can’t think of anything to critique on this one. It sounds very natural and friendly and makes me want to think about trying a Ford! Great!
Magnificent read! You’re take on the list is an inspiration for me. I can’t find anything wrong with your performance, except the ending… I think you should include a longer pause between the last and second to last sentence.
Hi all! Here is my daily recording (done on my phone) for your feedback. Thank you!
Mary
First State Bank
In today’s world, everyone needs a bank they can rely on. But, unfortunately, most modern banks are just too big to provide the kind of attention and service you need. First State Bank is the exception. At First State, you’ll discover that banking can be personal and friendly, as well as modern and efficient. FIRST STATE BANK. Today’s bank.
You’re on the right track. The tempo, pitch and volume you utilized is well performed, though I think you should work on your tone because it makes the script sound more like a narration. Think about who would be listening to this and why, that will help you determine the tone.
Nice job on the intro to this commercial which states the problem with big Banks! The solution which is first state Bank should have a more enthusiastic tone and pace also may be highlight the name a little more if that makes sense?
Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback! Great, I’m glad you can see some improvement – yeah! You are right about the emphasis on FIRST STATE BANK, especially noting the way it is written in all caps. I will work on that. Thanks again!
Hi Robert! Good reads! It sounded a little quiet / muffled on my end; I have not heard that before on your reads. Both were good and sounded really good for you. Good work!
Magnificent read, you’re really pulling off the kind and encouraging tone that Nationwide is known for. Only problem I have is your tempo, I think you may be speaking too fast and it’s causing you to say certain words incorrectly like “to” and “ease.” Unless it says in your audition that the read HAS to be less than 30 seconds, don’t fret about saying everything so quickly.
Hi guys. So i’m working really hard practicing different types of narration to find out where I fit naturally with my voice. This is an explainer piece (took me a while to figure out what an “Explainer” even is…) Anyways. I loved this copy and really connected with it – being a songwriter, arts and craft person and what not. I hope this works with my voice. Thanks in advance! (I’m leaving my breaths in on purpose)
“Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It’s the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation or a possibility, therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards, but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.”
So helpful thank you for all the positive encouragement. I think eLearning and Explainer could be a good route but I will keep practicing with many different things 🙂
Your voice is really delightful with this! You sound very friendly, approachable…relatable. I haven’t heard anything else of yours, but if you can find a way to channel this genuine connection into everything you read, your voice will work well in lots of places!
Hello Edge Forum!
This is my first submission…I’m quite new to Voice Over, very new to editing with Audacity, and have not yet recorded my Demo. Just looking to get some feedback on this file from the Edge Script library, whether about interpretation, sound quality, etc. I have a lot to learn 😉
Thanks!
Another script for performance feedback, let me have it!
By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe. H****r was tightening the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had a secret weapon, the strangest military establishment in the world. Crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British, all came here with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of the Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted would be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.
Hi Damian! Really good read, and your voice seems very good for this genre. Good energy and pacing throughout and your voice is very clear.
I heard a few added and deleted words and phrases here and there – you said “and H****r began to tighten the noose…” instead of the way it was written “H****r was tightening the noose…” “unusual” added before secret weapon, etc. I realize this is practice, but I’ve been told to practice the scripts exactly as written, complete with commas, periods, exclamation points and so on. It’s good practice to be as exact as possible. That being said, it was really well read, I enjoyed it!
Good narration work Damian. I would suggest dialing the tone down slightly, it sounds a little announcery, (sorry I hate that word), It’s been pinned on me as well. I do enjoy your informative style though very believable.
Hi Damien, nice work with this piece. I thoroughly enjoy learning about WW2 so this read is a treat. I could imagine a little animation going on with this so great job connecting to the copy! I think the list ” Crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British” is challenging. Long lists like this are SO HARD, but I think taking it a tad bit slower and using tone, inflection and pitch to vary it a little more so people can comprehend what you are saying would be helpful. I think I mentioned I could hear your noise gate from a previous comment, and I think it is still at a setting that is too intense and obvious – specifically at “If Enigma could be penetrated, (breath fluttering) everything H****r” I could hear it cut in and out. You will need to work on sound treating your space more instead of relying on the noise gate. Try uploading a few reads without the noise gate at all I would be curious to hear it. Just my 2 cents. Nice work though I really enjoyed this read and I think your voice fits very well with this genre.
This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by katelyndawnvo.
Hi, friends! See attached for a couple of auditions I recently submitted for commercial reads. Please let me know what you think! All constructive feedback is welcome and encouraged!
I agree that the second was more effective because of the emotion you brought to it via the persona you assumed and by effectively varying pitch and tempo. This also made the tag line stand out strongly throughout the entire script.
I’ll be a little picky about the first. It seemed a little flat to me, starting with the tone of your initial “Hello”. I can envision a read of this copy being a little more energetic overall and especially when you get to the part that delivers the solution and its benefits after defining the problem. I also heard uptalk twice to (maybe) emphasize words that in context, didn’t need the uptalk – one was “disengaged” (@9 secs) and the other was “ease” (@19 secs).
Your voice was clear in both and the copy was nicely articulated.
Both reads were good but the second was definitely better fitted for the content. I think you could pick up the pace on your first read a little and place some emphasis on words that you think should stand out to get your point accross.
Good reads overall, with clarity and pacing, and varying your tone in each read.
I felt you connected to the second script the best.
The first script, I agree with others, that there needed to be more enthusiasm. The plosives were a bit distracting in this read, too. Are you using a pop filter? Too close to the mic?
Hi Sabpierotti! Good reads here. I liked the variation in tone and energy between the scripts. Both were good reads for you, but you sound more invested in the cancer piece. Keep up the good work!
Hi there! Really nice work on these. I think the cancer one fit best, the first one I think could have used more of a friendly/happy/upbeat tone and agree with the previous comment that a smile can help. I think you sound very genuine, caring and warm for the cancer read. Maybe with posting auditions though it would be great to know what the audition directions were to better help us with discerning how your delivery fulfills the direction. Just an idea 🙂 really nice work!
This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by katelyndawnvo.
For the first one try smiling for a more friendly “Hello” since it is a commercial. For both reads there are some plosives and mouth noise from possibly being too close to the mic. Otherwise both reads are very conversational and good job varying the tone and attitude between both scripts.