Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello! I’d love to get your performance only feedback on my commercial read homework (recorded on iPad). Thanks so much for listening.
Peet’s Coffee
Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there’s a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s. -
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Another script for review, thanks for listening.
Truth is most motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands? -
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Practicing corporate narration. Here are a couple of samples I recorded on my iPhone, so please only feedback on performance and not quality. Thank you in advance!
Script 1: Congratulations, you just bought Allstate Homeowners Insurance. And now, if your home or property suffers a covered loss or is damaged, you’ll be covered, and that’s a good feeling. However there are some things that can’t be replaced, so that’s why it’s is important to prevent these damages from occurring in the first place. Here, you’ll learn what steps you can take to make your home safe and secure.
Script 2: Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
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Awesome! I think both scripts are really well done. Your voice is friendly and conversational. You sound like a great fit for corporate narration and E-learning.
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Hi! You did a great job varying inflection on the lists, not a lot of glottal stops either. Maybe just watch out for turning “and” into “n” (I do this all the time, and wish I had a solid strategy to offer, but I’m working on it.) Your tone and delivery sound really natural and polished. Great work!!
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Jack Daniels ‘’Giving The Right Gift’’
Givin’ the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say a
“boss”, a “friend”, or a “brother”. Second, get some wrappin’
paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racquet.
they’re gonna know what it is. but that’s part of the charm.
And last…and most important! Step 3. Be there when they
open it! -
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all of your feedback (recorded on my phone). Thanks all!
Mary
Walgreen’s Specialty Pharmacy
At Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy, we provide the convenience of a one-stop approach for all your prescription needs. Using Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy enables our clinical pharmacists to review your entire patient profile, so we can identify potential harmful drug interactions and other conflicts that may result from using multiple pharmacies. The Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy care team—from pharmacists and nurses to insurance advocates—is ready to provide the personalized, supportive, and dependable care that meets your unique needs.-
You have a lovely voice for this…I’d just watch how long you make your phrases to make it even more natural. It feels a little bit choppy. For example, your pitch drops after “Specialty Pharmacy” like it was the end of a sentence. Need to keep your flow going and not have more phrase or sentence breaks than necessary.
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Hello all! A little recent narration homework posted here. I appreciate you all listening so much.
9 Planets
About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.
AETNA CHOICE
The benefits and services available to you as a member of the Select Choice plan have been designed with your personal health in mind. Our goal is to provide you and your family with convenient, comprehensive health services, and to protect you from the high cost of both routine preventive care and major illness. Please keep your Select Choice Member Card with you. The number on the card is your member number. You may be asked this number when seeking services from Select Choice providers, and when calling Aetna Health Plans with questions relating to your coverage.
Making Candy
What exactly goes into candy to make it so sweet and yummy? Join Professor Hoody on a fantastic journey to find out how candy is really made. In Making Candy, the professor’s quantum transporter sends him to a real chocolate factory to explore the candy world. You can just taste the excitement in this candy-coated adventure.
All the best,
john
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1) I love the “wonder” in your voice for the space narration.
2) Good tone, but you have a tendency to “end” a sentence at the comma…make sure the momentum carries through the “and.”
3) Also wonderful tone…and I actually like the higher pitch. It may not be your usual speaking range, but if this is a script targeted at kids, I think it would be quite appropriate to do something a little less “natural.” -
Hi John, good reads! They all flowed well and were very clear.
Script 1 – I liked this one for your voice. It had a sense of mystery about it.
Script 2 – This topic was good also for your voice.
Script 3 – I liked the enthusiasm for this read, but it sounded like you raised your voice in pitch more for this one, which did not sound as natural to me as for the other 2 scripts. There was a longer than needed pause right after “…how candy is really made.” Overall very good!Mary
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Hello everyone!
Began training with Art Bruder last week, and here are my homework assignment recordings for Commercials.
I would greatly appreciate the feedback and look forward to hearing any replies!
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Hi Aaron! I liked these reads! You have a nice tone that flows well and is very clear, and each one sounded unique for the script which is great
Script 1: Good casual attitude, sounded very friendly and your voice had a nice smile in it
Script 2: Good smooth rich tone in this one. There were some pauses that did not make sense to me “we prefer a glass” vs. how you read it as “we…prefer a glass”, minor point
Script 3: Great energy! I could hear the smile in your voice and you had a great sense of enthusiasm. I think this was my favorite for you. Great job!Mary
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Hello all! Here is my recording for tonight (recorded on my phone). Thanks for any and all feedback!
Mary
Birds Eye: Cheddar Broccoli Bake
Introducing the Cheddar Broccoli Bake from Birds Eye. A creamy, gooey, melty, deliciously decadent way to eat broccoli….Yes Please! Birds Eye – a new twist on veggies.-
Good job, Mary! Suggestion: try keeping the inflections in your list, but tighten the pauses between words. See how it sounds.
Kathy
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New commercial homework! Kinda outside my comfort zone, so I’d love feedback on how I can improve this – sounding enthusiastic without sounding fake.
We all deserve more summer. So DQ is bringing you two summer favorites in one with the new Drumstick Blizzard with peanuts. A Drumstick, the original sundae cone, and our world-famous vanilla soft-serve. Let’s fit more summer into every bite. DQ. Happy tastes good.
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Hi, everyone! Happy Saturday!
See below for a regional TV commercial I auditioned for. The audience are community members of Solano County, CA, and the commercial is a PSA to wear a mask. Looking forward to what you think! All feedback is encouraged!
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Hi Sabpierotti, great read! Very good tone, energy and pacing. It did seem just a tiny bit rushed at the end of questions, but not by much. I like the texture and rasp in your voice that appears to come naturally and makes it sound nice and conversational. Very good!
Mary
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I like this read a lot. You’re really good at asking questions in a way that feels authentic which isn’t always easy to do!
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