Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,047 replies, 724 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
-
Replies
-
Hello all! A little recent narration homework posted here. I appreciate you all listening so much.
9 Planets
About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.
AETNA CHOICE
The benefits and services available to you as a member of the Select Choice plan have been designed with your personal health in mind. Our goal is to provide you and your family with convenient, comprehensive health services, and to protect you from the high cost of both routine preventive care and major illness. Please keep your Select Choice Member Card with you. The number on the card is your member number. You may be asked this number when seeking services from Select Choice providers, and when calling Aetna Health Plans with questions relating to your coverage.
Making Candy
What exactly goes into candy to make it so sweet and yummy? Join Professor Hoody on a fantastic journey to find out how candy is really made. In Making Candy, the professor’s quantum transporter sends him to a real chocolate factory to explore the candy world. You can just taste the excitement in this candy-coated adventure.
All the best,
john
-
1) I love the “wonder” in your voice for the space narration.
2) Good tone, but you have a tendency to “end” a sentence at the comma…make sure the momentum carries through the “and.”
3) Also wonderful tone…and I actually like the higher pitch. It may not be your usual speaking range, but if this is a script targeted at kids, I think it would be quite appropriate to do something a little less “natural.” -
Hi John, good reads! They all flowed well and were very clear.
Script 1 – I liked this one for your voice. It had a sense of mystery about it.
Script 2 – This topic was good also for your voice.
Script 3 – I liked the enthusiasm for this read, but it sounded like you raised your voice in pitch more for this one, which did not sound as natural to me as for the other 2 scripts. There was a longer than needed pause right after “…how candy is really made.” Overall very good!Mary
-
-
Hello everyone!
Began training with Art Bruder last week, and here are my homework assignment recordings for Commercials.
I would greatly appreciate the feedback and look forward to hearing any replies!
-
Hi Aaron! I liked these reads! You have a nice tone that flows well and is very clear, and each one sounded unique for the script which is great
Script 1: Good casual attitude, sounded very friendly and your voice had a nice smile in it
Script 2: Good smooth rich tone in this one. There were some pauses that did not make sense to me “we prefer a glass” vs. how you read it as “we…prefer a glass”, minor point
Script 3: Great energy! I could hear the smile in your voice and you had a great sense of enthusiasm. I think this was my favorite for you. Great job!Mary
-
-
Hello all! Here is my recording for tonight (recorded on my phone). Thanks for any and all feedback!
Mary
Birds Eye: Cheddar Broccoli Bake
Introducing the Cheddar Broccoli Bake from Birds Eye. A creamy, gooey, melty, deliciously decadent way to eat broccoli….Yes Please! Birds Eye – a new twist on veggies.-
Good job, Mary! Suggestion: try keeping the inflections in your list, but tighten the pauses between words. See how it sounds.
Kathy
-
-
-
-
New commercial homework! Kinda outside my comfort zone, so I’d love feedback on how I can improve this – sounding enthusiastic without sounding fake.
We all deserve more summer. So DQ is bringing you two summer favorites in one with the new Drumstick Blizzard with peanuts. A Drumstick, the original sundae cone, and our world-famous vanilla soft-serve. Let’s fit more summer into every bite. DQ. Happy tastes good.
-
-
Hi, everyone! Happy Saturday!
See below for a regional TV commercial I auditioned for. The audience are community members of Solano County, CA, and the commercial is a PSA to wear a mask. Looking forward to what you think! All feedback is encouraged!
-
Hi Sabpierotti, great read! Very good tone, energy and pacing. It did seem just a tiny bit rushed at the end of questions, but not by much. I like the texture and rasp in your voice that appears to come naturally and makes it sound nice and conversational. Very good!
Mary
-
-
I like this read a lot. You’re really good at asking questions in a way that feels authentic which isn’t always easy to do!
-
-
-
Hi there! So in my quest for finding narration genres that fit me I wrote this script as a possible option for my narration demo. It is for kids in grades 2-4. I think I might do well with elementary eLearning because of my natural enthusiastic voice. I think it could resonate with kids projects. This is a little elearning read about ancient egypt!
In this history lesson we are going to learn all about ancient egypt! Did you know that Egypt was one of the first advanced societies in the ancient world? Egypt was ruled by pharaohs who were like kings and queens. It had its own religion, culture and writings called hieroglyphs. Egypt is located in the northeastern part of Africa right near the Nile river.
-
-
Duracell Quantum Batteries
SFX: Children Giggling: Then Music Under
This Duracell truck has some very special power.
It’s filled with new Duracell Quantum batteries.
These red batteries are so powerful that this year
they’ll power all the Hasbro toys donated to “Toys for Tots”.
Wanna help power some smiles?SFX: Children Giggling: Then Music Under
Duracell. Trusted everywhere.
-
Overall good reading! If I’m nit-picking (for your sake), I’d say in the first line “This Duracell truck has some very special power” there’s an ok shade of intrigue, but when you follow up with the rest of the script, it needs a bit more enthuziasm/wonderment. In my opinion, it should be subtle, but it should have the same energy level as if you had just invented these batteries, you know they are going to make big waves in the industry (and thus for the children), and you can’t wait to share this information. I guess in a word, I felt like it was just barely sleepy in the middle. When selling products, the psychology is (often), “Hey, here’s this new thing that I just happened across and it’s so wonderful that I’m sharing this NEW and EXCITING thing with you; be the first to capitilize on this hidden gem!”. which is not to say you didn’t do that (nor am I pretending to speak down to you in anyway) but I guess overall I feel a tiny ummpf is needed for the product name itself. hardsell the batteries just a smidge more. make sure the consumer knows the product name and associates with it positively (as opposed to a lecture battery economics(again, not that you did that)).
This is just my first impression, and maybe I got hung-up on a non-issue tho. Your read is good. If you told me this was an existing ad that had already been preened, I wouldn’t bat an eye. Sounds professional.
-
-
I like the music and sound effects you added to this read! My only suggestion here is to perhaps swap out the kids giggling with another clip? In my opinion it sound like a creepy, unnatural giggle LOL but that’s just me! Also, with your read I suggest picking up the pace a tad. Other than that, you have a great voice!
-
-
I went and picked out of one of my past scripts from a session that will not be making it to my narration demo. I thought this one would be a fun and challenging read to revisit. It is from a longer copy, but I took the first two sentences only, as they alone were a mouthful from the beginning. It took me a little while to be happy for tonight. Let me know your thoughts. I appreciate it all. Thanks, everyone.
Kathy
Explainer-Training
35 mm vs. 50 mm vs 85 mm Lens Comparison for Portrait Photography
In this photography lens tutorial, we will be demonstrating the differences between three fixed focal length lenses: the 35mm, 50mm, and 85mm. These are the three most popular lenses used for portrait photography.
-
Hi Kathy! Great read! Very clear and flowed really well in a conversational tone. Really good job!
Mary
-
Thanks, Mary! The second sentence got a little “sloppy” with mouth sounds, so I am afraid it didn’t come out very clear…
Kathy
-
-
-
-
Hi everyone! Here is a recording for your review (recorded on my phone). I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you!
Mary
Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Cafe with signature paninis, daily soups and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.-
Hi Mary! Good read with nice pacing; varying your pitch. In your second sentence perhaps emphasis “breakfast” instead of “entire”? Minor suggestion.
Kathy
-
-
-
Practicing some narration. Here are two Telephony Voiceovers and I would like feedback on performance, not quality since I recorded these on my iPhone.
Script 1: A representative will be with you shortly. Meanwhile, summer is already here at L.G. Energy! If it’s time to enjoy a new air conditioner, you’ll also enjoy knowing about our money-saving rebates. Ask your representative about them.
Script 2: Thank you for holding. Did you know that you can now receive your American Express statement completely online. No more paper bills! We’ll even send you an email reminder when your statement is ready for viewing. To see if you can take advantage of this free service; log on to americanexpress.com/paperless. Or ask your representative.
Thank you!!!!
-
-
-
Hi fleishman619!
These were good reads! I have read these both before. I am drawn to telephony.
Script 1: The tone and pacing were good in this read, although, the last sentence seemed a little rushed with the very last two words. Watch out for adding words in your read, too. Omit “And” in your third sentence, as it is not in the script. Also, since this is for “L.G. Energy”, uptick and emphasis here.
Script 2: The read was clear, and well enunciated, but I would lower your volume with “.com”, and not emphasis that specifically. It’s clear, which is good, but just lower the volume. Does that make sense? To me, I hear this copy with a warmer tone. The pace seemed a tad fast, too. Dial it back a notch, and see how it sounds.
I hope this helps! Keep it up! Look forward to more from you!
Kathy
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
