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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I’m trying to narrow some scripts down for my demo: I’ve attached VO samples of copy I am iffy about; tour, travel, food, & telephony. Please only give feedback on performance, as I recorded on my phone. Thank you so much in advance!
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Hi Fleishman – All were very well done! You’ve got great tone and tempo and know how to select and emphasize the key words throughout each script. My order is (2) reef, (3) tacos, (1) tour and (4) telephony. Your change in tone and toward the end of Reef when you started to describe the “bad news” was perfectly done to reflect the growing problem. I also thought your personality came though the most in Taco but as others mentioned, it’s more a commercial and less a narration script so demo genre is important for an “in or out” decision. In just 2-3 sentences, The Tour made me feel I was starting to be informed and educated, not lectured, by someone who was truly interested in the subject matter. Telephony was very well done as well but as with Taco, this is a separate genre from the others. I’ve been taught that it is best to have a single genre as the theme for a demo file so agents and prospective clients can more easily categorize you and your work.
Good luck
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Hi Fleishman, great job on all 4 reads! You have a really nice clear voice with great inflections and flow throughout. My order for you is 3 Tacos, 4 Telephony, 1 Tour, 2 Barrier Reef. I like how you were able to vary up the read feeling and emotion dependent on the topic as well, really good. I think the Tacos read appealed the most to me because I could tell you were having fun and it sounded a tiny bit more natural than the rest, but really all 4 were very good. Great job!
Mary
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Hi! These are all really fantastic! I agree that if this is a narration demo the food option feels like a commercial. I would personally avoid putting telephony on a demo as I don’t know if that part of the industry is growing as more and more people are using “automated” human voices. But you may want to research that niche to find out and talk to your coach about that? I think these are awesome and you should definitely include the first 2 on the demo! Nice work!
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Nice job on varying your tone on all the scripts! They were all good reads, too.
I am not sure if this helps, but I liked tour (3), food (2), and telephony (1). The food script would work for an in-show narration for a food show, but it might need to be written or read a little differently to not sound so commercially. But, I agree with Beckolin, if you plan to do a commercial demo, this would fit perfectly.
Kathy
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You sound wonderful on all four, quite honestly…but I particularly like the quality of your voice in the first and last (tour and telephony.) If this is a narration demo, the food one doesn’t feel right…sounds more appropriate for a commercial demo. However, you performed it really well, so if you’re doing both narration and commercial, that would be a strong contender.
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Hello again Forum,
Here’s my 2nd submission…trying MP3 this time, which apparently works better! It’s the “Upstart Corporate Conference” narration from the script library. I’m just picking things that I haven’t done before to practice both reading and editing. Aside from pacing and vocal quality, I’m trying to figure out my settings on my interface and in Audacity. Thanks in advance for any input!-
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Hi Beckolin!
This is a really great read! Your voice is suited for trainer narration.
I am not sure if you want audio quality feedback, however, overall, it sounded good to me.
I did hear some very minor noise in the beginning and ending of your recording, but that is something that can be cut out or eliminated with noise reduction.
I think I heard a little “dead” space between sentences (‘sold.’ That’s). I am not sure if you were just really quiet, or you made edits in the script, but I noticed the sound difference. It was almost unnatural sounding. Maybe it is just me.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Here’s the script, if anyone wants to see it: Welcome back everyone. In this next segment, we’re going to be looking at the evolution of our selling methodology. Like we said before, UpStart’s target demographic is millennials, and how they want to be sold to is unlike any generation before them.
In fact, many of you may be millennials, or be just like millennials yourselves – and that’s why you’re a good fit for this job. You’re the kind of consumer who is checking online reviews, looking at a company’s Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and really buying into a company’s branding and ethos before you’re ‘sold.’
That’s why UpStart preaches a relationship-focused sales strategy. We will equip you with the time, resources and backup to build strong, authentic relationships with potential clients, instead of pushing a product at all costs.
It’s integral that our clients have a real, normal human first interaction with our sales staff, where we simply tell them what we’re offering, and educate them on the state of the startup scene in their market. It’s absolutely vital that you don’t rush the first date at UpStart. Interested clients have seen our Instagram ads, they get it.
We want to make them feel like they’re having a link up with a buddy in a coffee shop.
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Commercial read homework for your performance feedback only. Thanks so much!
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place theme park!
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Hello, commercial read homework read #2, for your feedback on performance only. Thanks so much!!
Trendi.com. It’s the #1 shopping site for top name brands at up to 75% off. Great style, great value and everything ships free. Trendi.com. Everything you love, for less.
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Hello! I’d love to get your performance only feedback on my commercial read homework (recorded on iPad). Thanks so much for listening.
Peet’s Coffee
Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there’s a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s. -
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Another script for review, thanks for listening.
Truth is most motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands? -
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Practicing corporate narration. Here are a couple of samples I recorded on my iPhone, so please only feedback on performance and not quality. Thank you in advance!
Script 1: Congratulations, you just bought Allstate Homeowners Insurance. And now, if your home or property suffers a covered loss or is damaged, you’ll be covered, and that’s a good feeling. However there are some things that can’t be replaced, so that’s why it’s is important to prevent these damages from occurring in the first place. Here, you’ll learn what steps you can take to make your home safe and secure.
Script 2: Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
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Awesome! I think both scripts are really well done. Your voice is friendly and conversational. You sound like a great fit for corporate narration and E-learning.
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Hi! You did a great job varying inflection on the lists, not a lot of glottal stops either. Maybe just watch out for turning “and” into “n” (I do this all the time, and wish I had a solid strategy to offer, but I’m working on it.) Your tone and delivery sound really natural and polished. Great work!!
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Jack Daniels ‘’Giving The Right Gift’’
Givin’ the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say a
“boss”, a “friend”, or a “brother”. Second, get some wrappin’
paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racquet.
they’re gonna know what it is. but that’s part of the charm.
And last…and most important! Step 3. Be there when they
open it! -
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all of your feedback (recorded on my phone). Thanks all!
Mary
Walgreen’s Specialty Pharmacy
At Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy, we provide the convenience of a one-stop approach for all your prescription needs. Using Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy enables our clinical pharmacists to review your entire patient profile, so we can identify potential harmful drug interactions and other conflicts that may result from using multiple pharmacies. The Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy care team—from pharmacists and nurses to insurance advocates—is ready to provide the personalized, supportive, and dependable care that meets your unique needs.-
You have a lovely voice for this…I’d just watch how long you make your phrases to make it even more natural. It feels a little bit choppy. For example, your pitch drops after “Specialty Pharmacy” like it was the end of a sentence. Need to keep your flow going and not have more phrase or sentence breaks than necessary.
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Hello all! A little recent narration homework posted here. I appreciate you all listening so much.
9 Planets
About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.
AETNA CHOICE
The benefits and services available to you as a member of the Select Choice plan have been designed with your personal health in mind. Our goal is to provide you and your family with convenient, comprehensive health services, and to protect you from the high cost of both routine preventive care and major illness. Please keep your Select Choice Member Card with you. The number on the card is your member number. You may be asked this number when seeking services from Select Choice providers, and when calling Aetna Health Plans with questions relating to your coverage.
Making Candy
What exactly goes into candy to make it so sweet and yummy? Join Professor Hoody on a fantastic journey to find out how candy is really made. In Making Candy, the professor’s quantum transporter sends him to a real chocolate factory to explore the candy world. You can just taste the excitement in this candy-coated adventure.
All the best,
john
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1) I love the “wonder” in your voice for the space narration.
2) Good tone, but you have a tendency to “end” a sentence at the comma…make sure the momentum carries through the “and.”
3) Also wonderful tone…and I actually like the higher pitch. It may not be your usual speaking range, but if this is a script targeted at kids, I think it would be quite appropriate to do something a little less “natural.” -
Hi John, good reads! They all flowed well and were very clear.
Script 1 – I liked this one for your voice. It had a sense of mystery about it.
Script 2 – This topic was good also for your voice.
Script 3 – I liked the enthusiasm for this read, but it sounded like you raised your voice in pitch more for this one, which did not sound as natural to me as for the other 2 scripts. There was a longer than needed pause right after “…how candy is really made.” Overall very good!Mary
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