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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all and Happy New Year! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
WGU
It’s here – the moment that will define you. So think of this moment as your moment – the one you’ve been waiting for. You were built for this and so were we. WGU – the online university where ambition never rests.-
Hi Mary: Nice work here. The pace is just right. The word, “moment” sounds a little indistinct on the end syllable. Also, I would hit “WGU” a little harder. Maybe a longer pause before and after, and more emphasis on the letters. Otherwise, a solid read.
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Great Job Mary! Good timing and very clear. But maybe connecting to the messege of the piece. It seems like an exciting moment. Maybe add a smile here and there and see how that feels? But over all nice and controlled!
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It feels “read”, like I don’t know who you are speaking to with this. Your diction is fine, and you have a nice tone to your voice, but I don’t hear you connecting with the words. I guess start with who you are and who you are speaking to…bring the acting into it more.
Good job, look forward to hearing more!
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Hi Brian, thanks for the feedback! I will work on connecting with the script a little more. I was picturing a colleague, an older student who is going back to finish their degree that I see potential in to be more and that I want to encourage, but it is hard for me to make it sound that way to others. Thank you!
Mary
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Hello!
I’m trying to figure out the pacing for medical narration, I appreciate any and all feedback!“Phytophotodermatitis is a nonimmunologic phototoxic cutaneous eruption resulting from contact with photosensitizing substances found in plants; furocoumarins (present in limes and other plants) are typically implicated and get activated following exposure to sunlight, especially 320-400 nanometer UVA rays.”
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More commercial practice…right now, the things I’m really working on:
– pacing: trying to not rush without slowing down so much that it bogs down the “natural” tone of the read
– connecting/being specific with who I’m talking to, where we are, why I’m talking
– not hitting the conjunctions hard…I tend, for some reason, to really hit the “and” and the “or” in lists harder than needs be, and I’m trying to do these lists in a way that give contrast but don’t emphasize the conjunctions so that the list flows.Here are the three scripts (tried going out of my comfort zone for one of them):
Wet/Dry Vac
It’s not that you’d ever find yourself removing puddles from a remote mountain trail…
But with a full size, cordless, wet-dry vac…you could.
Powerful,… durable…and the ability to run on two batteries for double the run time.Venus Spa Breeze
Every Goddess deserves a little more me time. So there’s new 2 in 1 Venus Spa Breeze. The only razor with lathering shave gel bars infused with a soft fresh scent of white tea. Now you can easily smooth your skin while indulging your sense. Just wet, shave, and relax. Venus Spa Breeze. Reveal the Goddess in you.Spotify
With Spotify, it’s easy to find the right music for every moment – on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. There are millions of tracks on Spotify. So whether you’re working out, partying or relaxing, the right music is always at your fingertips. Soundtrack your life with Spotify. Subscribe or listen for free.-
Hi Brian!
I have been trying to get my feedback to you posted, but I had some issues with the forum.
Overall: Nice reads. Good job on pitch and tone variations.
Script 1: In the opening line, you changed the read, from: It’s not that you’d… to It’s not like you’d…. I am not sure if I would go up in pitch at the ends of the sentences, considering they are not questions, but with that said, it is a different delivery that seems to stand out from the expected. At the same time, the pace/tone on this read sounded the best in your third sentence (at least to me).
Script 2: I liked the delivery. Good tone and pacing. Watch for micro-pausing not intended — noticed a slight break in your third sentence.
Script 3: I, too, liked this read the best. Maybe a little more variation in your first set of lists?: on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. (I did catch an added “on”; just be mindful of this — I think it’s common to do when trying to sound as natural as possible.)
I hope this is helpful! I believe we have the same vocal coach, and I am working on some of the same things you are practicing.
Keep it up! Good job!
Kathy
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Hi Brian:
These are all very well done. Nothing to add for #1. For #2 (Venus…) more emphasis on the word “me” in “me time.” Also, the words “wet” and “shave” are a little too close together. I would add a pause between all three actions, “wet,” “shave,” and “relax”. These are all top quality so these might be nits. Good job!!
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Hi Brian, good reads for all! I think the pacing was good for all, and I did not notice any conjunctions being hit hard at all. I was also trying to imagine who your audience was for all 3. I struggle with having a specific listener myself. Also, since you naturally speak quickly, have you tried a car commercial? Those seem to put a lot of information in a short time slot – as long as you can speak very clearly (like I am hearing here) I think it would be a good fit for you too.
Script 1: I liked the tone of this, like you were telling a friend about why they should use the product. Very authentic feel.
Script 2: I think this one was the one that outside your comfort zone (right?), but you did well varying your tone to be much softer to reflect the product. My guess is your were telling your wife / girlfriend about the product?
Script 3: I like this one the best for you of these 3 – it is spoken with a quick pace but is very clear and appropriate for Spotify. The last time Spotify is mentioned I think could be emphasized a little more, it gets really quiet on that word. This one feels targeted to a friend or nephew / younger relative, again, very authentic feel. I hope that helps – good job!
Mary
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Hi Mary…I do have a car commercial that we’re working on, but not the speed reading part about financing and all that (or like in every pharmaceutical ad where they list all of the side effects), we’re focusing more on the different tones and “characters” I can offer up.
I’ll say that I struggled a little with who I was supposed to be speaking with on #3 as well, so that’s probably why it came through that way. And yes, I need to work on hitting the branding without using a sledge hammer.
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Hi Robert, good job! I agree with what Brian is saying – maybe vary the tone on “now if he could only operate the microwave” to give a little more contrast to how simple this new thing is making his life, if that makes sense. Overall very good, and it seems like a good genre for you.
Mary
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Thanks Mary, I agree that part should have changed tone. I am trying use a lower voice some just to see how it works. Bye the way my microwave is complicated to. I am glad there is a 30s button on it. lol.
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First, I love how you pronounce “theater”…that’s a hard one to pull off and sound natural, but I think you did it.
The first item on the list about his IQ is a little muddled, so maybe a little more enunciation there. And with this list, it needs contrast: here’s a really smart guy who, before now, was stymied by his home theater, but this new product makes it so he’s able to do this thing. As it stands, it’s all delivered in kind of the same tone and urgency…give these list items some more color and contrast so that that last item stands out.
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Okay, I did something different for tonight. It’s definitely narration, but I channeled my inner Rachel Ray for this totally off-the-cuff ad-lib for a real cocktail recipe. Hey, it’s the New Year! 🙂
So this might be more on air improv, and I broke all the VO rules, but hey… it was fun. Let me know what you think!
I have included the original draft script I put together, too, so you can see just how much the audio compares to the original script. I actually skipped a step, and I was bummed, but it allowed me to figure out how to copy and paste in Audacity! Yay!
I am (now) aware I said ‘orange liquor’ instead of ‘orange liqueur’. I can edit that, now that I know how to. 🙂 I also dipped down on the very last word of the last sentence, too. Unlike other parts of the read, I did not plan that, lol — but I was not doing it over! If you are curious, this was my third take, but first take of the entire script. I messed up in the very beginning on the first couple of tries.
Thank you for any feedback! Happy New Year! Cheers!
Kathy
French 75 Tutorial
Happy New Year!
Let’s celebrate with a classic cocktail — the French 75!
Here’s how to make it:
The first thing you are going to do is add one ounce of gin into your shaker … followed by half an ounce of simple syrup … and three-quarter ounce lemon juice.
Add some ice, and shake well … now fine strain into a flute … slowly top off with Champaign … and finally garnish with a lemon twist … and that’s how you make a French 75!
Another version is to substitute the Champaign with sparkling wine. Whatever floats your bubbles…
Cheers, my friends!
Here’s to new beginnings…
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Hi Kathy, You have lovely, inviting voice. Totally feel that you’re casually leaning over the counter showing me, person-to-person, how to make the perfect French 75. (Watch out, Rachael Ray). Great on-air improv, though I feel some of your confidence diminishes when you get to the off-script comic asides (you tend to drop out almost altogether—both aurally and energetically—when you’re joking about this being the most expensive cocktail you’ve…bought…ever). You’re a natural at this, just feel free to infuse that fun energy all the way through your read and don’t shy away from the asides (or slow your breezy pace with too many hanging pauses). Well done!
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As was mentioned above, a very “podcast” vibe for me, but that is an absolute compliment…that’s a podcast I would listen to, and your tone is so conversational that the “vo rules” being broken don’t even matter. And frankly, I think that would make for an amazing commercial for one of the liquors or the glasses or something…it really draws the listener in when it’s real, and not “real”, you know?
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Hi Kathy – that was really fun! I could tell you were having a good time as you were going through the steps – very casual and entertaining! I found myself not really focusing on each word as it was written (as I tend to do), but more enjoying listening, and I think that’s a very good thing we should all strive for. I like the podcast vibe for you! Very good fit. I like the idea of explaining how to do things myself, maybe I’ll give it a try too. Explaining how to do something probably triggers something different in your brain than performing or selling or acting, just my thoughts on that. Very good job!
Mary
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Thank you, Mary!
Podcasting does let you have more free rein, so to speak, this is true. There is not as much pressure to follow the rules, and to be yourself, while still performing and acting a little — like I did here. Clarity/enunciation/pronunciation is still important, but I did this on a whim. Give it a try!
Happy New Year!
Kathy
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Kathy I liked that. It is good to be comfortable talking into the mic like that. I have been working on podcast and put a script together and read it out just to get used to speaking. It is a skill to be able to talk into a mic with no one on the other side and make it sound like you are speaking to someone. I have had a fancy to get into talk radio myself. Anyway, that was good. I think I will make me a gin and Spite Zero to toast your recording.😊 Happy New Year!
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Thanks Robert! Have one for me (right now), lol! I am making “75’s” later for the ball drop…
It really was pretty fun, but I can’t seem to replicate that casualness in my sessions, or other readings. I am sure it will get easier.
I, too, have had podcasts cross my mind. Not sure what, or if I actually would. Time will tell. Good luck to you in that pursuit! Keep us posted!
Happy New Year!
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Trying out a new script I put together. Thanks for any suggestions or feedback. Getting close to putting my demo together. Happy New Year to everyone, lets hope this on is MUCH better than 2020.
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Hi Robert, sounds great! I like John Deere for you, flowed well and sounded very natural. Good music in the background too. Good job on that and Happy New Year!
Mary
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Robert — Awesome! Sounds ready to me! Nice pacing, pitch, and tone. Great choice of music, too — the volume seemed just about right starting out, but then it seemed to compete with your voice. Is it just me?
Kathy
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback (recorded on my phone). I’m working on sounding conversational and making sure I pronounce all the “for”s and “to”s vs. “fer” and “teh”s. Let me know what you think about it, it’s a hard habit to correct for me! 🙂
Mary
Cabelas
Like you, we can’t get enough of the outdoors. It’s in our blood. It’s in our work. It’s in our nature®. So, when you buy Cabelas branded gear, you’re buying tradition. You’re buying exceptional expertise and a better product. It’s gear that’s built to help you get more outdoors for your money. Gear so well made, it’s backed up with our legendary lifetime guarantee. Look for the green badge. It represents the best value and quality anywhere. Cabelas – for a lifetime.-
Good job Mary, nice pacing and tone. You definitely are hitting the right words in this one in my opinion. Keep it up. Happy New Year too!!
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Good job, Mary! Your “for’s” were enunciated clearly on my end. I heard a minor “tah” in It’s gear that’s built to help you get more outdoors for your money. But, I completely understand the struggle…
Kathy
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Hi folks, just uploading a litte narration piece for you tonight AND… maybe we can all learn something about betty crocker while eating some cookie dough or cake batter… Any feedback is appreciated.
Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt.
She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion^ in which users completed a puzzle^ to win a pin cushion.Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters. Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker.
The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.
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