Feedback Forum
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The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication.
Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
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Hi everyone! Getting back into the swing of things after Christmas… I decided to put together a promo-commercial for practice, this one for Flexjobs.
Let me know what you all think. Appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks again!
Kathy
Flexjobs
The #1 job site to find remote, work from home, and flexible job opportunities since 2007.
Flexjobs. Get started now.
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Hi Kathy, very good! I like the upbeat directness of it, sounded really appropriate for the script. “Flexible” sounded like 2 syllables instead of 3 to me – more like “flex-ble”. Also I would probably emphasize “Flexjobs” just a little more as the product name, the pitch seemed really low on that word in particular, but otherwise very good read!
Mary
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Hello all! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. It’s a monologue by the character Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada”. I realize this is a fictional character, but does the emotion and impatience sound authentic? Let me know what you think!
Mary
This stuff’? Oh, ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back.
But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean. You’re also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed cerulean military jackets?
And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic “casual corner” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”
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Mary — If I remember this monologue correctly ( great movie… love watching it… Oscar worthy performance, in my opinion, by Meryl… that wig definitely deserved an award of its own! 🙂 ), the delivery was very soft, almost nonchalant. Does this help?
Kathy
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Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I agree that Meryl was great in that movie!
So, are you saying that my delivery was soft and nonchalant or that the movie’s delivery was soft and nonchalant? Thanks again! Curious as to how it’s being perceived, good or bad 🙂 Thanks!
Mary
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Ah, ok, I see. I was thinking that might have been what you meant. In the movie Miranda had a dismissive tone towards Andy, quieter / softer in delivery but still piercing in the message due to Miranda’s personality.
I was trying for impatience and irritation when I read it, so I was trying to make it sound more emotional. I’m glad an emotion came through on that. Thanks for clarifying! 🙂 mk
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Hi there! Happy holidays you guys!! Here is a practice script for a government commercial, I guess it is a PSA kind of government announcement. Shoutout to my old stomping grounds – Tdot! Going for an emotional read and trying to stretch myself out of my upbeat/energetic/perky natural bend. Hope it hits right.
Government: Voice for the city of Toronto
You know that term “We’re all in this together?” Well, it’s true.
While some of us might be working in government and others not, we’re actually all in the same boat.
You see, we’re citizens as well. We all want the same thing.
A city that works for everyone. As fast and efficient and as relevant as can be.
Thriving, accessible, and inclusive.-
Hi Katelyn — clear, and good pacing and tone.
I liked how you threw out the “comma rule” … from the webinar, Science of Speaking Like a Pro 🙂
With that said, there were some slight micro-pauses where there were no commas (While some of us might be working in government and others not… and As fast and efficient and as relevant as can be.), but it still seemed to work well with the emotional/conversational tone you were going for.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hi Katelyn, good read! You have a nice, clear tone and good emphasis on several key words.
There were 2 places where there were commas shown but no pause (that I could hear) taken (“Well, it’s true”) and (“You see, we’re citizens…), so that made the read seem a little fast to me and not as authentic; I think the pauses at the commas help drive the point home that the government workers are empathetic to the citizens if that makes sense. Otherwise, good job!
Mary
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Hello All and Happy Holidays!
I’ve uploaded two practice commercial spots here for review. Honesty and constructive criticism are welcome as I excercise new technique. Thank you.
-NdehruBUDWEISER ZERO ‘ZERO COMPROMISE’
INTRODUCING BUDWEISER ZERO. ZERO PERCENT ALCOHOL, ZERO GRAMS OF SUGAR,
FULL BUDWEISER FLAVOR. FOR ALL THE MOMENTS YOU WANT A BEER
AND NEED TO STAY ON YOUR GAME. BUDWEISER ZERO, ZERO COMPROMISE.HAMPTON TOYOTA (radio commercial)
At HAMPTON TOYOTA, we‘re having a sale that‘ll blow you away! It‘s our annual July
4th birthday extravaganza. Hundreds of cars, trucks, and vans … at unbelievable rock
bottom prices. Shop around. Then come to HAMPTON because we guarantee the lowest
prices. The right car, the right price, the right dealer. HAMPTON TOYOTA … right
where it counts.-
Hi Ndehru! Welcome!
Script 1: This seemed like a very serious tone for a Budwesier commercial. Your voice and the pacing were good, but I would think it should be a bit more upbeat – you are telling someone about how great it is, but it is presented with such a somber tone. As a suggestion, maybe try the read with an encouraging tone like to your best friend who loves beer but has not heard about it yet. Think about how enthusiastic you would be when telling him about this new product that you think he will like.Script 2: Good energy and tone for a car commercial, way to vary it up. This sounds really believable for your voice, very good!
Mary
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Ok this file should work!
Today we are going to show you six easy tips to help you get started with watercolor. Let’s begin.
The first tip is to pick the right paper. Papers for drawing with watercolors are heavy papers. Why heavy papers? Because we’ll be using a lot of water. If you use a thin paper, it’s just going to wrinkle and bleed through. That is why it is a good idea to use 200 grand paper or heavier. Watercolor papers usually have a rougher texture to catch more water. If you are going to use the paper for mixed media and drawing, better to go for a smooth surface. Tip number 2: Picking the right watercolors. Watercolors come in different forms and shapes. You can purchase a set for a few dollars, or you can pay one hundred dollars for it. In general, the better the colors, the higher the price.-
Hi Tina! Welcome to the forum! I liked your voice – very friendly, straightforward and informative. The pacing and clarity were good and I think you did a good job of varying the tone and to emphasize words here and there to appropriately describe the process of learning to watercolor. Good job!
Mary
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Hi there! Your audio quality is great. Your voice has a nice authoritative quality and could fit nicely for a how to read like this. Overall I felt this read was lacking energy and enthusiasm for the topic. You sounded pretty bored. Throughout you were speaking with a down pitch at the end of sentences and pauses which can make it sound as though one is not very interested or interacting positively with the subject matter. (I do this too). It helps to have someone in mind who you are talking to. Perhaps you have a daughter or niece who is learning how to paint with watercolors. You can imagine a scenario where you are teaching someone you love how to paint with watercolors. What is the scenerio? How do you feel about this subject matter? Find something with this copy that allows you to engage with it emotionally. And if you can remember to smile while you are talking it will help you to sound a bit warmer and more enthusiastic about this copy. Hope this helps! 🙂
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Trying out a Chevy Script. It was a 30 sec script and was fast paced for me to cram in in there. Still aboout .5-.75 seconds long on the actual dialog. Trying to work on my speed. Thanks for any feedback.
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Hi Robert! You have a great, unique voice and this was a very good read. I second Mary with the speeding up of the “fine details” portion of the commercial. My only other suggestion is to give more emphasis to the “legendary” in the first line because you’re setting up this big deal of a car and while the sentence flows nicely, I think punching up the delivery to show your awe/amazement would be something to play with. Also, I think Silverado may pack a bigger punch if you played with going down at the end of the word instead of up in pitch. I hope this is helpful! Well done! This is me actively trying to give you stuff because it really is a good read. Tina
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Hi Robert! Your voice is good for truck commercials! Also, that is a lot of words to cram into 30 seconds! I don’t know if this will work for you, but it seems like in car ads like this they speak a normal pace for the first part of the script (like you did), then really fast towards the end which specifies all the details / fine print, starting with “Get 0% financing…” It always seems almost comically fast how they are able to fit it all in. Good job on this one!
Mary
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Thanks Mary, I have to work on this a few times to get it in 30s. I could try speeding up the financing sentence. I need to practice that. I have gotten a whole better this past year reading faster for sure. But still need to keep after it.
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Hello all! Here is a recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback, a medical commercial. Let me know if my voice sounds authentic for this type of read. Thank you!
Mary
KISQALI
We are the thrivers. Women with metastatic breast cancer. Standing in the struggle. Hustling through the hurt. Asking for science, not sorries. Our time… for more time… has come. Living longer is possible and proven in women taking KISQALI plus Fulvestrant or a non-steroidal aroma taste inhibitor. KISQALI can cause lung problems or an abnormal heartbeat which can lead to death. It can also cause serious skin reactions, liver problems, and low white blood cell counts that may result in severe infections. KISQALI is not approved for use with Tomoxafin.It’s our time…to continue to shine because we are the thrivers. Ask your doctor about KISQALI, the only treatment in its class proven to help women live longer in two clinical trials.
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Hi Mary, I think this topic is a nice fit for your voice. You have a mature voice so I think something that is geared toward women of an older demographic is great. And your pitch/timbre suits well for this medical kind of genre. Nice! For tongue twisters – just keep practicing reading tongue twisters online consistently. I’m not sure if you know the website “howjsay” but it also will play audio of how you say words so that could be useful for those medical words.
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Hi Mary — this had a nice authentic sound for the script. Good pacing in the entire read, too. Perhaps play around with some slight pitch variations. Overall, this was a nice read!
Kathy
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Mary, I thought that was good. This is a good genera for your voice as well. Nice pacing and tone throughout. 👍😊
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Hello and Happy almost New Year, good people! Here are three narration scripts with different tones I am trying out. I really appreciate the time and feedback.
All the best,
John
Animal Heroes
Not all heroes are human. Sometimes heroes bark, meow, or even grunt. They may be covered with fur, have curly tails, or live in an alley. We’re about to meet some real-life animal heroes. Each one of these heroes has performed an amazing rescue. Sometimes they even put themselves in danger to help others. We’ll meet a dog who rescues stray cats. A brave cat who saved her five kittens from a fire. A pig who got help for her owner who was having a heart attack. And a guide dog who led his owner down 71 flights of stairs when the World Trade Center was attacked.Crime Drama Narration
Some crimes committed are so undeniably gruesome that they defy logic and have people asking questions, forever more. The case of Katherine Knight did just that. A woman who not only murdered in cold blood but, then, went on to commit the most despicable act after the brutal slaying.Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car. A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads. Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.-
Hi John!
Script 1: Nice pace. Clear enunciation. Good job on varying your pitch. Watch for trailing off in volume at the end of your sentences (noticed in the second one, the others were good). Be mindful of unnecessary pauses mid-sentence — this happened in your last sentence.
Second 2: Pick up the pace a little for this read. I understand you were going for a dramatic sound for the in-show narration, but to me there was too much stretching out with certain words, and unnecessary pausing.
Script 3: Good tone and enthusiastic read, and pitch variation.Overall, good job! Keep it up! I hope this was helpful!
Kathy
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Hi John, good reads! Good clarity, tone and pacing for each.
Script 1: The light tone of this suggests that it may be for a kid’s narration and it sounds really nice and friendly
Script 2: I like the more sinister tone here, well done. Some of the pauses were not at the commas however. There was a pause after “gruesome” but not after “questions”, and there was a pause after “blood” but not after “but” or “then”. I liked the emphasis on “…did just that”
Script 3: Very authentic read, more upbeat for a car add.
Overall great job!Mary
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Hello everyone, I have another three scripts for everyone to analyze and critique. As always, I pick the scripts I have the hardest time with to get the best feedback.
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Hi Dante!
Good reads! You have a nice warm, rich tone for these scripts.
Script 1: Good pacing; play around with ‘Thanksgrilling’ … you sounded a little close to the mic? Either way, this didn’t come out very clear to me.
Script 2: I thought this was your best read for a narration script. Nice pace, and clear enunciation. Try varying your pitch a little more in the last sentence with the lists.
Script 3: The enthusiasm was good. I would slow down a tad; practice the delivery in the third line (“No more paper bills!), since this line has an exclamation point!I hope this was helpful! Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi Dante! Good reads! Very good clarity, tone and pacing for all.
Script 1: Butterball – I like it! I smiled at the “Happy Thanksgrilling” line.
Script 2: B****r – Sounds good, with good emphasis on words to educate the listener.
Script 3: AMEX – this sounds great, great energy, this is my favorite of the 3 today.
Overall very good and with a nice warm sound!Mary
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Two different Allstate scripts one take on each. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks
Allstate Insurance – Discount
You never know for sure, but there’s this guy in the office that swears that HIS car insurance is the best, and tells everyone what a hot negotiator he is. So you ask him. “Did you get a discount for air bags, or anti-lock brakes? What about a discount for multiple cars?” Now he’s speechless. “Oh…one last thing. You want the name of my insurance company?” To help make sure you’re getting the auto insurance discount you deserve, talk to an Allstate insurance agent in your neighborhood. You’re in good hands with Allstate.Allstate Insurance – Agent
Go ahead… Make a wish… Now call your Allstate agent. Because today, planning makes wishes come true. And your Allstate agent can help make sure that “family security”, “college funding”, and even a “healthy retirement” are in the stars for you. Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life. You’re in good hands with Allstate Life Insurance.-
Hi Robert, good reads! Good tone and clarity throughout. Your voice sounds good for insurance.
Script 1: I too heard an extra word and an omitted word. The pace seemed just a tad bit rushed to me; I felt like there should have been a tiny pause after “…for multiple cars?” and also after “…my insurance company?” I liked the conversational tone of it and the variation in pitch, well done.
Script 2: Good energy, and I also heard an extra “you” in the third sentence. This was a nice friendly conversational read, also very good. Both reads were good!Mary
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Robert — nice job on the one takes! Good pacing, and I liked the varying tone with both reads, too.
Script 1: In the first sentence you omitted and added a word. A tip I try to do is look a few words in advance of what I am reading; less likely to miss a word.
Script 2: I noticed added words in the third sentence. In the last sentence, your volume/tone sounded like it lowered. Maybe it was on my end. Overall, this read had a nice enthusiasm to it. I actually liked this script read the best.
I hope this was helpful!
Kathy
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