Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Good evening all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on smiling more during this type of read. Let me know what you think. Thank you!
Mary
Healthy Choice
Want a lunch that keeps cravings away? Dig into a protein-packed meal that powers your day. With 26 grams of protein and 8 grams of fiber. Healthy Choice power bowls. Find us in the freezer aisle.-
good! but maybe needs a little more energy. A variation I would try is “[…] meal that powers YOUR day.”
Even if you over-do it and sound like an infomercial salesman, understanding that inflection will give you a contrast of the middle-ground you want to find. Practicing doing things to the extreme tone (in both directions) helps organize the range of voices I DO want to use, even if I never use the extreme voice itself.Hope that makes sense, haha. Keep at it.
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Good job, Mary!
I could hear the smile, but it seemed to fad a bit with the last two sentences. Otherwise, it had a good pace, and pitch variations. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I’m glad you could hear the smile in that one. Not sure why it sounded faded out at the end, I may have moved around while recording. Thanks!
Mary
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Hello!
This is a practing recording for my coaching session, using my phone. Focusing on my:
-mico-pauses
-workable lead-ins
-point of view/audience clearAnd all other feed back welcome, thank you so much!
Trendi.com
Trendi.com. It’s the #1 shopping site for top name brands at up to 75% off. Great style, great value and everything ships free. Trendi.com. Everything you love, for less.-
monibr16 — nice job on the lead in! With that said, to add on to what Mary mentioned, your lead in was lacking enthusiasm. Sound more excited with “Oh, Trendi.com”, as that is what you are promoting, so it needs to stand out — you did a great job with this at the end (where your smile was evident).
Overall, good read! Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi Monibr16! I liked the lead in and the micropauses and pacing of the read. It did not sound very excited for the topic however. “…up to 75% off” and “…everything ships free” were very somber in tone, almost downplayed as if they were not important things to mention. I did hear the smile in your voice towards the end, which was great. Keep it up!
Mary
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He is a re-do of yesterday changing it some from feedback. Please let me know if is any better. The first file is yesterday and second is today. Thanks, I appreciate it.
He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you.
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Much better, Robert! Nice improvement!
To me, it sounded like there should of been more of a break between the first and second sentences. Were you further away from the mic in the second read, or was the volume lower?
Good job!
Kathy
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Hi Robert, very nice! I think the second read was definitely improved from the first – more variation in tone throughout, more relaxed and conversational, and also good emphasis on the “Now if he could only operate the microwave” with a chuckle, that was great, really helped it stand out. Great progress on this one!
Mary
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Wow- great work with the prior suggestions, one can hear the difference- it sounds great! There are a couple pauses that could use tightening with breathe control in recording or on the editing side. One example might be at the “…sight and sound unheard of,…” there’s a longer pause than maybe necessary between “sound” and “unheard of”. Again, great gains in your recordings from feedback!
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Hello and Happy New Year! This is my first effort for 2021. Please provide feedback on all aspects of this endeavor.
Script:
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective…
but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
Weelearn – learning through watching.Thanks!
Scott-
Hi Scott! Really good job. You have a nice warm tone and good pacing throughout. Nice authoritative tone and variation on key words, this is a good genre for you. Very good!
Mary
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Hi Scotty!
Very good! I love the tone of your voice! Good pacing and enunciation. Be mindful of sounding breathy between sentences. Otherwise, good job! Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hello! This is a read for practice, I’m just starting in VO training. Any and all input is appreciated. Thank you for listening as well as your constructive feedback!
Script:
What Monet found in Venice, according to Mirbeau, was a chance to renew himself by tackling the preconceived images of Venice. He no longer hoped to conquer the light, only to “glide” on the surface of the canvas, in the same way that light glides over things or in the same way that “the most intelligent dancer translates a feeling.” Monet’s Venise was celebrated, almost unanimously, as one of the great feats in the history of painting. Up to that point, Monet had never been so unreservedly lauded. The irony is that soon after World War I these much praised Venetian images fell into oblivion, no longer eliciting the sort of praise they had obtained when first exhibited.-
Hi John, really nice read! Welcome to the forum. I really like the warm soothing tone in your voice, it is really good for this genre. Pacing and enunciation were good.
I agree with Kathy on checking the pronunciation of Monet. There is also an artist Manet, and since they are both artists, someone in the art world would notice this. (Your pronunciation sounded more like Manet to me). Really good work, I look forward to hearing more!
Mary
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Thank you! I sheepishly admit that I watched a British lecture about Monet’s Venice and thought I was onto a fancy pronunciation. Lesson learned…
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Very nice, John! Welcome!
You have a great voice for biography/documentary; warm and welcoming. Your pacing, I thought, was good. Be mindful of pausing in your read where it’s not build into the script. The one thing that really stood out to me was the pronunciation of “Monet”. I have included a link for reference.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Monet
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hello all and Happy New Year! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
WGU
It’s here – the moment that will define you. So think of this moment as your moment – the one you’ve been waiting for. You were built for this and so were we. WGU – the online university where ambition never rests.-
Hi Mary: Nice work here. The pace is just right. The word, “moment” sounds a little indistinct on the end syllable. Also, I would hit “WGU” a little harder. Maybe a longer pause before and after, and more emphasis on the letters. Otherwise, a solid read.
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Great Job Mary! Good timing and very clear. But maybe connecting to the messege of the piece. It seems like an exciting moment. Maybe add a smile here and there and see how that feels? But over all nice and controlled!
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It feels “read”, like I don’t know who you are speaking to with this. Your diction is fine, and you have a nice tone to your voice, but I don’t hear you connecting with the words. I guess start with who you are and who you are speaking to…bring the acting into it more.
Good job, look forward to hearing more!
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Hi Brian, thanks for the feedback! I will work on connecting with the script a little more. I was picturing a colleague, an older student who is going back to finish their degree that I see potential in to be more and that I want to encourage, but it is hard for me to make it sound that way to others. Thank you!
Mary
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Hello!
I’m trying to figure out the pacing for medical narration, I appreciate any and all feedback!“Phytophotodermatitis is a nonimmunologic phototoxic cutaneous eruption resulting from contact with photosensitizing substances found in plants; furocoumarins (present in limes and other plants) are typically implicated and get activated following exposure to sunlight, especially 320-400 nanometer UVA rays.”
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More commercial practice…right now, the things I’m really working on:
– pacing: trying to not rush without slowing down so much that it bogs down the “natural” tone of the read
– connecting/being specific with who I’m talking to, where we are, why I’m talking
– not hitting the conjunctions hard…I tend, for some reason, to really hit the “and” and the “or” in lists harder than needs be, and I’m trying to do these lists in a way that give contrast but don’t emphasize the conjunctions so that the list flows.Here are the three scripts (tried going out of my comfort zone for one of them):
Wet/Dry Vac
It’s not that you’d ever find yourself removing puddles from a remote mountain trail…
But with a full size, cordless, wet-dry vac…you could.
Powerful,… durable…and the ability to run on two batteries for double the run time.Venus Spa Breeze
Every Goddess deserves a little more me time. So there’s new 2 in 1 Venus Spa Breeze. The only razor with lathering shave gel bars infused with a soft fresh scent of white tea. Now you can easily smooth your skin while indulging your sense. Just wet, shave, and relax. Venus Spa Breeze. Reveal the Goddess in you.Spotify
With Spotify, it’s easy to find the right music for every moment – on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. There are millions of tracks on Spotify. So whether you’re working out, partying or relaxing, the right music is always at your fingertips. Soundtrack your life with Spotify. Subscribe or listen for free.-
Hi Brian!
I have been trying to get my feedback to you posted, but I had some issues with the forum.
Overall: Nice reads. Good job on pitch and tone variations.
Script 1: In the opening line, you changed the read, from: It’s not that you’d… to It’s not like you’d…. I am not sure if I would go up in pitch at the ends of the sentences, considering they are not questions, but with that said, it is a different delivery that seems to stand out from the expected. At the same time, the pace/tone on this read sounded the best in your third sentence (at least to me).
Script 2: I liked the delivery. Good tone and pacing. Watch for micro-pausing not intended — noticed a slight break in your third sentence.
Script 3: I, too, liked this read the best. Maybe a little more variation in your first set of lists?: on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. (I did catch an added “on”; just be mindful of this — I think it’s common to do when trying to sound as natural as possible.)
I hope this is helpful! I believe we have the same vocal coach, and I am working on some of the same things you are practicing.
Keep it up! Good job!
Kathy
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Hi Brian:
These are all very well done. Nothing to add for #1. For #2 (Venus…) more emphasis on the word “me” in “me time.” Also, the words “wet” and “shave” are a little too close together. I would add a pause between all three actions, “wet,” “shave,” and “relax”. These are all top quality so these might be nits. Good job!!
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Hi Brian, good reads for all! I think the pacing was good for all, and I did not notice any conjunctions being hit hard at all. I was also trying to imagine who your audience was for all 3. I struggle with having a specific listener myself. Also, since you naturally speak quickly, have you tried a car commercial? Those seem to put a lot of information in a short time slot – as long as you can speak very clearly (like I am hearing here) I think it would be a good fit for you too.
Script 1: I liked the tone of this, like you were telling a friend about why they should use the product. Very authentic feel.
Script 2: I think this one was the one that outside your comfort zone (right?), but you did well varying your tone to be much softer to reflect the product. My guess is your were telling your wife / girlfriend about the product?
Script 3: I like this one the best for you of these 3 – it is spoken with a quick pace but is very clear and appropriate for Spotify. The last time Spotify is mentioned I think could be emphasized a little more, it gets really quiet on that word. This one feels targeted to a friend or nephew / younger relative, again, very authentic feel. I hope that helps – good job!
Mary
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Hi Mary…I do have a car commercial that we’re working on, but not the speed reading part about financing and all that (or like in every pharmaceutical ad where they list all of the side effects), we’re focusing more on the different tones and “characters” I can offer up.
I’ll say that I struggled a little with who I was supposed to be speaking with on #3 as well, so that’s probably why it came through that way. And yes, I need to work on hitting the branding without using a sledge hammer.
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