Happy New Year!! I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. Here is a little read about beavers! Any feedback is appreciated.
Beavers:
The b****r builds its lodge out of twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.
Hi everyone! Here is a recording for any and all feedback on one of my favorite topics, beer! Let me know what you think. Authentic? Conversational? Thanks!
Mary
Sam Adams – Cold Snap
We all know it’s the coldest time of the year, but we’re ready to fight back with the bold flavors of Cold Snap. This Sam Adams seasonal is only available from January through March, so you’d better start stocking up. This lively unfiltered White Ale gets a kick from a bright blend of spring spices. Orange and lemon zest, vanilla, rose hips, hibiscus, plum and grains of paradise add subtle sweetness, while coriander contributes a peppery bite, creating that refreshing crisp flavor that signals spring is on its way. Sam Adams Cold Snap – embrace the cold!
Hi Mary. I agree with the other feedback – good overall; still need to add some energy so that I believe you are super into this beer! Also re: the comments about more variation in the list. I felt the pause right before the list may have been a tad too long as well. Keep up the great work! Toque.
Maybe a little more emphasis on “Cold Snap” in the opening line, and “This Sam Adams seasonal…” in the next line? I could hear your pitch and tone change some with the list of seasonal spices, but it could vary a little more. The list read did flow well, to me, so good job there.
Good job, overall. Keep it up!
P.S. Since you like beer, try a read for Rolling Rock? The bottle phrasing might be an interesting read. 🙂
Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback! I will work on varying up the list of items a little more. There are soo many of them 🙂 I will look for a Rolling Rock and and see what I can find. Thanks! mk
Mary, good read overall. Still could have use a little more energy and tone changes for the list of spring spices: Orange and lemon zest etc. Also one word change suttle instead of subtle. Over all good read. I will admit that would be a hard sell to me. I am not real big on fruity beers. Every now and then I find a good craft beer but few and far between. I have learned my lesson and ask for a taste before I drop $8 plus on a pint of beer. Eventhough I worked my way through college at the Budweiser Distributor in Wichita Falls, I generally stick with Dos Equis (Green bottle) if available these days. If I want something sweet I will order something like a margarita, lol. Good job overall!!!!
Hi Robert, thanks for the feedback! I will work on more energy and tone changes.
Actually Cold Snap has more of a crisper than a fruity taste; even with the spices. I like fruity / sours too, but this one is different. Some day you will have to try a taste! Flights are the best, I agree I would not want to waste a full pour on something bad (like most IPAs for me). Dos Equis are drinkable, as are margaritas!! Cheers!
Uploading my homework for review. I did two different tones for each ad (as per instruction). It’s not perfect, but let me know what you think!
1>
Great design challenges more than just the eyes. It challenges the future. We designed the RDX to challenge not just the future of SUVs, but also the future of Acura. The future starts now. The future is the Acura RDX.
Acura. Everything we ever imagined. And then some.
2>
What you wear to bed is your business. So if you’re sleeping in your contact lenses, ask-your-eye-doctor about Air Optix Night & Day Aqua contact lenses. They’re FDA approved for-up-to 30 days and nights of continuous wear and are the most breathable soft contact lenses available. Because bedtime is your time.
Air Optix Night & Day Aqua contact lenses.
Hi Amitofu. The only thing I would add to the feedback already provided is that it felt like the second read for both was more natural to you and your voice. The second, lower reads felt less natural. Great work! Toque.
1st script: The first read was too slow and some extra long pauses. The firs use of future your tone varied but was the same for all of the other times it was used. The second read was quite a bit better once again the first future had a tone change but all others were same. But agree with Mary 2nd read was much easier to listen to and suited your voice much better.
2nd script: 1st read wording Used contacts instead of contact lenses. You said doctor in both reads instead of eye-doctor. The were a couple of wording mistakes. I also think the second read was better and was more conversational.
Hi Amitofu, good reads! I liked how you varied up both sets of reads with tone and pacing.
Script 1 take 1: This was interesting and had some good dramatic pauses, which went with the low tone.
Script 1 take 2: I preferred this one, the tone was a little smoother and it seemed to flow better. It was more encouraging to the listener.
Script 2 take 1: Good read. There were a couple of missed words (I realize this is practice, but it’s just something I noticed).
Script 2 take 2: I preferred this one, again the tone was a little more uplifting, the pacing smoother and there was more variation throughout. There were some different missed words in this read. Overall very good for all!
Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the holidays. I’ve been out of practice for a couple of weeks so I’m ready to jump back in things. I did a quick, one take practice recording for you guys. I might sound a little stuffy from allergies so I do apologize. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!
At Rubios, we thought our seafood needed a catchy saying. Something like, want to feel nice? Eat seafood twice. We quickly realized we’re better at flavorful, grilled seafood than we are at at catchy sayings.
Hello!
This is three versions of the same practice script for E-Learning, I’m looking for any tips for improvement, which script sounds the best, or pieces of them that I could incorporate into a new read.
Thank you very much
“Welcome to the Introduction to Axial Spondyloarthritis Course.
The bones of the human body are divided into two groups, the appendicular skeleton and the axial skeleton. We’re going to focus on the axial skeleton which includes the bones of the head, vertebral column, thorax, and trunk.”
Hi FCabral, very nice reads! You have really good clarity and enunciation and a nice warm voice which makes it nice and relaxing to listen to and learn from. I listened to all 3 twice each, and I could not tell a huge difference between them. I guess I will say the third version is my favorite, because it has just a little more variation in tone, especially for the opening line, which would help to draw in the listener. Really good job!
Hey Touzet-sounds like a great audio book read! I maybe caught something around 1:05 with “this” sounding a bit like “dis”. Tone was right for this read, I wanted to continue to listen past the end of the recording for the rest of the story.
John
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by JohnFinn.
Hi Touzet, really nice! You have a calm, reassuring and interesting voice that is perfectly suited to this genre! I too am struggling to find anything to critique – very good job!
If I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel for a single complaint (or in other words, just for posterity) I’d say
[0:39 secs] “Instead it payed a 1.2 billion dollar fine for[…]” – Billion came out with the tiny-est ‘buh’ sound instead of ‘bil’
But again, that’s me STRUGGLING to find something wrong. Outstanding Job!
I only did a couple times. I have gotten a different microphone for travel. The 1st recording is on an A875R condensor mic and the 2nd is on a Shure SM7B dynamic mic. The shure is big and bulking vs the A875R witch is a short shotgun mic to travel with.
The Hartford
Would you like to retire here? Or here? Investments. Insurance. 190 years of wisdom. The Hartford. Always thinking ahead.
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Robert Broussard. Reason: It only upload 1 recording and I cannot add the other
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Robert Broussard.
Hi Robert! Nice work. I love your southern comfort voice (also one of my favorite drinks). Here are my constructive bits:
You could try varying your pitch a little more to aid in sounding conversational. these two words: Investments. Insurance. are spoken with the same cadence/pitch with an uptick in your pitch. An uptick at the end of a phrase is indicative of a question, and these are bold statements of identity so these should be spoken with more straightforward confidence, and both should sound unique. There were a few words in the 1st read that landed on the same note. So if it was a song it was repeating a melody if that makes sense. The second read was more conversational because it felt more spontaneous, though the Investments. Insurance. were still spoken the same way.
This read is pretty much a big long list – each piece of the list on a different line:
Would you like to retire here?
Or here?
Investments.
Insurance.
190 years of wisdom.
The Hartford.
Always thinking ahead.
You can find ways to make each statement unique by varying your pitch/tone/intention behind each phrase and find natural places where you would change up how you are telling this story.
Nice reads! The pacing was good in each. As for audio quality, I listened a handful of times to each one, and I preferred the second one a little more, too. It had a rich, slightly deeper, tone. The first read sounded, initially, a tiny bit distant in sound. As you say, it may just be a matter of experimenting more.
Hi Robert, good reads! I’m not fully set up yet to hear a huge difference between the two recordings from a sound quality level, but they both sounded good. I think I prefer the 2nd one slightly.
Also I think that “Investments. Insurance” had a very similar tone, maybe change the tone of one of them for a little variety? It almost acts like a list of options with “retire here” and “or here” being the first 2 items in the list, I hope that makes sense. Very good!
Okay folks, based on feedback, here is a redo of a script I had done just before the new year. Let me know if it’s improved (from the flat tone). I have attached both files. The first is the original, and the second is the one I re-recorded tonight.
Thanks again!
Kathy
Poland Spring (Brand)
A lot has changed since we got our start back in 1845, but we’re still sourced from our carefully selected springs.
Celebrating 175 years. Poland Spring Brand Natural Spring Water. From the Heart of Maine.
Hi Kathy, good reads! I think the second one is definitely improved from the first – there is more variation in the tone throughout, notably at “a lot HAS changed…” and ” …from our CAREFULLY selected springs”. There is also a little more smile in your voice in the second read.
Also I think you could say “a hundred seventy five years” instead of what sounded like “a hundred n’ seventy five years”, just a thought on that. Good job!
Hi everyone! I’m here with a recording for any and all feedback. Working to sound like I have a specific listener in mind, and to clearly convey the message to the listener. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
Psoriasis
If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare, but lately have been putting off seeing your dermatologist, it’s time to get the care you need, because psoriasis isn’t just a skin condition. Those itchy flaky red patches you see on the outside could be a sign of inflammation on the inside. Talk to your dermatologist about the impact of untreated psoriasis and how they can see you safely to help get your symptoms under control. Schedule an appointment with your dermatologist today at psoriasis.com
Hi Mary — The pacing was good, and I felt you emphasized words or changed your tone where needed. I do agree with Robert that it needs a more relaxed, and conversational delivery. Additionally, I know you are still recording on your phone, and I don’t usually hear this from you, but be mindful of sounding breathy between sentences (the very last one).
Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I will work on a more conversational tone, I was going for concerned, but it should also be conversational like you say. Not sure what happened on the breathiness, I will work on that too. Thanks!
I selected this practice script to challenge several areas, especially words ending in “s” and words that begin with hard consonants. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!
Lincoln: The Untold Stories
On the night of April 14, 1865, an actor named John Wilkes Booth quietly worked his way through the halls of Ford’s Theater in Washington D.C. President Abraham Lincoln was enjoying one of the first moments of restful entertainment he had experienced since the Civil War began. Then, shortly after 10 P.M. Wilkes slipped into the unguarded presidential box.
Firing one shot at close range, Wilkes killed the President. A nation went into mourning over the loss of the remarkable man who had reunited a divided country. In the days following Lincoln’s death, his former law partner, William Herndon grieved as he watched thousands of Americans pay their final respects to their fallen leader.
For seventeen years, Herndon sat across from Lincoln in a series of law offices in Springfield, Illinois — one of which still exists across the street from the old state capitol. But as Herndon perceived the public’s desire to mythologize his former partner, he felt a need to search for the facts and truths of Lincoln’s life…not fictions…not fables.
Hi John, very good! I liked the warmth and clarity in your voice for this read. It was well paced and enunciated and flowed well with nice variation in tone throughout. The words ending in “s” sounded nice and crisp next to the following words starting with hard consonants.
After “William Herndon” even though there is no comma, I would think there should be a micropause and then a slight emphasis on “grieved” to help with the meaning of the sentence. This is a good genre for you! I liked it.