Good evening all! Here is a recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins to help create a more conversational approach. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
How To Read Music
Reading music is often seen as some sort of mysterious ancient puzzle or complicated foreign language, but it doesn’t have to be that way! The easy-to-follow lessons and companion CD in “How to Read Music” will show you how to decode those little black dots, and in a short time, you’ll be surprised how fluent you’ve become!
Hi mkell755…and first of all, thanks for your feedback on my Milne poem!
With the goals you’ve set out, I think you’re on a great path. The lead-in was perfect, and I think set your pace nicely. You have (to my ear) found a great, casual, conversational tone. The raise in pitch (whatever the term is for making something sound like a question) periodically reminded me of the youthful, millennial style that’s popular now. Just make sure you’re creating that effect intentionally. One example I can point out is “complicated foreign language,” which sounded like a question before the comma. Also, make sure you’re not skipping too quickly over words that deserve a little more time. “Little” in “little black dots” got pretty well swallowed up by the words around it. But really effective read, I thought!
Thanks for the feedback Beckolin! You are welcome for the feedback on your poem, it was really well done!
Good to hear that it sounded casual and conversational. I feel like this would be the approach I would take to get a friend more interested in trying to read music, by intentionally varying my tone to keep it casual and not formal. I have been told that I have a tendency to “up-talk” which is raising the tone like a question at the end of a sentence, so I need to continue to work on that. I see how I sped up “little black dots” to be too fast; should have slowed down a bit there to match the rest of the pace, good catch. Very helpful, thanks for the comments!
Hello guys,
Here’s a some commercial practice, all feedback welcome. Thank you!
Berry Burst
Thank you for calling General Mills. While we connect you with someone who can help, let’s talk about Cheerios and fruit!… Yeah you heard that right! Fruit, real fruit! It’s Berry Burst Cheerios. Wish you had same while on hold?
Hi Monibr16! Good job on this one. Your voice sounded nice and light with good energy and appropriate for an on-hold voice. The word “while” was missed, not a big deal for practice but just something to watch for in future reads. Keep it up!
Hello Forum Friends,
I’m working on some public domain stuff…mostly for my own edification and practice. I’d love to get your input on interpretation and recording quality. I feel like my mouth has been really wet lately, which makes for more editing than I like. This would be especially challenging if I start doing longer format material! Meanwhile, here’s a poem by A. A. Milne…”Disobedience.”
Thank you!
That was a complete and utter delight! Whimsical with an effortless command of such a complicated text! Very immersive with the various character voices and all conveyed with such a light, inviting touch. More please! 😀
This is a delightful read! I really enjoyed your variety and confidence in doing such interesting voices. Some parts felt a little fast for me with the complicated tongue twistery parts. I can’t say too much about audiobook type reads because I don’t have training in that, but overall I really liked it.
Hi Beckolin – wow, very nice pleasant read! Excellent pacing and I agree great variety in the character voices! Nice rhyming patterns throughout – I found myself looking forward to the next “James James Morrison Morrison…” Very well done! You have a really nice and warm story-telling voice. Very good!
This was such a great story time read. SO much variety with the character voices. I would just say take more time with the rhymes. But I was entertained the whole time!
Just a quick stab at a character read (my apologies to the class at Ridgemont High):
Thanks for taking the time to listen!
“Dude! Go back to high school without REALLY going back to high school? Gnarly! It’s the ‘Back To School Movie Marathon’ Sunday, August 29th only on AMC.”
Hi Rogue1, this read was a lot of fun. Listening to this clip put a big smile on my face, and made me break out my checkered black and white slip on Vans. The energy was really good. The only critique I have is “REALLY” and “AMC” should have been hit more. But overall this was fun, good job.
Thank you, Erik B! Great feedback–and great taste in footwear (my Vans were black and red checkers). Will work on getting more emphasis on “really” and the all-important client’s name!
This was just flat-out fun! Thank you 🙂
Only tweak I would consider is looking at how you break up the last sentence…it sounded like 4 separate sentences: “Back to school movie marathon. Sunday. August 29th. Only on AMC.” If you can smooth that out without losing your surfer dude persona, it would be flawless.
Hey Rogue1 – that was great! I loved it and it was spot on for Spicoli. I too think you could emphasize / stretch out “REALLY” a little bit more. The laugh at the end was great. Good job!
I was hoping for a Bill and Ted styled read and you did not disappoint! Since there seems to be a big emphasis on “REALLY” in the script, I think you could hang on that word a little bit longer. Great job!
Thanks, Svenbot5000! Glad the read met your expectations—will (totally) be sure to lean into emphasizing “really”, I hear the distinction now that everyone kindly pointed it out.
Hi Thomas! Good reads! The pacing and flow of both scripts was good. Your voice is nice and authoritative.
Cafe Vienna seemed a little somber to me – the script seems like it has more of a daydream vibe vs. a serious vibe. I would think the tone should be a little softer / reflective maybe?
For Lender’s bagels I liked it better, but I think you could go even bigger, with more enthusiasm and variation in pitch throughout the script, it sounded a little monotone to me (I have to push myself in this area as well). Keep it up!
Hi again all. Another practice script. This one just taken from the Edge Script Library. As always, appreciate any feedback on any and all aspects of the read/recording. Thanks! Toque
Progressive Insurance
Every year James Ward buys his mom the same birthday cake. But this
year, James switched to Progressive auto insurance. And if they can
shake things up by letting you compare competitors rates and over 20
other facts and figures-then maybe he too should swing for the fences.
Nice work James. Think easier. Think Progressive.
Fully agree with Mary’s feedback. I decided to listen, without following the script. Your calm, engaging delivery held my attention, and I wanted to hear what you had to say.
A very nice way to start the day!
Hi Toque, nice work! I liked this one a lot. Great enthusiasm, enunciation and tone variation throughout. Good smile in your voice and emphasis on Progressive. Good job!
Hi there, folks. My first ever recording post. Let me know what you think. Have a great 2021!
Benjamin Moore – “Love”
This may sound trite, or cliche.
And maybe if we were talking about chocolate and flowers, it would be.
But we’re talking about paint, so hear us out.
Love is an amazing thing. It has the power to change everything.
A love of craft can turn work and labor into an act of creative expression.
Love can make you see past obvious flaws in a facade, to the beauty underneath.
Love can turn a pair of hands into a set of tools.
Love can turn pigment and polymers into magical liquid.
Love can turn a house into a home.
And turn a bunch of homes into a community.
Love can transform. And when you want your love to transform a home…
There is no other paint than Benjamin Moore.
Hi MrGenadry! I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your recording and then absorbing Mary’s and Toque’s observations. A particularly useful exercise for me, being new to the game, so to speak. I felt that you had really spent time interpreting the script, and that you knew exactly how you wished to connect with your intended audience. You should be pretty pleased!
Hi MrGenadry! Welcome to the forum! This is a good genre for you. You have a nice warm voice and good enunciation. I liked the pauses throughout too, helps the listener consider what is being said. I agree with Toque in that the word “love” because it repeated so many times might be good to vary up in tone now and then. Overall really good. keep up the good work!
Hi there! You have a good voice for this kind of read! Audio quality sounded fine to me. Just a few other comments: 1) If the script says “talking, and not “talkin'”, you may want to consider fully pronouncing it. Of course it’s hard to say without any direction added to the script.2) Because the word “Love” is repeated a number of times, you may want to consider some slight variation in how each is delivered. I believe you made a change for the last one, but the others sounded very similar. 3) In the second-last line, the pause between the words “transform” and “And” feels overly long. Great work! Hope this helps. Toque
Happy & Safe New Year to all !! It’s been a little while but now I’m back in the saddle. My current focus is on whiskey Commercials. I’m starting with two I found for Jack Daniel’s. Still working on creating the recording space but any and all feedback appreciated.
JD #1
In Lynchburg, Tennessee, you can park in the middle of the road to talk with a neighbor about taxes or the weather. You can pick enough wild blackberries to fill a tin bucket. And you can see a distillery where Jack Daniel made whiskey way back in 1866. We still make it in a slow, deliberate fashion, much as he did. One sip, and you’ll be glad to know we don’t ever plan to stop. Jack Daniel’s … smooth sippin’ Tennessee whiskey.
JD#2
Giving the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say, your boss, a friend or a brother.
Second, get some wrapping paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racket. They’re gonna know what it is, but that’s part of the charm.
And last, and most important, step three. Be there when they open it.
Hi Chas – really nice! I like the deep rasp and range in your voice, it is perfect for a whiskey commercial. Nice variation in tone throughout for both scripts and really nice pacing and enunciation too. Good smile in your voice. Good job!
Hi Chas. Script #1 was great. The only thing I noted was (and this may just be my ears) but in the first 2 seconds of the recording it kinda sounded like it started at one volume and then jumped up to something a tad louder? Script # 2 sounded great. Whisky ads area great choice for your voice. Toque
Thanks Toque. You have a fine ear. I clipped the first 2 seconds and pasted in a re-do. Thought I had a good match but apparently not that good. Appreciate your feedback. – Chas
Good to be back everyone and happy New Year! I’ve got a new microphone and was wondering how my performance and recording quality are. I’m really trying to eliminate the unwanted humming and hissing from my previous performances.
Hi Luke! I too am having a hard time hearing almost anything, except a few words that are louder than the others now and then, with volume on max. Can you try re-recording and reloading?
Yes, I can resubmit this recording. Sorry if you can’t hear anything, neither could I. It’s the microphones positioning and whether I was super close vs. farther away. I’ll fix that and resubmit.
Thanks for the comments, I appreciate it.
Hey guys! Sorry the volume was so low in my previous practice demo. Here is a fresh version of it that I recorded with the AT2020 at another angle. All feedback is appreciated.
Practice Script from the Edge Library. I’d love any feedback, THANKS!
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.
Hi Burdagirl, very good! The variation in tone and the pacing were great. It sounded very natural and authentic for this script. I liked the emphasis on Private Payments as it appears to me like it’s the highlighted product / point of the commercial. Very good job!
Hi Burdahgirl. The pacing of your read was very good. I noticed the overemphasis on “private payments”. To help “get out of your head” step away from the mic, before reading a sentence with a troublesome word or words, raise your arms to your side and take two deep breathes, then go back to the mic and deliver the line. Overall good job.
Really good read! One thing that’s helped me with commercial copy is to imagine the script as the middle of the conversation, not the beginning. Either you’re telling someone something they don’t know, or they’ve just told you something with which you disagree. This can elevate your excitement and increase the energy of the read.
In this case, I would imagine that you’re making small talk with a new client about a recent experience with identity theft. They’ve heard of Private Payments, but they thought it sounded like BS. So the question “Do you know me?” can be a little more authoritative; you both already know the answer is no. Then, accent the contrast: “In my BUSINESS, recognition is always important.” Changing that opening motivation might help you keep the urgency up throughout the read.
Good performance and recording quality. It can get better though. When you say “private payments”, I hear you stepping out of character, forcing the “P” sound. hope this was a helpful critique
Thanks, that is helpful. I struggle so hard with my plosive ‘p’s and was attempting to not have them pop so much. But I totally agree they sound weird. Thanks for the critique!