Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,053 replies, 728 voices, and was last updated 5 days, 8 hours ago by
JaimeMartinezVO.
-
CreatorTopic
-
August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
-
CreatorTopic
-
AuthorReplies
-
January 12, 2021 at 11:01 pm #61261
mkell755
ParticipantHi everyone! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think! Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Mary
Cabi clothing
Can clothes really change your life? We believe they can.
How many mornings do you find yourself taking way too long to answer this simple question: “What do I wear today?” Cue the hanger flinging, the self-doubt, the belief that none of this even looks good on me. We’ve been there, and it’s time for a change. Because when we feel great, we step into the world more fully our unique selves. And that’s life-changing.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 14, 2021 at 12:28 pm #61345
Robert Broussard
ParticipantMary good effort. It does sound more like your reading. Try to make more conversational talking to a friend.
-
January 13, 2021 at 11:33 am #61272
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantHi Mary…couple of notes from the first listen:
– it feels “read” as opposed to feeling natural. How are you connecting this to the listener? Who do you envision that you are speaking to? This will help with getting out of the “read” zone and into the conversational zone that most clients are looking for right now
– the “b” in “believe” is really lost…not sure if that’s just from the recording, or the enunciation
– The penultimate sentence is really rushed, especially in comparison with the rest of the read (I do this sometimes as well)
– There’s a glottal stop after “that’s” in the tag…try to keep the phrase moving without that pause there-
January 14, 2021 at 10:11 pm #61377
mkell755
ParticipantThanks for the feedback Brian! Really good points and you have touched on many things I’m working on specifically – sounding more conversational, moving through the script and I did not hear the glottal stop after “that’s”. Very helpful. Thanks again!
Mary
-
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 8:38 pm #61253
SarahCoblewrites@gmail.com
ParticipantFirst crack at a public service announcement. Was the tone right?
Script –
For the 27 million Americans who can’t read, competing in today’s marketplace is nearly impossible. You can help fight illiteracy by reading to a child. And by giving a child a book. Brought to you by The Coors Foundation for Family Literacy.-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
SarahCoblewrites@gmail.com.
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
SarahCoblewrites@gmail.com.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 13, 2021 at 3:34 pm #61282
rogue1
ParticipantHello, Sarah! Beautiful read—-very crisp, clear, and inviting to the ear. Also, a unique choice on your tone as one might expect a rather dire expression, but your read is very hopeful without losing any of the gravitas of the message. My one (minor) note would be to perhaps pause a bit longer before you hit the “Brought to you by…” section as I feel it’s more of a coda and not part of the main message. Well done!
-
January 14, 2021 at 1:13 pm #61349
SarahCoblewrites@gmail.com
ParticipantThanks for the feedback guys. I’ll definitely try a longer pause between the message and the sponsor on the next go around.
-
January 13, 2021 at 5:04 pm #61299
SuperLuke
ParticipantI enjoyed this commercial read, nice tone, voice, and the accent gets the listener’s attention too.
-
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:36 pm #61238
jmtarleton
ParticipantHello good people! I am posting a few more narration takes with different tones. As always, I appreciate any feedback you all have.
All the best,
John
Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.Training Video
At the back of the machine, a basket is catching the finished product as its ejected. That final product will pass through visual, leak and resistance quality control inspections. The final product is loaded onto pallets and delivered to the Assembly Department for attachment to the battery can.Nero – Intro
He was a perverse cross-dressing exhibitionist who had an incestuous relationship with his mother and married his step sister. He murdered members of his own family in fits of jealous rage. His cruelty, violence, and grotesque appetite for self-indulgence brought the Roman empire to the brink of financial and political ruin. And he viscously persecuted the christians. They would remember him as the ultimate embodiment of evil … the anti-christ.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 13, 2021 at 11:36 am #61273
BrianWigginsVO
Participant1) I could definitely here the smile in the first one, which is good. Maybe connect with the material a little more to ground it some?
2) Same note as above, not sure I heard much of a difference between the first two in terms of tone, and I’m not sure I got who you were speaking to. Adding that will really take these to the next level. -
January 12, 2021 at 7:21 pm #61244
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHi John! Really nice reads!! I listened to the training one and the nero one.
Training video feedback – you have a really nice smooth delivery with no awkward pauses, and your treatment of vowels coming off of consonants is really great – no glottal stops! I learned from this read. I’m trying to be extremely conscious of glottal stops.
The Nero one – It sounded like it would work well in a documentary form. Listening to it without visuals I felt the pace was a little slow and carefully paced, but that is probably because I’m listening to it and on screen there would obviously be visuals and your pace allows time for information to sink in so take that for whatever it is worth. There was the word ‘appetite’ that lost the T on the end.Really great work John!
-
January 13, 2021 at 5:11 pm #61300
SuperLuke
ParticipantIf you were aiming for the documentary field, regarding Nero, you might be able to pull it off. Although, you might want to add more emphasis on certain words to show how crazy he was ; “being a perverse, cross-dresser, marrying his step-sister, being the Anti-Christ, burning Rome to the ground”.
-
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:09 pm #61236
burdahgirl
ParticipantTrying to get myself out of the box but now of course just feel like I’m screaming at the microphone. Help! This is alarmingly close to how I converse with my friends, but probably not what my coach wants when she says to be conversational. Any and all critique is welcome. THANKS!
At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 13, 2021 at 3:40 pm #61284
rogue1
ParticipantHello, burdahgirl. You had me at “Salsa Frrrrrresca”. No sense of screaming whatsoever, just a light, buoyant read that is as enticing as the fare you’re describing. Definitely flows naturally without any tell-tale “I’m reading off a script” woodenness. Great work!
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:44 pm #61242
svenbot5000
ParticipantHowdy! You’re off to a great start with the first sentence, it’s very inviting and the inflection is good. It goes a little flat when you get to “Tex Mex”, I would jazz it up so it matches with the fun you added to “Salsa Fresca”. I understand where you’re coming from trying to sound conversational while selling something. Great job!
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 4:33 pm #61225
Jordan7
ParticipantHey guys I do voice impressions I’ve been working on Peter griffin so I’m gonna show a vid of me doing him let me know what I need to work on and if it’s good at all thanks!
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 14, 2021 at 2:56 pm #61356
rogue1
ParticipantHi Jordan. Sounds like Quahog’s favorite citizen to me (though your video didn’t load for me–only the audio). My only note is that you might be a bit crisper on a few of the lines. “Oh, they let me off…” and “…search for the newspapers in the backyard…” seem a little muddy to my ear. Otherwise, keep up the great work!
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
rogue1.
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 4:26 pm #61220
Toque
ParticipantAnother practice sample from the Edge library. This time I’m taking a stab at doing 3 different kinds of read for the same script. In #1 I was shooting for kind of an authoritative-but-friendly neighbour vibe. In # 2 I tried to make it a little mischievous, almost like I’ve been taunting the kids. In #3, I tried it with an “exasperated” spin. How’d I do? Honest feedback and suggestions welcome on all aspects of the recordings. Thanks all! Toque
Script:
Kids hate the word “no”. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no NO! Well isn’t it time for a “yes”? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
Toque.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 14, 2021 at 11:21 am #61330
John Trape
ParticipantHi Toque,
Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reads and then going back over each one to appreciate how you applied the desired tone. I felt that each read just seemed so natural, so conversational.
Thank you,
John.
-
January 13, 2021 at 5:44 pm #61303
-
January 12, 2021 at 7:27 pm #61245
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHey Toque! Great work on this. here are my thoughts:
take 1: There was a glottal stop here: “Kids hate (full closure of the throat = glottal stop) the word,” so if you smooth that out by not closing the back of the throat and reading it as one fluid statement – that’s money.
take 2: I think that the word “no” should be the main word you emphasize here as it is the main point of the read.
Take 3: I like this one the best. I think you had some great energy you kind of reminded me of Jim Gaffigan here – you could use him as a soundalike in your marketing.Overall great energy and a great read for you. You sound like a dad of young kids who are driving him up the wall which is great for you (and thus also reminds me of Jim Gaffigan)
Really delightful reads and great to hear the variety! You are inspiring me to post more than 1 version as I struggle with coming up with multiple was to say something 🙂
Katelyn
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
katelyndawnvo.
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:04 pm #61233
burdahgirl
ParticipantDang, each one was so good! I liked the first the best, but I could believe any of them to be the final cut depending on what images went with it and what the audience was. Amazing!
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
-
January 12, 2021 at 3:54 pm #61218
rogue1
ParticipantHello, everyone! Another home record (just me and my Snowball) taking a crack at another read. All comments welcome–thank you for taking the time to listen!
BOOKING.COM
We all dream about our next vacation. Living in the warm glow of what could be, we plan, and scroll, and binge, and while some of us stop there, others turn those dreams into action. The “bookers”, the “do-ers”, the “hit that confirmation button and let’s go-ers”. Bookers are the ones out there living it, feeling it, breathing it. These are the people that say “Today’s the day, Poughkeepsie!” Because Bookers know that the perfect place to stay is right there for the booking. Be a “booker” at booking.com
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 12, 2021 at 11:21 pm #61266
mkell755
ParticipantHi Rogue1, very nice! Your voice sounds really warm, natural and friendly for this ad. I liked the variation in tone and emphasis / attitude once you got to the items in quotes. Great work!
Mary
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:06 pm #61234
burdahgirl
ParticipantIt’s a great read – I love the s***k in the “bookers” attitude, it really jumps out at me in a great way. I agree with Toque that some more variation would help liven up the first half. Good job!
-
January 12, 2021 at 6:07 pm #61235
burdahgirl
Participantlol, it sensored a word – I promise it isn’t a bad word!
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 4:33 pm #61227
Toque
ParticipantHey Rogue. Audio quality sounds good. I might suggest adding some variation in intonation to the “lists” in the read (ex. “we plan, and scroll, and binge…) Otherwise it sounded very good! Toque
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 8:22 am #61194
Bil-Bo
ParticipantBreyer’s Vienetta
Breyer’s has created a spectacular ice cream dessert called Vienetta. But, despite its delicious premium ice cream, and its irresistible crisp, chocolatey layers — Vienetta will leave you with one small problem … VIENETTA FROM BREYER’S … one slice is never enough.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 12, 2021 at 11:17 pm #61265
mkell755
ParticipantHi Bil-Bo – very good! I agree in that it sounds like something already out there on TV or radio. Very crisp, well-paced and your voice is really good for this genre. Good job!
Mary
-
January 12, 2021 at 4:36 pm #61228
Toque
ParticipantAwesome read Bil-Bo! If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was an actual ad already running on tv and radio. Well done! Toque
-
January 12, 2021 at 3:26 pm #61215
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 3:42 am #61191
kfvoice
ParticipantHi all!
I am figuring out my mic volume, placement, and a good standing distance from the mic. I am aware of mouth noise (I am using a pop filter).
Here’s a short in-show/promo/commercial spot to test things out.
As always, all feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Kathy
CBS Evening News / Puffs Plus
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 12, 2021 at 11:15 pm #61264
mkell755
ParticipantHi Kathy, sounds good!
Mary
-
January 12, 2021 at 4:39 pm #61229
Toque
ParticipantGood read Kathy! I also found the volume a bit lower comparatively. Toque
-
January 12, 2021 at 3:31 pm #61217
rogue1
ParticipantHi Kathy. Lovely read, very-well suited as a CBS interstitial. Technically, I did have to up my volume a bit to hear your record, plus I’m hearing what might be a bit of lip-smack on “CBS Evening News” (I keep green apples handy to munch on as I wrestle with the same issue). Nicely done!
-
-
January 12, 2021 at 12:42 am #61186
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHi everyone. Here is a read for a travelogue video. I’m really trying to sound spontaneous and vary my lists – trying to sound natural. If I don’t achieve this please let me know what I can do to sound more spontaneous. Thank you in advance!
Katelyn
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more importantly, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place for cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snowboarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 12, 2021 at 11:12 pm #61263
mkell755
ParticipantHi Katelyn, this sounded really good! Very conversational, friendly and natural. The lists sounded good. I’m not sure how to make it sound more spontaneous (I wish I knew actually!), other than maybe varying the pace here and there. Like if you were telling a friend about going to Alaska, you might get more excited about 2 or 3 things and feel compelled to get to those thoughts more quickly or say those words maybe not quite so formally. I think there was a little bit of that in how you varied the tone and pace in “…for planning a trip to Alaska.” Good job on this one!
Mary
-
January 12, 2021 at 11:47 am #61199
rogue1
ParticipantHi, Katelyn. Lovely, inviting quality to your delivery. I think you definitely achieve a natural spontaneity once you hit the second line in the script, though I feel your beginning sounds more like you’re reading rather than, say, talking with a friend. Maybe try the old trick of speaking a few intro lines in your head to more naturally dive into the script. e.g. in your head: “Wow, Myrtle, I didn’t know you were into ice bergs”, out loud: “This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video…” (I’m working on this myself, so I can certainly relate!) Maybe also hit “love” a little more on “you’re going to love this video…” Really great work!
-
January 12, 2021 at 5:24 pm #61231
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantThank you! I was using a lead-in but perhaps I needed to connect more to it emotionally at the start, or need a different lead-in
-
-
-
AuthorReplies
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.