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  • #61261
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think! Thanks for taking the time to listen.

    Mary

    Cabi clothing
    Can clothes really change your life? We believe they can.
    How many mornings do you find yourself taking way too long to answer this simple question: “What do I wear today?” Cue the hanger flinging, the self-doubt, the belief that none of this even looks good on me. We’ve been there, and it’s time for a change. Because when we feel great, we step into the world more fully our unique selves. And that’s life-changing.

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    • #61345
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Mary good effort. It does sound more like your reading. Try to make more conversational talking to a friend.

      • #61376
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks Robert! I will definitely work on that! 🙂

        Mary

    • #61272
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Hi Mary…couple of notes from the first listen:
      – it feels “read” as opposed to feeling natural. How are you connecting this to the listener? Who do you envision that you are speaking to? This will help with getting out of the “read” zone and into the conversational zone that most clients are looking for right now
      – the “b” in “believe” is really lost…not sure if that’s just from the recording, or the enunciation
      – The penultimate sentence is really rushed, especially in comparison with the rest of the read (I do this sometimes as well)
      – There’s a glottal stop after “that’s” in the tag…try to keep the phrase moving without that pause there

      • #61377
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Brian! Really good points and you have touched on many things I’m working on specifically – sounding more conversational, moving through the script and I did not hear the glottal stop after “that’s”. Very helpful. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #61253

    First crack at a public service announcement. Was the tone right?

    Script –
    For the 27 million Americans who can’t read, competing in today’s marketplace is nearly impossible. You can help fight illiteracy by reading to a child. And by giving a child a book. Brought to you by The Coors Foundation for Family Literacy.

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    • #61282
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hello, Sarah! Beautiful read—-very crisp, clear, and inviting to the ear. Also, a unique choice on your tone as one might expect a rather dire expression, but your read is very hopeful without losing any of the gravitas of the message. My one (minor) note would be to perhaps pause a bit longer before you hit the “Brought to you by…” section as I feel it’s more of a coda and not part of the main message. Well done!

      • #61349

        Thanks for the feedback guys. I’ll definitely try a longer pause between the message and the sponsor on the next go around.

      • #61299
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I enjoyed this commercial read, nice tone, voice, and the accent gets the listener’s attention too.

  • #61238
    jmtarleton
    Participant

    Hello good people! I am posting a few more narration takes with different tones. As always, I appreciate any feedback you all have.

    All the best,

    John

    Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
    This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.

    Training Video
    At the back of the machine, a basket is catching the finished product as its ejected. That final product will pass through visual, leak and resistance quality control inspections. The final product is loaded onto pallets and delivered to the Assembly Department for attachment to the battery can.

    Nero – Intro
    He was a perverse cross-dressing exhibitionist who had an incestuous relationship with his mother and married his step sister. He murdered members of his own family in fits of jealous rage. His cruelty, violence, and grotesque appetite for self-indulgence brought the Roman empire to the brink of financial and political ruin. And he viscously persecuted the christians. They would remember him as the ultimate embodiment of evil … the anti-christ.

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    • #61273
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      1) I could definitely here the smile in the first one, which is good. Maybe connect with the material a little more to ground it some?
      2) Same note as above, not sure I heard much of a difference between the first two in terms of tone, and I’m not sure I got who you were speaking to. Adding that will really take these to the next level.

    • #61244
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi John! Really nice reads!! I listened to the training one and the nero one.
      Training video feedback – you have a really nice smooth delivery with no awkward pauses, and your treatment of vowels coming off of consonants is really great – no glottal stops! I learned from this read. I’m trying to be extremely conscious of glottal stops.
      The Nero one – It sounded like it would work well in a documentary form. Listening to it without visuals I felt the pace was a little slow and carefully paced, but that is probably because I’m listening to it and on screen there would obviously be visuals and your pace allows time for information to sink in so take that for whatever it is worth. There was the word ‘appetite’ that lost the T on the end.

      Really great work John!

      • #61300
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        If you were aiming for the documentary field, regarding Nero, you might be able to pull it off. Although, you might want to add more emphasis on certain words to show how crazy he was ; “being a perverse, cross-dresser, marrying his step-sister, being the Anti-Christ, burning Rome to the ground”.

  • #61236
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Trying to get myself out of the box but now of course just feel like I’m screaming at the microphone. Help! This is alarmingly close to how I converse with my friends, but probably not what my coach wants when she says to be conversational. Any and all critique is welcome. THANKS!

    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

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    • #61284
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hello, burdahgirl. You had me at “Salsa Frrrrrresca”. No sense of screaming whatsoever, just a light, buoyant read that is as enticing as the fare you’re describing. Definitely flows naturally without any tell-tale “I’m reading off a script” woodenness. Great work!

      • #61301
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I enjoy the performance. It sounds like a conversational commercial. Great accent when you mention the salsa

    • #61242
      svenbot5000
      Participant

      Howdy! You’re off to a great start with the first sentence, it’s very inviting and the inflection is good. It goes a little flat when you get to “Tex Mex”, I would jazz it up so it matches with the fun you added to “Salsa Fresca”. I understand where you’re coming from trying to sound conversational while selling something. Great job!

  • #61225
    Jordan7
    Participant

    Hey guys I do voice impressions I’ve been working on Peter griffin so I’m gonna show a vid of me doing him let me know what I need to work on and if it’s good at all thanks!

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    • #61356
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Jordan. Sounds like Quahog’s favorite citizen to me (though your video didn’t load for me–only the audio). My only note is that you might be a bit crisper on a few of the lines. “Oh, they let me off…” and “…search for the newspapers in the backyard…” seem a little muddy to my ear. Otherwise, keep up the great work!

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by rogue1.
  • #61220
    Toque
    Participant

    Another practice sample from the Edge library. This time I’m taking a stab at doing 3 different kinds of read for the same script. In #1 I was shooting for kind of an authoritative-but-friendly neighbour vibe. In # 2 I tried to make it a little mischievous, almost like I’ve been taunting the kids. In #3, I tried it with an “exasperated” spin. How’d I do? Honest feedback and suggestions welcome on all aspects of the recordings. Thanks all! Toque

    Script:

    Kids hate the word “no”. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no NO! Well isn’t it time for a “yes”? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Toque.
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    • #61330
      John Trape
      Participant

      Hi Toque,

      Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reads and then going back over each one to appreciate how you applied the desired tone. I felt that each read just seemed so natural, so conversational.

      Thank you,

      John.

    • #61303
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hello Toque! Wow, great variety on your reads—-you’re a producer’s dream! I think the exasperation of take 3 is the most unexpected/memorable (though they are all excellent reads). Well done!

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by rogue1.
    • #61245
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hey Toque! Great work on this. here are my thoughts:
      take 1: There was a glottal stop here: “Kids hate (full closure of the throat = glottal stop) the word,” so if you smooth that out by not closing the back of the throat and reading it as one fluid statement – that’s money.
      take 2: I think that the word “no” should be the main word you emphasize here as it is the main point of the read.
      Take 3: I like this one the best. I think you had some great energy you kind of reminded me of Jim Gaffigan here – you could use him as a soundalike in your marketing.

      Overall great energy and a great read for you. You sound like a dad of young kids who are driving him up the wall which is great for you (and thus also reminds me of Jim Gaffigan)

      Really delightful reads and great to hear the variety! You are inspiring me to post more than 1 version as I struggle with coming up with multiple was to say something 🙂

      Katelyn

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by katelyndawnvo.
    • #61233
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Dang, each one was so good! I liked the first the best, but I could believe any of them to be the final cut depending on what images went with it and what the audience was. Amazing!

  • #61218
    rogue1
    Participant

    Hello, everyone! Another home record (just me and my Snowball) taking a crack at another read. All comments welcome–thank you for taking the time to listen!

    BOOKING.COM

    We all dream about our next vacation. Living in the warm glow of what could be, we plan, and scroll, and binge, and while some of us stop there, others turn those dreams into action. The “bookers”, the “do-ers”, the “hit that confirmation button and let’s go-ers”. Bookers are the ones out there living it, feeling it, breathing it. These are the people that say “Today’s the day, Poughkeepsie!” Because Bookers know that the perfect place to stay is right there for the booking. Be a “booker” at booking.com

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    • #61266
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Rogue1, very nice! Your voice sounds really warm, natural and friendly for this ad. I liked the variation in tone and emphasis / attitude once you got to the items in quotes. Great work!

      Mary

      • #61287
        rogue1
        Participant

        Thank you, Mary! Always appreciate your insightful critiques!

    • #61234
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      It’s a great read – I love the s***k in the “bookers” attitude, it really jumps out at me in a great way. I agree with Toque that some more variation would help liven up the first half. Good job!

      • #61235
        burdahgirl
        Participant

        lol, it sensored a word – I promise it isn’t a bad word!

        • #61289
          rogue1
          Participant

          😆 Now I’m going to be up all night trying to figure out what word the forum ’bot censored. Thank you for your enthusiastic input!

    • #61227
      Toque
      Participant

      Hey Rogue. Audio quality sounds good. I might suggest adding some variation in intonation to the “lists” in the read (ex. “we plan, and scroll, and binge…) Otherwise it sounded very good! Toque

      • #61293
        rogue1
        Participant

        Thank you, Toque (and burdshgirl)! I definitely hear the flatness in the beginning. Was trying to express the “mundane” of the search but certainly agree it still needs some variation.

  • #61194
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Breyer’s Vienetta

    Breyer’s has created a spectacular ice cream dessert called Vienetta. But, despite its delicious premium ice cream, and its irresistible crisp, chocolatey layers — Vienetta will leave you with one small problem … VIENETTA FROM BREYER’S … one slice is never enough.

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    • #61265
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Bil-Bo – very good! I agree in that it sounds like something already out there on TV or radio. Very crisp, well-paced and your voice is really good for this genre. Good job!

      Mary

    • #61228
      Toque
      Participant

      Awesome read Bil-Bo! If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was an actual ad already running on tv and radio. Well done! Toque

    • #61215
      rogue1
      Participant

      Very inviting, folksy read. Picking up a definite, “pull up a chair and visit a spell”/“Burl Ives” kind of vibe. Plus, your voice has a lovely timbre, very well-suited to the brand. Great work!

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by rogue1.
  • #61191
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Hi all!

    I am figuring out my mic volume, placement, and a good standing distance from the mic. I am aware of mouth noise (I am using a pop filter).

    Here’s a short in-show/promo/commercial spot to test things out.

    As always, all feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

    Kathy

    CBS Evening News / Puffs Plus

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    • #61264
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy, sounds good!

      Mary

    • #61229
      Toque
      Participant

      Good read Kathy! I also found the volume a bit lower comparatively. Toque

    • #61217
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Kathy. Lovely read, very-well suited as a CBS interstitial. Technically, I did have to up my volume a bit to hear your record, plus I’m hearing what might be a bit of lip-smack on “CBS Evening News” (I keep green apples handy to munch on as I wrestle with the same issue). Nicely done!

  • #61186
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Hi everyone. Here is a read for a travelogue video. I’m really trying to sound spontaneous and vary my lists – trying to sound natural. If I don’t achieve this please let me know what I can do to sound more spontaneous. Thank you in advance!

    Katelyn

    This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more importantly, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place for cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snowboarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.

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    • #61263
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn, this sounded really good! Very conversational, friendly and natural. The lists sounded good. I’m not sure how to make it sound more spontaneous (I wish I knew actually!), other than maybe varying the pace here and there. Like if you were telling a friend about going to Alaska, you might get more excited about 2 or 3 things and feel compelled to get to those thoughts more quickly or say those words maybe not quite so formally. I think there was a little bit of that in how you varied the tone and pace in “…for planning a trip to Alaska.” Good job on this one!

      Mary

    • #61199
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi, Katelyn. Lovely, inviting quality to your delivery. I think you definitely achieve a natural spontaneity once you hit the second line in the script, though I feel your beginning sounds more like you’re reading rather than, say, talking with a friend. Maybe try the old trick of speaking a few intro lines in your head to more naturally dive into the script. e.g. in your head: “Wow, Myrtle, I didn’t know you were into ice bergs”, out loud: “This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video…” (I’m working on this myself, so I can certainly relate!) Maybe also hit “love” a little more on “you’re going to love this video…” Really great work!

      • #61231
        katelyndawnvo
        Participant

        Thank you! I was using a lead-in but perhaps I needed to connect more to it emotionally at the start, or need a different lead-in

        • #61305
          rogue1
          Participant

          My pleasure—-thanks for your helpful insights as well!

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