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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #61379
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Mary

    American Express
    Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.

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    • #61429
      monibr16
      Participant

      Hey Mary,
      Great job. I feel like you have a clear audience in mind. It seemed personable. I agree though maybe pick up the pace a tad. But great fit!

      • #61449
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Monibr16! I’m glad it came across as personable, and I will work on picking it up a bit – thanks!

        Mary

    • #61386
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi Mary, I liked this read for you. You asked the question at the start very genuinely which isn’t always easy to do. I would like to hear a take where you read this a little bit faster-paced just to see how it would sound. Nice work!

      • #61448
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Katelyn! I tried several times on the first question to make it sound genuine, so I’m glad it came across that way. I will work on picking up the pace too and see how it goes. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #61385
      John Trape
      Participant

      Hi Mary,

      I certainly felt that you made your script conversational. I thought that your opening and concluding sentences sounded friendly, welcoming, and natural – in particular your “and American Express keeps it that way”, which came across to me as being absolutely genuine.

      Regards,

      John

      • #61447
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback John! Glad that it is sounding conversational and natural! Thanks again,

        Mary

  • #61374

    Second crack at a PSA, this time with more of a pause between the message and the organization. Does it make you want to book a taxi home in advance the next time you go out on the lash?

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    • #61381
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Sarah! Good read. I really like your accent and warm tone in your voice. I’m not fully set up yet, but it sounds little muffled on my end. Good pacing and flow of the script. Keep it up!

      Mary

  • #61371
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Hi folks! Here is a script going on my narration demo. It’s a university video narration and I specifically have my younger cousin in mind and trying to see the things I’m saying as I’m saying them. Hoping to sound connected to the copy and like I’m talking to my cousin. Also really trying to avoid glottal stops – so many opportunities for those in this read. Any feedback is appreciated. I am uploading 2 reads.

    The Emily Carr University of Art & Design leads the way in excellence and innovation. Through visual arts and media design, we empower the next generation of creative thinkers to reimagine a more positive future.

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    • #61382
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn, really good reads! I think the first read was a little more upbeat and conversational by a tiny bit, and I could hear the encouragement in your voice. Very clear and friendly tone as always. Very nice!

      Mary

  • #61368
    TomGregory
    Participant

    It appears my files were too large. Here’s one more

  • #61366
    TomGregory
    Participant

    Here are a few new reads. As always any feedback would be great.

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    • #61383
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tom! Very nice! Great clarity and warmth in your voice, and good varied tone throughout. Good sound quality as well. Your voice is well-suited for this type of commercial Good job!

  • #61336
    JensenJacobs
    Participant

    Sorry just realize I had posted that last one earlier. Here are a couple more, appreciate any feedback!
    WSFS Bank
    We stand for what’s possible. We stand for ideas of all shapes and businesses of all sizes. We stand for giving you tools online to get your cash flow in line. And turning lines of credit into lines of customers. At WSFS bank, we stand for service.

    Always
    You don’t do ordinary. And neither do we. Defy expectations any day with Always Infinity, made with flex foam that Absorbs 10 times its weight. Rewrite the rules. Always.

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    • #61370
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi Jensen!
      Read 1: Very lovely inviting tone for this kind of corporate commercial, it suits your voice very nicely. You are adding in a lot of pauses that are cutting up the sentences for instance: “We stand for ideas of all shapes (pause) and businesses of all sizes.” So you really want to smooth out those parts.

      Read 2: I can hear the smile in your voice and its really nice in this read. Again, I would love to hear a take where you only pause where the periods are. Would you pause half-way through a sentence when you’re chatting with your friend about something? In normal conversations, we don’t pause like that. I had to have this beat into me by my coaches haha! Just so you know for reference again you paused here: “Defy expectations any day (pause) with Always Infinity,”

      Great audio quality as well. The volume is quite low. Industry-standard for auditions is to normalize it to -3db so you may want to practice that when you upload to the feedback forum.

      Great work! I look forward to hearing more from you!

    • #61358
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Jensen. Really lovely reads—-both are very accomplished and inviting. Your variation on the WSFS script is particularly effective. Great work!

    • #61343
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Very good.

  • #61333
    JensenJacobs
    Participant

    Appreciate any feedback. Thank you!

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    • #61341
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      I love it! This was very heartfelt, truthful, and it fits with your voice and pacing. Great recording quality too.

    • #61340
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I like the pace and tone. This fits your voice too! good work.

  • #61328
    BrianWigginsVO
    Participant

    More fun with auditions: the client brief on this merely said “confident”. The sample video they shared was a flashy/classy/futuristic sizzle reel of a new electric car with a lot of tightly-framed shots, so I went with confident and intimate, rather than confident and loud/boisterous.

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    • #61344
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      I enjoyed this performance. Critique: Make the whole thing consistent with the ending and you will be all set!

    • #61335
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      That was good and I think your approach was correct. good job

    • #61331
      JensenJacobs
      Participant

      Great read, I think it was a good decision to go with intimate rather than boisterous, it pulled me in more.

      • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by JensenJacobs.
  • #61325
    BrianWigginsVO
    Participant

    Some audition practice today…
    This one is for a short narration, and the client direction was “Mike Rowe style of delivery”, so I offered two different takes: one closer to Deadliest Catch (more announcer/presenter), and the other more like D***y Jobs (more conversational). Tone/pacing/delivery feedback?

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    • #61361
      chas82
      Participant

      Both were nicely done and each met your specific style goals but I connected with #2 a little better; it felt more like you were sharing something interesting while #1 seemed more like a news report. While only 2 seconds shorter than #1, the difference in #2’s tempo was noticeable and supported the conversational vibe better for me. The slightly higher pitch in #2 also helped move it to your “conversational” objective. Good job!

    • #61355
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Brian. Very accomplished read on both counts–quite pleasing in both tone and pacing. That said, I have to say that I find your second, more “D***y Jobs”/conversational read more engaging. Even though the scripts are identical, the second read keeps things moving at a good clip and definitely holds my attention (who knew track leveling could be so intriguing?)

  • #61310
    ThomasGreene
    Participant

    Practice Scripts – Commercial

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    • #61318
      BrianWigginsVO
      Participant

      Nice tone, good diction. The reads all sound very similar, though, and have an announcer feel, as opposed to the conversational feel that most clients are looking for presently. I’d say give them another shot with a different, specific listener in mind for each one, which should then translate to different tones and serve you better to show your range.

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