Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.-
Hey Mary,
Great job. I feel like you have a clear audience in mind. It seemed personable. I agree though maybe pick up the pace a tad. But great fit! -
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Hi Mary, I liked this read for you. You asked the question at the start very genuinely which isn’t always easy to do. I would like to hear a take where you read this a little bit faster-paced just to see how it would sound. Nice work!
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Hi Mary,
I certainly felt that you made your script conversational. I thought that your opening and concluding sentences sounded friendly, welcoming, and natural – in particular your “and American Express keeps it that way”, which came across to me as being absolutely genuine.
Regards,
John
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Second crack at a PSA, this time with more of a pause between the message and the organization. Does it make you want to book a taxi home in advance the next time you go out on the lash?
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Hi folks! Here is a script going on my narration demo. It’s a university video narration and I specifically have my younger cousin in mind and trying to see the things I’m saying as I’m saying them. Hoping to sound connected to the copy and like I’m talking to my cousin. Also really trying to avoid glottal stops – so many opportunities for those in this read. Any feedback is appreciated. I am uploading 2 reads.
The Emily Carr University of Art & Design leads the way in excellence and innovation. Through visual arts and media design, we empower the next generation of creative thinkers to reimagine a more positive future.
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Sorry just realize I had posted that last one earlier. Here are a couple more, appreciate any feedback!
WSFS Bank
We stand for what’s possible. We stand for ideas of all shapes and businesses of all sizes. We stand for giving you tools online to get your cash flow in line. And turning lines of credit into lines of customers. At WSFS bank, we stand for service.Always
You don’t do ordinary. And neither do we. Defy expectations any day with Always Infinity, made with flex foam that Absorbs 10 times its weight. Rewrite the rules. Always.-
Hi Jensen!
Read 1: Very lovely inviting tone for this kind of corporate commercial, it suits your voice very nicely. You are adding in a lot of pauses that are cutting up the sentences for instance: “We stand for ideas of all shapes (pause) and businesses of all sizes.” So you really want to smooth out those parts.Read 2: I can hear the smile in your voice and its really nice in this read. Again, I would love to hear a take where you only pause where the periods are. Would you pause half-way through a sentence when you’re chatting with your friend about something? In normal conversations, we don’t pause like that. I had to have this beat into me by my coaches haha! Just so you know for reference again you paused here: “Defy expectations any day (pause) with Always Infinity,”
Great audio quality as well. The volume is quite low. Industry-standard for auditions is to normalize it to -3db so you may want to practice that when you upload to the feedback forum.
Great work! I look forward to hearing more from you!
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More fun with auditions: the client brief on this merely said “confident”. The sample video they shared was a flashy/classy/futuristic sizzle reel of a new electric car with a lot of tightly-framed shots, so I went with confident and intimate, rather than confident and loud/boisterous.
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Some audition practice today…
This one is for a short narration, and the client direction was “Mike Rowe style of delivery”, so I offered two different takes: one closer to Deadliest Catch (more announcer/presenter), and the other more like D***y Jobs (more conversational). Tone/pacing/delivery feedback?-
Both were nicely done and each met your specific style goals but I connected with #2 a little better; it felt more like you were sharing something interesting while #1 seemed more like a news report. While only 2 seconds shorter than #1, the difference in #2’s tempo was noticeable and supported the conversational vibe better for me. The slightly higher pitch in #2 also helped move it to your “conversational” objective. Good job!
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Hi Brian. Very accomplished read on both counts–quite pleasing in both tone and pacing. That said, I have to say that I find your second, more “D***y Jobs”/conversational read more engaging. Even though the scripts are identical, the second read keeps things moving at a good clip and definitely holds my attention (who knew track leveling could be so intriguing?)
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Nice tone, good diction. The reads all sound very similar, though, and have an announcer feel, as opposed to the conversational feel that most clients are looking for presently. I’d say give them another shot with a different, specific listener in mind for each one, which should then translate to different tones and serve you better to show your range.
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