Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi Everyone,
I am new to voice over, and currently taking the private coaching. I want to post my practice recording and see what feedback I need to improve.
Script: California State Park (Edge Studio Librar)
Welcome to the California State Park’s Directory of Natural Resources. California’s parks are here for the entire family to enjoy. They’re your parks, and we urge you to abide by basic conservation guidelines. On days designated as “dry days,” please do not light matches or start fires of any kind in any of our parks. The threat of forest fires is of constant concern to California Foresters. Campfires are permitted, but in designated Campfire Zones only. All state parks are open at 7 a.m. and close at sundown. Please adhere to this rule for your own safety and protection. We would like you to come back often and take advantage of California’s great outdoors. After all, you make it work.-
Hello this was a very nice read your accent really makes the read very genuine and interesting. I am also new here and I found that when I mark up my script (which is when you create a legend of marks that you use to mark your script the way you want to read it.) you can read more about this process in The Voice Actor’s Performance Guidebook page 73 after the word IMPORTANT in bold letters. I have been doing this and it definately helps. You know your voice so marking where you need breaths at among other things also will help you to know exactly where to make those same edits if necessary later on.
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Hi Dmendoza, welcome!
I like the tone and pacing of this script for you. It sounded more like it was something you were reading than telling someone about (something I’m working on myself). In the second sentence it sounded more like a question “…for the entire family to enjoy?” vs. “…for the entire family to enjoy.” I agree too that there should be more emphasis on “you make it work” as a final statement for telling someone why they should go to California State Parks. Good job!Mary
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Hi there! Here is an audition I submitted! It is supposed to be for a promotional tourism video. My first try was more upbeat and family-oriented (they said to picture white sandy beaches, couples holding hands and families) and the second is more subdued for a luxurious video. I wasn’t sure which they were going for. Thanks for any feedback! 🙂
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Hi Katelyn! The first read sounded more natural, more you. As others have posted, a really crisp, clean voice. For the more luxurious read, maybe go down a tad in pitch so that it has a more sultry, refined feel to it. Just a thought.
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Hi Katelyn very nice recording quality sounded very clear and crisp. You did an awesome job on both reads. If you wanted to give it a completely different feel you could play with the pitch and inflection places which can naturally make you sound more upbeat or vice versa more luxurious and airy. I am totally new here, but I always change my pitch and inflection points up a bit when recording a different take so that the differences are more defined. Hope this helps! Excellent Job!
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Hi Katelyn. To me, the second read feels truer to what you intended (subdued, luxurious), so I liked that one better. To really distinguish between the 2 reads, i may have gone with even more energy/upbeat for the first read. Great work though! Toque
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Hi Katelyn! I actually liked the first one more. Your voice makes me want to go to whatever beach the spot shows me visually! I could see a little more energy there, too. Regardless, it was a really good read. Hope you get it! 🙂
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I think that both reads are good for this advertisement. Good recording quality as well. I think you can try and merge the two reads together. Find a balance between the two performances that will really make us, as listeners, want to go on a vacation by the beach and a vacation.
As a matter of picking between the first and second performance, I thought the second read was more heartfelt and luring the audience into the commercial and making us want to be there. Hope this critique is helpful
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This is a read I am considering for my demo. I did several takes and exhausted them because I can’t seem to get the beginning quite right, but maybe that is just me! Would love your feedback.
When you love your skin naturally, it shows. Boost your skin’s moisture for a glow the world can see. Introducing new, Burt’s Bees Truly Glowing Skin Care.
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Hi Amber, really nice read! You have such a nice, warm tone and it sounds really good for this genre. It feels very authentic for Burt’s Bees. Good job!
Mary
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It’s you – lol. I liked it overall and I especially liked how you started out. I’d guess that little uplift in tempo and pitch of “it shows” is what will set you apart, especially since it comes at the beginning. I could also feel you smiling when hitting that phrase which made the message more natural and conversational, and not just reading a script. The “for a glow” phrase didn’t flow for me – too much emphasis on pronouncing the “a”.( I’m wondering if you edited this part of the file – I sometimes hear similar effects on my stuff that I try to edit but I am still at bottom of learning curve with my DAW.) I also thought the pause at the comma after “new” was too long, making the last sentence a little choppy. Two very minor tweaks and overall, a very demo worthy read.
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Hi Amber. Sometimes I find it difficult to assess someone’s read without knowing what sort of “direction” was intended. I know a lot of the scripts in the Edge library don’t come with directions, which leaves it up to us to self-direct. What sort of read/sound were you shooting for? A lot of aspects of your read are good (ex. audio quality, pace, enunciation). As it is now, it comes across as a rather low-energy read. Is that what was intended? Toque
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Hello fellow voices! I’m really appreciating this forum and the positive, constructive feedback. Thank you all for participating! Here’s another one of my reads. I’m hoping to be really fun and engaging in narration for younger audiences. Any tips?
Script:
Why is food important? Well, it tastes good, and it’s fun to eat, but it also gives us energy! That means it helps our bodies move and work, so we can grow, play, dance, run, study, and think.Our bodies work kind of like a car. If you don’t put good fuel into the car, it won’t be able to drive. But, when you put the right fuel in, VROOM! Off it goes!
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Hi KBridges! Good work! I’m agreeing with others on the volume being low, and speeding it up just a little would be good too to keep kid’s attention. For the list of items “…so we can grow, play, dance, run, study, and think.” the tone started high and just kept getting higher, so maybe more variation but up and down in tone in that list? Hopefully that makes sense. I like it, keep it up!
Mary
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Hi Kbridges!
Thanks for sharing your read! I really like your energy during the read! I can tell you are smiling and really want to help people understand why the right food is important. A couple of things I noticed. You have essentially the same tone throughout your read. I’d look for a little tone variety as you are reading through it. I’d also working on speeding it up a little bit. I think the pace is just a little bit slow and could use a bit of a boost. Finally, as you are reading your list “play, dance, run…” try hitting a bit more variety in the list so it doesn’t sound like you are reading the list. (I got the same feedback yesterday too!).Hope this helps a bit!
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Hi adding another/different take on the Kingston piece below, as I didn’t like the first one after I listened to it over. Didn’t feel conversational enough, I thought. Toque
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Toque – I thought the second version was a spot-on, well-done conversational read. The change in tempo, a slightly increased pitch and nice enunciation combined to deliver what I heard what you described you were going for, one friend selling the features of a place they are connected with to another. And, you did an excellent job with the breathing, tempo and volume required to get through that big-a** first phrase of the second sentence. – Chas
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Hi Toque!
I listened to both takes of this read, and it’s cool to be able to hear the difference. The second read does have a more conversational, engaging, and positive energy. I imagine the narrator of the video walking along the waterfront, talking to the audience and showing them a beautiful place.
There was a little catch at the beginning of “proud to share” that interrupted the flow, but overall it flows really well and is well received by this listener.
What did you change between the two takes? Any tips on getting that more conversational tone?
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Hi kbridges. Thanks for the feedback! In the first take, I think I was in more of an announcer/narrator headspace, thinking of it more as a formal presentation I was doing. For the second take, I tried to imagine I was just talking to a specific friend of mine who was thinking of moving to Kingston. I think that helped make it more natural and less formal. That little catch you pointed out before “proud to share” was intentional, because we don’t always speak like we’re reading copy when we speak to our friends. Hope this helps! Toque
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Hi all. Tried posting this earlier, but then didn’t see it on the list, so I hope I’m not posting this twice. Because of my background, as part of my commercial demo, I’d like to add some sample(s) of reads for municipal governments, economic development agencies, etc. So this practice script is a snippet of an Ec. Dev. promo for the City of Kingston, Ontario. Your honest feedback on anything is very much appreciated! Toque.
City of Kingston Economic Development promo script:
Our residents benefit from a superior quality of life and are proud to share it.
Located on the coast of scenic Lake Ontario and nicknamed “The Limestone City”
for the beautiful buildings that line our vibrant downtown streets, Kingston is a place
where history and innovation truly thrive. -
Audition Feedback:
Client Brief: read in an American accent. In a tone that is down-to-earth, approachable, fun, professional and exciting
Two takes…not sure about which one, or maybe submitting both.
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Brian – I liked the second better as well. The first was good but I thought the second ticked all the boxes the direction called for to a greater degree. If I had to find one small change to suggest, the pause after “successfully launched” seemed a tad too long and impacted the very nice flow and tempo that is contained throughout. Good luck with this – Chas
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Hi Brian. Both reads are good!I liked the second one a bit better, I think because of some of the pacing, especially early on. Toque
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Hi everyone! Here is a short little recording for any and all feedback. I’m working on lead-ins to help me get into the feel of the scripts and sounding conversational. Let me know if it hits the mark. Thanks!
Mary
Michelob Ultra
If this is your idea of redeeming miles, this is your beer. 2.6 grams of carbs and 95 calories. Michelob Ultra. Lose the carbs. Not the taste.-
Hi Mary…there’s a lot of words that are being lost here as you speed by them or blur them into the next word. You need to make sure that all of the words are clear without over-enunciating them. Also, think about what words are important in each phrase: for instance, in “this is your beer”, you hit really h*****n “this” but blur the rest of the phrase together.
For the last two lines, you reverse it and really enunciate, and it feels very read, not conversational.
It will really help your reads if you understand who you are speaking to (as in, is this one of your friends? Where are having this conversation? Why are you having this conversation?). It will help you connect with the script and make the words flow more naturally, while still emphasizing the important parts.
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Hi Brian, thanks for the feedback. In an effort to be conversational and not speaking too slowly as if talking with a friend who bikes, the clarity was lost, so I will work on that. This was meant to be a casual read to a friend, but like you say sounded a little too rehearsed / unnatural at the end. I have been picturing who I’m talking to when I record (as per my coach) but still have work to do on that end. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hey guys here’s a small real estate quick-read with some ukulele…so if i sound bad at least you have some nice strumming to listen to… let me know what you think
Thanks
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