Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #61433
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    COORS BEER 30 SEC RADIO

    MOST BREWERS HAVE FIGURED OUT THAT BEER AND COLD GO HAND IN HAND.
    STILL, WE’RE THE ONLY ONES WHO BOTHER TO SHIP OUR BEER COLD.
    IN THE MOUNTAINS, OUR BREW WATER EVEN COMES OUT OF THE GROUND
    COLD. SO, WHILE OTHERS HAVE BEEN WARMING UP TO THE IDEA OF COLD, UP HERE,
    WE’RE KINDA STUCK WITH IT. COLD, CLEAN, ORIGINAL COORS … CAUSE YA’ FEEL LIKE IT.

    First State Bank

    In today’s world, everyone needs a bank they can rely on. But, unfortunately, most modern banks are just too big to provide the kind of attention and service you need. First State Bank is the exception. At First State, you’ll discover that banking can be personal and friendly, as well as modern and efficient. FIRST STATE BANK. Today’s bank.

    John Deere

    When you take shortcuts it shows. We don’t run like that. We build John Deere equipment the way we always have. The right way. Times change. Our principles don’t. You don’t just have our word on it. We’ve got our name on it. That’s how we run. John Deere…available at Northwest Tractors, your local John Deere dealer.

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    • #61453
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Bil-Bo – excellent work! both in the delivery and production for all 3 scripts. I don’t have my studio set up yet, but the third script sounded a little less “crystal clear” than the other 2 scripts did. All of them have great pacing and enunciation and sound very authentic for your voice. Very good!

      Mary

  • #61427
    monibr16
    Participant

    Hey friends! Would love feedback for new practice audition. Thank you!

    When you recycle, your Nespresso doesn’t just taste good… it feels good, too.

    When you recycle, your coffee doesn’t just grow on trees…
    it can actually help them grow.

    When you recycle your capsules, the aluminium can take on new lives…
    and take you new places…

    When you recycle, the end of the story is just the beginning.

    This is Nespresso. This is recyclable.

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    • #61454
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Monibr16, very good! Nice warm tone and I could tell you had a smile in your voice. I like the calmness in your voice and the unhurried pace. Since “recycle” is repeated 5 times, you might try it with a little more variation in tone for each of those 5 times; each phrase essentially acts like one item in a list. Very nice, and I now would like a Nespresso!!

      Mary

  • #61421
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Hey guys. Here is a read for my narration demo. This is one of those celebrity bios that you’d watch on access Hollywood or on a celebrity youtube channel. I’m imagining talking to my little niece who hasn’t heard of Taylor Swift before. I hope it comes across as engaged, and like I’m enjoying telling someone who hasn’t heard about TS. Let me know if this is hitting the mark or missing it. Thanks! After listening back I think they are both pretty much the same… lol

    Taylor Swift; the music superstar has been wowing fans since 2006, when she released her self-titled debut album. A few years later in 2010, she won the grammy award for album of the year. Since then she’s dominated the charts … and captured the hearts of Hollywood’s elite.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by katelyndawnvo.
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    • #61471
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Thank you all for your encouraging feedback! I agree, I think I will omit the “,” thank you!

    • #61455
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn! Good job! Both sounded good to me, but I too agree that #2 is better by just a little bit. It sounded authentic in telling someone about TS in an engaged and sincere way. Very good!

      Mary

    • #61446
      chas82
      Participant

      Katelynn, I think your choices in the slight variance of pitch and volume in #2 resulted in the much better of the two reads. I think you nailed which key words and phrases needed to be emphasized and that allowed your personality to shine through, making the entire read sound more natural, conversational and a topic you were truly interested in. Good work !

    • #61437
      TomGregory
      Participant

      Nice read. Very informative and I wanted to know more. I would have made the comma after 2006 only a break with maybe a quick lift instead of stopping the line. You may want to omit it all together. Great work.

    • #61430
      monibr16
      Participant

      Hey Katelyn!
      Your voice and energy were great in both, but I’d pick #2. The way you spaced it out and the words you chose to hit helped to highlight the right moments, and follow along with the story.

  • #61417
    chas82
    Participant

    Hi all – I chose a few travel Commercials because I wanted to try some scripts that seem to be a little lighter, a little more organic than what I’ve recently been practicing. Interested in how you think about tempo, pitch and tone as well as enunciation, volume and anything else you’re willing to share. Thanks for your interest.

    Sandals
    Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.

    Club Med
    Imagine for a moment … nothing. No clocks. No ringing phone. No traffic jams. No radios. No newspapers. And no crowds. Now imagine a Club Med vacation. An island village where aqua seas brush dazzling white shores. Where lush green palms line wandering paths. A place where evenings are filled with entertainment and dancing. A Club Med vacation is like none other. Ask your travel agent.

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    • #61456
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Chas, great work! This is a good genre for you. I too think you could slow down the Club Med script and really hang on the 6 phrases that start with “No”. After that long list of things, I think too that you could pause just a tiny bit before “Now imagine a Club Med…” to give it more emphasis, because you are now solving the needs of the reader by convincing people how they can escape all of these (negative) things by taking a trip to Club Med. Very good tone and enunciation for both!

      Mary

    • #61426
      chas82
      Participant

      Thanks Katelyn. Your feedback about slower and savor is exactly what I was going for. When I characterized my choice of script as “More organic” than what I’ve been choosing to date, it’s because I have zero trained acting chops and I want to be able to bring more emotion to the scripts that need it. I thought I was close but always room for improvement. I’ll try to find the time Saturday to do another version. Appreciate your on point feedback, as always – Chas

    • #61420
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hey Chas! Nice to hear your voice again. Nice work on these reads. I’d like to hear a couple of versions where you slow it down a little more and really savor these things while you are talking about them. I think that would help bring out the luxurious feel and paint the words like “seas brush dazzling white shores.” a little but more. I think your voice would be a nice warm and inviting option for something like this. Great job.

  • #61394
    FCabral
    Participant

    Here’s even more medical narration practice!
    Any and all feedback is very welcome, I’m trying to hit this niche and get comfortable with an overall style for the category.

    “Medical research (or experimental medicine) is basic research or applied research conducted to aid the body of knowledge in the field of medicine. Medical research can be divided into two general categories: the evaluation of new treatments for both safety and efficacy in what are termed clinical trials, and all other research that contributes to the development of new treatments. The latter is termed preclinical research if its goal is specifically to elaborate knowledge for the development of new therapeutic strategies.”

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    • #61457
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi FCabral – very good! Your voice is very well-suited for this genre. I liked the tone variation, pace and clear enunciation throughout. It sounds very natural. Very good!

      Mary

    • #61400
      ep1800
      Participant

      Hey everyone. I am working on a commercial read adapted from a Home Depot commercial. I am interested to get any and all of your feedback. I have recorded this in my closet/ home studio.
      Thank you.
      Ed

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      • #61458
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Ed! Good read. Good pacing and enunciation throughout. The tone of the read is serious (my interpretation), but you might try varying up the tone a little more throughout to give a little more encouragement / positivity to encourage shoppers to hang in there and continue coming to Home Depot. Good job on this!

        Mary

  • #61389
    TomGregory
    Participant

    I tried to upload these earlier.

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    • #61459
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tom! Good reads! I like the warmth in your voice and the pacing and enunciation for both scripts. I liked the smile in your voice for Purina and the slightly folksy accent and decisiveness for the 4H script. Keep it up!

      Mary

  • #61379
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Mary

    American Express
    Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.

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    • #61429
      monibr16
      Participant

      Hey Mary,
      Great job. I feel like you have a clear audience in mind. It seemed personable. I agree though maybe pick up the pace a tad. But great fit!

      • #61449
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Monibr16! I’m glad it came across as personable, and I will work on picking it up a bit – thanks!

        Mary

    • #61386
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi Mary, I liked this read for you. You asked the question at the start very genuinely which isn’t always easy to do. I would like to hear a take where you read this a little bit faster-paced just to see how it would sound. Nice work!

      • #61448
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Katelyn! I tried several times on the first question to make it sound genuine, so I’m glad it came across that way. I will work on picking up the pace too and see how it goes. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #61385
      John Trape
      Participant

      Hi Mary,

      I certainly felt that you made your script conversational. I thought that your opening and concluding sentences sounded friendly, welcoming, and natural – in particular your “and American Express keeps it that way”, which came across to me as being absolutely genuine.

      Regards,

      John

      • #61447
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback John! Glad that it is sounding conversational and natural! Thanks again,

        Mary

  • #61374

    Second crack at a PSA, this time with more of a pause between the message and the organization. Does it make you want to book a taxi home in advance the next time you go out on the lash?

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    • #61381
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Sarah! Good read. I really like your accent and warm tone in your voice. I’m not fully set up yet, but it sounds little muffled on my end. Good pacing and flow of the script. Keep it up!

      Mary

  • #61371
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Hi folks! Here is a script going on my narration demo. It’s a university video narration and I specifically have my younger cousin in mind and trying to see the things I’m saying as I’m saying them. Hoping to sound connected to the copy and like I’m talking to my cousin. Also really trying to avoid glottal stops – so many opportunities for those in this read. Any feedback is appreciated. I am uploading 2 reads.

    The Emily Carr University of Art & Design leads the way in excellence and innovation. Through visual arts and media design, we empower the next generation of creative thinkers to reimagine a more positive future.

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    • #61382
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn, really good reads! I think the first read was a little more upbeat and conversational by a tiny bit, and I could hear the encouragement in your voice. Very clear and friendly tone as always. Very nice!

      Mary

  • #61368
    TomGregory
    Participant

    It appears my files were too large. Here’s one more

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