Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,027 replies, 717 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
Replies
-
Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational and authentic. Thanks for listening!
Mary
Third Shift Beer
Third Shift is not just a beer, it’s a story.
A story about loving what you do.
They say when you love your job you never work a day in your life.
You never work a night either.
That’s what brought the band of brewers together to make a beer they’re proud to call their own.
Introducing the gold-medal-winning Third Shift Amber Lager.
When beer is your calling you never clock out.-
I do think you accomplished your goal. You sound like you’re talking with someone about something you’ve encountered and really enjoyed. I also get the idea you really know what you’re talking about. Only problem is, you pause in the middle of a sentence three times. Unless there’s a comma or a period in the script, you should generally avoid that. Good job overall though.
-
-
-
Hello everyone! Had posted this earlier, received some very constructive feedback (Thanks, BrianWiggins!), and thought I’d post again back-to-back to gauge any improvement.
Trying for a fast–yet still clear–delivery. All comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks for listening!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ELECTRONIC MASKS
“Slice and Dice! With the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles electronic masks, you’ll always be ready to “turtle up”! Take that, Shredder! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles each sold separately by Playmates.”
-
The second take was much better. I love how well your voice matches the script and you speak so clearly at such a quick tempo. However, I think you’re not hitting the best words and the tone you’re using during the enunciations should be redone. Also, in the beginning, you sound like your telling the the listener to slice and dice with the product. I don’t think that’s the intent. Still, you’re doing great. Well done!
-
-
Hi Rogue1, sounds great! The second script sounds fast but clear, and with more tone variation than the first read, which is good for this script. I too heard “ta turtle up” as opposed to “to turtle up”, which is something that trips me up quite often as well. Very good!
Mary
-
-
A definite improvement! Slow down to speed up worked well for you. I think it enhanced the energy of the read and that made it more attention grabbing. There was only one enunciation issue; you meant to say “..ready TO turtle up” but it sounded like “..ready ta turtle up.” Good job.
-
-
-
COORS BEER 30 SEC RADIO
MOST BREWERS HAVE FIGURED OUT THAT BEER AND COLD GO HAND IN HAND.
STILL, WE’RE THE ONLY ONES WHO BOTHER TO SHIP OUR BEER COLD.
IN THE MOUNTAINS, OUR BREW WATER EVEN COMES OUT OF THE GROUND
COLD. SO, WHILE OTHERS HAVE BEEN WARMING UP TO THE IDEA OF COLD, UP HERE,
WE’RE KINDA STUCK WITH IT. COLD, CLEAN, ORIGINAL COORS … CAUSE YA’ FEEL LIKE IT.First State Bank
In today’s world, everyone needs a bank they can rely on. But, unfortunately, most modern banks are just too big to provide the kind of attention and service you need. First State Bank is the exception. At First State, you’ll discover that banking can be personal and friendly, as well as modern and efficient. FIRST STATE BANK. Today’s bank.
John Deere
When you take shortcuts it shows. We don’t run like that. We build John Deere equipment the way we always have. The right way. Times change. Our principles don’t. You don’t just have our word on it. We’ve got our name on it. That’s how we run. John Deere…available at Northwest Tractors, your local John Deere dealer.
-
Hi Bil-Bo – excellent work! both in the delivery and production for all 3 scripts. I don’t have my studio set up yet, but the third script sounded a little less “crystal clear” than the other 2 scripts did. All of them have great pacing and enunciation and sound very authentic for your voice. Very good!
Mary
-
-
Hey friends! Would love feedback for new practice audition. Thank you!
When you recycle, your Nespresso doesn’t just taste good… it feels good, too.
When you recycle, your coffee doesn’t just grow on trees…
it can actually help them grow.When you recycle your capsules, the aluminium can take on new lives…
and take you new places…When you recycle, the end of the story is just the beginning.
This is Nespresso. This is recyclable.
-
Hi Monibr16, very good! Nice warm tone and I could tell you had a smile in your voice. I like the calmness in your voice and the unhurried pace. Since “recycle” is repeated 5 times, you might try it with a little more variation in tone for each of those 5 times; each phrase essentially acts like one item in a list. Very nice, and I now would like a Nespresso!!
Mary
-
-
Hey guys. Here is a read for my narration demo. This is one of those celebrity bios that you’d watch on access Hollywood or on a celebrity youtube channel. I’m imagining talking to my little niece who hasn’t heard of Taylor Swift before. I hope it comes across as engaged, and like I’m enjoying telling someone who hasn’t heard about TS. Let me know if this is hitting the mark or missing it. Thanks! After listening back I think they are both pretty much the same… lol
Taylor Swift; the music superstar has been wowing fans since 2006, when she released her self-titled debut album. A few years later in 2010, she won the grammy award for album of the year. Since then she’s dominated the charts … and captured the hearts of Hollywood’s elite.
-
-
-
Katelynn, I think your choices in the slight variance of pitch and volume in #2 resulted in the much better of the two reads. I think you nailed which key words and phrases needed to be emphasized and that allowed your personality to shine through, making the entire read sound more natural, conversational and a topic you were truly interested in. Good work !
-
-
-
-
Hi all – I chose a few travel Commercials because I wanted to try some scripts that seem to be a little lighter, a little more organic than what I’ve recently been practicing. Interested in how you think about tempo, pitch and tone as well as enunciation, volume and anything else you’re willing to share. Thanks for your interest.
Sandals
Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.Club Med
Imagine for a moment … nothing. No clocks. No ringing phone. No traffic jams. No radios. No newspapers. And no crowds. Now imagine a Club Med vacation. An island village where aqua seas brush dazzling white shores. Where lush green palms line wandering paths. A place where evenings are filled with entertainment and dancing. A Club Med vacation is like none other. Ask your travel agent.-
Hi Chas, great work! This is a good genre for you. I too think you could slow down the Club Med script and really hang on the 6 phrases that start with “No”. After that long list of things, I think too that you could pause just a tiny bit before “Now imagine a Club Med…” to give it more emphasis, because you are now solving the needs of the reader by convincing people how they can escape all of these (negative) things by taking a trip to Club Med. Very good tone and enunciation for both!
Mary
-
Thanks Katelyn. Your feedback about slower and savor is exactly what I was going for. When I characterized my choice of script as “More organic” than what I’ve been choosing to date, it’s because I have zero trained acting chops and I want to be able to bring more emotion to the scripts that need it. I thought I was close but always room for improvement. I’ll try to find the time Saturday to do another version. Appreciate your on point feedback, as always – Chas
-
-
Hey Chas! Nice to hear your voice again. Nice work on these reads. I’d like to hear a couple of versions where you slow it down a little more and really savor these things while you are talking about them. I think that would help bring out the luxurious feel and paint the words like “seas brush dazzling white shores.” a little but more. I think your voice would be a nice warm and inviting option for something like this. Great job.
-
-
Here’s even more medical narration practice!
Any and all feedback is very welcome, I’m trying to hit this niche and get comfortable with an overall style for the category.“Medical research (or experimental medicine) is basic research or applied research conducted to aid the body of knowledge in the field of medicine. Medical research can be divided into two general categories: the evaluation of new treatments for both safety and efficacy in what are termed clinical trials, and all other research that contributes to the development of new treatments. The latter is termed preclinical research if its goal is specifically to elaborate knowledge for the development of new therapeutic strategies.”
-
-
Hey everyone. I am working on a commercial read adapted from a Home Depot commercial. I am interested to get any and all of your feedback. I have recorded this in my closet/ home studio.
Thank you.
Ed-
Hi Ed! Good read. Good pacing and enunciation throughout. The tone of the read is serious (my interpretation), but you might try varying up the tone a little more throughout to give a little more encouragement / positivity to encourage shoppers to hang in there and continue coming to Home Depot. Good job on this!
Mary
-
-
-
-
-
Hello all! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.-
Hey Mary,
Great job. I feel like you have a clear audience in mind. It seemed personable. I agree though maybe pick up the pace a tad. But great fit! -
-
Hi Mary, I liked this read for you. You asked the question at the start very genuinely which isn’t always easy to do. I would like to hear a take where you read this a little bit faster-paced just to see how it would sound. Nice work!
-
-
Hi Mary,
I certainly felt that you made your script conversational. I thought that your opening and concluding sentences sounded friendly, welcoming, and natural – in particular your “and American Express keeps it that way”, which came across to me as being absolutely genuine.
Regards,
John
-
-
-
Second crack at a PSA, this time with more of a pause between the message and the organization. Does it make you want to book a taxi home in advance the next time you go out on the lash?
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
