Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello again,
Any/all feedback is welcome!! Right now, I am just working on my technique. Please ignore any recording software issues.
Script: The Library of Congress was established by an act of Congress in 1800 when President John Adams signed a bill providing for the transfer of the seat of government from Philadelphia to the new capital city of Washington. It was housed in the new Capitol until August 1814, when invading British troops set fire to the Capitol Building, burning and pillaging the contents of the small library. Within a month, retired President Thomas Jefferson offered his personal library as a replacement. Jefferson had spent 50 years accumulating books and his library was considered to be one of the finest in the United States.
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Hi there Kevin! I like your tone and warmth as you narrate I think you would be great for something like eLearning because of your upbeat and friendly sound. I agree with Mitch. The issue with the “act” word is that you are using a glottal stop. This is when your throat completely closes at the back where your “glottis” is, and then you have a harsh onset of the next word – particularly when it begins with a vowel. I used to get tripped up on “a” words all the time. Work on smoothing out your read by eliminating glottal stops. Nice work though 🙂 Hope this tip is helpful!
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Hello all!
Here is one of my last uploads before I record my commercial demo reel! Let me know what you think (I finally created a DIY VO booth in my closet so there isn’t any awful echo or reverb on my reads! Here are the scripts for the 3 products:
Sandals Resorts – Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.
Honey Bunches of Oats – It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
Ziploc – Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.
Hope you enjoy!
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins to help with getting into the proper mood and sounding concerned but conversational on this one. Let me know if those points were hit, or any other feedback. Thank you!
Mary
Psoriasis
If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare, but have been putting off seeing your dermatologist, it’s time to get the care you need, because psoriasis isn’t just a skin condition. Those itchy flaky red patches you see on the outside could be a sign of inflammation on the inside. Talk to your dermatologist about the impact of untreated psoriasis, and how they can see you safely to help get your symptoms under control. Schedule an appointment with your dermatologist today at psoriasis.com
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Hi Mary! This is a great script for your voice. The overall tone is definitively concerned, and if this were the actual commercial it would be completely believable! If I’m listening as though you are talking conversationally directly to me, it still seems a bit stiff (‘If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare’). But I think the issue is the copy, not the delivery. Know what I mean? A conversation to a friend would be, “Hey, if you’re having a psoriasis flare, you should really go see your dermatologist.” So, it’s not that you don’t sound conversational; it’s that the script is clunky. Good lead in (short and quick and germane)!
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Hi Mitch, thanks for the feedback! I agree about some of the script being stiff, and I like your suggestion about rewriting parts of it to make it more of a conversation you would actually have with a friend or maybe a relative that you don’t see often enough to know if they are taking care of themselves or not. It’s fun to do lead-ins; it has really helped me to hone in on the specific intended audience. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi everyone,
This is my first post in the forum. I am a beginner and am in the Edge Studio program. All feedback is welcome.-
Script:
Aetna/US Healthcare
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you. -
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Hi everyone! Just doing another quick read for you all. Any feedback is appreciated!
Carnation Breakfast Essentials
Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.
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Hi Svenbot, good read! I heard a tiny pause after “…we nourish them” and also after “Because today” where there was no comma. It might flow better and make more sense if those pauses were removed in my opinion. I liked the emphasis on “Carnation Breakfast Essentials”. Overall very good! I am being picky.
Mary
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I loved your read, the tone of your voice is very calm and relaxing. It made me pay attention to what you were saying because you were so sure of yourself. I thought the ending sentence “tap the banner to learn more” could have been sped up a tad, but otherwise it was perfect for me. Great Job!
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Hi Irvj – wow, very nice! Your voice is so nice, deep, warm and so pleasant! Your voice is really well-suited for this genre. Emphasizing and slowing down over “skip through until you find” would help the listener understand why the featured product “Premium” will be such an upgrade to what they have now. Very good job!
Mary
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Hey there! Imma try this a second time! First time I’ve posted a demo here; looking forward to any critique. You won’t hurt my feelings.
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Hi Mitch, Welcome and congratulations on your first demo post! I like the quality of your read very much, has a nice conversational ease to it that lends itself well to the client. On a technical note, you might dial your music levels back a bit as I feel your read is fighting to be heard over it (I second Lexi’s comment that you sound a bit removed from the mic). All in all, easy fixes! Keep up the great work!
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Hi Mitch, welcome!
Good job! I liked the energy, clarity and pacing. “Turn the trip you have to take…” sounded like “Turn the trip ya have to take..”; not sure if the “ya” was intentional, but just a small note to consider. Otherwise very good! Your voice sounds good for this genre. Keep it up!
Mary
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Unintentional! I didn’t even notice it; thanks for pointing it out. I wonder if it would sound more choppy with “you”. I’ll give it a try. Thanks Mary!
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I completely understand. It sounds more natural to say “the trip ya have to take” vs/ “you have to take”, definitely. I get the criticism that I say “ta” instead of “to” and “fer” instead of “for”, and it’s difficult to say in some scripts! Someone here posted a while back that they substitute 2 for to, and 4 for for in the scripts as they read them as a reminder, and I have started doing that too; really draws your focus to those tiny pesky connector words as you are performing the script! 🙂
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Mitch this was awesome! The read and music were on point. Your vocal audio sounds like you are in a small empty space, maybe a little far away. Not sure if that could be edited out or not. Other than that this was amazing!
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Thanks Lexi–you are WAY too kind! I probably need to be closer to my microphone. I have a decent one with a pop filter, but no real “studio” per se. Baby steps! 🙂
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Hello All! It’s Lexi and I am currently en route to recrding my Commercial Demo which I am super excited about!! Whoo hoo! So please let me know how I sound here in this PSA from our script library. Audio Chain used PCV Booth w/ moving blankets, NT-1 A w/ pop filter, PC, DAW Audacity, Scarlett 2i2 Interface. I also did some very minor edits on the original audio (Noise profile>Noise reduction>normalize) Audacity default settings are what i used to reduce the noise and normalize this audio.
Scripting
Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family – this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security Income benefits.
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Hi Lexi, great job! I really like your deep, clear and richly-textured voice. It sounds warm and reassuring and this is a great genre for you. I’m not fully set up in my studio, but I heard a breath taken at the very beginning and again before “This presentation…”, perhaps those could be edited out. I agree with Kevin about your pronunciation of Social in that it could be a little crisper / clearer each time it is said. Otherwise really good job!
Mary
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Hello Lexi! I am a beginner, so please take my feedback with a grain of salt. =)
I really like the warmth to your voice. My favorite part was, “this video is for and about you.” It really drew me in the way you emphasized “you.”
I was a little bothered by your pronunciation of “Social”. It sounds like “Soh-sul” instead of “Soh-sh-ul”, with an “sh” sound.
Otherwise, nice job!-
Hello Kevin! And welcome fellow beginner! I too am in my beginnings, but THANK YOU for your feedback! I greatly appreciate every response that I get from an newbie or a more advanced artist. I believe the ‘sh’ is the sibilant as IRVJ informed me of. And I think that can be edited out. I will keep working with everyone’s help here! Thank you!
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Good job! I like the read, pace and tone were on point. You might have to play with the Audacity settings a bit, sounded as if you were speaking into a can and there was also a bit of sibilance, (which I struggle with). You also might want to remove some breaths either manually or via a noise gate. The read was good, just need to tweak your settings. Keep it up!
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Hi Lexi! I particularly like your voice at the end of the first three sentences when its pitch goes lower. Tempo seems on point. Nice read!
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins and attempting to sound casual and conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
Balance Bar
Running for a train…or training for a run…
Find your Balance. Every delicious Balance Bar gives you the perfect 40-30-30 ratio of carbs, protein, and dietary fat……for energy that lasts. Balance Bar. Have you found your Balance?-
Hello Mary I love this read you did a wonderful job sounding casual and conversational! I would have liked the tmpo to be a hair faster just to make it sound even more conversational.
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To get in touch with my old man character in my demo, I decided to read some poetry as the character. I also would like some feedback on my performance and recording quality (i.e. loud enough, can you hear me perform, how’s my performance).
Script: There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream has come true, (Laugh) Oh I enjoy poetry
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Hi SuperLuke! Nice! I like your character voice, and it works really well for this poem. I like the tone variation throughout. I’m not fully set up yet to give much feedback on recording quality. “He woke with a fright…” sounded like “He woke wid a fright…” to me, so working on clearer enunciation is my feedback (from what I’m hearing). Keep it up!
Mary
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