Feedback Forum
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The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication.
Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
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Hey guys here’s a small real estate quick-read with some ukulele…so if i sound bad at least you have some nice strumming to listen to… let me know what you think
Thanks
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Hello, everyone! Another home record…trying for a conversational quality with a bit of humor. All comments welcome–thanks for taking the time to listen!
7-11
“So it’s 2AM on a Tuesday…and you are starving. Nothing in the fridge, nothing in the cupboard, not even a stray chip in the sofa cushions. You think about cooking and then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started the last time you even looked at the oven. But then you remember, 7-11. There’s gotta be one right near you. And they have everything from mouth-watering burgers to spicy tacos to crispy pizza all piping hot and ready to go. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Oh thank heaven, for 7-11.”
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I like your tone…this could be a really good read for you.
Things got very rushed right after the laugh (which was a nice touch)…slow it down, let it breathe! And be more specific with why you are saying these words. With a little tweaking, this could be something on a demo for you.
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Hi Rogue1! Great job! I like this script a lot for you. It sounds very conversational and I could hear the infused humor 🙂
I liked the varied emphasis on certain phrases like “…and you are starving.” and the last sentence. I think you could try a little more variation of tone in the lists “nothing in the fridge, nothing in the cupboard, not even a stray chip in the sofa” – these three things had a very similar tone. The same critique applies to the second list “…mouth-watering burgers to spicy tacos to crispy pizza…” Just my opinion on the lists, and I’m being picky. Overall really good reads!
Mary-
Hi Mary! Thanks, again, for the great input! I’m all for being picky 🙂 and certainly appreciate your taking the time to listen in and help me improve!
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Hello! This is my first post so be kind! I’m just doing some practicing and looking for some honest feedback. I’ve pulled this Lego commercial from the script library. Appreciate any feedback.
“My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.”
Thanks,
Amber-
Hi Amber! Welcome to the forum!
I really like your voice! Very warm and friendly, and your pacing and enunciation for this script was spot on. I agree too that you can “gush” a bit more about YOUR child and how special he is. It might sound like you are oozing too much enthusiasm in your head, but try it and see how it feels as a performance. It has been my experience that really emphasizing something like that can and will be interpreted as more excitement about the script. Really good job on this!
Mary
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Hi Amber! Congratulations on your first post! Folks are very kind here, so I know you’ll feel welcome.
You performed a really lovely read–very clear, warm, and inviting. You also do a good job in sounding conversational and “real” (as opposed to sounding like you’re reading a script). My one suggestion would to be lean into that conversational aspect even more and further push the persona that you’re a mom excited by the talents of your child. For example, the segment where you talk about how “he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer…” sounds a touch like you’re reading a list instead of building in excitement as to what your creative child has already achieved through LEGO bricks.
Hope you find that helpful–keep up the awesome work!
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Hello Everyone,
I have two narration scripts for which I would very much appreciate any feedback.
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein was a genius, and one of the greatest physicists of all time. His famous Theories of Relativity, which describe the relationship between mass and energy, and between space and time, were published in 1905 and 1916. Einstein was born of Jewish parents in Ulm, Germany. He spent many years in Switzerland, becoming a Swiss citizen in 1901, and gaining his Doctor of Philosophy degree in 1905 from Zurich University. It was while employed as a patent clerk in Berne that he published his first Theory of Relativity. This contained his famous equation: E=mc2, which explains the relationship between mass and energy.
30-Second Financial Sales Training Video Voice Over Script Sample
Okay, now we need to dive into what it looks like to start our ‘slow-trickle’ of products to the potential client.
Once that trust is formed, then we can start a slow passing along of custom reports, data and recommendations that are tailored to the potential client, always ensuring they’re being educated and equipped with new info along the way.
We want to give the savvy entrepreneurs that are looking to bank with us so much insight, that they can’t see how they’d take on this venture without us.
Thank you,
John
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Hi John! Very good reads! Your voice is very warm and the pacing and tone is excellent for both.
Script 1: I heard a pause after 1905, both times. Without the comma, you could instead read right through it, both places for more continuity and clarity of the thought.
Script 2: The word “being” sounds smushed to me, like “ben”, not a big deal and part of this may be your accent. I’m also hearing a pause after “…looking to bank with us” but there is not comma there that would suggest a pause.
Both reads were really well done! Keep up the good work!Mary
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Hi Mary,
Thank you very much for your feedback and encouragement! Yes, you are quite right about the pauses and the squishing of words. Art zeroed in on this tendency straightaway. I really have to watch this.
Thank you again,
John
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Really nice job, John. I like the first one, it’s very clear and your tone is good for a biography style. The pace is on the slow side, which works if it’s going to be a TV documentary (I was picturing it paired with visuals), but could be considered too slow if this script is meant for something else like an audiobook, for example. It’s hard to interpret when we just pull a script from the library with no context of how it’s going to be used. The second script is really good, too. It feels like your tone gets a bit more conversational as you read through it. Nice job on both!
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Hi Alexis,
I really appreciate your feedback. Yes, I wondered a little about the pacing in script one before I pressed ‘send’, and when I listened to it again, I could see what you meant were it to have been intended as part of an audiobook. Script two and the conversational tone – yes, I have a tendency to be too serious when I read, and I know that I have to concentrate much more on placing myself in the scene, as it were. I tried that with script two, and I feel that it is beginning to work.
Thank you again,
John
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Hi everyone! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think! Thanks,
Mary
Walmart Instacart
We know you’ve got your hands full at home, so Instacart is here to help make shopping a little easier. With retail partners like Walmart, you can get all you need from household items to fresh produce, and a shopper will safely deliver them, contact-free, in as little as 2 hours! Because between teaching, cooking and parenting, you could use one less job to do. Go to instacart.com or download the app to save ten dollars on your order from Walmart using the code WALTAP20.-
Hi Mary! Another lovely, clear, and inviting read–I definitely feel the “nice neighbor down the street” vibe effortlessly emanating from your performance. I would second Alexis’ suggestion of continuing to massage your performance to make it sound even more natural and conversational. (This is something I work to hone myself). Keep up the great work!
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Hi Mary!
Really enjoyed your read and the pace of it! One recommendation I have is that some of your sentences prior to the commas can sound a bit like a question. For instance this line “With retail partners like Walmart…” your pitch is down-up… and perhaps making it more of a confident statement – some pitch and tone on both syllables for Walmart, may make it feel more powerful. Really enjoy listening to your voice!
-Amber -
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Hi Mary,
Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reading of this script. A particular strong point for me was the way in which you differentiated the items “…teaching, cooking and parenting”. That sentence just sounded so natural.
Thank you,
John
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Hi Mary, I like your pace for this read, and you have good clarity in what you’re saying. For a different take I would suggest maybe having a little more friendly energy and smile, as if you were my friend or neighbor and you use this service all the time and you’re excited to tell me why it’s been so helpful to you. Best, Alexis
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Hey Everyone. Here are a couple of narration scripts. I am looking for better clarity and speed control. Feedback appreciated.
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Hi Adebenedicts! Both recordings were really quiet on my end, I had to turn it to the max (100) and it was still very quiet and hard to hear completely. For the first script, it sounded pretty monotone to me, I realize it is a narration, but it did not have a lot of variation in tone. The second sounded much better to me – you sounded more authentic and invested in the script as told to others. Pacing was good for both scripts. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hello again! I’d appreciate some feedback on this paragliding script.
“Working towards your first pilot rating will be an exciting (and memorable) part of your journey into free flight. Everything is new and even the smallest flights will be immense accomplishments. If you’re listening to this, you’ve probably dreamed the dream and are ready to get started.
After choosing an instructor/school you would like to learn from, talk with your instructor to see when is the best time and day to begin your adventures into free-flight. The most important items you’ll need to bring are sturdy ankle supporting boots that you can also run in, and water. Whether you choose to fly a hang glider or a paraglider you’ll begin with learning vocabulary important for the training and flying process. This new vocabulary will help you and your instructor over the coming weeks, months, and years. Your first days, depending on weather, are usually focused on ground handling the glider.”
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Hi Kbridges! Very nice! I like the tone of your voice and you have a nice warm, calm approach that is good for this genre. You might try preforming the first 3 sentences of the script with a little more energy – that’s the part where you are REALLY excited about teaching someone how to paraglide! Just more enthusiasm in general. After the first part of the script, it then settles down a little into the teaching part, and your tone there seemed appropriate. Good job!
Mary
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Hello! I’m looking for feedback on this practice take. I’m aiming for a young audience, e learning style.
“These words have something in common. Can’t, won’t, don’t….. They are contraction words! In today’s lesson we will learn about contractions and work with a few examples.
What Is a Contraction?
Imagine blowing up a balloon and watching it expand. It gets bigger and bigger. Now if we let the air out, it shrinks, or contracts. To contract means to get smaller.
In writing, you can use a contraction to combine two words together and make a shorter word. In other words, the contraction shrinks the two words. So a contraction is just a word that’s a shortened form of two words put together.
For example, when the words can and not are put together, the contraction word can’t is formed. The apostrophe is the small punctuation mark that takes the place of the letters we’ve removed. In the case of can’t, the apostrophe replaces the ‘n’ and the ‘o’ of not.”
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Hi Kbridges, good read! It sounded very appropriate for elearning to a young audience. I liked the pace and tone throughout. Your voice has a calm and friendly tone to it. I would say that the first “don’t” sounded more like “don’t?” as your voice raised at the end like a question (uptalk). I do this a lot and it is a hard habit to break. Overall very good!
Mary
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Hello all! I have 3 more scripts I’d like constructive feedback on. The first one is a documentary, the second one is a restaurant ad, and the third one is a Ziploc commercial.
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Hi Dante!
Here’s my feedback:
Documentary: You sound epic. Great job! My coach has been working with me on transitions, and I think it may help vary the copy if you picture different transitions when you talk about different things. When shifting from a global perspective to the cosmic perspective, for example. I also think you could move through the list of global environments a bit more fluidly. Lastly, just make sure you say “men and women” not “woman”. I think its very clear and overall good 🙂
Freshii: Great energy! I’d just differentiate the two bowls more, since they have such different flavors. Picture how they’d taste and look different 🙂
Ziploc: Really I think this is spot on. Great energy flow. Each sentence has its own vibe, and it ends really strong. Nice!
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