Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi Michelle, welcome!
I like your tone and nice soothing quality of your voice, very nice! It was really good for this script. I agree too that you could slow down the pace just a bit to pose the strong questions and give the listener a beat to catch up and think about “who would you be” for example. Good work!
Mary
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Hello mlanham!
You have a lovely richness to your voice which gives a gravity and inherent interest to your read. I would suggest slowing down a bit and, as you are talking about some very heady topics, injecting some further emotional conviction into your read. To me, such lines as “If you lived before our time, who would you be? Would you fight your brother?” seems to beg some pause for internal reflection. As always, perhaps visualize who you are talking to when you perform and let their imagined reactions guide you.
Listened to both your reads (History-channel.m4a and History-channel-2.m4a) and I must say that your first read (History-channel.m4a) already starts to capture some of that emotion (though I would still slow down a bit and luxuriate in what your imparting).
Beautiful craft–keep up the great work!
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Hi all! Here is one script recorded twice, which do you prefer? Trying to gage the appropriate pace for this script – it seems serious and thoughtful which would suggest slower to me, but not too slow so as to lose the listener’s interest. If you hear thunderstorms in the background, that was intentional! 🙂 Thanks!
Duluth – un 9 to 5ers
These are the blind faithful visionaries.
The hard-headed architects of adventure.
The dripping with drive, forward-thinking “un 9 to 5ers”.
They don’t take the road less-traveled, they forge their own roads.
They dream wildly.
They make bravely.
They build boundlessly.
These are the way-forgers.
This is how they forge their way.
Duluthtrading.com-
Hi Mary, As always you have lovely, inviting quality to your voice and your read is very clear. I agree with others that the first take seems more natural. Might I suggest trying one where you read the script in a more aspirational tone–like you are *celebrating* these Duluth -un 9 to 5ers; perhaps even slightly in awe of them and all they do as they “make bravely and build boundlessly.” Keep up the great work!
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You have a very nice voice and it was a pleasure listening to this. I think that this ad has moments of awesome alliteration in it and I think (just opinion) that it’s meant to be a little bit more invigorating and like a call to action
“architects of adventure”
“dripping with drive”So by the last line the listener is like HECK YES I WANT TO BE THAT PERSON. I hope this is helpful! You read it very well I just think it would be beneficial to try it a little edgier since it’s a company representing hardworking, outdoor, take no c**p, people.
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Hi Mary! The top one is definitely the winner as you speak at a more natural pace and it has fewer pauses within sentences and phrases. Things that stood out to me is the term “un 9 to 5ers” this needed some more clarity and that could be achieved by making sure you pronounce to as “two” instead of “t’fivers.” nice work Mary! 🙂
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Hello folks! Here is an audition I submitted for a fun read. The direction was to sound “Serious when we need but also playful and a bit sassy” So this was a total blast to do! Any feedback is appreciated Thank you!
Katelyn
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Hi Katelyn, Nice! Well done making CRM sound “sassy”–no mean feat putting a little juice in something traditionally so dry. If I were to nip-pick anything, I hear a touch of hiss on some of your “S” sounds (like “scooter dealershipsssss” at :20) Something I struggle with myself, so I might be simply be overly sensitive to it when I think I hear it. Break a leg!
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Hello everyone! Just a practice training script, any and all feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Sadly, too many times people with back and neck pain get a prescription of disability when they go to the doctor. “Don’t play tennis. Don’t play golf. Don’t go fishing.” While a day of rest may be okay right after an injury, the best therapy for back pain is movement. In fact, too much rest can make muscles and tendons less flexible – and more prone to future recurrent strain and back pain. Fact: You need a 20 minute walk to counter the effects of three hours of lying down. How would you know this? You’d learn that and more by reading our free 16-page Back to Life Journal. The Journal provides tips for those with back pain on how to get back to tennis, back to golf, or back to biking. Download your copy of the Back to Life Journal at NorthJerseySpineGroup.com.
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Hi John, very nice! Very good clarity and nice variation of tone throughout. I like how no-nonsense and informative the read was. A tiny little critique is that I did not hear any pause after “…and tendons less flexible -“, which would emphasize that more rest may not be a good thing. Other than that, it sounded really good! Keep it up!
Mary
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Hello again,
Any/all feedback is welcome!! Right now, I am just working on my technique. Please ignore any recording software issues.
Script: The Library of Congress was established by an act of Congress in 1800 when President John Adams signed a bill providing for the transfer of the seat of government from Philadelphia to the new capital city of Washington. It was housed in the new Capitol until August 1814, when invading British troops set fire to the Capitol Building, burning and pillaging the contents of the small library. Within a month, retired President Thomas Jefferson offered his personal library as a replacement. Jefferson had spent 50 years accumulating books and his library was considered to be one of the finest in the United States.
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Hi there Kevin! I like your tone and warmth as you narrate I think you would be great for something like eLearning because of your upbeat and friendly sound. I agree with Mitch. The issue with the “act” word is that you are using a glottal stop. This is when your throat completely closes at the back where your “glottis” is, and then you have a harsh onset of the next word – particularly when it begins with a vowel. I used to get tripped up on “a” words all the time. Work on smoothing out your read by eliminating glottal stops. Nice work though 🙂 Hope this tip is helpful!
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Hello all!
Here is one of my last uploads before I record my commercial demo reel! Let me know what you think (I finally created a DIY VO booth in my closet so there isn’t any awful echo or reverb on my reads! Here are the scripts for the 3 products:
Sandals Resorts – Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.
Honey Bunches of Oats – It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
Ziploc – Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.
Hope you enjoy!
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins to help with getting into the proper mood and sounding concerned but conversational on this one. Let me know if those points were hit, or any other feedback. Thank you!
Mary
Psoriasis
If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare, but have been putting off seeing your dermatologist, it’s time to get the care you need, because psoriasis isn’t just a skin condition. Those itchy flaky red patches you see on the outside could be a sign of inflammation on the inside. Talk to your dermatologist about the impact of untreated psoriasis, and how they can see you safely to help get your symptoms under control. Schedule an appointment with your dermatologist today at psoriasis.com
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Hi Mary! This is a great script for your voice. The overall tone is definitively concerned, and if this were the actual commercial it would be completely believable! If I’m listening as though you are talking conversationally directly to me, it still seems a bit stiff (‘If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare’). But I think the issue is the copy, not the delivery. Know what I mean? A conversation to a friend would be, “Hey, if you’re having a psoriasis flare, you should really go see your dermatologist.” So, it’s not that you don’t sound conversational; it’s that the script is clunky. Good lead in (short and quick and germane)!
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Hi Mitch, thanks for the feedback! I agree about some of the script being stiff, and I like your suggestion about rewriting parts of it to make it more of a conversation you would actually have with a friend or maybe a relative that you don’t see often enough to know if they are taking care of themselves or not. It’s fun to do lead-ins; it has really helped me to hone in on the specific intended audience. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi everyone,
This is my first post in the forum. I am a beginner and am in the Edge Studio program. All feedback is welcome.-
Script:
Aetna/US Healthcare
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you. -
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Hi everyone! Just doing another quick read for you all. Any feedback is appreciated!
Carnation Breakfast Essentials
Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.
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Hi Svenbot, good read! I heard a tiny pause after “…we nourish them” and also after “Because today” where there was no comma. It might flow better and make more sense if those pauses were removed in my opinion. I liked the emphasis on “Carnation Breakfast Essentials”. Overall very good! I am being picky.
Mary
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I loved your read, the tone of your voice is very calm and relaxing. It made me pay attention to what you were saying because you were so sure of yourself. I thought the ending sentence “tap the banner to learn more” could have been sped up a tad, but otherwise it was perfect for me. Great Job!
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Hi Irvj – wow, very nice! Your voice is so nice, deep, warm and so pleasant! Your voice is really well-suited for this genre. Emphasizing and slowing down over “skip through until you find” would help the listener understand why the featured product “Premium” will be such an upgrade to what they have now. Very good job!
Mary
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