Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi. I’m just getting back into practicing after a long lay-off and would appreciate any feedback on performance and/or recording quality! Thanks in advance !
Script: Private Equity Video
Welcome and thank you for taking the time to learn a little about Private Equity Solutions.
In this presentation, you’ll learn the basics about Private Equity and the role it can play in your clients’ portfolios, as well as in your practice.
Your ability to address the needs and goals of clients in these important segments will help you attract new business and build your practice
Clients have goals related to seven life priorities, with Finance being the connecting point among them all. Understanding these life priorities can help you identify concerns clients may have in the pursuit of their goals.
For instance, a client in Segments 4 through 9 may want to:
-Invest according to their values – Save for retirement
-Enhance returns while lowering risk and Help preserve their original investment.
For many of these clients, Private Equity can be an important solution to help them pursue their goals.
Specifically, we’ll discuss how Private Equity Solutions can:
-Fit into your overall goals-based approach with clients.
-Help your clients pursue the goals that matter most to them.
and Help you attract new assets.-
Hi Solin232, really solid work here! It sounds really well-paced and with great choices on phrases and selected key words to emphasize. Your voice is really nice and very well-suited for this genre. Great job!
Mary
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Hi all! Another practise read below, for a PSA re: Drinking & Driving, from the Edge Library. Comments on any and all aspects are very much appreciated. Toque
Script:
As an emergency room surgeon, I’ve seen things most people never will. I have had to harden myself … so I can do my job.
But when I see another family ripped apart…because of a d***k driver…that really breaks my heart.
If you could see the damage done on a daily basis, like I do…You’d never drink and drive again.-
Toque, really nice job on this recording.
You have 3 emotions, one for each line of the script.
My only sugestion is to begin your second emotion with a lead-in, beginning with “harden myself” instead of the start of line 2.
The third emotion was a homerun. That emotion did have a lead-in beginning with “that really breaks my heart,” and really works. -
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Your take is fantastic! You sound like a real authority on the subject and I like the words you hit. Your tone is even and polite which is very fitting for a read like this. However, I think the part “because of a d***k driver” could use more differentiation. You should sound as if you’re breaking off from the original read in order to put emphasis on it.
Good going. Keep up the good work.
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Hi everyone! I’m recording my demo later today and I’m super excited and nervous! Here’s a one take warm-up I did, would love any feedback! I’m not in my recording space so please excuse any noise you may hear.
Peet’s Coffee
Meet Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.
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Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think! I used to drive an Xterra and it was such a great vehicle!!! Thank you for listening,
Mary
Nissan Xterra
If necessity is the mother of invention, the Xterra is its dirt-covered poster boy. So in addition to the available 210-hp, SuperCharged V6, you’ll also find lots of heavy-duty stuff at your disposal. After all, you never know when a ladder-box truck frame and maximum 5,000-pound towing capacity will come in handy. The Nissan Xterra: A million uses and counting.-
I really like your pitch and tempo, but the tone sounds decidedly uninterested in the first half. You come off as more of a critic than a salesperson. You need to remember that you’re trying to sell this to someone, act as if you’re talking with someone or a group of someones. Also, in the “lists,” you sounded even-pitched, others one the forum have told me that lists need to have unique inflections for each item or phrase. It’s not just good for the listener, but for the voice actor. It ensures they don’t fall into a habit of giving bland reads. You got a great voice though, keep up the good work.
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Hi Mary
I could hear the connection of you being a former owner who really liked their SUV. Nice pitch, nice tempo. I agree with the other posters and I also suggest a few little tweaks, At the beginning, I hear “IV” ( like in give) instead of “IF”. Also, at the end of the first phrase, I think if the emphasis moved to the second syllable of invention and you lost the uptalk used on the third, it would better set up what this conditional statement is designed to communicate. I believe but am not sure you were starting to run out of breath at very end of the long sentence starting “after all”. The word “handy” sounded a little slurry. Finally, I think a little more energy would be good applied to the final “Nissan Xterra” – “Xterra” sounded a little bit downbeat and after all, it is what this message is about.-
Hi Chas, thanks for the feedback! Yes, I will work on my enunciation on “if” so it doesn’t sound so soft, good catch. Also good tip on the “intention” syllable emphasis. I have to watch uptalk, one time I feel like I eliminate it, and then the next time it pops back up. You are right, I was running out of breath on “handy”. More excitement / energy on Xterra would be good as well. Thanks for the specific notes, this is very helpful!
Mary
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Hi Mary. I would just echo Svenbot’s comments. I think your reading would benefit from being more conversational, like you were just chatting casually with your best friend and telling them about your X-terra. Hope this helps. Toque
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Hi Mary! Looks like you in the first sentence you forgot to say ‘of’. It sounds like you’re just saying ‘mother invention’. I would also play with tone a little bit throughout the read. My coach tells me to treat these like we’re telling a story with a beginning, middle and end. Since you owned an Xterra, think back to how much you liked yours as you’re reading. Hope that helps!
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Hi Svenbot, thanks for the feedback! That is really weird, I did not catch that I totally smushed the first “of” I will watch the tone variation as well. I was focused on not adding unnecessary pauses where there are no commas, which has been hard, but seems like it should simple. I like the idea of telling a story with a beginning, middle and an end, that really makes sense in making it seem believable, I will work on that too. Thanks for the tips!
Mary
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Hi Everyone! Any feedback is appreciated. Feel free to pick apart, the more detail the better. Thank you in advance!
Allstate Insurance – Agent
Go ahead… Make a wish… Now call your Allstate agent. Because today, planning makes wishes come true. And your Allstate agent can help make sure that “family security”, “college funding”, and even a “healthy retirement” are in the stars for you. Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life. You’re in good hands with Allstate Life Insurance.
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Maci – I’ll echo the same comments from others. Loved the voice and this was a good choice of copy for you but the tempo needs to be dialed down and you need to respect the ellipses and periods a little more. Slowing down also allows you to emphasize a few more key words and phrases. I look forward to hearing your repost if you decide to do one.
Chas
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Hi Maci! Good read! I liked this genre for you and your warm and calm voice. It sounded a little bit quickly paced to me, and in areas with triple periods or periods there was next to no pause at all. You could try really emphasizing / stretching “go ahead” and “make a wish” to draw in listeners and make them a little curious as to what it going to be said. GOod job!
Mary
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Hello, Maci.
I like your distance to the mic and your volume level — feels like you are having a conversation with just me. Loved your delivery on “Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life.” If your breaths are louder than you’d like, reduce their volume with your editing software rather than remove them. When you delete breaths entirely it throws off the natural cadence of your delivery and makes it sound…unnatural. I think your voice is a great fit for scripts like this one.
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Hi – adding more VO practice clips for feedback. These were all recorded via my phone as it’s just for practice. Thanks!
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Hi Noreen! Good job on these.
Script 1: Truebill – The word “forgotten” sounded smushed, like “forgo’en”, with no t. Also you might try emphasizing “Truebill” a little more. By the time the product name is mentioned near the end of the script, the tone drops very low.
Script 2: Wix – I heard an upwards inflection that sounded more like an unfinished sentence than a statement on “go to Wix.com”. Also, “professional” sounded smushed like “prafessn’l”
Script 3: Elf – I liked this one the best for you – you sounded the most authentic on this one and invested in the product. I hope that helps. Keep it up!Mary
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Hey there! I found this great bit in the library from Motel 6, and thought it was a good match. Would you pick apart this performance please?
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Hi Mitch, Very good! Your voice is warm and reassuring and good for this commercial. I liked your take on this one and the humor in it while not being over the top. Your voice sounded neighborly, which is very fitting for this one. Good job!
Mary
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Your voice is calming and trustworthy. Makes me want to stay at Motel 6! You put the right amount of emotion in the performance, loved it!
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Your voice is very nice Mitch! Your voice keeps me listening! You had me convinced that Motel 6 is a great place to stay even though I’m familiar with otherwise. I was actually beginning to think maybe there are still some really nice Motel 6’s around. Just based on your voice nice!
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Morning everyone. Here is an audition for a promotional online video. I forget exactly what the requirements were (this was almost a week ago) but I remember being friendly was part of it… and I think to speak faster than normal because it had to fit within certain time frames. Anyways! Thanks for your feedback you guys!
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Hey, Katelyn.
I especially liked your relaxed, friendly tone of your performance, which you settled into following the first phrase. The list (explore, deepen, get lost) was so good. The phrase “following the link in the description below” could have been just a bit more articulated, since it is the call to action. Overall, really engaging and warm. Great job. -
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Very Nice Katelyn! And great luck I really hope that you get it! Your read sounds excellent I may have only expected the tempo to be a bit faster, but only because you mentioned it. Otherwise you sound nice and clear. I would want to follow the link that you talk about just based on the friendliness of your voice and the perfect amount of energy. Sounded very natural.
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Hi all, Looking for any feedback on this corporate narration script. Thanks!
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
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Hi Alexis, very nice read. Your voice is very relaxed and inviting. I’m a beginner, so take my feedback for what it’s worth: I do feel like at times it is more “announcer-like” rather than conversational. You might want to try imagining you are talking to one person rather than a large group. Overall, I think your voice works really well for this genre.
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Well hello Alexis my name is also Alexis I go by Lexi though. Your voice is very welcoming and confident in this read. Your sound quality is also great! When you say “as a new employee” the word employee tails off and almost sounds like employ. But this sounds awesome I’m sure you could punch and roll to fix that.
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Hi there Alexis, very nice read. Your read was smooth and didn’t have unnecessary pauses throughout. Your tone was warm and comforting, I agree with Marc, very professional sounding. I think with your long list, the words “performance reviews” was a bit lost. Great work!
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Alexis, your voice is very well suited to this script. The welcoming and professional tone comes through very well. The voice is clear and calm, and the recording quality is excellent to my ears. One quibble is that the “and” at the end should be de-emphasized a bit in favor of giving the more important words around it more of a boost. Overall great job!
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