Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
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January 28, 2021 at 1:10 pm #62101
Toque
ParticipantHi all! Another practise read below, for a PSA re: Drinking & Driving, from the Edge Library. Comments on any and all aspects are very much appreciated. Toque
Script:
As an emergency room surgeon, I’ve seen things most people never will. I have had to harden myself … so I can do my job.
But when I see another family ripped apart…because of a d***k driver…that really breaks my heart.
If you could see the damage done on a daily basis, like I do…You’d never drink and drive again.Attachments:
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January 30, 2021 at 10:20 pm #62253
kevinwiland
ParticipantToque, really nice job on this recording.
You have 3 emotions, one for each line of the script.
My only sugestion is to begin your second emotion with a lead-in, beginning with “harden myself” instead of the start of line 2.
The third emotion was a homerun. That emotion did have a lead-in beginning with “that really breaks my heart,” and really works. -
January 28, 2021 at 11:01 pm #62158
mkell755
ParticipantHi Toque, this is great! So believable and sincere. I especially like the emphasis on “see” the damage; it really stops you in your tracks and as the listener we (hopefully) feel instant empathy. This is very well done!
Mary
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January 28, 2021 at 4:42 pm #62134
TimDKietzman
ParticipantYour take is fantastic! You sound like a real authority on the subject and I like the words you hit. Your tone is even and polite which is very fitting for a read like this. However, I think the part “because of a d***k driver” could use more differentiation. You should sound as if you’re breaking off from the original read in order to put emphasis on it.
Good going. Keep up the good work.
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January 28, 2021 at 11:47 am #62097
svenbot5000
ParticipantHi everyone! I’m recording my demo later today and I’m super excited and nervous! Here’s a one take warm-up I did, would love any feedback! I’m not in my recording space so please excuse any noise you may hear.
Peet’s Coffee
Meet Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.
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January 27, 2021 at 11:16 pm #62085
mkell755
ParticipantHello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think! I used to drive an Xterra and it was such a great vehicle!!! Thank you for listening,
Mary
Nissan Xterra
If necessity is the mother of invention, the Xterra is its dirt-covered poster boy. So in addition to the available 210-hp, SuperCharged V6, you’ll also find lots of heavy-duty stuff at your disposal. After all, you never know when a ladder-box truck frame and maximum 5,000-pound towing capacity will come in handy. The Nissan Xterra: A million uses and counting.Attachments:
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January 28, 2021 at 4:52 pm #62135
TimDKietzman
ParticipantI really like your pitch and tempo, but the tone sounds decidedly uninterested in the first half. You come off as more of a critic than a salesperson. You need to remember that you’re trying to sell this to someone, act as if you’re talking with someone or a group of someones. Also, in the “lists,” you sounded even-pitched, others one the forum have told me that lists need to have unique inflections for each item or phrase. It’s not just good for the listener, but for the voice actor. It ensures they don’t fall into a habit of giving bland reads. You got a great voice though, keep up the good work.
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January 28, 2021 at 10:01 pm #62150
mkell755
ParticipantThanks for the feedback Tim! I did not mean to sound critical, but more excited about the Xterra, so I will watch my delivery on that. I agree that my lists were not as varied as they could have been, so that’s another area I will work on. Thanks for the tips, that’s helpful.
Mary
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January 28, 2021 at 4:07 pm #62122
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January 28, 2021 at 4:09 pm #62124
chas82
ParticipantHi Mary
I could hear the connection of you being a former owner who really liked their SUV. Nice pitch, nice tempo. I agree with the other posters and I also suggest a few little tweaks, At the beginning, I hear “IV” ( like in give) instead of “IF”. Also, at the end of the first phrase, I think if the emphasis moved to the second syllable of invention and you lost the uptalk used on the third, it would better set up what this conditional statement is designed to communicate. I believe but am not sure you were starting to run out of breath at very end of the long sentence starting “after all”. The word “handy” sounded a little slurry. Finally, I think a little more energy would be good applied to the final “Nissan Xterra” – “Xterra” sounded a little bit downbeat and after all, it is what this message is about.-
January 28, 2021 at 9:58 pm #62149
mkell755
ParticipantHi Chas, thanks for the feedback! Yes, I will work on my enunciation on “if” so it doesn’t sound so soft, good catch. Also good tip on the “intention” syllable emphasis. I have to watch uptalk, one time I feel like I eliminate it, and then the next time it pops back up. You are right, I was running out of breath on “handy”. More excitement / energy on Xterra would be good as well. Thanks for the specific notes, this is very helpful!
Mary
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January 28, 2021 at 1:20 pm #62104
Toque
ParticipantHi Mary. I would just echo Svenbot’s comments. I think your reading would benefit from being more conversational, like you were just chatting casually with your best friend and telling them about your X-terra. Hope this helps. Toque
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January 28, 2021 at 11:27 am #62096
svenbot5000
ParticipantHi Mary! Looks like you in the first sentence you forgot to say ‘of’. It sounds like you’re just saying ‘mother invention’. I would also play with tone a little bit throughout the read. My coach tells me to treat these like we’re telling a story with a beginning, middle and end. Since you owned an Xterra, think back to how much you liked yours as you’re reading. Hope that helps!
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January 28, 2021 at 9:51 pm #62147
mkell755
ParticipantHi Svenbot, thanks for the feedback! That is really weird, I did not catch that I totally smushed the first “of” I will watch the tone variation as well. I was focused on not adding unnecessary pauses where there are no commas, which has been hard, but seems like it should simple. I like the idea of telling a story with a beginning, middle and an end, that really makes sense in making it seem believable, I will work on that too. Thanks for the tips!
Mary
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January 27, 2021 at 9:56 pm #62083
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantComment moved.
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Bill Anciaux.
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January 27, 2021 at 3:25 pm #62062
Maci Roberts
ParticipantHi Everyone! Any feedback is appreciated. Feel free to pick apart, the more detail the better. Thank you in advance!
Allstate Insurance – Agent
Go ahead… Make a wish… Now call your Allstate agent. Because today, planning makes wishes come true. And your Allstate agent can help make sure that “family security”, “college funding”, and even a “healthy retirement” are in the stars for you. Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life. You’re in good hands with Allstate Life Insurance.
Attachments:
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January 28, 2021 at 4:55 pm #62136
TimDKietzman
ParticipantYou got the best voice I’ve heard for this script. Your tone, pitch and tempo were spot on too. However, I think your lists were rather bland and you need more pause between periods and commas, otherwise it sounds like you’re rushing things. Even so, good going.
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January 28, 2021 at 4:32 pm #62130
chas82
ParticipantMaci – I’ll echo the same comments from others. Loved the voice and this was a good choice of copy for you but the tempo needs to be dialed down and you need to respect the ellipses and periods a little more. Slowing down also allows you to emphasize a few more key words and phrases. I look forward to hearing your repost if you decide to do one.
Chas
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January 28, 2021 at 1:25 pm #62105
Toque
ParticipantHi Macy. Same feedback as others. Great voice!The pace just felt a bit rushed. Great work! Toque
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January 27, 2021 at 11:26 pm #62088
mkell755
ParticipantHi Maci! Good read! I liked this genre for you and your warm and calm voice. It sounded a little bit quickly paced to me, and in areas with triple periods or periods there was next to no pause at all. You could try really emphasizing / stretching “go ahead” and “make a wish” to draw in listeners and make them a little curious as to what it going to be said. GOod job!
Mary
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January 27, 2021 at 9:49 pm #62082
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHello, Maci.
I like your distance to the mic and your volume level — feels like you are having a conversation with just me. Loved your delivery on “Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life.” If your breaths are louder than you’d like, reduce their volume with your editing software rather than remove them. When you delete breaths entirely it throws off the natural cadence of your delivery and makes it sound…unnatural. I think your voice is a great fit for scripts like this one.
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January 27, 2021 at 9:23 pm #62080
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantHi Maci! I believe you picked a great ad for your voice. It’s very relatable and trustworthy! I think the tempo was a bit speedy–Loved the voice, but the words didn’t stick. Maybe break it up into bite-sized pieces that I can ingest and digest. I’d love to hear it again! 🙂
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January 27, 2021 at 6:00 pm #62075
AndreaC
ParticipantHi Maci! I love the warmth in your voice – very approachable! I would place a bit more emphasis on “Allstate Life Insurance”. Maybe vary the inflection on the listed items. Nice pace!
Thanks!
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January 27, 2021 at 2:54 pm #62057
NoreenQuadir
ParticipantHi – adding more VO practice clips for feedback. These were all recorded via my phone as it’s just for practice. Thanks!
Attachments:
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January 27, 2021 at 11:39 pm #62089
mkell755
ParticipantHi Noreen! Good job on these.
Script 1: Truebill – The word “forgotten” sounded smushed, like “forgo’en”, with no t. Also you might try emphasizing “Truebill” a little more. By the time the product name is mentioned near the end of the script, the tone drops very low.
Script 2: Wix – I heard an upwards inflection that sounded more like an unfinished sentence than a statement on “go to Wix.com”. Also, “professional” sounded smushed like “prafessn’l”
Script 3: Elf – I liked this one the best for you – you sounded the most authentic on this one and invested in the product. I hope that helps. Keep it up!Mary
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January 27, 2021 at 11:36 am #62044
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantHey there! I found this great bit in the library from Motel 6, and thought it was a good match. Would you pick apart this performance please?
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January 28, 2021 at 1:28 pm #62106
Toque
ParticipantSounds great Mitch! Very smooth, good pacing. Tone and volume fit the copy well. Nice work! Toque
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January 28, 2021 at 8:18 pm #62146
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantThanks Toque!
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January 27, 2021 at 11:44 pm #62090
mkell755
ParticipantHi Mitch, Very good! Your voice is warm and reassuring and good for this commercial. I liked your take on this one and the humor in it while not being over the top. Your voice sounded neighborly, which is very fitting for this one. Good job!
Mary
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January 28, 2021 at 8:18 pm #62145
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantThanks Mary!
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January 27, 2021 at 3:30 pm #62064
Maci Roberts
ParticipantYour voice is calming and trustworthy. Makes me want to stay at Motel 6! You put the right amount of emotion in the performance, loved it!
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January 27, 2021 at 9:19 pm #62079
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantThanks Maci!
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January 27, 2021 at 12:24 pm #62055
Official81
ParticipantYour voice is very nice Mitch! Your voice keeps me listening! You had me convinced that Motel 6 is a great place to stay even though I’m familiar with otherwise. I was actually beginning to think maybe there are still some really nice Motel 6’s around. Just based on your voice nice!
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January 27, 2021 at 9:19 pm #62078
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantThanks Lexi!
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January 27, 2021 at 10:15 am #62038
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantMorning everyone. Here is an audition for a promotional online video. I forget exactly what the requirements were (this was almost a week ago) but I remember being friendly was part of it… and I think to speak faster than normal because it had to fit within certain time frames. Anyways! Thanks for your feedback you guys!
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January 27, 2021 at 11:46 pm #62091
mkell755
ParticipantHi Katelyn, great job! It sounded quick, but fitting for the topic, and very clear and friendly too. Very good!
Mary
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January 27, 2021 at 11:50 am #62048
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantMany thanks, you guys! Auditioning sure is a bit more nerve-racking!
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January 27, 2021 at 9:40 pm #62081
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHey, Katelyn.
I especially liked your relaxed, friendly tone of your performance, which you settled into following the first phrase. The list (explore, deepen, get lost) was so good. The phrase “following the link in the description below” could have been just a bit more articulated, since it is the call to action. Overall, really engaging and warm. Great job. -
January 27, 2021 at 12:21 pm #62054
Official81
ParticipantYou will be fine you do an awesome job! Your thoughts become things you got it girl! Think it into existance!
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January 27, 2021 at 11:32 am #62043
Official81
ParticipantVery Nice Katelyn! And great luck I really hope that you get it! Your read sounds excellent I may have only expected the tempo to be a bit faster, but only because you mentioned it. Otherwise you sound nice and clear. I would want to follow the link that you talk about just based on the friendliness of your voice and the perfect amount of energy. Sounded very natural.
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January 27, 2021 at 11:21 am #62041
Mitch_Crawford
ParticipantSuch an upbeat voice Katelyn! I wanna follow that link! I guess my only question would be whether or not something came directly after this, as your inflection on the last syllable may suggest? Love this audition!
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January 26, 2021 at 8:11 pm #62021
AlexisVO
ParticipantHi all, Looking for any feedback on this corporate narration script. Thanks!
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
Attachments:
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January 30, 2021 at 10:33 pm #62254
kevinwiland
ParticipantHi Alexis, very nice read. Your voice is very relaxed and inviting. I’m a beginner, so take my feedback for what it’s worth: I do feel like at times it is more “announcer-like” rather than conversational. You might want to try imagining you are talking to one person rather than a large group. Overall, I think your voice works really well for this genre.
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January 28, 2021 at 11:10 pm #62160
mkell755
ParticipantHi Alexis, I love your voice for this script! So nice, warm, smooth and welcoming. The only thing I would offer is that maybe a little more variation in tone could be to the list of each of the 4 items at the end of the script. Really good work!
Mary
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January 27, 2021 at 11:38 am #62046
Official81
ParticipantWell hello Alexis my name is also Alexis I go by Lexi though. Your voice is very welcoming and confident in this read. Your sound quality is also great! When you say “as a new employee” the word employee tails off and almost sounds like employ. But this sounds awesome I’m sure you could punch and roll to fix that.
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January 27, 2021 at 10:03 am #62035
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHi there Alexis, very nice read. Your read was smooth and didn’t have unnecessary pauses throughout. Your tone was warm and comforting, I agree with Marc, very professional sounding. I think with your long list, the words “performance reviews” was a bit lost. Great work!
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January 27, 2021 at 2:21 am #62033
Marc Briggs
ParticipantAlexis, your voice is very well suited to this script. The welcoming and professional tone comes through very well. The voice is clear and calm, and the recording quality is excellent to my ears. One quibble is that the “and” at the end should be de-emphasized a bit in favor of giving the more important words around it more of a boost. Overall great job!
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Marc Briggs.
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January 26, 2021 at 7:09 pm #62018
kevinwiland
ParticipantHi all, please let me know what you think of this recording of “9 Planets”. Thanks for your feedback!
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January 27, 2021 at 11:43 am #62047
Official81
ParticipantHi Kevin! Nice read! If you just want an opinion on the read it was great you did well at maintaining your pitch. I agree with Alexis you souned far away from your mic which is something easily corrected. I just found out yesterday that i was talking into the wrong part of my mic and instructed on how to correct it. So I know that the position of your mic is detrimental to the overall audio. But definately an easy fix. Great Job.
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January 26, 2021 at 8:15 pm #62023
AlexisVO
ParticipantHi Kevin, I like your read of the script. I thought you started out with a good energy level and kept that going, and the pace was good. In terms of sound quality, you sounded far away from the mic and I feel like I didn’t fully hear the range of your voice.
I noticed that the script talks about 9 planets…R.I.P. Pluto, you’ll always be #9 to me! 🙂
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