Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #61791
    JohnFinn
    Participant

    Hello everyone! Just a practice training script, any and all feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

    Sadly, too many times people with back and neck pain get a prescription of disability when they go to the doctor. “Don’t play tennis. Don’t play golf. Don’t go fishing.” While a day of rest may be okay right after an injury, the best therapy for back pain is movement. In fact, too much rest can make muscles and tendons less flexible – and more prone to future recurrent strain and back pain. Fact: You need a 20 minute walk to counter the effects of three hours of lying down. How would you know this? You’d learn that and more by reading our free 16-page Back to Life Journal. The Journal provides tips for those with back pain on how to get back to tennis, back to golf, or back to biking. Download your copy of the Back to Life Journal at NorthJerseySpineGroup.com.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by JohnFinn. Reason: edit to add script
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    • #61821
      mlanham
      Participant

      Hi John. Love your voice. I thought that it would be better less robotic and ore human sounding. Your tone is fantastic. Just a thought. Michele

    • #61812
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi John, very nice! Very good clarity and nice variation of tone throughout. I like how no-nonsense and informative the read was. A tiny little critique is that I did not hear any pause after “…and tendons less flexible -“, which would emphasize that more rest may not be a good thing. Other than that, it sounded really good! Keep it up!

      Mary

      • #61852
        JohnFinn
        Participant

        Thanks everyone, will practice those suggestions!

    • #61800
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hello there Mr John Finn! Fantastic read, I really enjoyed it, you’re a pro! I don’t have much to critique, nice work!

  • #61778
    kevinwiland
    Participant

    Hello again,

    Any/all feedback is welcome!! Right now, I am just working on my technique. Please ignore any recording software issues.

    Script: The Library of Congress was established by an act of Congress in 1800 when President John Adams signed a bill providing for the transfer of the seat of government from Philadelphia to the new capital city of Washington. It was housed in the new Capitol until August 1814, when invading British troops set fire to the Capitol Building, burning and pillaging the contents of the small library. Within a month, retired President Thomas Jefferson offered his personal library as a replacement. Jefferson had spent 50 years accumulating books and his library was considered to be one of the finest in the United States.

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    • #61813
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kevin, Good work! I like the pacing, clarity and varied emphasis on key words throughout the script. It is informative and pleasant. Good job on this!

      Mary

    • #61801
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hi there Kevin! I like your tone and warmth as you narrate I think you would be great for something like eLearning because of your upbeat and friendly sound. I agree with Mitch. The issue with the “act” word is that you are using a glottal stop. This is when your throat completely closes at the back where your “glottis” is, and then you have a harsh onset of the next word – particularly when it begins with a vowel. I used to get tripped up on “a” words all the time. Work on smoothing out your read by eliminating glottal stops. Nice work though 🙂 Hope this tip is helpful!

    • #61786
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Sounds great, Kevin! Love the tempo and the upbeat narration. One thing that stood out as a correction would perhaps be the overemphasis of the word “act”.

  • #61771
    Hulykulani
    Participant

    Hello all!

    Here is one of my last uploads before I record my commercial demo reel! Let me know what you think (I finally created a DIY VO booth in my closet so there isn’t any awful echo or reverb on my reads! Here are the scripts for the 3 products:

    Sandals Resorts – Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.

    Honey Bunches of Oats – It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.

    Ziploc – Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.

    Hope you enjoy!

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    • #61814
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Hulykulani! Good job on these 3 scripts – good pacing and energy for all of them, and good emphasis on key words.
      On Script 2 the tone raised at the end of the sentence as if a question instead of a period on “With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats.” Minor thing. Good job here!

      Mary

  • #61761
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins to help with getting into the proper mood and sounding concerned but conversational on this one. Let me know if those points were hit, or any other feedback. Thank you!

    Mary

    Psoriasis

    If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare, but have been putting off seeing your dermatologist, it’s time to get the care you need, because psoriasis isn’t just a skin condition. Those itchy flaky red patches you see on the outside could be a sign of inflammation on the inside. Talk to your dermatologist about the impact of untreated psoriasis, and how they can see you safely to help get your symptoms under control. Schedule an appointment with your dermatologist today at psoriasis.com

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    • #61787
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Mary! This is a great script for your voice. The overall tone is definitively concerned, and if this were the actual commercial it would be completely believable! If I’m listening as though you are talking conversationally directly to me, it still seems a bit stiff (‘If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare’). But I think the issue is the copy, not the delivery. Know what I mean? A conversation to a friend would be, “Hey, if you’re having a psoriasis flare, you should really go see your dermatologist.” So, it’s not that you don’t sound conversational; it’s that the script is clunky. Good lead in (short and quick and germane)!

      • #61807
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Mitch, thanks for the feedback! I agree about some of the script being stiff, and I like your suggestion about rewriting parts of it to make it more of a conversation you would actually have with a friend or maybe a relative that you don’t see often enough to know if they are taking care of themselves or not. It’s fun to do lead-ins; it has really helped me to hone in on the specific intended audience. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #61757
    kevinwiland
    Participant

    Hi everyone,
    This is my first post in the forum. I am a beginner and am in the Edge Studio program. All feedback is welcome.

      Script:

    Aetna/US Healthcare
    No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by kevinwiland.
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    • #61763
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kevin, welcome!

      I like your tone, pacing and clarity. You did a good job of emphasizing the product / brand and the energy level was good. It sounded nice and conversational. Good job!

      Mary

  • #61741
    svenbot5000
    Participant

    Hi everyone! Just doing another quick read for you all. Any feedback is appreciated!

    Carnation Breakfast Essentials

    Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.

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    • #61764
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Svenbot, good read! I heard a tiny pause after “…we nourish them” and also after “Because today” where there was no comma. It might flow better and make more sense if those pauses were removed in my opinion. I liked the emphasis on “Carnation Breakfast Essentials”. Overall very good! I am being picky.

      Mary

  • #61728
    irvj
    Participant

    Hello all!! Trying to get into the promo groove here. I welcome all feedback! Thanks!

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    • #61855
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hello irvj, Wow, amazing base and resonance to your voice–I feel it in my sternum like a base drum! Wonderful, relaxed read–very promotional without once feeling “announcer-y”. Keep up the amazing work!

    • #61789
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      WoW! You voice is a gift! Keep using it!

    • #61783
      Maci Roberts
      Participant

      I loved your read, the tone of your voice is very calm and relaxing. It made me pay attention to what you were saying because you were so sure of yourself. I thought the ending sentence “tap the banner to learn more” could have been sped up a tad, but otherwise it was perfect for me. Great Job!

      • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Maci Roberts.
    • #61770
      irvj
      Participant

      Thanks for the feedback. I’ll give it another shot and change that pace. Thanks guys!

    • #61766
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Irvj – wow, very nice! Your voice is so nice, deep, warm and so pleasant! Your voice is really well-suited for this genre. Emphasizing and slowing down over “skip through until you find” would help the listener understand why the featured product “Premium” will be such an upgrade to what they have now. Very good job!

      Mary

    • #61740
      svenbot5000
      Participant

      Nice read! I think your voice is perfect for this ad. I would slow down just a tad when you say, “Skip through until you find”, so that the words don’t roll into each other if that makes sense.

  • #61715
    Mitch_Crawford
    Participant

    Hey there! Imma try this a second time! First time I’ve posted a demo here; looking forward to any critique. You won’t hurt my feelings.

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    • #61861
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Mitch, Welcome and congratulations on your first demo post! I like the quality of your read very much, has a nice conversational ease to it that lends itself well to the client. On a technical note, you might dial your music levels back a bit as I feel your read is fighting to be heard over it (I second Lexi’s comment that you sound a bit removed from the mic). All in all, easy fixes! Keep up the great work!

      • #62395
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Thank you, Rogue1! Yes, I’ve brought my voice closer to the mic and it is making a difference in quality. Now need to soundproof my area! Thanks for your comments.

    • #61767
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Mitch, welcome!

      Good job! I liked the energy, clarity and pacing. “Turn the trip you have to take…” sounded like “Turn the trip ya have to take..”; not sure if the “ya” was intentional, but just a small note to consider. Otherwise very good! Your voice sounds good for this genre. Keep it up!

      Mary

      • #61788
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Unintentional! I didn’t even notice it; thanks for pointing it out. I wonder if it would sound more choppy with “you”. I’ll give it a try. Thanks Mary!

        • #61806
          mkell755
          Participant

          I completely understand. It sounds more natural to say “the trip ya have to take” vs/ “you have to take”, definitely. I get the criticism that I say “ta” instead of “to” and “fer” instead of “for”, and it’s difficult to say in some scripts! Someone here posted a while back that they substitute 2 for to, and 4 for for in the scripts as they read them as a reminder, and I have started doing that too; really draws your focus to those tiny pesky connector words as you are performing the script! 🙂

    • #61724
      Official81
      Participant

      Mitch this was awesome! The read and music were on point. Your vocal audio sounds like you are in a small empty space, maybe a little far away. Not sure if that could be edited out or not. Other than that this was amazing!

      • #61725
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Thanks Lexi–you are WAY too kind! I probably need to be closer to my microphone. I have a decent one with a pop filter, but no real “studio” per se. Baby steps! 🙂

        • #61877
          Official81
          Participant

          Hello Mitch I actually built a PVC studio with moving blankets for sound dampening and it works well check out the Show off your studio forum I posted a picture of it. It was very cost effective for me and I can always upgrade later. Great luck to you!

    • #61718
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Music clip from http://www.BenSound.com

  • #61712
    Official81
    Participant

    Hello All! It’s Lexi and I am currently en route to recrding my Commercial Demo which I am super excited about!! Whoo hoo! So please let me know how I sound here in this PSA from our script library. Audio Chain used PCV Booth w/ moving blankets, NT-1 A w/ pop filter, PC, DAW Audacity, Scarlett 2i2 Interface. I also did some very minor edits on the original audio (Noise profile>Noise reduction>normalize) Audacity default settings are what i used to reduce the noise and normalize this audio.

    Scripting

    Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family – this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security Income benefits.

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    • #61768
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Lexi, great job! I really like your deep, clear and richly-textured voice. It sounds warm and reassuring and this is a great genre for you. I’m not fully set up in my studio, but I heard a breath taken at the very beginning and again before “This presentation…”, perhaps those could be edited out. I agree with Kevin about your pronunciation of Social in that it could be a little crisper / clearer each time it is said. Otherwise really good job!

      Mary

      • #61879
        Official81
        Participant

        Hello Mary! And always thank you for your feedback! I am currently in the infancy stages of editing and will be taking Audacity 101 this evening. Lol I’m sure I will be able to produce better sound quality afterwards. Really excited about all this, so thank you again please keep me on point!

    • #61754
      kevinwiland
      Participant

      Hello Lexi! I am a beginner, so please take my feedback with a grain of salt. =)
      I really like the warmth to your voice. My favorite part was, “this video is for and about you.” It really drew me in the way you emphasized “you.”
      I was a little bothered by your pronunciation of “Social”. It sounds like “Soh-sul” instead of “Soh-sh-ul”, with an “sh” sound.
      Otherwise, nice job!

      • #61882
        Official81
        Participant

        Hello Kevin! And welcome fellow beginner! I too am in my beginnings, but THANK YOU for your feedback! I greatly appreciate every response that I get from an newbie or a more advanced artist. I believe the ‘sh’ is the sibilant as IRVJ informed me of. And I think that can be edited out. I will keep working with everyone’s help here! Thank you!

    • #61726
      irvj
      Participant

      Good job! I like the read, pace and tone were on point. You might have to play with the Audacity settings a bit, sounded as if you were speaking into a can and there was also a bit of sibilance, (which I struggle with). You also might want to remove some breaths either manually or via a noise gate. The read was good, just need to tweak your settings. Keep it up!

      • #61878
        Official81
        Participant

        Hiya IRVJ! Thanks so much for your guidance I will definitely check into sibilance and ways to correct that. I am taking the Audacity 101 this evening so I hope to have a better understanding of calibrating Audacity and my interface for the best audio. Thank you so much! Note taken.

    • #61717
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Lexi! I particularly like your voice at the end of the first three sentences when its pitch goes lower. Tempo seems on point. Nice read!

      • #61719
        Official81
        Participant

        THank you Mitch! I wasn’t sure if I should have recorded this in a faster tempo or not. And I will definately keep in mind that lowering my pitch can be helpful.

  • #61689
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on lead-ins and attempting to sound casual and conversational. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Mary

    Balance Bar

    Running for a train…or training for a run…
    Find your Balance. Every delicious Balance Bar gives you the perfect 40-30-30 ratio of carbs, protein, and dietary fat……for energy that lasts. Balance Bar. Have you found your Balance?

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    • #61720
      Official81
      Participant

      Hello Mary I love this read you did a wonderful job sounding casual and conversational! I would have liked the tmpo to be a hair faster just to make it sound even more conversational.

      • #61760
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Official81! I’m glad it came across as casual and conversational, and I will work on the speed. Thanks!

        Mary

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