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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi there! Just a couple of practice reads for narration. The one I have posted before for the women’s documentary going on my demo and the second is for an internet video! Thought I would post the 2 different types of reads.
The women’s doc is straightforward, factual
The internet one is hopefully friendly upbeat and conversational -
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Hello all,
Working on a guided meditation bit to add to my demo. Let me know what you think. (I’m not worried about the background clacks/noises)
Thanks!
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Find a quiet place in which to take a comfortable seat
Sit up tall and close your eyes
Breathe patiently and fully, yet gently and quietly
In and out through your noseGive yourself permission to do nothing
Give yourself permission to embrace this moment of stillness
There’s nothing at all that needs to be done
Other than staying here, relatively still, watching the breath—
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Hi Jason, good work! I liked the phrasing for all of the lines except for “…moment of stillness” and “…needs to be done”. The rest of the lines ended in a lower tone, but those two not as much (they kindof lilted up at the ends); just felt like all of the lines / commands should end with a downward tone to keep the relaxed vibe of the entire script. Good work on this one!
Mary
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Hello everyone! I hope February is kind to you.
Here are a few narration homework scripts for review and feedback. I very much appreciate the help!
All the best,
John
Door County Fish Boil
Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.AETNA
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you.Advance Technology Inc.
Welcome to Advance Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.-
Hey, John. Your performance on the Aetna piece is my favorite. You inflection/intonation are more subtle (with the exception of “That’s why Aetna and”) and don’t distract me from the script. The fish boil imagery is quite good too. I think you are much too enthusiastic on the Advanced Technology piece and would suggest a tone closer to the Aetna piece would work better. It’s okay to be less perfect with your articulation too; at times it sounds a little too polished and loses some authenticity. Nice work. Bill A.
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Hi all,
Just practicing for my commercial demo record next week – I’m trying to focus on sounding casual and friendly while still keeping some youthful professionalism and being specific with my choices. I definitely got tripped up on a few words in this read (which i just pulled from the script library), but would love any and all feedback, thank you!!
WeeLearn
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
Weelearn – learning through watching.-
Hey there! Nice read! I think the only part that stood out to me was near the end:
“. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.” I think this sentence was a little bit fast, if you could give these concepts a little more attention “videos broken up into digestible parts” ironically I felt I needed a little time to digest those words in my brain lol
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything!
And I think this list was read a little fast as well, remember to give each item of the list a slightly different feel.Other than that I thought this was great! 🙂
Katelyn
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Hey, wow! That was a read with no cuts or edits, am I right? That was amazing for a full-take! You sound very clear, articulate, and easy to understand. I saw that you were working on casual/friendly. You chose a great script for this purpose. I think you could go in a more friendly/smiley for this read in particular. I think if the person you are talking to is looking for guidance in trying to improve something about their health and mental well-being, they are also probably a little apprehensive. So if putting on a fake smile feels, well, fake, maybe a smile of reassurance–“I’ve been in your shoes, it’s going to be ok” might be a different way to find that casual/friendly character. It was great to hear you!!
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Hi Everyone! I’m brand new here and starting to build towards a Commercial demo reel. I’m looking forward to seeing all the ways in which I can improve. Thanks!
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I really liked this read! Especially the little chuckle you gave before you said “indulgent” – it went a long way to make you feel authentic and casual. My one piece of feedback would be I think you could shorten your pauses between sentences and after commas just a tiny bit and it would help the flow of the whole piece.
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I really love your voice/accent and delivery but I honestly couldn’t really focus on your beautiful performance because of your overuse of a noise gate. You can’t mask ambient noise with a noise gate, you need to treat the area to properly with sound-absorbing panels or an isolation booth. So I wouldn’t worry about trying to mask the noise in your recordings here because it is a place for practice. Take time to properly treat your space for noise so when you are recording at a professional level you don’t need the noise gate anyways.
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I think you come across as friendly, neighborly, conversational; however, you emphasize the product name too much at the beginning. Ease up on “Ivory” in that line and you’ve got it. Nitpick: your performance ends at :20 but the file continues playing until 2:46. Be sure to delete the extra silence before submitting. Thanks for sharing. Love the accent, by the way. Bill A.
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Hi there! I’m working with Edge to put together my voiceover demo and would love some feedback on this copy as a potential demo option. We’re going for “young professional” to provide some contrast to my other copy, which is a bit more youthful, fun, and girly. I want to make sure I’m communicating the professionalism without losing the youthful edge and I’m especially working on making sure my read sounds like I’m talking to another person and not just reading. Any thoughts would be much appreciated! I am looking for performance feedback only. Thanks all!
Here’s the copy:
“I used to run low on cash right before payday and not be able to do anything, but now that I’m banking with Chime, I get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Plus, Chime helps me grow my savings automatically and, unlike the place I used to bank, Chime doesn’t charge me a bunch of crazy fees. I’d be crazy to go back.”-
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Not having your other pieces as points of comparison, I think you’ve got a contender with this one. Love the tone and think you do come across as a young professional. Consider who she is talking to in this situation and the balance of youthful/girly and serious/professional would change a bit. For example, is she having a water cooler chat with a young man who was hired recently and whom she doesn’t know well OR is she chatting with her mom (or best friend) over coffee and trying to show her how independent/grown up she is becoming. Might be good practice to try each and compare. Anyway, I like your performance here in and of itself. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Would love some feedback on this audiobook I auditioned for. I’ve had success in just about every facet of VO work but just can’t seem to crack the nut that is audiobooks.
Script:Dennis begins to look through the hotel register and noticed an inordinately large number of comps. He began writing down the names and addresses of every guest that received any comp. It wasn’t even 8 in the morning yet and the office was empty. The phone rang and it startled him.
“Hello”
“Could I speak to Dennis Gomes?”
“Speaking”
“Hey, Dennis this is Officer Jacobs from the Chicago Organized Crime unit. We met at the L.E.I.U. convention.”
“Right. How are you? What can I do for you?”
“I’m good thanks. I was hoping to check with you regarding our good friend, Tony Spilotro tosee what he’s been up to.”
“Spilotro has a gift shop he runs at the Circus Circus under a different name, but other than that, he’s been keeping a pretty low profile.”
“If you see or hear anything about him, could you let me know?” “Sure. No problem. Is something going on?”
“We’re just working on a m****r case involving him here in Chicago.” Dennis said, “I’ll check in on him for you and will get back to you.”
“Thanks, man. And, hey, keep in mind, Spilotro is not the type to keep a low profile. He’s demented, a real loose canon.”
Dennis hung up the phone. The day hadn’t even officially started, but he was back in the action.
Within an hour Dennis had Dick, Rich, and Duane neck-deep in the Aladdin’s hotel log. Before the magnifying glasses were even out, the red flags began turning up. The three Detroit applicants who had been denied licenses because of their mob ties, had been fully comped at the Alladin, on numerous occasions, for stays lasting up to three weeks. In addition, James Tamer and Phil Peters, both known mobsters, had been comped. In addition, t the soldiers and lieutenants of James “Jimmy” Michaels and John Vitale’s orgainized crime families had also been catered to and fully comped. These were not just little fish or associates of someone, they were made members of the Michaels and Vitale organized crime families.
The rush was coming back for Dennis. He was gathering photos and information on the Detroit and St. Louis mafia so that when he engaged in his planned undercover surveillance, he would know who to look for. He zoned in on James Michaels, Sr., “Horseshoe Jimmy” as he was once known as, who cut his teeth with the Cuckoos Gang. His criminal career began at an early age Hearrested at just 19 years old for the robbery of the Illinois Central Freight Depot. He subsequently jumped bond but was captured a year later and sentenced to ten years to life. He was briefly released, but arrested again for a series of gangland killings; for which he was never convicted. He served 13 years for the robbery, was released and quickly found his way back to his criminal ways. He worked his way up to Capo of the Syrian faction of the St. Louis mob and wielded a great deal of control over the St. Louis labor unions. Dennis found a picture of old Horseshoe, now close to 70. He had a full head of white hair, coal black beady eyes and a chewed up cigar holding up his lips. His face was twisted into a scowl which Dennis thought made
him look like one mean son of a b***h. Even though he was in his late 60’s Dennis could tell he was tough.-
Moose, I could listen to you narrate books like this. Steady pacing, pleasing intonation, articulate but relaxed. Excellent sound quality and editing. Seemed like you got mixed up in the character dialogue and voiced Dennis as officer Jacobs once. Maybe not. You might be trying too hard to voice the characters differently. I’ve heard some audiobook pros say this is not sustainable over the long haul and not really necessary. The differences can be more subtle than they are in this performance. Now, I’ve only narrated one novel myself, so I don’t know if this is advice worth considering. Regardless, characters make fiction a much more challenging genre, so I’ve focused more on non-fiction auditions and have booked quite a few. Also, not sure why you’d want to pursue long-form narration if you’ve been successful with the more lucrative work. Money must not be the issue? Perhaps you love telling stories. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Very brief clip for a real estate video featuring a new high-end development. It might be a little fast as I was told to keep it to 15 seconds. Feedback appreciated as always! Thank you. (multiple files attached by accident – they’re the same – don’t know how to delete)
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Really like your voice and your read for this. And really fantastic audio quality! I like you pace, inflection, all of it…with that kind of script writing, it’s hard not to make a bigger deal out of it, so you really show mastery in subtle interpretation. I don’t know how important the architects names would be, probably not very, but if they were an important selling point or if their architectural style would be explained further, I would need to hear the firm’s name a little more clearly. Fabulous job!
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I didn’t think it was too fast at all! I think you have a really warm and versatile voice, and did a great job lifting up important words and using imagery. I would say perhaps try to make the first sentence, where you’re announcing what’s for sale, a little more distinct from the second sentence, as they sorta ran together in tone and tempo. Also, a super small thing, but you’re dropping in volume and energy at the ends of your sentences, so I think maintaining that energy right to the last word would really help!
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More practice for a narration/documentary demo would love your feedback! Thanks all
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
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Your voice really does fit for this type of read, you sound knowledgable but approachable and warm! I agree with Bill that I think your pauses at commas are interrupting the flow of your sentences, and making it sound a bit unnatural, and actually making the listener have to work harder to understand the piece as a whole.
One other piece of feedback I have is that perhaps the list in the first sentence could afford a little more specificity in each item – how are blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, and soft meadows different from one another? -
Hey, I love the script choice for your voice. You have such a warm, relaxed, friendly tone which seems like a great fit for long-form documentary. I would suggest you don’t add such long pauses within the sentences. Pauses between are fine but you pause much too often and long within sentences, which I find distracting. I think it makes your performance more noticeable, like you are pushing your interpretation on me, rather than letting me enjoy the phrasing as written by the author. (The producer/editor can add pauses to time your narration with visuals if necessary.) Small thing but in an audition I think it would make a difference. Otherwise, love the tone! Bill A.
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