Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #62461
    mravenel
    Participant

    More practice for a narration/documentary demo would love your feedback! Thanks all

    Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62476
      [email protected]
      Participant

      Your voice really does fit for this type of read, you sound knowledgable but approachable and warm! I agree with Bill that I think your pauses at commas are interrupting the flow of your sentences, and making it sound a bit unnatural, and actually making the listener have to work harder to understand the piece as a whole.
      One other piece of feedback I have is that perhaps the list in the first sentence could afford a little more specificity in each item – how are blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, and soft meadows different from one another?

    • #62466
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      Hey, I love the script choice for your voice. You have such a warm, relaxed, friendly tone which seems like a great fit for long-form documentary. I would suggest you don’t add such long pauses within the sentences. Pauses between are fine but you pause much too often and long within sentences, which I find distracting. I think it makes your performance more noticeable, like you are pushing your interpretation on me, rather than letting me enjoy the phrasing as written by the author. (The producer/editor can add pauses to time your narration with visuals if necessary.) Small thing but in an audition I think it would make a difference. Otherwise, love the tone! Bill A.

      • #62478
        mravenel
        Participant

        Thank you both for the great feedback once you both pointed out the pausing it did sound like I was being overly dramatic.
        Appreciate it,
        M

  • #62449
    danielh04
    Participant

    Hello everyone, glad I can share some practice recordings with you all as I’m starting my work towards a commercial demo.
    Here are two scripts that I used from Edge Studio script library.

    Crayola Color Wonder Markers:
    “Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often…in more places…with less mess. Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.”

    Spotify:
    “With Spotify, it’s easy to find the right music for every moment – on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. There are millions of tracks on Spotify. So whether you’re working out, partying or relaxing, the right music is always at your fingertips. Soundtrack your life with Spotify. Subscribe or listen for free.”

    Can’t wait to hear your feedback!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62479
      dkosoy
      Participant

      Hi Daniel! I can hear a smooth voice! Good choices! In my opinion, these reads are too laid back. More energy and intention would be good. In the second clip, in a couple places in the latter half of the read, some consonants are getting lost. Enunciation would help. The overall effect may be exaggerated by the fact that the volume level is quite low. As I was once advised, bring up the gain levels in your recording system as much as possible (without causing distortion). You can take volume away later, if need be. Looking forward to hearing more.

      • #62535
        PrettyLoud
        Participant

        What I liked about the Spotify read was that you really went with a non-hard sell approach…It had some genius moments of really not trying overly hard, which is, “a Gen Z or Millennial read”. It doesn’t work for everything, by all means, but if it’s your natural voice and character, it comes off as sincerely “I’m not selling this to you…it’s just obviously the best thing out there.” That being said, I think ending tagline, and some choice phrases could use a bit more “This is some cool sh*t” vibe.
        Crayola is probably harder for your voice type to sell. 99% of the time, this script would go to a mom-sounding woman. But things are always changing in marketing, and obviously dads take care of kids and house-cleaning too. How would you read it differently if you were talking to a fellow dad, or if you were talking to a small group of elementary school teachers? I love that you’re exploring all the avenues your voice can go in. Keep up the good work–your voice is selling to a key demographic these days!

  • #62444
    Official81
    Participant

    Hello hello! Just dropping a character commercial from the script library wanted some feedback.

    We don’t cotton to your kind coming around here, Mr. Big City Hypnotist! Always waving your watch in front of other people’s faces, snapping your fingers, and expecting folks to be doing things you tell them to do. It just ain’t right!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62463
      mravenel
      Participant

      Really good… great if this were an audition submit both takes… you have range and both are so different great acting to be able to change it up awesome character read.

    • #62452
      danielh04
      Participant

      Hello! Just wanted to say that you’re voice is great and it was so fun to listen to the character speak. I think the tone and the way of talking for the character is great, but perhaps it would be a little bit better to slow down your pace. Clearly in both takes you can tell the difference since the second take is much more aggressive and a little bit faster.

    • #62447
      Official81
      Participant

      Sorry I meant to attach both takes.

      Attachments:
      You must be logged in to view attached files.
      • #62536
        PrettyLoud
        Participant

        Love this!! Amazing contrast between the 2 takes!! Love that! I think what the quieter, less-assertive character lacked that the louder character had in spades, was emotional specificity. It seemed like she didn’t feel anything in particular toward Mr. Hypnotist…I loved that she was sweeter, but I think she could let out her annoyance more to help carry the story. Thank you for these delightful takes–what a talent!!

      • #62481
        dkosoy
        Participant

        Hi Official81! Great voice. Good character creation. I preferred the second take. I felt you were more confident about your read. Also, minor note, but in the first take there was what sounded like a brief over-amplification at the word “Always”, as if maybe you suddenly got closer to your mic. Nice work!

  • #62440
    chas82
    Participant

    Hello all – The feedback has been VERY helpful and I am trying to work it into each subsequent performance.

    These are today’s homework as I work toward my Commercial demo. I’m also trying to apply what I am learning about how to use the new graphic EQ control in Audacity.

    All feedback welcomed, as always. Chas

    Popeye’s Chicken
    Got a cravin’ for Cajun? Come along for some New Orleans style fried chicken, cajun battered fries, and buttermilk biscuits. Love that chicken at Popeye’s.

    Campbells Chunky Chili
    Introducing Campbell’s Chunky Chili with Beans – four delicious, hearty varieties loaded with succulent, seasoned meat. It’s the perfect pre-game warm-up.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by chas82.
    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62480
      dkosoy
      Participant

      Hey Chas! These are really nice improvements from the last versions I heard. The Popeye’s sounded good so I will only nitpick the recording. There’s a definite click at the end that you’ll want to remove, and just before you start I hear a trace of an inhale or something. I’m learning Audacity also and I’ve found the “button” that removes absolutely all signal from any selected segment very helpful. On the Campbell’s, also very good, although the way you say “succulent, seasoned”, while showing good variation in tone, doesn’t seem to fit. Perhaps you slowed down just a little too much? Anyway, overall, significantly better reads! Good luck with the demo!

    • #62453
      danielh04
      Participant

      At first I thought that the recordings weren’t real, but it’s amazing that it is your voice! I think the pacing was pretty good, and you enunciated your words well, so those things are always important!

  • #62399
    BrianWigginsVO
    Participant

    Could use some feedback on this audition.
    Client brief: strong, warm inviting, real, authentic, anthemic sounding. (Was asked to attempt to “match the read and performance…as much as possible” in this sample video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAk1mY71SaY
    Script:
    We will always face challenges. The only constant we face is change

    This is the nature of the world around us.

    But nothing replaces the need for safety and security,

    and a proven solution to your needs is what we strive for.

    We bring clarity,

    We bring safety,

    We bring focus.

    Our reliable and secure camera technologies and innovations lead the industry in safeguarding you, your businesses, and your assets.

    Pelco provides solutions to every situation, because challenges will continue to change.

    It is the nature of our world.

    But property is valuable.

    Safety is important.

    And life is too precious to trust to anyone else.

    Put your business in focus.

    More Powerful, More Pelco

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62460
      mravenel
      Participant

      Hey Brian, I think it is warm and similar in vibe and tone to the reference video… I would really hit a little harder (safeguarding you, your businesses, and your assets.) Also the tagline at the end (More Powerful, More Pelco) could be a little stronger. Good Luck!! You got this! Marty R.

    • #62404
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      Hey, this is a good take but I think it’s missing some of the rousing quality asked for in the audition notes. I hear moments of it here but overall it could be stronger, more confident, more reassuring. You sound slightly unsure or tentative to me. A couple spots where you deliver the requested tone: “to your needs is what we strive for” and “we bring focus” and “put your business in focus.” Needs more of this. Also, be careful with pitch/intonation. I would keep your range even more narrow. It jumps too much in places, such as “the only constant we face…” Control is essential for this one, I think…a narrow range. Listen to the YouTube example and your own to note the difference with regard to this quality. Nitpick: there should be no delay when I click the play button, no silence at the start. Good luck. Bill A.

  • #62370
    jay.triggs
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    Here is another read I did for some practice today. Let me know how ya’ll feels about it.

    Thanks

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62389
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Jay! Nice read…you have a pleasant voice! Two things I noticed, first, I get stuck on your pronunciation of the word important…it seems too long or something! Not sure what it is. Your enunciation is really good throughout, but maybe TOO good on that one word! I think I’m used to hearing it slurred a little…like…’importnnt’ instead of ‘impor-tant’. Probably just a ‘me’ thing. Also, at the end, “fish, ducks, frogs, and other creatures.” Lists are one thing I’m working on, trying to change my tone a bit on different words, so it doesn’t just sound like a slightly monotonous checklist of things. This was really a good read; those are just two things I noticed. 🙂

  • #62366
    jay.triggs
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    Here is my first upload to the forums. Please let let me know any feedback you may have.

    Thanks in advance!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62390
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Jay! I really like the enunciation of your words. Solid first upload! Great voice for a theater announcement.

  • #62356
    Erik B
    Participant

    Hi everybody. Please feel free to provide feedback on my performance and recording quality. Thank you.

    Clem the Prospector

    Howdy folks, Clem the old prospector here to tell you how you can strike it rich, and you don’t even need a pick and shovel, all you need is a new Quick Pick from the Nebraska Lottery. With 6 chances to win, odds are you’ll do better than me diggin in this old mountain here. The new Quick Pick, from the Nebraska Lottery.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62391
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Erik! I really like this read! I would love to hear it again, keeping all your S’s like the old proSH-pector would say them as you did with the phrase “…SHtrak it rich…”

    • #62368
      jay.triggs
      Participant

      Hi Erik, Loved the recording, great use of your voice and levels, I do agree with dkosoy that you have a stronger accent with some of the words more than others. Overall 9/10 imo.

    • #62361
      dkosoy
      Participant

      Hi Erik. I liked this! You have a very good voice. Recording quality was good as well. You lose the accent here and there and on certain words, so continue to work on that perhaps, maybe thinking about staying “in character” throughout. Good work!

  • #62332
    dkosoy
    Participant

    One more post, then I’m calling it a night! With the benefit of great feedback, I’ve redone the American Express ad (and posted it together with my first attempt). Hopefully, it’s a noticeable improvement. I’m sure there’s more room to improve, though, so please don’t hesitate to nitpick! Lol. 🙂 Thank you!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62392
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      YES! Much more relatable now. Nice upgrade on the AMEX commercial!

    • #62386
      John Trape
      Participant

      Yes, I noticed the difference as well. In my humble opinion, your first read comes across as a straightforward, non-interpreted reading of a script, while your second read brings that script to life and makes me feel, as a potential customer, that you really believe in the service that American Express provides. Very, very professional interpretation of a script! John

    • #62375
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      I noticed the difference and think it’s an improvement. Great example of how voice actors must decide who they are when they perform a script. Is this an entrepreneur? A celebrity? Knowing who you are helps you make choices when preparing a read. I like the grin/wink on “because my private information is my business.” Nice job. Bill A.

  • #62329
    dkosoy
    Participant

    Hi all. This time I’m trying an audiobook format. This is an excerpt from Jack London’s turn of the century (1902) short story, To Build A Fire. Feedback very much appreciated. It’s been very helpful!! Thank you!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #62374
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      I especially like your performance up to “…there must be no failure.” He is in a grave predicament and he’s trying to stay calm as he meticulously builds the fire. You convey this really well. The gravity of the situation becomes more clear as you go on with, “When it is seventy-five below zero, a man must not…to build a fire” but I think your inflection is off on this line. It is the main clause but you deliver it like you would a subordinate clause, and so loses the impact on the reader. If he doesn’t successfully start this fire, he will freeze to death. What could be more sobering than that! You get back to the original tone after this and it’s sooo good. Great pacing, by the way. You allow the images to form in the reader’s mind. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.

    • #62331
      dkosoy
      Participant

      Here’s the copy for the Jack London excerpt:

      To Build a Fire – Excerpt 2

      He worked slowly and carefully, keenly aware of his danger. Gradually, as the flame grew stronger, he increased the size of the twigs with which he fed it. He squatted in the snow, pulling the twigs out from their entanglement in the brush and feeding directly to the flame. He knew there must be no failure. When it is seventy- five below zero, a man must not fail in his first attempt to build a fire–that is, if his feet are wet. If his feet are dry, and he fails, he can run along the trail for half a mile and restore his circulation. But the circulation of wet and freezing feet cannot be restored by running when it is seventy-five below. No matter how fast he runs, the wet feet will freeze the harder.

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.