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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Radio spot for Delta Airlines… Any and all feedback appreciated. Thank you!
DELTA
WHEN WE’RE BORN. WE ARE MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT.
BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, WE START TO BELIEVE THE MORE DISTANT WE ARE FROM EACH OTHER….THE MORE DISTANT WE ARE.
ITS NOT UNTIL WE VENTURE INTO THE WORLD THAT WE SEE ALL WE SHARE.
MAYBE THATS THE POWER OF FLIGHT.
DELTA ISN’T JUST FLYING TO BRING US TOGETHER….BUT TO SHOW, WE WERE NEVER THAT FAR APART TO BEGIN WITH.-
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I enjoyed this as well. The tone and pace I felt was very controlled. Thank you for sharing. – Vincent
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Daniel, really enjoyed this performance. The folksy style is a good choice for a script about human connection, though I think this read would appeal to a more middle-class demographic. A more sophisticated/reserved read would connect with those who have the means to travel worldwide. One line you could deliver differently in this version would be “Maybe that’s the power of flight” and especially “maybe.” I enjoy your work. Bill A.
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Thanks Bill! Appreciate it. I love how you are able to hear and put a name on the style – folksy. You’re right on. Thank you! Although I could hear the style of inflection I was delivering, honestly, I wasn’t fully aware what I was doing was a folksy style. It’s really helpful for me to be able to identify it like that, so I can go back to it if I want to, or… avoid it, if I want something different. With your feedback I’m going to go back and try to record it with a more sophisticated/reserved read and see what I get. And if you have time, I would love to hear how you think the “maybe” would be best read. 🙂 Thanks tons! – Daniel
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Hey, Daniel.
Here’s my attempt at the more “sophisticated” sound I tried to describe in the previous post. Perhaps a bit too sleepy, LOL. A much narrower inflection range and a closer, in-your-ear distance are two techniques I use to appeal to this demographic. The pauses give some space for the visuals. What do you think?
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Trying a read for children, let me know what you think. Thanks in advance!
Children’s Educational Space Game:
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!-
I like the enthusiasm in this read for children. Nice job, John. See my comment about editing breaths in your next submission. Bill A.
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Hi Bill- Thanks for your feedback, I can hear it that way as well. I did silence and cut those areas, could it also be that the timing was cut too short?
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Another submission, looking for feedback on pace and tone. Thank you in advance!
Decoding N**i Secrets
By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe. H****r was tightening the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had a secret weapon, the strangest military establishment in the world. Crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British, all came here with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of the Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted would be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.-
I think this is a good documentary-style delivery. It would sound more natural and authentic though with the breaths, or at least the space for breaths, left in. By taking them all out and not replacing them with room tone, you’ve made this sound rather robotic, like it’s a synthesized voice. Why not just bring the volume of the breaths down with your editing software, if you are concerned about them distracting the listener. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Edit for correct script:
By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe and H****r began to tighten the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had an unusual secret weapon: crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British. They were recruited with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in a seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted could be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.
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Hello, hope everyone is well! Looking for feedback on my pace and tone as well as the style of read for this script. Thanks in advance!
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years. -
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Just practicing this script as a potential for my demo. Let me know any tips/feedback. Thank you guys!
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Beginner paddle boarders should choose a wider, longer and thicker board. This will offer the greatest stability to learn the paddle board basics on a flat body of water. As you gain experience, you can progress to a smaller paddle board. The most common board shape for beginners is an All-Around paddle board. However, there are a few different types and shapes of paddle boards to consider.
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Hello,
My Narration homework, first time recording with microphone system and posting, please comment. Thanks.-
Tmyers
My biggest critique is with your mic set up location. I was distracted by your background noise a lot during your read. My advice would be to find a isolated room in your place, put up some moving blankets as a start to create a better controlled sound space eliminating as much reverberation as possible. A really great mic can pick up any distracting sound in the background if the room you are recording in is not sound treated well. Think of your practice as a dress rehearsal for your client.
Sam
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Script
A smile or a tear has no nationality; joy and sorrow speak alike to all nations, and they, above all the confusion of tongues, proclaim the brotherhood of man. Frederick Douglass.
Just experimenting with bringing historical voices back to life. Maybe something you would hear on a tv documentary series.
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I agree with Jason. Your voice matches the power of these words really well. One small critique: I would rather you didn’t separate the word “brotherhood” from the phrase “of man” like you did in this take. Carry the “d” sound over to the next word (“of”) so you say what sounds like “dove man.” It would sound more natural this way. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Very powerful read here Samuel. I don’t have anything to say to help further the progress of this one. The pacing was great, the variance and delivery all hit the mark. Strong work.
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Hello All! This is narration homework . . . 3 Edge Scripts, different tones:
1). The Wonder Years (A warm, friendly, nostalgic story telling tone)
1968. I was 12 years old. A lot happened that year. There’s no pretty way to put this, I grew up in the suburbs. I guess most people think of the suburb as a place with all the disadvantages of the city, and none of the advantages of the country. And vice versa. But, in a way, those really were the wonder years for us. It was kind of a golden age for kids.
2). Recycling (A succinct PSA with a fun tone)
I don’t know about you, but I like our planet a lot! And one of the easiest ways we can help protect the Earth is by recycling. That’s where instead of throwing things like plastic in the trash, you put them in a special bin so they go to a kind of factory to be reused. You’ve probably recycled things like plastic bottles before. There might even be a recycling bin in the room you’re in right now! Recycling is important because it helps keep the Earth clean, especially from trash made of plastic.
3). Aetna-US Healthcare (Flat, straight forward “healthcare” read)
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you. -
Hi. Trying a different type of commercial – seems to be an ad for a local video rental outlet? Lol. Must be from a quite a few years ago!! 🙂 I think I’m going to benefit from feedback on this one! Thanks!
Daniel
Movie Gallery
Have you ever noticed what happens when you put in a movie? It’s amazing. You just stick it in, sit back, hit play and… gone. The rest of the world just disappears… At Movie Gallery, we have thousands of great movies. And every one of them is guaranteed to have that same magical power.-
Hey, Daniel. The key word in this one is “magic” and how easy it is to perform this simple trick to make your everyday problems disappear. You deliver with a tongue-in-cheek tone, especially when listing the steps to perform the trick: “stick it in, sit back…” and in the closing line where you guarantee the “magical power” with a slightly ho-hum tone. Now this flippant attitude is probably appropriate because it’s a rather ridiculous claim. BUT, I think the irony/humor might come across even more if you played this with sincerity, like a magician performing for a group of children and saying these words as he performs the trick. Imagine how that context would change your delivery? Silly? Of course, but we all want to believe in this magic, so speak to our romantic, childlike selves and let the logical self be d****d…for now. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Almost finished with my vocal booth build, so I’ll have more time for posting on here with continued practice and exploration of different copy! All comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and delivery. Thanks!
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
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