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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Thought I would share some practice work. I listened to the actual Silverado commercial and tried to deliver a similar performance. Going for the tough attitude without making it too overblown. My early attempts sounded more like imaging for a rock radio station. Perhaps I should have bought a Silverado myself, because I’ve gotten stuck three times in the past week in my F150 4×4. The snow here in WI is crazy deep this winter. Oh, I added some music and processing to the second clip for a more finished sound. Thanks for any feedback. Bill A.
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Hey, Bill! So, my brain just exploded, and now I’ll try to explain why. When I listened to your dry take everything up to the very last line sounded like one note – minimal inflection as dkosoy mentioned – and I had a difficult time following the text. And I listened to it five times. Five. And then I listened to it with music… and it all made perfect sense. And THAT I cannot explain. So what you have here is an expert case study. I’ve been taught for YEARS that you don’t have to over-inflect when there are visuals (especially in this kind of commercial), and I do that, but I’ve never really heard them side-by-side. The rhythm breaks the text up somehow enough to give it context. So… bravo for that! The only feedback I have is that I’d love to hear the “d”s in “advanced” and “and larger”. Thanks for posting!
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Hi Bill. This is really excellent! It’s hard to find things to comment on. If I’m searching for something, I’d say you use more vocal inflection in the final “The only truck that can compare…” than you do in the first ¾ of the script. That inflection in the punchline really conveys the message well. I do like the steadiness of the first part, however I think you could insert some of that emotion in a couple key spots earlier in the ad and I suspect it would work great. The audio track background is great and it definitely has a authentic finished sound. Looking forward to hearing more of your work!
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Hi all!
I have recently built my newest DIY soundbooth, and recorded two quick commercial reads and was hoping to get any and all critique and feedback! The reads were in my “normal everyday’ style voice, well at least an attempt at that lol. This is my first time using a condenser mic and a pre-amp as well, so if the audio quality is bad and it might be because I didn’t set the hardware up correctly, please let me know! 🙂
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Hi CptAmerica757! I like both reads and how you varied it up for each of them. I’m not fully setup to give feedback on recording quality, but the tone and pacing and clarity of the reads were very good and your voice is good for both genres. I feel like the second read for “We All Belong” sounded more authentic for you. Good job!
Mary
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Hey mkell755,
Thank you so much for your feedback! Sometimes i find myself over-thinking is my pacing too fast or slow/does it flow consistently, is the tone communicating the message of the script, and most importantly can all of my words be heard and understood lol. So seeing that note alleviated a lot of that anxiety!
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Hi there! Just a couple of practice reads for narration. The one I have posted before for the women’s documentary going on my demo and the second is for an internet video! Thought I would post the 2 different types of reads.
The women’s doc is straightforward, factual
The internet one is hopefully friendly upbeat and conversational -
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Hello all,
Working on a guided meditation bit to add to my demo. Let me know what you think. (I’m not worried about the background clacks/noises)
Thanks!
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Find a quiet place in which to take a comfortable seat
Sit up tall and close your eyes
Breathe patiently and fully, yet gently and quietly
In and out through your noseGive yourself permission to do nothing
Give yourself permission to embrace this moment of stillness
There’s nothing at all that needs to be done
Other than staying here, relatively still, watching the breath—
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Hi Jason, good work! I liked the phrasing for all of the lines except for “…moment of stillness” and “…needs to be done”. The rest of the lines ended in a lower tone, but those two not as much (they kindof lilted up at the ends); just felt like all of the lines / commands should end with a downward tone to keep the relaxed vibe of the entire script. Good work on this one!
Mary
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Hello everyone! I hope February is kind to you.
Here are a few narration homework scripts for review and feedback. I very much appreciate the help!
All the best,
John
Door County Fish Boil
Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.AETNA
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you.Advance Technology Inc.
Welcome to Advance Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.-
Hey, John. Your performance on the Aetna piece is my favorite. You inflection/intonation are more subtle (with the exception of “That’s why Aetna and”) and don’t distract me from the script. The fish boil imagery is quite good too. I think you are much too enthusiastic on the Advanced Technology piece and would suggest a tone closer to the Aetna piece would work better. It’s okay to be less perfect with your articulation too; at times it sounds a little too polished and loses some authenticity. Nice work. Bill A.
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Hi all,
Just practicing for my commercial demo record next week – I’m trying to focus on sounding casual and friendly while still keeping some youthful professionalism and being specific with my choices. I definitely got tripped up on a few words in this read (which i just pulled from the script library), but would love any and all feedback, thank you!!
WeeLearn
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
Weelearn – learning through watching.-
Hey there! Nice read! I think the only part that stood out to me was near the end:
“. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.” I think this sentence was a little bit fast, if you could give these concepts a little more attention “videos broken up into digestible parts” ironically I felt I needed a little time to digest those words in my brain lol
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything!
And I think this list was read a little fast as well, remember to give each item of the list a slightly different feel.Other than that I thought this was great! 🙂
Katelyn
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Hey, wow! That was a read with no cuts or edits, am I right? That was amazing for a full-take! You sound very clear, articulate, and easy to understand. I saw that you were working on casual/friendly. You chose a great script for this purpose. I think you could go in a more friendly/smiley for this read in particular. I think if the person you are talking to is looking for guidance in trying to improve something about their health and mental well-being, they are also probably a little apprehensive. So if putting on a fake smile feels, well, fake, maybe a smile of reassurance–“I’ve been in your shoes, it’s going to be ok” might be a different way to find that casual/friendly character. It was great to hear you!!
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Hi Everyone! I’m brand new here and starting to build towards a Commercial demo reel. I’m looking forward to seeing all the ways in which I can improve. Thanks!
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I really liked this read! Especially the little chuckle you gave before you said “indulgent” – it went a long way to make you feel authentic and casual. My one piece of feedback would be I think you could shorten your pauses between sentences and after commas just a tiny bit and it would help the flow of the whole piece.
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I really love your voice/accent and delivery but I honestly couldn’t really focus on your beautiful performance because of your overuse of a noise gate. You can’t mask ambient noise with a noise gate, you need to treat the area to properly with sound-absorbing panels or an isolation booth. So I wouldn’t worry about trying to mask the noise in your recordings here because it is a place for practice. Take time to properly treat your space for noise so when you are recording at a professional level you don’t need the noise gate anyways.
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I think you come across as friendly, neighborly, conversational; however, you emphasize the product name too much at the beginning. Ease up on “Ivory” in that line and you’ve got it. Nitpick: your performance ends at :20 but the file continues playing until 2:46. Be sure to delete the extra silence before submitting. Thanks for sharing. Love the accent, by the way. Bill A.
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Hi there! I’m working with Edge to put together my voiceover demo and would love some feedback on this copy as a potential demo option. We’re going for “young professional” to provide some contrast to my other copy, which is a bit more youthful, fun, and girly. I want to make sure I’m communicating the professionalism without losing the youthful edge and I’m especially working on making sure my read sounds like I’m talking to another person and not just reading. Any thoughts would be much appreciated! I am looking for performance feedback only. Thanks all!
Here’s the copy:
“I used to run low on cash right before payday and not be able to do anything, but now that I’m banking with Chime, I get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Plus, Chime helps me grow my savings automatically and, unlike the place I used to bank, Chime doesn’t charge me a bunch of crazy fees. I’d be crazy to go back.”-
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Not having your other pieces as points of comparison, I think you’ve got a contender with this one. Love the tone and think you do come across as a young professional. Consider who she is talking to in this situation and the balance of youthful/girly and serious/professional would change a bit. For example, is she having a water cooler chat with a young man who was hired recently and whom she doesn’t know well OR is she chatting with her mom (or best friend) over coffee and trying to show her how independent/grown up she is becoming. Might be good practice to try each and compare. Anyway, I like your performance here in and of itself. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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Would love some feedback on this audiobook I auditioned for. I’ve had success in just about every facet of VO work but just can’t seem to crack the nut that is audiobooks.
Script:Dennis begins to look through the hotel register and noticed an inordinately large number of comps. He began writing down the names and addresses of every guest that received any comp. It wasn’t even 8 in the morning yet and the office was empty. The phone rang and it startled him.
“Hello”
“Could I speak to Dennis Gomes?”
“Speaking”
“Hey, Dennis this is Officer Jacobs from the Chicago Organized Crime unit. We met at the L.E.I.U. convention.”
“Right. How are you? What can I do for you?”
“I’m good thanks. I was hoping to check with you regarding our good friend, Tony Spilotro tosee what he’s been up to.”
“Spilotro has a gift shop he runs at the Circus Circus under a different name, but other than that, he’s been keeping a pretty low profile.”
“If you see or hear anything about him, could you let me know?” “Sure. No problem. Is something going on?”
“We’re just working on a m****r case involving him here in Chicago.” Dennis said, “I’ll check in on him for you and will get back to you.”
“Thanks, man. And, hey, keep in mind, Spilotro is not the type to keep a low profile. He’s demented, a real loose canon.”
Dennis hung up the phone. The day hadn’t even officially started, but he was back in the action.
Within an hour Dennis had Dick, Rich, and Duane neck-deep in the Aladdin’s hotel log. Before the magnifying glasses were even out, the red flags began turning up. The three Detroit applicants who had been denied licenses because of their mob ties, had been fully comped at the Alladin, on numerous occasions, for stays lasting up to three weeks. In addition, James Tamer and Phil Peters, both known mobsters, had been comped. In addition, t the soldiers and lieutenants of James “Jimmy” Michaels and John Vitale’s orgainized crime families had also been catered to and fully comped. These were not just little fish or associates of someone, they were made members of the Michaels and Vitale organized crime families.
The rush was coming back for Dennis. He was gathering photos and information on the Detroit and St. Louis mafia so that when he engaged in his planned undercover surveillance, he would know who to look for. He zoned in on James Michaels, Sr., “Horseshoe Jimmy” as he was once known as, who cut his teeth with the Cuckoos Gang. His criminal career began at an early age Hearrested at just 19 years old for the robbery of the Illinois Central Freight Depot. He subsequently jumped bond but was captured a year later and sentenced to ten years to life. He was briefly released, but arrested again for a series of gangland killings; for which he was never convicted. He served 13 years for the robbery, was released and quickly found his way back to his criminal ways. He worked his way up to Capo of the Syrian faction of the St. Louis mob and wielded a great deal of control over the St. Louis labor unions. Dennis found a picture of old Horseshoe, now close to 70. He had a full head of white hair, coal black beady eyes and a chewed up cigar holding up his lips. His face was twisted into a scowl which Dennis thought made
him look like one mean son of a b***h. Even though he was in his late 60’s Dennis could tell he was tough.-
Moose, I could listen to you narrate books like this. Steady pacing, pleasing intonation, articulate but relaxed. Excellent sound quality and editing. Seemed like you got mixed up in the character dialogue and voiced Dennis as officer Jacobs once. Maybe not. You might be trying too hard to voice the characters differently. I’ve heard some audiobook pros say this is not sustainable over the long haul and not really necessary. The differences can be more subtle than they are in this performance. Now, I’ve only narrated one novel myself, so I don’t know if this is advice worth considering. Regardless, characters make fiction a much more challenging genre, so I’ve focused more on non-fiction auditions and have booked quite a few. Also, not sure why you’d want to pursue long-form narration if you’ve been successful with the more lucrative work. Money must not be the issue? Perhaps you love telling stories. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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