Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,047 replies, 724 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by
micpri53.
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
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February 11, 2021 at 7:54 pm #62888
TimDKietzman
ParticipantHey everyone, I’m still practicing and appreciate any feedback I can get. I think this script is unusual for me in that it’s about business. I’m still trying to perfect my strike zone of warmth and friendly. Does it sound like that to you? Is it fitting for this script?
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.Attachments:
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February 11, 2021 at 3:55 pm #62873
Toque
ParticipantHi all! Posting another practice script. Appreciate any feedback on all aspects. Also, does this sort of job suit my voice? What do you think my voice might be best suited for? Don’t be shy…I have thick skin 🙂 Toque
Mondavi Script (Backdrop – Video of family sharing old photos and reminiscing, while drinking wine):
Life is measured in moments. Make the most of them. Woodbridge, by Robert Mondavi –
Making moments worth sharing for over 30 years.
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February 12, 2021 at 1:03 pm #62929
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantI like the way you lower your speaking volume and get close to the mic. This adds an intimacy to your delivery that works well with this script. Nice job! Bill A.
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February 12, 2021 at 12:05 am #62915
mkell755
ParticipantHi Toque, really nice! I like the warmth and smoothness of your voice – I think it sounds really good for this one. I agree that Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi could be emphasied a little more, like as the peak in the performance to let the listener know that even though people and hanging around quietly drinking wine, you want them to know what type of wine, so they too can share this type of experience. Well done!
Mary
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February 11, 2021 at 7:30 pm #62883
TimDKietzman
ParticipantYou definitely have a fitting voice for this script and I do think you hit good wards and had the right tone. However, I think you’re pausing a lot and that makes it sound choppy. Also, I the phrase: “Woodridge, by Robert Mondavi” sounds a tad bland. If they’re the client, you need to sound like your praising them. Hope this helps.
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February 11, 2021 at 5:20 pm #62881
SuperLuke
ParticipantGood job, I enjoy this performance
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February 10, 2021 at 11:38 pm #62860
kevinwiland
ParticipantHi all, thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it! Just working on my technique right now, thanks.
Script:
This is the story of a small planet in space called Earth.
Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wildernesses.
It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization.
But how did all this come about? Where do we come from?Attachments:
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February 13, 2021 at 7:06 pm #62995
tori811
ParticipantHello! I like how well you articulated and added some feeling into the script. I also noticed the sound was a little glitchy (not sure if this is the correct word to describe, sorry!) which kind of threw off the tone a bit.
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February 13, 2021 at 4:51 pm #62980
Barb
ParticipantI love that you sound genuinely interested in the topic! It sounds like a narration, perhaps for middle schoolers?
That said, I bet you’re one of those folks whose natural joy comes through (guilty here!) so I don’t think you need to work so hard at it.
When doing narrations about something I can visualize, I like to imagine I’m painting a picture as I go. It slows me down because I picture the brush strokes. I think you can speak the lines a little slower, and space them out further to give time for the visuals, and viewer reflection.
You got this!
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February 11, 2021 at 7:38 pm #62884
TimDKietzman
ParticipantYour voice and enunciation are well performed. Although, I think your tone is sarcastic and that doesn’t fit this script in my opinion. Also, you sound as if you’re trying to excite an auditorium of children and I’m not sure that’s the target audience. Also, I can tell you recorded the script at different intervals and that makes it sound choppy, you should make sure the script flows. Keep up the good work, I think you’re on the right track.
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February 11, 2021 at 4:06 pm #62876
Toque
ParticipantHi Kevin. From a technical aspect the volume is a tad loud, which distorts the read. Not sure if it’s your volume settings, you’re too close to the mic, or maybe a combination of both? Also, in terms of editing, there was some noticeable transition between segments that sound like they were recorded at separate times. For example the transition at 0:09 to 0:10, I felt was noticeably at a different volume. Keep at it! Toque
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February 10, 2021 at 10:58 pm #62858
mkell755
ParticipantHi everyone! I took a short break to get new equipment set up (yeah!) Let me know what you think – is the tone right for the script? I was trying for conversational, and somewhat humorous towards the end. This is my first time recording with the Rode NT1-A mic and Scarlett 2i2 interface, not sure how loud or soft it is coming across. Thanks for any and all feedback!
Michelob
Send over a beer that’s less likely to get sent back. 100 % imported hops give Michelob Light a remarkable smooth, satisfying taste. So if it ever does get sent back, at least you’ll know it wasn’t the beer. Michelob Light makes any occasion seem special.Attachments:
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February 11, 2021 at 4:13 pm #62877
Toque
ParticipantHi Mary. Out of curiosity, I went back and listened to one of your older posts to compare. Feels to me like the new mic somewhat deepens and mellows your voice. The Rode sounds like a good choice for you! Toque
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February 11, 2021 at 6:22 am #62862
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHi, Mary.
Regarding your set-up, you have set the microphone gain too high on your interface causing the audio to clip/distort. The halo light indicator on the input k**b should never turn red and only occasionally turn yellow while you are speaking. Super important to set your record level correctly so you don’t clip the audio.
Regarding the performance, I think a softer, conversational delivery with maybe a flirtatious tone makes sense. This appears to be a scene where the listener is buying a drink for someone they’d like to meet at a bar/club. Perhaps you’re the person sitting right next to them, offering this advice. Just a thought about a different way to perform this script.
Congrats on your new gear. Solid choices. Looking forward to hearing more of your work!
Bill A.
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February 11, 2021 at 11:42 pm #62908
mkell755
ParticipantThanks for the feedback Bill! The issue I’m having so far is that I can see that the halo light is green when I start, but because of how I have my room set up for soundproofing (portable isolation booth) I can’t see the light while I record. I will probably need to rearrange some things for sure. I’m trying to get the levels between -12 and -9 db but I definitely do not want the distortion, so I will have to work on that. A softer tone sounds good for this one, I agree with you. I felt like I was somewhat yelling into the mic to get the levels to hit at least -12 (it was lower on the playback). Anyway, more practice is clearly needed. Thanks for the suggestions!
Mary
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February 11, 2021 at 5:18 pm #62880
SuperLuke
ParticipantI agree, your performance is good. But your setup is distorting your performance delivery
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February 10, 2021 at 5:26 pm #62822
burdahgirl
ParticipantJust a practice script from the Edge Library. Thanks for any feedback on this read!
Purina One Brand 2
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.
Attachments:
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February 11, 2021 at 7:41 pm #62885
TimDKietzman
ParticipantMagnificent read! You sound so happy, confident, and inviting. As I’m listening, I can just picture the accompanying video thanks to your read.
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February 11, 2021 at 4:00 pm #62875
Toque
ParticipantAwesome job, in every aspect! Toque
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February 10, 2021 at 10:56 pm #62857
kevinwiland
ParticipantWoah, you are seriously a pro! Very nicely done!
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February 10, 2021 at 7:43 pm #62852
mkell755
ParticipantHi Burdagirl, great read! I really like this one for you. Great energy and very nice smile in your voice. I too was smiling as I heard it. Very good!
Mary
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February 10, 2021 at 6:00 pm #62840
SuperLuke
ParticipantGreat smile in your voice. I enjoy the cheerfulness you have as you talk about feeding your cat what they will enjoy. Great performance.
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February 10, 2021 at 5:31 pm #62825
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantLove the smile in your voice. The way you say Purina One in the final line…magic. Great job.
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February 9, 2021 at 10:56 pm #62791
ep1800
ParticipantThis is the second script.
EdAttachments:
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February 10, 2021 at 7:46 pm #62853
mkell755
ParticipantHi Ed, good read! You sounded friendly, warm and approachable. Good pacing and energy and it hooked me right from the beginning with “This is Henry!”
Mary
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February 10, 2021 at 10:16 am #62796
RYoung
ParticipantGreat realistic delivery on this PSA! I assume you’ll fade or edit out the breaths in lieu of some light background music, sounds very connected to me and good luck with your demo.
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February 9, 2021 at 10:53 pm #62789
ep1800
ParticipantHi I am working on a couple of scripts for a commercial demo. Would appreciate your comments.
Thank you. EdAttachments:
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February 11, 2021 at 7:43 pm #62886
TimDKietzman
ParticipantYou’re doing great. I love your tone, volume, and pitches, but the tempo sounds choppy. I can tell you’re breathing and it sounds like your pausing in the middle of the sentence. It’s important to make sure the read flows and save pauses for commas, periods, etc.
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February 10, 2021 at 7:48 pm #62854
mkell755
ParticipantHi Ed, good job! I liked your hushed tone which felt emotionally connected and sensitive to the topic discussed. Good job!
Mary
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February 10, 2021 at 5:32 pm #62826
SuperLuke
ParticipantVery well done. I thought the performance was very heartfelt and eye-opening to the audience.
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February 10, 2021 at 10:20 am #62797
RYoung
ParticipantSorry I think I replied to the wrong recording this one was the one I meant to reply to. The one above about home Depot seems good as well in a natural conversational style although you may want to change tone or get a little more enthusiastic for the ending hope that helps!
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February 9, 2021 at 1:59 pm #62782
Michelle
ParticipantHello all! This is short and sweet. I look forward to the feedback!
Attachments:
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February 11, 2021 at 7:47 pm #62887
TimDKietzman
ParticipantI think the way you’re reading is quite fitting. You sound like an authority on the subject, you’re commanding and inspirational, but I’m noticing a lot of pauses and breaths. It’s important to avoid making the script choppy, especially when it’s short like this. Even so, well done!
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February 10, 2021 at 7:49 pm #62855
mkell755
ParticipantHi Michelle, good job! Short but really effective and well done. You sounded very approachable, confident, and down to earth.
Mary
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February 10, 2021 at 5:37 pm #62829
SuperLuke
ParticipantI enjoyed the performance, short sweet and to the point
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February 9, 2021 at 5:58 pm #62786
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHi, Michelle.
I like the way you contrasted the first two lines and, especially, how you delivered “…your immune system is” with a slight smile. You pause a bit too long between “is” and “with” which breaks the flow of this sentence. It does make the product name stand out but I found it slightly jarring. Nice job on the closing line and not dropping off on “immune system strong.” Very pleasant voice! I could hear a couple plosives, which you will want to eliminate through mic technique and maybe a pop filter. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
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February 8, 2021 at 6:29 pm #62759
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHello,
Thought I’d loosen up a bit tonight and bring more inflection with a light-hearted piece. That shirt rustle is a good reminder to wear “quiet” clothes when recording. Thanks for any feedback… Bill A.
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.
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February 8, 2021 at 11:06 pm #62771
BarbC
ParticipantI haven’t been here in a while, but I’m glad to be back. Nice job! I like your light hearted, matter of fact tone and I enjoyed the way you told the story. One thought is that you might try taking this to an even lighter note by leaning into a little bit of spirited boasting about your creative genius child. 🙂 Just another approach to consider. Nicely done!
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February 10, 2021 at 5:42 pm #62831
SuperLuke
ParticipantI enjoyed the performance very much. I appreciated the heartfelt emotions you inserted to the script. Very nice.
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February 9, 2021 at 5:38 am #62774
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHey, Barb. Thank you for the encouraging feedback. I agree with your suggestion and think I’ll have a go at that later today. Welcome back to the forum. I first discovered this community back in 2010 and have always enjoyed coming back. Where are you on your VO journey? Regards, Bill A.
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February 9, 2021 at 6:31 pm #62787
BarbC
ParticipantHi Bill. Thanks, it’s good to be back. I started down this road in 2016 and fell away.. wish I had continued then but nothing happens before it’s time I guess, right? Onward and upward! I’m back, fully engaged and having a good time learning. I should be posting soon! Best, BarbC.
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February 8, 2021 at 10:17 pm #62768
RYoung
ParticipantVery nice conversational and enthusiastic tone to this Bill! If you want any critique I would say there are 3 slurred words in there which maybe were done on purpose, I know because I have done the same thing with lists. It’s like a stutter where you extend a word to sound as though your thinking as you speak, it actually creates more realism; “a designer” and “I think” are two I noticed but maybe it was on purpose, enjoyed that though along with my grandson who is a Leggo enthusiast!
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February 9, 2021 at 5:46 am #62775
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantHey, Rich. Yep, I was trying to sound conversational, speaking my thoughts as they were coming to me. And maybe a little hesitant to brag too much about my son. Anyway, I appreciate your critique and your grandson’s endorsement! Good to know he’s engaged in creative diversions! Thanks, Bill A.
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February 8, 2021 at 6:22 pm #62756
GJS
ParticipantQuick Re-Do Aetna-US Healthcare For Class – Flat Read
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February 10, 2021 at 10:49 pm #62856
kevinwiland
ParticipantGood job — I would just focus on getting a little more emotion from this read. If healthcare is really important, you’re not making it seem important. I should feel more “care” with the first two sentences.
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February 9, 2021 at 5:56 am #62776
Bill Anciaux
ParticipantI really like the way you said “to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring.” You sounded most connected to the script here, warm and inspiring. I think this connection should come across throughout the piece, whether it’s a flat read or not. Thanks, Bill A.
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February 8, 2021 at 10:04 pm #62767
RYoung
Participantsounds very good mostly, I did notice a little hesitation in turning the script tone more positive when you talk about Aetna partnering, maybe you want a enthusiastic change there?
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