Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #62897
    AliciaMC
    Participant

    Practicing for my demo. This is a short spot for Northwell Health. Thank you for your feedback!

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    • #62912
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Alicia, again, good read! I listened a few times and kept hearing “…anyone elts” instead of “…..anyone else”; it made the “s” sounds stand out a little sharply the two times that “else” was said. Your tone is very good for this genre, keep up the good work!

      Mary

  • #62890
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hello all. So far, I’ve only been uploading commercial scripts so I thought I’d try my hand at Narration scripts. Am I narrating it well? Is my recording setup still serving me well, I appreciate any advice.

    Partial knee replacement
    A partial knee replacement is an alternative to total knee replacement for some patients with osteoarthritis of the knee. This surgery can be done when the damage is confined to a particular compartment of the knee.
    In the past, partial knee replacement was reserved for older patients who were involved in few activities. Now, partial knee replacement is often preferred in the younger population as their recovery is quicker and often with much less pain. About 5% to 6% of patients with arthritic knees are estimated to be eligible for partial knee replacement.

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    • #62913
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Good job on this one. I liked the pace and tone of the read, and it made me want to learn more about knee replacement. The recording setup sounds good. “osteoarthritis” sounded like “aresteoarthritis” (an extra r?) small detail; medical terms can be difficult to say them with complete confidence / familiarity at least for me. Keep up the good work!

      Mary

  • #62888
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hey everyone, I’m still practicing and appreciate any feedback I can get. I think this script is unusual for me in that it’s about business. I’m still trying to perfect my strike zone of warmth and friendly. Does it sound like that to you? Is it fitting for this script?

    American Express
    Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.

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    • #62914
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Good job on this one. I think it does sound warm and friendly, and like someone we can trust about a secret you are letting them know.

      Mary

  • #62873
    Toque
    Participant

    Hi all! Posting another practice script. Appreciate any feedback on all aspects. Also, does this sort of job suit my voice? What do you think my voice might be best suited for? Don’t be shy…I have thick skin 🙂 Toque

    Mondavi Script (Backdrop – Video of family sharing old photos and reminiscing, while drinking wine):

    Life is measured in moments. Make the most of them. Woodbridge, by Robert Mondavi –

    Making moments worth sharing for over 30 years.

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    • #62929
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      I like the way you lower your speaking volume and get close to the mic. This adds an intimacy to your delivery that works well with this script. Nice job! Bill A.

      • #63123
        Toque
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Bill, Mary, Tim & Luke! Really appreciate you each taking the time to listen and comment. T

    • #62915
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Toque, really nice! I like the warmth and smoothness of your voice – I think it sounds really good for this one. I agree that Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi could be emphasied a little more, like as the peak in the performance to let the listener know that even though people and hanging around quietly drinking wine, you want them to know what type of wine, so they too can share this type of experience. Well done!

      Mary

    • #62883
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You definitely have a fitting voice for this script and I do think you hit good wards and had the right tone. However, I think you’re pausing a lot and that makes it sound choppy. Also, I the phrase: “Woodridge, by Robert Mondavi” sounds a tad bland. If they’re the client, you need to sound like your praising them. Hope this helps.

    • #62881
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Good job, I enjoy this performance

  • #62860
    kevinwiland
    Participant

    Hi all, thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it! Just working on my technique right now, thanks.

    Script:
    This is the story of a small planet in space called Earth.
    Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wildernesses.
    It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization.
    But how did all this come about? Where do we come from?

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    • #62995
      tori811
      Participant

      Hello! I like how well you articulated and added some feeling into the script. I also noticed the sound was a little glitchy (not sure if this is the correct word to describe, sorry!) which kind of threw off the tone a bit.

    • #62980
      Barb
      Participant

      I love that you sound genuinely interested in the topic! It sounds like a narration, perhaps for middle schoolers?

      That said, I bet you’re one of those folks whose natural joy comes through (guilty here!) so I don’t think you need to work so hard at it.

      When doing narrations about something I can visualize, I like to imagine I’m painting a picture as I go. It slows me down because I picture the brush strokes. I think you can speak the lines a little slower, and space them out further to give time for the visuals, and viewer reflection.

      You got this!

    • #62884
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Your voice and enunciation are well performed. Although, I think your tone is sarcastic and that doesn’t fit this script in my opinion. Also, you sound as if you’re trying to excite an auditorium of children and I’m not sure that’s the target audience. Also, I can tell you recorded the script at different intervals and that makes it sound choppy, you should make sure the script flows. Keep up the good work, I think you’re on the right track.

    • #62876
      Toque
      Participant

      Hi Kevin. From a technical aspect the volume is a tad loud, which distorts the read. Not sure if it’s your volume settings, you’re too close to the mic, or maybe a combination of both? Also, in terms of editing, there was some noticeable transition between segments that sound like they were recorded at separate times. For example the transition at 0:09 to 0:10, I felt was noticeably at a different volume. Keep at it! Toque

  • #62858
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I took a short break to get new equipment set up (yeah!) Let me know what you think – is the tone right for the script? I was trying for conversational, and somewhat humorous towards the end. This is my first time recording with the Rode NT1-A mic and Scarlett 2i2 interface, not sure how loud or soft it is coming across. Thanks for any and all feedback!

    Michelob
    Send over a beer that’s less likely to get sent back. 100 % imported hops give Michelob Light a remarkable smooth, satisfying taste. So if it ever does get sent back, at least you’ll know it wasn’t the beer. Michelob Light makes any occasion seem special.

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    • #62877
      Toque
      Participant

      Hi Mary. Out of curiosity, I went back and listened to one of your older posts to compare. Feels to me like the new mic somewhat deepens and mellows your voice. The Rode sounds like a good choice for you! Toque

      • #62907
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Toque! I’m glad it sounds mellower and deeper – I can work with that and hopefully keep improving!

        Mary

    • #62862
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      Hi, Mary.

      Regarding your set-up, you have set the microphone gain too high on your interface causing the audio to clip/distort. The halo light indicator on the input k**b should never turn red and only occasionally turn yellow while you are speaking. Super important to set your record level correctly so you don’t clip the audio.

      Regarding the performance, I think a softer, conversational delivery with maybe a flirtatious tone makes sense. This appears to be a scene where the listener is buying a drink for someone they’d like to meet at a bar/club. Perhaps you’re the person sitting right next to them, offering this advice. Just a thought about a different way to perform this script.

      Congrats on your new gear. Solid choices. Looking forward to hearing more of your work!

      Bill A.

      • #62908
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Bill! The issue I’m having so far is that I can see that the halo light is green when I start, but because of how I have my room set up for soundproofing (portable isolation booth) I can’t see the light while I record. I will probably need to rearrange some things for sure. I’m trying to get the levels between -12 and -9 db but I definitely do not want the distortion, so I will have to work on that. A softer tone sounds good for this one, I agree with you. I felt like I was somewhat yelling into the mic to get the levels to hit at least -12 (it was lower on the playback). Anyway, more practice is clearly needed. Thanks for the suggestions!

        Mary

      • #62880
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I agree, your performance is good. But your setup is distorting your performance delivery

        • #62909
          mkell755
          Participant

          Thanks for the feedback SuperLuke! I will work on eliminating distortion. Thanks!

          Mary

  • #62822
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Just a practice script from the Edge Library. Thanks for any feedback on this read!

    Purina One Brand 2

    Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.

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    • #62885
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Magnificent read! You sound so happy, confident, and inviting. As I’m listening, I can just picture the accompanying video thanks to your read.

    • #62875
      Toque
      Participant

      Awesome job, in every aspect! Toque

    • #62857
      kevinwiland
      Participant

      Woah, you are seriously a pro! Very nicely done!

    • #62852
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdagirl, great read! I really like this one for you. Great energy and very nice smile in your voice. I too was smiling as I heard it. Very good!

      Mary

    • #62840
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Great smile in your voice. I enjoy the cheerfulness you have as you talk about feeding your cat what they will enjoy. Great performance.

    • #62825
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      Love the smile in your voice. The way you say Purina One in the final line…magic. Great job.

  • #62791
    ep1800
    Participant

    This is the second script.
    Ed

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    • #62853
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Ed, good read! You sounded friendly, warm and approachable. Good pacing and energy and it hooked me right from the beginning with “This is Henry!”

      Mary

      • #62927
        ep1800
        Participant

        Mary, thank you for your comments on this read.

    • #62796
      RYoung
      Participant

      Great realistic delivery on this PSA! I assume you’ll fade or edit out the breaths in lieu of some light background music, sounds very connected to me and good luck with your demo.

      • #62824
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        I liked the performance. Although I was hearing background noise/static distracting me as a listener. It’s something you might want to eliminate, in case it was your set up or if it’s just my headphone plug in.

        • #62926
          ep1800
          Participant

          Super Luke, thanks for your comments. Can you be any more specific about the background noise?

  • #62789
    ep1800
    Participant

    Hi I am working on a couple of scripts for a commercial demo. Would appreciate your comments.
    Thank you. Ed

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    • #62886
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You’re doing great. I love your tone, volume, and pitches, but the tempo sounds choppy. I can tell you’re breathing and it sounds like your pausing in the middle of the sentence. It’s important to make sure the read flows and save pauses for commas, periods, etc.

      • #62925
        ep1800
        Participant

        Tim, thank you for your comments. yes, pausing is an ongoing challenge for me.
        Ed

    • #62854
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Ed, good job! I liked your hushed tone which felt emotionally connected and sensitive to the topic discussed. Good job!

      Mary

      • #62924
        ep1800
        Participant

        Mary, thank you for commenting on the read. I want to also thank you for comments you made on a read I did a couple of weeks ago,but did not acknowledge them. Please accept my apologies!
        Ed

    • #62826
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Very well done. I thought the performance was very heartfelt and eye-opening to the audience.

      • #62923
        ep1800
        Participant

        SuperLuke, thank you for your comments. I appreciate them.

    • #62797
      RYoung
      Participant

      Sorry I think I replied to the wrong recording this one was the one I meant to reply to. The one above about home Depot seems good as well in a natural conversational style although you may want to change tone or get a little more enthusiastic for the ending hope that helps!

      • #62922
        ep1800
        Participant

        RYoung, thanks for your comments on the read. Yes, I think your point about more energy toward the end id right on!

  • #62782
    Michelle
    Participant

    Hello all! This is short and sweet. I look forward to the feedback!

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    • #62887
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      I think the way you’re reading is quite fitting. You sound like an authority on the subject, you’re commanding and inspirational, but I’m noticing a lot of pauses and breaths. It’s important to avoid making the script choppy, especially when it’s short like this. Even so, well done!

    • #62855
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Michelle, good job! Short but really effective and well done. You sounded very approachable, confident, and down to earth.

      Mary

    • #62829
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      I enjoyed the performance, short sweet and to the point

    • #62786
      Bill Anciaux
      Participant

      Hi, Michelle.

      I like the way you contrasted the first two lines and, especially, how you delivered “…your immune system is” with a slight smile. You pause a bit too long between “is” and “with” which breaks the flow of this sentence. It does make the product name stand out but I found it slightly jarring. Nice job on the closing line and not dropping off on “immune system strong.” Very pleasant voice! I could hear a couple plosives, which you will want to eliminate through mic technique and maybe a pop filter. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.

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