Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all!
Have you ever gotten the same note from coach again, and again….and again? Welp, I am trying an exercise to help with my “same note every time” issue. This is the same read, three times, with each read being directed to a different person. These are just on my phone, so sorry for the lower quality. I’m just trying to find the more authentic tone my coach is looking for and have been S T R U G G L I N G with hearing it and/or performing it.Thanks for any feedback you have!
PS – sorry, I have FAILED at this post, posing mp4s and then forgetting that i had a lead in on one and I can’t figure out how to delete it and start over. Sorry for the sloppy upload, thanks for your grace!
“So much beauty in one place! America is a great country, and we’ve got the best way to see it. Amtrak “Explore America” fares. Round trips from one hundred and seventy nine dollars all across America. It’s a great country at a great price. Call 1-800-USA-RAIL now about Amtrak “Explore America” fares.”
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Burdahgirl
I also like #3. It felt the most conversational and authentic. I’m sure the lead-in helped frame the style you were after big time. It did seem that you had the emphasis reversed for “great price” at end of next to last sentence and I would have also emphasized “great” a little more in the two uses of “great country”. However, you have a fundamentally very good read throughout and it seems the “read it 3 times” suggestion worked well for you. Keep up the good work!
Chas
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Hi Burdahgirl, on the whole, nice job!
Lead in lines are great!I like #3, but I would bring in even more excitement about your trip. And I’d think you could get away with “uh-hundred and Seventy-nine” for the trip cost. Makes it more conversational.
There’s something I do, that I hear in you…a precision or carefulness with the script. It’s hard to be brave enough not to be perfect! Try taking it line by line, and MEMORIZE the line, don’t read it. It may help!
You got this!
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Hi Burdahgirl! First of all, I hear you about getting the same note repeatedly from my coach (and others for that matter) – I feel your pain!!!!*?*! I do believe in this case that practice really can make perfect.
So my preference in these 3 reads is the last one. Lead-ins are helping me get to the appropriate tone and it seems like they are for you as well. I still think its great to use them and then just chop them off as needed for later 🙂 All 3 reads were nice, but the third one had a little more variation in tone and sounded very authentic in encouraging someone to take a trip on Amtrak. Really good job here!
Mary
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Here is another sample of me after reading after the Self- Direction and Cold Reading class, any feedback will be very much appreciated. Thanks.
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So good! Yeah, “canary” should have the accent on the second syllable, but I do love imagining the animated character that might go along with this, making your accent even more effective. Is he a romantic figure, a swashbuckling hero? Maybe imagining it would play up the challenges between the cat and canary more. Just love it!
Only thing, maybe leave a 1/2 second pause at the front of an audition. I don’t know if it’s the Edge player, but the beginning was clipped for me, and often find when listening online (be it here or Voices) if you don’t the first words get clipped.
Barb
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Oh my, I love this read with your beautiful accent because it makes that cat food made with real chicken sound like the most delectable treat! Great read – super energy and pace. Just double check the syllabic stress on “canary”, but that’s an easy fix!
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Hello all! I’m back for any and all feedback. Learning Audacity settings in particular and getting used to the mic. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the help!
Mary
Excedrin
Headaches. We all get them. We all wish they would go away. There is a solution. Excedrin. I just take two and there’s no more tension, no more throbbing, no more pain. My headache is completely gone.
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Hi Mary, nice job.
You might want to change the tone on the very first word: “Headaches.” To me, you sound a little excited instead of being in constant pain.
Keep up the good work. -
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Hey Mary, Great read! My only feedback would be that when you get to “Excedrin” the first time, maybe there could be a more audible tone shift towards relief. Overall a great tone and pace – wonderful job!
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Hello everyone, here uploading my sample after the Self- Direction and Cold Reading class, any feedback will be very much appreciated. Thanks.
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Hi Maurizio, good read! I liked the energy you brought to this script. For the last “Sandals” the tone got really low and dropped off; I would suggest hitting that a little more to make the product you are selling stand out a bit more. Good job!
Mary
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Hi Mary, I like the pacing on your read and your change in tone on ” Excedrin” was good! It sounds a bit as if you are reading this. Imagine you are speaking to a friend. It may help you sound more connected. I enjoyed it!
Ed -
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Hi, Mary. Less clipping in this recording but still an issue (“We all wish they…”). Levels need to be set so that the loudest part does not clip (exceed 0db). You can always boost volume in Audacity but you can’t effectively repair clipped/distorted audio. I’d turn down the gain setting on your mic a bit more. Or, you could back away from the mic by an inch or two. Or you could bring down your speaking volume, project less. That NT1A is a super sensitive mic and will capture more details in your voice if you speak less forcefully. I like the subtle change in your tone when you introduce the solution to headaches. Nice. Bill A.
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Hi Bill! Thanks for the feedback! I will try turning down the gain setting and backing away from the mic separately and together. Yes, at times I feel like I’ve been projecting possibly more than I need to for the script to sound realistic. I’ve been turning up the gain setting to get the halo to register to green (vs. not at all, too low?); I’m not seeing it register otherwise, but like you say there must be a better way, because I don’t want it to sound distorted.
I’m glad you could hear a little bit of a tone change starting with “I just take two…”, seems like it was the pivot in the storyline to propose a solution after the problem. Thanks again for the specificity on what I can do; there seems like so many subtle adjustments and I’m excited to practice and get better. Thanks!
Mary
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Hello all. So far, I’ve only been uploading commercial scripts so I thought I’d try my hand at Narration scripts. Am I narrating it well? Is my recording setup still serving me well, I appreciate any advice.
Partial knee replacement
A partial knee replacement is an alternative to total knee replacement for some patients with osteoarthritis of the knee. This surgery can be done when the damage is confined to a particular compartment of the knee.
In the past, partial knee replacement was reserved for older patients who were involved in few activities. Now, partial knee replacement is often preferred in the younger population as their recovery is quicker and often with much less pain. About 5% to 6% of patients with arthritic knees are estimated to be eligible for partial knee replacement.-
Hi Tim! Good job on this one. I liked the pace and tone of the read, and it made me want to learn more about knee replacement. The recording setup sounds good. “osteoarthritis” sounded like “aresteoarthritis” (an extra r?) small detail; medical terms can be difficult to say them with complete confidence / familiarity at least for me. Keep up the good work!
Mary
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Hey everyone, I’m still practicing and appreciate any feedback I can get. I think this script is unusual for me in that it’s about business. I’m still trying to perfect my strike zone of warmth and friendly. Does it sound like that to you? Is it fitting for this script?
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way. -
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Hi all! Posting another practice script. Appreciate any feedback on all aspects. Also, does this sort of job suit my voice? What do you think my voice might be best suited for? Don’t be shy…I have thick skin 🙂 Toque
Mondavi Script (Backdrop – Video of family sharing old photos and reminiscing, while drinking wine):
Life is measured in moments. Make the most of them. Woodbridge, by Robert Mondavi –
Making moments worth sharing for over 30 years.
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I like the way you lower your speaking volume and get close to the mic. This adds an intimacy to your delivery that works well with this script. Nice job! Bill A.
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Hi Toque, really nice! I like the warmth and smoothness of your voice – I think it sounds really good for this one. I agree that Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi could be emphasied a little more, like as the peak in the performance to let the listener know that even though people and hanging around quietly drinking wine, you want them to know what type of wine, so they too can share this type of experience. Well done!
Mary
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You definitely have a fitting voice for this script and I do think you hit good wards and had the right tone. However, I think you’re pausing a lot and that makes it sound choppy. Also, I the phrase: “Woodridge, by Robert Mondavi” sounds a tad bland. If they’re the client, you need to sound like your praising them. Hope this helps.
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Hi all, thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it! Just working on my technique right now, thanks.
Script:
This is the story of a small planet in space called Earth.
Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wildernesses.
It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization.
But how did all this come about? Where do we come from?-
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I love that you sound genuinely interested in the topic! It sounds like a narration, perhaps for middle schoolers?
That said, I bet you’re one of those folks whose natural joy comes through (guilty here!) so I don’t think you need to work so hard at it.
When doing narrations about something I can visualize, I like to imagine I’m painting a picture as I go. It slows me down because I picture the brush strokes. I think you can speak the lines a little slower, and space them out further to give time for the visuals, and viewer reflection.
You got this!
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Your voice and enunciation are well performed. Although, I think your tone is sarcastic and that doesn’t fit this script in my opinion. Also, you sound as if you’re trying to excite an auditorium of children and I’m not sure that’s the target audience. Also, I can tell you recorded the script at different intervals and that makes it sound choppy, you should make sure the script flows. Keep up the good work, I think you’re on the right track.
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Hi Kevin. From a technical aspect the volume is a tad loud, which distorts the read. Not sure if it’s your volume settings, you’re too close to the mic, or maybe a combination of both? Also, in terms of editing, there was some noticeable transition between segments that sound like they were recorded at separate times. For example the transition at 0:09 to 0:10, I felt was noticeably at a different volume. Keep at it! Toque
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