[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Azalealearning]

Hello Edge VO Community! I am participating in a Scripts and Cold Reads workshop and my homework is to get feedback on the script below. Your honest opinion, tips, criticisms are welcome. 🙂

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[Elvie]

Hi, The volume on the first one is lower than the second. You sound friendly and your pace is good. I like the second one, maybe because I can hear it better. Great job on both!

[SuperLuke]

Good job slating, and recording quality, thanks for doing your performance twice, couldn’t hear it the first time. Good performance as a cold read.

[mkell755]

Hi Kristen, really good work! You sounded really friendly and approachable. I like the smile and attitude in your voice in the first read – nice! Good pacing and energy for all of them.

I agree, the volume on the first one was low, and the other two had good (higher) volumes. Very nice work, keep it up!

Mary

[Msbvoice]

Nice, very nice. Makes me lean in and want to listen more. Smooth, sweet and smart sound. The volume was low on the first one though. I love how each person I am listening to has such a different and strong voice.

[badams13]

Hello everyone, these are my Submissions for a HW assignment for a Self Direction and Cold Read class. Your input and honest critique is greatly appreciated. These scripts were all gathered from the VO Library.

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[Elvie]

Hello, My favorite was the haunting. You took it way down at slower pace and your read was good. For the Sandals I felt it too rush, maybe work on pacing. The JCPenny script did not seem like regular JCPenny script. Did you write it? the lottery was good, liked your energy. Overall great work!

[Msbvoice]

It does seem like the room sound/noise is an issue. Maybe room echo? I use my clothes closet with sound panels on the bare walls and a cargo blankets on the open areas. There are many different options on studio set ups. Depends on money. Again, I use my clothes closet. It works for me. And I use Audacity with the many plug-ins to clean the recording up. But I have been told that Adobe Audition is better although I have not looked into that yet. Voice is great though and engaging.

[Azalealearning]

Hi! I am in the workshop as well and thought I would provide some feedback. I listened to the JCPenny read. It sounds like you were more casual and comfortable toward the end of the read. Your energy was higher and there was more variation in your voice. Excited even! If you start with that same energy, this would make me want to go to the sale as a listener. Great work!

[badams13]

I need to work more with my home studio as I know there are some abrupt cut off spots

[Msbvoice]

Better late than never. This is for the Self Direction and Cold Read class. Let me know what you think if you can. Thanks, Mark

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[HollyBlythe]

Hi Mark. I’m in this class too. I liked your pacing and timbre in all of these. Don’t rush the company name “Jack in the Box.” Hearing an “um or “mm” just before “Jack.”

“Has Been Toys” is read loudly and clearly!

[SuperLuke]

I really enjoyed all of your performances Mark. The music and sound effects were nice too. You did a great job pacing yourself and being the characters in each recording, staying in the moment.

[Azalealearning]

Hi Mark! Fellow workshop attendee here… I listened to all three of your reads and I must say your voice has great range. I especially thought the third read for the toy was the best. If i were listening on the radio without seeing what you were selling, i would want to look it up when i got home especially if i were a kid. Great work! The only feedback I would give would be on the background music. It’s a nice touch but i had a hard time hearing you over some parts of it. Best, Kristen

[badams13]

All of these are great and I’m loving the music/ sound effects incorporated as well. #1 really made me want to go to Jack N The Box
On the second one, I personally would’ve went more down on my voice in the “I would take them there” Kind of like real evil/ menacing but the way you went was good as well. They all are really good

[Mdmcghee34]

Hello Everyone! Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I uploaded two narration scripts. I would greatly appreciate any feedback! Have a great day.

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[Mdmcghee34]

Thank you both for your feedback!

[SuperLuke]

Nice voice for the read. However, the volume level is a problem, I could barely hear you in your performance.

[Msbvoice]

Volume was off a bit. But the read sounded nice, especially the second one. Smooth voice,nice.

[nperna451]

My homework for my narration coaching session. Any thoughts or comments?

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[Mdmcghee34]

Flam-Rudiements review:
I learned something new it makes me interested in learning more about drum play. Informative, smooth and good energy. I thought it had good pacing. One thing I noticed is towards the final seconds ‘try…in your free improvisation’ It’s a little choppy. Overall well done.

[nperna451]

thanks so much!

[DAYLIGHTVO]

Hello everyone! I’ve uploaded two spots here, one of which I created the original copy. It was really interesting to begin placing technique and body motion into the read in order to get an authentic recording. Let me know what you think, am I on the right track?

Thank you
-Ndehru

Words. They can do anything.

1 Words. They can do anything. They can call in a dog at night. They
2 can bring comfort to an old friend. They can say happy birthday to a
3 girl whose balloons are slowly sinking. But sometimes, words can
4 get you into trouble. Like the human rights activist who was
5 kidnapped for standing up to Government corruption. Or the
6 journalist sentenced to 10 years in prison for sending an email. Or
7 the thousands of men and women who are arrested and tortured
8 just for demanding fair election. Now we need your words, to
9 demand justice; to take a stand. To offer hope, to people around the
10 world, who are silenced for simply speaking their minds. Write a
11 letter or speak out today. Your words can lead to their freedom.
12 Words. They can do anything.

American Health Imaging: Safe Imaging

1 Need Medical Imaging? There’s no need to wait for an MRI, CT or
2 Ultrasound. American Health Imaging is a safe and smart
3 alternative to hospitals. Our clean and safe free standing
4 facilities offer high quality imaging at 75 percent less. All
5 customers are screened for signs of illness and our staff are
6 always wearing masks and other protective equipment.
7 You can also safely check in from your car. Our touch less
8 experience goes above and beyond CDC guidelines. All high-touch
9 surfaces are sanitized after each patient and our centers are
10 disinfected every night. Our one of a kind Concierge Experience
11 guides you through every step of your visit. American Health
12 Imaging, Now More Than Ever.

[DAYLIGHTVO]

Re-Uploaded these spots here.

[jonathan.anderson]

Hi Ndehru,

Please make sure that you are uploading mp3s. Our website doesn’t like any other file type.

Best,
Jonathan

[Msbvoice]

I’m not seeing the audio anywhere?

[RYoung]

I’m gonna regret this, But here it is Bil-bo!

Disney character intro
Howdy folks, I’m Ray the firefly, how y’all doing. Don’t make me light my b**t now! Now folks, I’d like to introduce you to my beautiful wife, there she is the most beautiful firefly of all, Evangeline. Look how she lights up the sky. Hey there Ray, mind if I but in for a minute to say hi? Don’t see why not, everyone else is going to in a couple of seconds. Hi everyone, hi there poo boy, was going to give my introduction, how are you anyway? I’m good I wish I had some honey, don’t look now but here comes eeore. Hi every body, Eeore, why the long face there buddy? I lost my tail again. I’ll help you find it this time but don’t try to loose it again would ya buddy. Hi everyone, oh look it’s Mickey, how are you Mickey? I’m fine, how are you I’m good, say uhhh where’s Minnie? She is is right here, hi everyone, hiya Minnie great to see ya , oh me too. Looks like this is going to be a luvy dovey fest, so folks let’s get this how on the road.

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[Bil-Bo]

Hey Rich
Ya gotta stretch every once in a while! I liked it. You do a great Mickey & Minnie! That was a lotta different voices under one roof. If I tried it, would probably take me a month to do each voice and another month to put ’em all together. Good work as always!
BillH

[Mdmcghee34]

That was fun! Nice job switching between characters. I could hear the distinctions clearly. script is engaging and interesting to hear what happens next. Pacing is good and giving you time to hear each character introducing themselves.

[Robert Broussard]

I put together a new script as possible on my Demo. Any feedback will be appreciated. Thanks

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[badams13]

This was a great read. Very welcoming and demo worthy

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

[nperna451]

Sounded very friendly and it was very well paced! Good job!

[Msbvoice]

I agree. Would be good for the demo. Nice voice and read.

[S3VO]

Hi Robert, your client would love you because that was a fun, folksy read…and I actually remembered the product you were ‘selling’ because of it!

[Robert Broussard]

I appreciate the feedback. I like Budweiser. I worked my way through college at a Budweiser Distributorship.

[mkell755]

Hi Robert, good read! I think this would be great for your demo – it was very conversational and authentic, and laid back. Good job!

Mary

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks Mary, I should be getting close to do a demo.

[Robert Broussard]

Attached is my first read in a while. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions. Thanks

Franklin Disability
You grow up looking to your parents as your providers and protectors. Then one day, sometimes quite suddenly, the shoe’s on the other foot. As you yourself grow older, how can you be assured that you won’t be forced to depend on your own children for your care and security? It’s simple. We’re the Franklin Disability Insurance Company. We’re continually looking toward the future, so you’ll be prepared when it gets here. For more information, contact your broker. Here’s to a long life.

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[D M Ulmer]

Hi Robert,
very relaxed. Sound as if you could be one of my neighbors inviting us over. Good pacing. And I could tell you the product and company.

Dawn

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks Dawn, appreciate it.

[Msbvoice]

Again, great voice. I agree there are a few spots with pacing like between disability…insurance. And I think it is called “up-speak”. I tend to do this on some reads. Where you say “older, children, care and security” it sounds like it should vary more up and down? But I love the voice, I agree with the Tom Bodett comparison.

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.

[touzet]

You have like a signature Motel 6 (We’ll leave the light on for you) kind of voice. Very nice tone. For me, there are some flow issues. One at “…own children….for your care..” , also “…Disability….Insurance Company..”, and “…prepared….when it gets here.” IMHO, those lines should flow more straight through. You might want to shoot for making “We’re” sound more like weer instead of were. Nice work.
– touzet –

[Robert Broussard]

I appreciate your advice, thanks!!

[mkell755]

Hi Robert, really good job on this one! Excellent production too. The tone and pacing were spot on – really good work here, not much that I can think of to critique!

Mary

[Robert Broussard]

Thanks Mary, I have been out of the loop on my day job for a while. Just started up again today. Appreciate it.

[S3VO]

Hi Everyone, I’ve uploaded three scripts to get feedback for a homework assignment. This is my first time on the forum and I would appreciate brutal assessments…I figure it’s the best way to improve my reads and learn how a casting agent might hear my voice. Don’t worry, I’ve got a thick skin! ;). Thanks in advance!!
S3

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[D M Ulmer]

I also agree with Touzet. He has some good technical help there. Your modulations were well done. I found the reads engaging and the pacing appropriate. The last read showed the promise that corporate training videos could be interesting to listen to. Agree with the comment about smoothing things out.

keep up the good work!
Dawn

[Msbvoice]

I agree with Touzet’s assessment. All easily fixed. Nice voice. Friendly, warm, smart. I liked No. 3 the best on the scale, but they were all nice reads.

[touzet]

Very nice voice. At around :19 secs in the first track, you hit “Business” pretty hard.
In track 3, around :11 “…need to know….to produce a…” The gap between “know” and “to” stuck out a little for me. (An easy edit fix).
There are some minor plosive issues…I mean minor but I think could still be mitigated some.
In track 1 “….Buying goods on line…” That B in buying. Sounds like it may be high-passed a bit which saves it some but I’m thinking more could be done with pop screens or mic position. Might be better to have more low end in your track and physically avoid the plosives.
I am also hearing some sibilance issues throughout. Again, back to the first time “Business” is read in track 1. Both S’s in that word.
A de-esser may help with that and possibly some EQ adjustments.
I pretty much like the performance throughout.

– touzet –

[S3VO]

Wow, touzet, thank you so much for the detailed feedback…editing is not my strong point (obviously!). I didn’t do any editing other than deleting breaths, so I have to get up to speed on making EQ adjustments. Also, I’m going to have to play with mic position, because I did use a pop screen and wasn’t talking directly into the mic. I’ve gotten some really important things to work on through this forum so far! Thanks everyone!

[Barb]

Good work!

You do sound like a knowledgeable, trusted friend. I think #3 worked out the best, but the other two were also good fits.

Overall, I’d just work on smoothing it out a bit. You could try looking at the script, memorizing the line, and then speaking it without reading.

Nice job!

Barb

[mkell755]

Hi S3! First of all, welcome!

Good job on these 3 scripts. Your voice is nice and friendly and your tone feels approachable. I liked the third script the best for you, seemed like the best fit of the 3 for your voice. Good pacing and variation in tone for all of them – good job on these!

Mary

[S3VO]

Thank you Mary and Barb for your feedback!! I really appreciate you both listening to all three scripts and it’s really beneficial to me to hear that you both chose the third one as the best fit for my voice!! And I’ll definitely try Barb’s idea for smoothing out my reads. I’ve learned so much already with just my first post. Now, to continue with my homework, I’m to provide feedback to help train my ear (which I obviously need!). 🙂

[Author]

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