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This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
This topic was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
Helloooooooo! This is a small portion of a 15-minute narration piece I’m recording for a client. The age of the audience is 10-18 (and their parents)… clarity is super important to the client.
In order to qualify, a student must be in seventh through eleventh grade, be a current FFA member, and demonstrate financial need. Grants are awarded primarily on financial need. The advisor’s statement is crucially important in establishing the financial need and eligibility of the applicant.
Hi Dena! Good read! The pacing and clarity were both good, but if the audience is primarily 10-18, it might be good to throw in a micro-pause at the end of the 2 sentences and let the listener catch up to what you are saying, possibly with a little more emphasis on “financial need”, both times it is mentioned. This seems to be a good genre for you!
Hey there! Nothing technical stood out to me that you could improve. You could try sounding a little more enthusiastic or have more energy if this is for students as young as 10, but totally depends on what the client is asking for – as you stated. Really nice work!
L. Houle
(1) Baby Formula – smooth, confidence-building; pronunciation of “nourish”
(2) Chateau – hospitality exemplified, can hear the smile
(3) RFP – warm, educational attitude; slower, pause to help listeners process the information
There’s some phasing / flanging kind of thing happening. This is often a result of using (over using) noise reduction. Are you employing noise reduction?…If so, you may be better off just going with the noise. Also, If you are using NR, you need to make sure you’re are giving it a legit room sample (room tone) to work with.
Hey there! OK! First of all, have you set up a home studio yet? You sound kinda boom-y/echo-y which will right away take your audition out of consideration. If you’re just recording these for class and are not submitting auditions from home then let’s just dive into your reads. As always, you could read me the Wall Street Journal and make it sound like cookies and a warm fire… so there’s that.
I can only hit a couple of points for each of these…
I’d love for you to give the first word in the first two spots the same importance that you give the first word of the last one.
First spot. What is important about having two boys and being close to a grocery store and hospital? Know the answer before you say that line. Find the humor and irony in that.
Second spot. I completely lose “When the…” at the top. Overall the second read is nice and I think if you take your time a bit more with it you can lock it in.
Third spot. I didn’t understand the words “dark spot” and “targeted”. The whole read was a bit rushed and mushy. And I say that with love.
I think you should REALLY work on giving yourself a lead in for each these. It’ll help you sound more connected and conversational.
Hi all! Its been a minute since I’ve posted anything in the forum. Here is a cold read. I realize there are some plosives and I mispronounced “East Campus”. I’m working on something I’ve been learning at Larry Hudson’s vocal workout group. He says “There are Phrases, and inside phrases are Ideas, and within ideas are beats” I’ve been blasting through my sentences for fear of the dreaded micropause where there shouldn’t be pauses, but in studying how to sound conversational, I realize that we do pause when we talk at certain times, often at the points mentioned above. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated thank you!
Welcome to Gordon College!
This tour begins just outside the tunnel that goes under College Drive near the flagpole.
We will tour East campus first, followed by West Campus, and end the tour back here at the tunnel.
Periodically, I will ask you to pause the recording so that you can walk to the next point or take a few minutes to independently tour the area.
I will always use the word “pause” when you need to pause the recording.
And I will always use the word “stop” when you need to stop walking while I continue speaking.
Hey Katelyn,
I am a big fan — you always post amazing stuff!
This post seemed a little lacking in energy, particularly at the end of sentences: “Gordon College”, “at the tunnel.” The ending of the later sentences seemed rushed.
Just my thoughts.
Kevin
Hello again Forums! Hope you all are well. Today I have a script im testing and looking for any feedback you may have. Thanks in advance!
Fishing etiquette is all about being respectful of other anglers. Try not to overcrowd a spot where others are already fishing, and never keep more fish than you can eat. Most importantly make sure to check your state’s forestry department’s website for local laws as well as updates on regulations.
Hi there Jay! Nice read! I liked your tone of voice. One thing that popped out to me was your pause between “overcrowd a spot” There was a glottal stop here where you completely closed the back of your mouth between “overcrowd (close) a” this results in a harsh onset or “glottal stop” of the word “a”. Its common with vowels. To smooth this out you can imagine the word is spelled like this “overcrowdah”
Hope that helps! Once you recognize glottal stops you will never unsee them again (or should I say unhear) and we all do it!
Very nice work! I’ll back up the other comments that the e-learning copy in particular worked perfectly with your voice, pacing, and natural smile. The one that I think could use a quicker pacing is the Enfamil copy; each individual line was spot on but in some areas there was almost a 1.5 second gap in between lines, and in a quick 15 second spot those would need to be shortened a bit.
Really nicely done. I like that I can picture you smiling while your doing your recordings. makes me feel good about your voice and that you feel confident in yourself.
The elearning was a particularly nice fit for you, and your pace was just perfect.
I got manifesto from the Enfamil piece, which I always struggle with.
The second one, the only thing I’d say is, was it supposed to be a :30? It seemed like making the list flow more in the middle could have brought it in on time, but perhaps that could also be accomplished in editing.