Hi all! Here are 3 recordings for any and all feedback. Recordings 2 and 3 are the same, but with different background music. Let me know what you think! Thank you,
Mary
Beer Story
Next time you order a pint, you’ll find you taste something that isn’t in the recipe.
It doesn’t come from the hops. Or the two-row malted barley.
We like to call it character.
It’s hard to define but easy to recognize.
You find it in great women. And great beers.
Duluth – Re-Re-Re-workers (recordings 2 and 3)
It’s there in the re-working. Satisfaction in the never satisfied. They thrive in the spaces unfinished. They live in the “make it better”. These are the “re – re- re-workers”. This is how they forge their way. Duluthtrading.com.
Finally… an ad for Excedrin. More tonal variation here. Constructive criticism appreciated. Thank you for listening. I know I posted a lot today. 🙏🏼 🙂
Excedrin
Headaches. We all get them. We all wish they would go away. There is a solution. Excedrin. I just take two and there’s no more tension, no more throbbing, no more pain. My headache is completely gone.
Good job, my only feedback is the pacing is to slow from beginning to end. In the beginning you can start a little slow because you are in pain and nobody feels good when they are in pain. Then start slowing picking up the pace starting with “There is a solution”. You’ve taken Excedrin you should be feeling good, no more pain. Happy/Relief. Overall great work!
Hi again! Here’s something else – an audiobook excerpt I recorded. It’s non-fiction – a memoir of the great 20th century philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, by his friend and colleague, Norman Malcolm. It’s a bit long, so listen only as far as you’re interested. All feedback appreciated, as always. Thanks folks!
I thought you read was excellent. I love the tone in your voice. You are really good for audiobooks, your pace and pauses were good, your telling of the memoir bought me in to want to hear more. Great job!
Hi folks. Here’s a promo spot I’ve recorded. Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Ancient Mysteries
Be it endless fascination with the Bible, or chilling tales of Gothic horror, man has been compelled by the wonders of the unknown since the beginning of time. From the possible existence of Big Foot to the grips of a mummy’s curse. Uncover the truth behind “Ancient Mysteries” tonight on Channel 4 … NBC.
Hey everyone, I am working on a couple of scripts I am considering for a commercial demo. The Colorado read is two takes. The second script is for Zquill. I welcome any feedback.
Ed
Hello Ed, Great reads! Your voice has a very rich, inviting timbre and I feel your choice of scripts complement it well.
COLORADO – Like the aspirational, dreamlike approach to your reads. If I had any minor nitpicks, your “wanted” in “You didn’t know you wanted” in your first read seems to drop out to a whisper (:03). You also might snip out your breath intake at (:11) on both. The reads sound similar to me though I do feel more energy in the second take.
ZQUILL – Another great read, very well-suited to the product. Might add more of a pause between “…like a baby” and “like a bear” (right now it sounds like you’re almost saying “Like a baby bear” instead of letting both visual images you’re conjuring hang in their own space).
Hello, everyone! Another pair of raw, at-home reads. Trying to work on my energy and self-directing to vary my performance as I find I often fall into the groove of one approach to a script and want to be more flexible.
As always, all comments are welcomed. Thanks for taking the time to listen!
KENNEDY SPACE CENTER
Look at us, heads down, our noses pressed against tiny little screens constantly searching for the next big thing. The next big thing isn’t happening in the palm of your hand, it’s happening above you –far above you. Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it. The Kennedy Space Center. Look up!
Hi Rogue1, Really good! I like both of these reads, but prefer the second read by just a bit due to the variation in tones and the slightly increased energy levels. Both sounded really conversational and approachable and had nice bits in them. I did not hear a pause at all for “things on earth… soar..” at the triple periods, I think you could really lean into that pause for dramatic effect and really punch up “soar high above it!!!!” Overall really nice work!
Thanks, Mary! As always, I appreciate your insightful input! And yes, I *totally* rolled over that pause in the script and agree that it would increase the dramatic effect to hang on that before the big finish. Thanks for taking the time to listen!
I like your tone. It’s playful, easy-going, a bit quirky at times. Someone you could have a few good laughs with.
The two reads had some nice variations in it. “tiny little screens” made me smile. Still, they were variations of the same theme, a sort of mocking tone. I’d encourage you to play with other attitudes. For instance, this feels directed towards youth. Try an encouraging tone. I think a good avatar for your voice is Owen Wilson. How would he say this to a couple of kids starring at their phone. Jake Johnson is another good avatar.
What other variations can you come up with? Basically, come up with different answers for: Who are you talking to? How are you going to convince them to come the the KSC?
One interpretation note. I’d honor the copywriter’s ellipses in “Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it” and add a pause. It’s a play on contradictions: “on earth” and “high above it”.
Thanks for sharing your work. If you come up with more variations, I’d love to hear them.
Hi Tom! Thank you for your thoughtful insights and input.
Owen Wilson and Jake Johnson are great suggestions for avatars (especially as I’m a fan of both performers). Very good point on honing into precisely who I’m talking to–definitely would change my approach for a younger audience verses a jaded, more adult audience (or even a jaded younger audience!)
Agree with you and Mary that I steamrolled that ellipse and will definitely pay attention to that for future takes…stay tuned!
Hello again! Here are two different reads to be evaluated separately. I’m continuing to work on technique and sounding natural. Thanks for any and all feedback! -Mitch
One: Come away with us on a journey to more fascinating destinations than you could ever encounter any other way. Sail the legendary waterways into the heart of the world’s greatest cities with Viking River Cruises. Elegant. Stylish. Exceptionally Comfortable. Spend less time getting there and more time being there.
Two: Put this card in the hands of a child and there’ll be no room for a gun. A needle. Or a knife. It’s only a piece of paper, but that little membership card has helped keep millions of kids off drugs, out of gangs and in school. To learn how you can help the Boys & Girls Clubs, call 1-800-854-Club. Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Great Futures start here.
Hi Mitch, good delivery! I’ve been on a Viking cruise and they really are fantastic! Both reads were good, very clear, welcoming and with good pacing.
On the second read, I liked how you emphasized “in school”. There are a lot of periods and commas in this short read, which makes it tough to not sound choppy. I think you could speed up the overall pace just a tiny bit more and still get the emphasis you want Good job!!
Hi Mitch! Great pair of reads—-very crisp and clear and definitely sounding quite natural to my ear. I’m always a fan of making things sound as conversational as possible (and strive to do so, myself) and I feel you’re making massive strides in perfecting that. Technically, I am hearing a touch of a hollow echo to your record. Maybe a little insulation around your recording space might help alleviate that?
Hi all! Here’s my first attempt at trying an app voice over. Any comments about technique are welcome!
Script:
Welcome to the 2021 TLX app, designed exclusively for TLX owners. This app lets you custom build and order your own TLX, by letting you select either the 2.0-liter turbo-four or the turbocharged 3.0-liter V6, as well as wheels, colors, and options. Hit “build my TLX” when you’re ready to begin.
Hi Kevin – very good! Very clear delivery! I also heard “either the” blur together a bit, but all else sounded nice and crisp. It’s somewhat of a tongue twister there, so I would suggest emphasizing “either” and then not emphasizing “the”, which may help some. I hear a bit of echo in the recording, but that can be fixed with more insulation as per Rougue1. Good job!
Hi Kevin. Great work! Very clear and crisp navigation of a rather complex script! If I had any constructive nit-picks, I might revisit “either the” in the second paragraph (at :16) as the two words seem to run together. As you have the read down cold, maybe try a version where you continue to amp up your energy. Technically, there’s a hollow-sounding quality to your recording (like you’re down in a vault), might try some sort of insulation to better focus the sound.
Hello all! Here are 2 scripts for any and all feedback. One is for Sam Adams, and one is a poem by Donna Ashworth. Having fun choosing background music. Let me know how they sound – thank you!
Mary
Sam Adams Beer
No matter how hard you try, you can not twist off the bottle cap of a Sam Adams. All that Sam Adams flavor is locked beneath a twenty one crimp bottle cap. So you’ll need a bottle cap opener to get at it…at the very least. Sam Adams, a better glass of beer.
Poem by Donna Ashworth
“Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humor though, will only get better.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritize the uniqueness that makes you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.”
Hi Mary! Wow! I can tell you’ve really been putting in the time to perfect your reads—-lovely stuff!
SAM ADAMS – Love the “laugh” delivery at :07, really cements your natural, folksy demeanor. Definitely hear the “smile” in your voice at the end as well. One thought: you might look at your pronunciation of “fl” in “flavor” (:10)-—it sounds a touch muddy to my ear.
POEM – Lovely music choice, again it complements the inviting quality of your voice. Another clear, inviting performance. (I agree with others that at :17 it sounds as if you’re saying “find tuned” rather than “fine tuned”.)
Thanks for the feedback Rogue1! I was having fun with this one, and I’m glad it sounded authentic and that I was smiling, which I definitely was. I tried a few music choices, but the laid back guitar track worked the best (I also had a harmonica and ska version, which were not right). I will check out the “flavor” and see if that can be sharpened a bit.
On the poem, yes “fine-tuned” did sound like “find tuned” – totally not right but something I think I would not miss the next time I worked on recording, that part needs to flow better. Thanks again!
Hi Mary! I think the Sam Adams read is your finest work yet! It’s the most natural-sounding, smoothly delivered, just-talking-to-me performance I’ve heard from your submissions. The only thing I would change is actually the chuckle–it didn’t seem necessary, as the words themselves will pull a chuckle out of the listener. Such a great read!!
Hi Mitch, thanks for your feedback! I’m glad you liked Sam Adams – I’m a true fan of all their beers. 🙂 I did record that one a few weeks ago and decided this time to just not take it so seriously. The chuckle was just part of having fun with it, and is something I could see myself speculating about it with a friend, Thanks for your comments! I’m working to sound more natural, so I’m happy to hear that. Thanks again!
Hi Mary!
Sam Adams read was nice. I liked the guitar in the background and the chuckle about the bottle cap. The audio might sound a little muffled, though that may be my hearing. I think this script was used for one of the monthly script-reading contests here at Edge. For some reason I had trouble making a smooth read of this one.
On the poem I think the mix of your voice and music was really good. Be careful with some of your words, you are using a lot of “yer” for “your” and you said “fined-tuned” instead of “fine-tuned”. Watch out for glottals. Still, great voice that a listener can relate to.
Hi Don, thanks for the feedback! On the Sam Adams read, I read it previously a month or so ago and struggled a bit. It was a little easier this time for some reason, I just decided to totally relax and have fun with it, and it sounded better as a result.
Yes, the “fine-tuned” was not right, in a previous version I left out the “to” after fine-tuned and over compensated on fine-tuned as a result. I will work on that as well as the “yer”s, of which there are many in this script – my accent is coming through for sure on that! Thank you,