Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi! I really liked this read I feel like you’re almost right on the money. The first line was a little mumbled however “it wasn’t a good time at work to go away”. I had to replay that part and listen closely. So if you could just make sure your pronunciation is clear here (especially as this is the first line) – you’re golden! Nice work.
Katelyn
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Hi EP,
Felt as if you were speaking just to me. Like we are sitting at a table having a cup of coffee. You are remembering how you now see the value of taking time off. Don’t feel like you are selling. It’s a meaningful memory. Something which stood out to me was the very slight pause between “travelers” and “find”. Would have felt more natural to flow into one another. Just the thing I need to work on too.
Dawn -
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Hi Adrian, If you didn’t notice your recording is only coming thru on the left channel most likely you need to record in mono on your software because the interface usually records left channel leaving the right channel for an instrument. Other wise your voice is very smooth and realistic so I would try not to rush your reads like in the second read. The last recording was really nice and explanatory and flowed with all the right inflections except the last word “strong” should have an even or downward inflection, good luck!
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Another practice at an ad. Does it sound enough as if I am encouraging my friend to try the paint service?
Thank you!-
Very nice read. Every word was crystal clear. Great job with that. I can certainly hear the enthusiasm in your voice. A couple of things you could try to make it sound even more like you’re talking to your friend. First, try to connect phrases together more. There are a lot of pauses that can be shortened or removed entirely (I’m especially guilty myself of adding the unnecessary dramatic pause. 🙂 ) At one point there’s a pause followed by a very emphasized “AND”. It feels to me those two phrases are connected. It’s back to the “Confidence and free shipping” rationale that starts it all. Try it with no pauses (except at periods but keep those short) and see how that feels to you. Another thing to try is: what did your friend just ask or say to you to make you say “Confidence and free shipping”? What are those words responding to? Connect that with your enthusiasm and I think you’ll nail this. (no Home Depot pun intended)
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Hi Tom,
ThanK you very much for your feedback. I appreciate your attention to the pauses. It is frustrating to me that I continue to do that. I will work on speaking with better flow. Pausing only at the periods. Thanks to for taking me back to the place of what my friend has just said to which I am responding.
Again, thanks so much.
Dawn
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Here’s just a few commercial reads I’m practicing with:
FRESHII
At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!SESAME PLACE
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi™! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place® theme park!JOHNNY WALKER BLUE
The familiar Square bottle. The Label at an angle of precisely 24 degrees. The iconic sketch of a striding Edwardian Dandy. Red, Black, Green, Gold. And now, the grandest of them all. The Blue Label. Johnnie Walker. Keep Walking. -
Welch’s 30 TV or Radio
Our farmers know, the best juice stays true to the fruit.
New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. One hundred per cent juice, with more of the fruit! Like our own concord grapes, ripe mangoes and the plumpest black berries. With nothing artificial for fresh picked taste. New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. Family Farmer Owned.A.G. EDWARDS 30 SEC. RADIO
IN A WORLD OF NEW, HIGHER TAX BRACKETS, YOUR INVESTMENT BROKER CAN
BE A VALUABLE SOURCE FOR INVESTMENT IDEAS THAT CAN HELP YOU REDUCE
TAXES. IT’S ALL PART OF THE COMPLETE SERVICE AG EDWARDS IS COMMITTED
TO OFFERING. NOT ONLY THIS YEAR, BUT EVERY YEAR. THE TIME TO START
NEXT YEAR’S TAX PLANNING IS NOW. AND YOUR AG EDWARDS INVESTMENTBROKER CAN HELP WITH AN UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR PARTICULAR NEEDS. WHY NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT EXPERTISE BY CALLING AG EDWARDS?-
Hi Bil-Bo,
Your unique voice and accent are used well in both pieces. Good pacing in both. The Welch’s is good at a bit slower take. You sound as if you may work at the orchard. The second you pick up the pace, which is appropriate for the content. The friendly, neighbor like quality of your voice lessens the intimidation factor for a financial service. There are people who are nervous about contacting a financial company. You make them sound approachable. Nice, smooth deliveries.
Dawn
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Hello,
Here is a Travel script. I welcome all feedback. Thank you all!
#2 Venice
Venice has more than a thousand years of history behind it, but no one has ever seen it in exactly the same light or colors. Each hour, each minute, it changes its apparel of water and clouds, dazzling light and reflections. Venice…an ever-lasting, and ever-changing vacation.-
Hi Elvie,
You have an ethereal quality to your voice. Light and airy. It is lovely. Some of the words here could benefit from more emphasis. You give some emphasis on no one, ever, and dazzling light. They could take more emphasis. The word “thousand” would sound more of what it means by sounding it out a bit more. The delivery is smooth. If there were video along with the promo the pacing may need to be a bit slower.
You do make visiting Venice sound like a lovely prospect.
Dawn
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Hello Everyone,
Feedback welcome. Thank you for listening.
Autism Awareness
As a parent, you can’t help but look at your child and dream about what the future holds. But while you’re dreaming, consider this – the odds that your child will be diagnosed with autism are 1 in 88. Knowing the signs of autism and catching it early can make a world of difference. To learn the signs visit autismspeaks.org. Brought to you by Autism Speaks and the Ad Council. -
Narration (guided meditation) Feedback on delivery/technique appreciated. Recorded on a practice mic (not pro mic) so tech feedback is less important. Thank you!
Meditation
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times.-
Hi DS,
Your tone and pacing match your content. Nice quality to your voice which promotes confidence in the listener to relax and go along with the prompts. Very clear and welcoming.
Technically there is something going on while you are speaking. You sound a bit echoey (is that a word?) and like a soft shuuuuuu sound going on. It is dead silence in between. Can hear definite difference between the two settings.
Dawnb
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