[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[aylinsings]

Hi All,

These clips were my homework from this week. I am working on Commercials. Thank you in advanced for any feedback!

Best,
Aylin

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[chas82]

Aylin
You have a great voice for this genre! I thought you did a very good job achieving conversational and authentic, especially in the Dryer and the Crest scripts.

Tempo and pitch were also good throughout although the Johnsons script sounded a bit choppy to me. (e.g., .04 – routine, .07 – like a team, .12 – lotions, .17 – you). However, without seeing the script, I couldn’t tell which pauses were due to punctuation – it helps if you include a copy of the script in your submission.

Nice work!

Chas

[aylinsings]

Thank you so much for the feedback, Chas! I will totally take that into consideration when I do this one again!

Aylin

[John Trape]

Hi Aylin,

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reads and appreciating the personal touch that you gave to each one. I felt that you genuinely believed in the value of each of the products that you were promoting. Further, you enunciate so clearly. Having said that, I did feel that the ‘t’ sound was slightly suppressed in “it” (“the best in it” 0.08 secs); “White” (“with Crest 3D White 0.09 secs); and “Crest” (“Crest. Healthy, beautiful,… 0.14 secs) in the third recording, but maybe that is me just being picky and not knowing what I am talking about.

Thank you again for sharing.

Regards,

John

[aylinsings]

John, thank you so much for your feedback! I definitely need to work on those T’s. Now that i’m listening to it again, I think you may be right!

[SuperLuke]

Hi Aylin,
All three reads were well performed. I feel like you can do much better by making the 3 commercials sound more different from each other.

[John Trape]

Hello everyone,

I am putting up these narration recordings, part of my homework assignment, and would very much appreciate your feedback.

Regards,

John

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[aylinsings]

John, these are wonderful! You have a beautiful tone. I appreciate your use of vocal range, it definitely kept me engaged. Great work.

[John Trape]

Hi Aylin,

Thank you very much for your encouraging feedback! It means a lot. My apologies for this delayed acknowledgement.

Regards,

John

[SuperLuke]

John, Very nice energy in your performances of the narratives. I like the Sherlock Holmes feel you give as far as your voice and accent for all 3 recordings

[John Trape]

Hi SuperLuke,

Thank you very much for the supportive feedback.

Yes, I have been trying to concentrate on tone and energy, to name but a few, without running short of breath, but it is all great fun.

Regards,

John

[Akingsley19]

I love your voice! It feels suited to this reading and more! I love the delivery of facts and information and felt entertained. The only thing I can say beyond good things is that it felt like you were not very interested in the source material. Keep up the good work!

[John Trape]

Hi Akingsley,

Thank you very much for your positive and constructive feedback. My coach zeroed in on your observation re interest in the source material, and knew exactly what you meant. He is getting me to really focus on visualizing what is going on in a script, such that I can bring life to the words, thereby better interpreting a passage.

So, thank you again for your feedback,

Regards,

John

[darleneharris]

Hello Everyone!

I’m just getting started and am working on narration. I appreciate any feedback you may have on the following scripts!

Thanks!
Darlene

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[darleneharris]

Sorry, please use these instead! I tried to edit my original post and it didn’t take.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[chas82]

Darlene – as a general guideline for future submissions, it is very helpful to post the script. I’ll limit these comments to “Hawaii” –I think you chose a very challenging script and I admire your guts to take this on. Generally speaking, I think it would have benefitted from adding energy and emotion throughout to make this a more engaging, informative experience. It felt like you were “just” reading a script and I wasn’t especially moved to travel there to share the experiences you were describing. The first two sentences sounded monotonal – varying tempo and pitch along with choosing some key words and/or phrases for emphasis can create more colorful, exciting mental images. The long list in the middle of your script was a bear ! Lists of 3-4 items can be a little tough; the list of seven attributes in the middle of this script is a Herculean task. Each element in a list like this is best articulated with a unique combination of tone, pitch and maybe a tempo tweak to distinguish them one from another.

You mentioned you were just getting started – I think you will be very happy with the results if you incorporate this script into a future lesson with your coach. Chas

[darleneharris]

Thanks for the feedback Chas! This is very helpful!

[katelyndawnvo]

Hi everyone! Here is a kid’s eLearning practice read. so much fun! Any feedback is appreciated 🙂

Katelyn

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[chas82]

Katelyn – Very nice read ! While I agree that the last sentence could have used a little energy tweak, the conversational approach to the end-to-end read was well done and the list of three, on-planet activities was on-point with the varying pitch and tone decisions you made. And….I didn’t hear even one accidental glottal stop 
Keep up the good work – Chas

• This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by chas82.

[aylinsings]

You have such a great voice! I love your tone! The only thing I noticed would be the last line. I think you can make that more exciting for sure. just have fun with it!

[artyom123]

very nice read, very friendly and engaging. my only suggestions would be to do everything the same but take it to a higher level.. more enthusiasm and vocal range and amazement.. and “LETS BLAST OFF” I hope that helps

[TimDKietzman]

Hey everyone. I’ve been mainly uploading commercials so I wanted to see how I did with an Audiobook script. Does my performance keep you hooked? Does my reading wind up dry anywhere? Do I have a good recording environment? Any comments are appreciated.

To Build a Fire
He worked slowly and carefully, keenly aware of his danger. Gradually, as the flame grew stronger, he increased the size of the twigs with which he fed it. He squatted in the snow, pulling the twigs out from their entanglement in the brush and feeding directly to the flame. He knew there must be no failure. When it is seventy- five below zero, a man must not fail in his first attempt to build a fire–that is, if his feet are wet. If his feet are dry, and he fails, he can run along the trail for half a mile and restore his circulation. But the circulation of wet and freezing feet cannot be restored by running when it is seventy-five below. No matter how fast he runs, the wet feet will freeze the harder.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[artyom123]

great work, it kept me engaged and interested. my only suggestion would be that throughout the text you went little fast. I would love to hear little .2 second pauses after some words.

[ep1800]

Katelyn, I like your tone, energy and the enthusiasm you bring to this read. There is not much I would do differently. Youre articulation is also really good. Great Job!

[TimDKietzman]

This is the first time I’ve done a commercial for an Airline company. I wanted to work on performing a list and this script seemed like a great one to practice with. How’s my performance? In particular, my diversification of the list? Is my recording setup still working? Any suggestions are appreciated.

Legend Airlines

We’re not a four-star restaurant, but we do serve peppercorn-crusted beef tenderloin in a rich port sauce. We’re not a furniture store, but we do offer an impressive collection of leather recliners. We’re not a luxury hotel, but we do provide valet parking. We’re not an Internet Service Provider, but we do guarantee immediate Internet access. We’re not a movie theater complex, but we do have 56 screens with surround sound. …We’re not what you think….We’re Legend Airlines

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[aylinsings]

Great take! I think you do a good job changing up the list. I do think that it lacks just bit on energy. It is a lot of repetition so just make sure your energy is there to keep us interested until the end.

[artyom123]

very nice read, great articulation and emotion. each phrase had its own character. what if you add a story telling element to this read and see where that takes you.

[Elvie]

Hello,

I did a 2nd take on the Venice script. I naturally speak fast so I am trying to work on my pacing and enunciation. Please I welcome any feedback. Thank you for listening.

Venice has more than a thousand years of history behind it, but no one has ever seen it in exactly the same light or colors. Each hour, each minute, it changes its apparel of water and clouds, dazzling light and reflections. Venice…an ever-lasting, and ever-changing vacation.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by Elvie.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[D M Ulmer]

Hi Elvie,
Nice. I thought the pacing was improved from the first read. There is emphasis now on the things which make Venice unique. Your words are clear. Liked “each hour, each minute.” Keep it up!
Dawn

[ep1800]

Elvie, your voice and tone are a perfect match for this piece of copy. I think you can take more time with your pacing, you don’t need to rush it. Imagine you are seeing all these images in your mind. Really good job!
Ed

[ep1800]

Hi Rogue1, thank you for yourcomments, I really appreciate all of them.They are spot on!

[ep1800]

Hi everyone. I am working on another commercial read and would welcome your comments.
Thank you!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[katelyndawnvo]

Hi! I really liked this read I feel like you’re almost right on the money. The first line was a little mumbled however “it wasn’t a good time at work to go away”. I had to replay that part and listen closely. So if you could just make sure your pronunciation is clear here (especially as this is the first line) – you’re golden! Nice work.

Katelyn

[ep1800]

Katelyn, thanks for your comments. yes, the beginning is a little garbled. I will work on it.

[D M Ulmer]

Hi EP,
Felt as if you were speaking just to me. Like we are sitting at a table having a cup of coffee. You are remembering how you now see the value of taking time off. Don’t feel like you are selling. It’s a meaningful memory. Something which stood out to me was the very slight pause between “travelers” and “find”. Would have felt more natural to flow into one another. Just the thing I need to work on too.
Dawn

[ep1800]

Dawn, thank you for your comments. wow! it really helps to get the feedback from others. It seems very challengidng at times to hear for myself what I am “voicing” really sounds like. Yes, I am still working on pausing at the wrong moment.

[Author]

Replies