Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Replies
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Hello Everyone,
I kind of kept pushing off doing this, but I’m happy to finally put stuff out here on this forum. I did a made-up banking commercial for this one.-
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Hi Akingsley,
I really enjoyed your read. As I listened to your recording, I found myself following the narrator into the bank while everyday banking was going on all around. Picking up on Mary’s feedback above, actually imagining myself inside a branch of that bank would make it much easier for me to really bring out the natural, conversational tone that I might want.
Thank you for sharing your reading.
Regards,
John
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Hi Akingsley! Nice work. This sounded a little disconnected / choppy to me, and with some longer pauses between phrases and after commas than needed. You might try it again and still emphasize key words like you were doing, just try to make it flow a little smoother, like how you tell a friend about it, more relaxed. I hope that makes sense. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hi. I like this material! I think you need to focus more on building the story aspect of it. You had the beginning, but started losing me in the middle. It was just a bit low energy and a little rehearsed. Try to make that part sound a bit more conversational and bright. At the end of the day, you want us to bank there. Great first take though!
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I agree. I listened to this twice. You started out on an okay note, then it sounded more like you were trying to read us the copy rather than perform it as a commercial. I think if you perform the commercial with more energy, speed, and enthusiasm, this could become a better performance that will grip and hold your listener’s attention.
hope this was helpful
-SL
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Hi All,
These clips were my homework from this week. I am working on Commercials. Thank you in advanced for any feedback!
Best,
Aylin-
Aylin
You have a great voice for this genre! I thought you did a very good job achieving conversational and authentic, especially in the Dryer and the Crest scripts.Tempo and pitch were also good throughout although the Johnsons script sounded a bit choppy to me. (e.g., .04 – routine, .07 – like a team, .12 – lotions, .17 – you). However, without seeing the script, I couldn’t tell which pauses were due to punctuation – it helps if you include a copy of the script in your submission.
Nice work!
Chas
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Hi Aylin,
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reads and appreciating the personal touch that you gave to each one. I felt that you genuinely believed in the value of each of the products that you were promoting. Further, you enunciate so clearly. Having said that, I did feel that the ‘t’ sound was slightly suppressed in “it” (“the best in it” 0.08 secs); “White” (“with Crest 3D White 0.09 secs); and “Crest” (“Crest. Healthy, beautiful,… 0.14 secs) in the third recording, but maybe that is me just being picky and not knowing what I am talking about.
Thank you again for sharing.
Regards,
John
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Hello everyone,
I am putting up these narration recordings, part of my homework assignment, and would very much appreciate your feedback.
Regards,
John
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John, these are wonderful! You have a beautiful tone. I appreciate your use of vocal range, it definitely kept me engaged. Great work.
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John, Very nice energy in your performances of the narratives. I like the Sherlock Holmes feel you give as far as your voice and accent for all 3 recordings
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I love your voice! It feels suited to this reading and more! I love the delivery of facts and information and felt entertained. The only thing I can say beyond good things is that it felt like you were not very interested in the source material. Keep up the good work!
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Hi Akingsley,
Thank you very much for your positive and constructive feedback. My coach zeroed in on your observation re interest in the source material, and knew exactly what you meant. He is getting me to really focus on visualizing what is going on in a script, such that I can bring life to the words, thereby better interpreting a passage.
So, thank you again for your feedback,
Regards,
John
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Hello Everyone!
I’m just getting started and am working on narration. I appreciate any feedback you may have on the following scripts!
Thanks!
Darlene-
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Darlene – as a general guideline for future submissions, it is very helpful to post the script. I’ll limit these comments to “Hawaii” –I think you chose a very challenging script and I admire your guts to take this on. Generally speaking, I think it would have benefitted from adding energy and emotion throughout to make this a more engaging, informative experience. It felt like you were “just” reading a script and I wasn’t especially moved to travel there to share the experiences you were describing. The first two sentences sounded monotonal – varying tempo and pitch along with choosing some key words and/or phrases for emphasis can create more colorful, exciting mental images. The long list in the middle of your script was a bear ! Lists of 3-4 items can be a little tough; the list of seven attributes in the middle of this script is a Herculean task. Each element in a list like this is best articulated with a unique combination of tone, pitch and maybe a tempo tweak to distinguish them one from another.
You mentioned you were just getting started – I think you will be very happy with the results if you incorporate this script into a future lesson with your coach. Chas
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Hi everyone! Here is a kid’s eLearning practice read. so much fun! Any feedback is appreciated 🙂
Katelyn
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Katelyn – Very nice read ! While I agree that the last sentence could have used a little energy tweak, the conversational approach to the end-to-end read was well done and the list of three, on-planet activities was on-point with the varying pitch and tone decisions you made. And….I didn’t hear even one accidental glottal stop
Keep up the good work – Chas -
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Hey everyone. I’ve been mainly uploading commercials so I wanted to see how I did with an Audiobook script. Does my performance keep you hooked? Does my reading wind up dry anywhere? Do I have a good recording environment? Any comments are appreciated.
To Build a Fire
He worked slowly and carefully, keenly aware of his danger. Gradually, as the flame grew stronger, he increased the size of the twigs with which he fed it. He squatted in the snow, pulling the twigs out from their entanglement in the brush and feeding directly to the flame. He knew there must be no failure. When it is seventy- five below zero, a man must not fail in his first attempt to build a fire–that is, if his feet are wet. If his feet are dry, and he fails, he can run along the trail for half a mile and restore his circulation. But the circulation of wet and freezing feet cannot be restored by running when it is seventy-five below. No matter how fast he runs, the wet feet will freeze the harder. -
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This is the first time I’ve done a commercial for an Airline company. I wanted to work on performing a list and this script seemed like a great one to practice with. How’s my performance? In particular, my diversification of the list? Is my recording setup still working? Any suggestions are appreciated.
Legend Airlines
We’re not a four-star restaurant, but we do serve peppercorn-crusted beef tenderloin in a rich port sauce. We’re not a furniture store, but we do offer an impressive collection of leather recliners. We’re not a luxury hotel, but we do provide valet parking. We’re not an Internet Service Provider, but we do guarantee immediate Internet access. We’re not a movie theater complex, but we do have 56 screens with surround sound. …We’re not what you think….We’re Legend Airlines
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Hello,
I did a 2nd take on the Venice script. I naturally speak fast so I am trying to work on my pacing and enunciation. Please I welcome any feedback. Thank you for listening.
Venice has more than a thousand years of history behind it, but no one has ever seen it in exactly the same light or colors. Each hour, each minute, it changes its apparel of water and clouds, dazzling light and reflections. Venice…an ever-lasting, and ever-changing vacation.
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