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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello everyone, it’s been a while! I’ve come back with three more varying commercial scripts that I practiced on. Criticism is highly encouraged!
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Hi, Dante. Awesome voice. A deep bass-baritone that commands attention.
1) Nice overall tone inviting the listener in. Some things to consider. “Trendy.com” has a different cadence than you normally hear with a URL. It starts high on “tren” and goes down the scale the “dot com”. It sounded as if your lead in line was “Not unfashionable.com but trendy.com”. If that is intentional, the cool! Also consider if the words you emphasized are the important words in the script: It’s the number one shopping site for top name brands…; Everything you love, for less. My thought: “one”, “top name”, and “love” respectively.
2) Once the copy was clearly about trucks, I was with you, and you brought it home. But I was confused where this was going at the start. Perhaps a lead in line like “What scares our competitors the most? Is it 50 foot…”. “No” lost some intensity and approached “naw”. “Nighty night” could be more threatening. I think your tone is great throughout, what one would expect for a spot on trucks. But you may have tried to push it deeper in pitch than your natural vocal range. I’d like to hear how it comes across in the lower end of your natural range but with the same ballsy tone.
3). This was well-done. Love the optimism and the contrast from #2. A couple of technique notes: In “change the world around us”, “change”, “world”, and “around” had the same emphasis so its point was not clear. And make sure you don’t drop the “t” in Carnation Breakfast Essentials. (I worked on this script and was given the same note. 🙂 )
Great work, Dante. Thanks for sharing with us.
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The second copy (Ram) was your most solid! The quirky copy was well suited by your delivery and pacing, and the unique quality of your voice brought out the humor in it. The third one (Carnation) felt slightly robotic at the start though, especially in comparison with the other two. If you smooth out the delivery and make it a tad more conversational, you will have that one nailed as well!
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This is my 1st attempt at putting a demo together. Any and all thoughts welcome on audio quality, format, delivery/performance etc…
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Hi Mcsketcher, very nice! I like the nice variation in your voice for all of the various scripts, nice versatility! I’m starting to experiment with background music and really enjoying it. I find I have to always turn it down to -14 or -16 db at least so it stays in the background. On your last spot starting at about :45 seconds, I could hear either the background music OR your voice, but not both at the same time. The others sounded good from what I could hear, so maybe just adjusting down a little for some of them? Good work! Sounds really good.
Mary
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Hi Mcsketcher,
The Demo sounds great. Now it may be me, but the music was just a bit to strong compared to the vocals. Maybe lowering the volume of the music a touch or two would do the trick. I listened to it on both my headset and speakers and there were some moments I could not make out your voice over some of the music specifically in the second recording in the demo. Overall though you have some great delivery that I really enjoyed and the audio sounded great.
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I’m discovering its a fine line with background music. All audio files are not created equal and anything below -80hz will send you to klip-town with the quickness. I cut out anything below -80 and am using dueling compressors on the music and vocal tracks to control the volume. Still tweaking it though. I think I need to make the release quicker on the compressors. I just didn’t want it to sound too abrupt but I think that might be necessary for clarities sake. Theres a way to do it manually on a specific time segment if you just need to dampen a trouble spot but I have yet to venture down that road.
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Thanks! I got them off storyblocks. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that or not, but I’m doing it. I paid $30 for a month and downloaded A LOT of music. Its rights free for life. I figured that would be significantly easier than searching the web for free music. I started to do that and the task seemed a bit daunting. The websites great though. They classify the music so its easy to find something appropriate. No, I don’t work for them but I am def a fan.
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Hi Everyone!
Here’s a recording of an e-learning narration script as I continue to work towards my narration demo. Any and all feedback is much appreciated!
Reading music is often seen as a mysterious and arcane art – but it doesn’t have to be that way! The easy-to-follow lessons and innovative accompanying CD in How to Read Music will show you how to decode those little black dots and, in a short time, you’ll be surprised how fluent you’ve become!
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Hi Darlene! Good work on this one. Your voice is nice and warm and welcoming for this type of read. You have good variation in tone and energy – very nice!
Mary
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As part of my narration demo, I would like to include something from the true crime genre. These are my first two attempts. My wife says I don’t sound evil enough… I’d love to hear which one you all think is best and any specific pointers!
1. M****R FOR HIRE. It began, cops would tell Nancy, when they stopped a man named Aaron Wilkinson for a simple traffic violation. After spotting a gun in his car, deputies took Wilkinson to the station and were shocked when he told them he’d been hired to k**l a woman he didn’t even know. So who then who was the intended target? That’s right: Nancy Latham.
2. DISAPPEARANCE OF TANNER WARD. Tenton, Missouri, is too small of a town to get lost in. But one evening last June, 19-year-old Tanner Ward, engaged to be married, father to a precious baby girl, vanished into thin air. Tanner’s family desperately searches for him, and police follow up on every lead, but they’re all dead ends.
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Hi Jasjo171, good work! I love the true crime genre too. I really enjoyed the performance – you have a warm, friendly voice and it was really well done, but I too am not hearing a more serious tone for the reads. Maybe try it with the thought in mind that Nancy Latham is your sister and you are reporting on how she narrowly escaped getting killed. Imagine how relieved you would feel after hearing this news. Maybe think about trying it with a level of personal concern and seriousness. Lead-ins are really helping me get into the feel of the scripts – for this one, it could be something like “Did you hear what happened to my sister Nancy?”
For the second read I would say the same thing, but it sounded a little more connected to me than the first read. Overall very good!
Mary
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Trying some different copy and continuing to practice! Any comments are appreciated, especially related to performance. Thanks!
Functional Fitness
Welcome to our functional training series. Breaking it down, functional training is simply turning your attention to training the body for movements we perform as we go about our daily lives. Movements like standing , sitting, stepping, reaching, pushing, pulling, getting balanced. Our training series has broken down those movements into a series of workouts to help you draw attention to how you perform those activities on a daily basis. This is designed to bring your awareness to your posture and your form, to the muscle groups that allow you to work in those capacities and hopefully keep you safe and keep you strong.
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Hi CYeschenko, good work! I remember recording this one a while back and I was having trouble finding places to breathe, the script has some pretty long phrases – you did very well on that! Good variation in the lists (“…standing , sitting, stepping, reaching, pushing, pulling, getting balanced”), and really clear diction, which is perfect for this genre. Very good!
Mary
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Hello, everyone! Another pass at alternate reads on this script–my thanks to Mary (mkell755) and tomnunes for their fantastic input!
Also found that my mic was picking up some low level ambient noise (because New York), so I’ve made the move into a home studio (i.e. the hall closet with a pillow stuffed behind my mic). Please let me know if there’s an improvement in sound quality. (I feel Take 1 “in the wild” sounds better than the takes in the studio/closet. I’m guessing I need further sound dampening in my “booth” to alleviate the hollow quality).
As always, all comments are welcome on both performance and recording quality. My thanks for taking the time to listen!
KENNEDY SPACE CENTER
Look at us, heads down, our noses pressed against tiny little screens constantly searching for the next big thing. The next big thing isn’t happening in the palm of your hand,
it’s happening above you –far above you. Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it. The Kennedy Space Center. Look up!-
Mr. Rogue! Nice work! In these reads there is a lot more encouragement in getting your listener to come to the KSC. Of these four, I liked the first best, up until “Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it.” As before, you didn’t honor the ellipses. But you did in the others. And for that line, I liked 3 the best. I think it best captured the irony that the the most amazing things on earth are not on earth.
For sound quality in that last 3, I think you’re right in your assessment. It sounds like you’re in a tin can. There may be a lot of sound reflecting surfaces in the space. You’ll need more than a pillow behind your mic. Fill your closet with clothes, or blankets or other sound absorbent materials. And if the closet remains open to your hallway, consider ways to damped reflective surfaces in the hallway – rugs on the floor, foam on the walls. If you can close the door, give that a try.
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Thanks, Tom! Really appreciate your comments–and yes, I still bulldozed those ellipses on the first read (Guess I’m unconsciously trying to edit). Thanks, too, for your thoughts on my make-shift booth set-up. It was my first stab at creating the space (read: I simply pulled stuff out of the closet and climbed in 😅). I’ve got padding to hang on the walls and door, plus a rug for the floor which should help with the ricochet sound. Very reassuring insights–I was sweating it a bit about the space!
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Hi Rogue1, really solid work! I liked #1 best for sound quality and the read overall. Each read had some nice variations too, but #1 had a great range of inflection in addition to delivering the script in a conversational way without stretching it out unnaturally.
The sound quality for reads 2, 3 and 4 do sound hollow, not sure how you alleviate that. I’m using a portable isolation booth now which has made a big difference for me (would have been difficult to soundproof my home studio otherwise). I’ve been working with the sound engineers at Sweetwater and they are sooooo helpful in offering solutions to tweak my home studio, help with my mic, etc. Excellent work on these as per usual, and you are welcome for offering feedback!
Mary
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As always, thank you, Mary! Read #1 is in my living room and the remaining 3 reads are in my hall closet (I’m amazed that the open space sounds better than the closed one–though there my mic is still picking up a low, ambient hum). Thanks, too, for the great tips on Sweetwater and the portable isolation booths. I’m looking into both–*very* helpful suggestions! Plus the portable booth could pull double duty for Zoom calls!
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Hey you are welcome Rogue! Sweetwater have really helped me out, their customer service is great. It is weird that your living room sound is better than a hall closet, but they were telling me that sometimes if it is a tiny closet with lots of clothes and things, but not much room to soundproof, it can deaden the sound too much. Sounds counterintuitive but I tried in one of my closets too and it sounded too flat. Also through Sweetwater you can send in the floor plan of your room if you draw it in Homestyler (free software, pretty quick to learn, just measure up your room first) and they will draw up a plan of what you need with all the specific sound panels, type, placement,etc. I started with that for my home studio / day office room, then did my closet, then ended up with a small PIB, the Isovox 2. So far so good! It would be good for Zoom calls actually, however, there is no camera in the one I am using, so if a camera is important for your Zoom, might be tricky unless you are using a phone for your video, then yes that would work. Good luck and let me know what you find out!
Mary
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Thank you, Mary! Really appreciate all the great info! Your set-up with the Isovox sounds wonderful (as does the quality of your reads), I will definitely look into those. (When I was mentioning Zoom usage, I was eying the portable isolation booths on GIK Acoustics–they look like room dividers versus a more compact “bubble booth” like the Isovox). Will start with padding the closet and then explore/expand from there. Hopefully the audio improvement will be evident in my future posts! Again, many thanks for taking the time to respond!
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Both the sound quality and pacing of the first clip fit the material best in my eyes! It flowed together very well, and the pacing was conversational but not slow enough to detract from the medium of a commercial. Some of the other ones had a solid emphasis on words as you went along but they were almost too emphasized for a commercial. Nice work!
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Hi Rogue. To my ears, I would agree with you about take #1 sounding better from an audio quality perspective. Of the 4 reads, your delivery/style in read # 3 was the one I liked best. It felt truer to the content, pacing and intention of a piece like that. My only suggestion on that one would be that the pause between “happening” and “above you”, felt a bit extra, especially with there being another pause called for right after “above you”. Great job! Toque
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Hi everyone! Feeling in a guitar mood for some reason tonight. Here are a couple of recordings for any and all feedback. Thank you in advance!
Mary
Guild Guitars
When you’ve played a guitar for years, every scratch, ding, and worn-down fret means something. The places you’ve been, the songs you’ve sung, the people you’ve shared your music with. That’s what a Guild is all about. Made to be played. Guild Guitars.Sheryl Crow
Long before she was a roots rock sensation, Sheryl Crow honed her skills by singing backup for Don Henley and Michael Jackson and jamming with other L.A.-based musicians in the Tuesday Night Music Club. But by the time her catchy single “All I Wanna Do” stormed the radio and earned her three Grammys in ’94, it was clear she’d make it as a solo singer/songwriter.-
Your voice is really nice to listen to. Nothing to add, but I agree with Toque’s comments. Maybe just add a bit of emotion. I have listened to some of your other uploads. I think you have a ton of natural talent.
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Great conversational reads again Mary. On the guitar piece, I would try to add some more emotion to it…like the guitar, and the memories of places and songs it has brought you to, are something that you absolutely love and cherish.
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Hi Mary! As always, a very inviting quality to your voice and performance—the music accompaniment you chose compliments those qualities very well. A few comments:
GUILD GUITARS: I would suggest perhaps slowing down a touch on the pace of your read. There’s a real “take your time” romance being described here with the rich history of the fret, rushing this tale seems counterintuitive to the mood. Let your read caress the script a bit more.
SHERYL CROW: Super nit-pick: Love that you improv-ed a lead-in (great way to ramp up quickly, I do it all the time) though you might want to snip it if you’re aiming to be adhere to the script.
As always, great work and a pair of rich reads. Well done!
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Hi Rogue1, thanks for the feedback! Yes that makes sense to slow down Guild Guitars a bit – the script is describing something that happens over time that takes years to perfect, maybe like an aged whiskey type vibe, good tip. On the lead-ins I have been leaving them in but now that I know how to cut them out I will start doing that. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi Chris, Both excellent reads. Very crisp, clear, and natural-sounding to the ear. There’s an authoritative resonance to both that is trustworthy without being overbearing (and the fact that you made the “legalese” of the first script inviting and easily digestible is especially impressive). As a bit of constructive criticism, I agree with Tom that the first line of the “conflict of interest” script is a touch muddy compared to the clarity of the balance of the script. Well done!
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Chris, these are both great. And a very nice contrast between the two. For the “conflict of interest” read, you sounded very helpful without falling in the trap of becoming “bossy” or “a know-it-all”. The beginning words were a bit unclear to me and seemed to run together. You may want to make them clearer. And the Metropolis Superman Museum was really nice. I wanted to her more. Nothing technical to note. The words were clear here. Well done.
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Hi everyone – beautiful blue skies and bright sunny day here – what a recipe for mood improvement!
Here’s scripts from different genres, Commercial and Narration. I recently finished my Narration demo and the Commercial is scheduled in 3 weeks. Trying to find shorter, punchier commercial scripts while not neglecting “what’s in the can”.Thanks in advance for the feedback.
Chas
Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows. A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
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Hi Chas! You have a lovely instrument, very rich and resonant. Your reads are also quite polished and accomplished. As you have the craft down cold, I would agree with aylinsings and Chris Bookings that you might now try to inject a bit more emotion into the scripts. Both subjects seem to beg a “sense of wonder” that you might try dialing up in subsequent takes. Well done! Keep up the great work!
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Great job Chas! You have such a wonderful voice.
I have nothing to say about the Planet Earth one. I thought it was engaging and it sounded like you really enjoyed what you were talking about.
Sandals, on the other hand, didn’t sound like you enjoyed it as much. Make sure to really envision that nice beautiful beach. It is an adults only resort so don’t be afraid to sound a little more ‘flirty’ lol. That is what is missing. Otherwise, it is a great take!
Aylin
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Hi, Chas! You’ve got a great voice! Your levels sound good as far as I can tell but I hear some room reflection. Also a bump around the 6 sec point. You sound like you understand the material but it sounds like you’re reading it. You seem to fall into a rhythm. Forget the punctuation. Focus on how you want the listener to respond. Really picture that beautiful imagery and let it move you! You can get it!
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