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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone! Just doing some practice on commercial work. Any feedback is appreciate – thanks!
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do. LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.
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Very nice work! I’ll echo the other comment that you could lean more into the build up to “I think he’s a creative genius” before flipping and revealing the humor written into the script that it’s really Legos that are being referenced. A slightly more clear distinction between the parts would help the humor shine and give your already great read the extra bump to broadcast ready in my eyes!
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Christy. Really nice read. A conversational sound with nice moments. I could hear the proud mother coming through. What’s a bit lost, as I hear it, is the twist in the copy: going from “an architect, a designer, an engineer” seeming literal (albeit incredulous) to, “Ah, I get it! Legos!” I’m can’t pinpoint what’s off, though. It may be that the ellipses are treated more like periods. As a suggestion, don’t complete the thought at “an engineer”, rather make the list sound as if it could go on and on but you stop yourself. On a technical note, at the end of “great things” much of the ‘s’ was lost. It sounded more like an editing issue than technique. But, overall, well done!
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I redid this taking some advice from peers. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks
Life insurance.
Life Insurance: It isn’t for the people who die, it’s for the people who live.
Are you prepared?
Without insurance, your financial plan may be just a savings and investment program that dies when you do.
What will your family do then?
An insurance agent or other financial professional can help you create a plan that will provide for the people you love after you’re gone.
To learn more, call 1-800-LIFE-777 or visit our website at http://www.LifeLine.org-
Hey Robert,
I like your voice tone ..I think a little rushed as well..
Noticed your volume changed in the last quarter of read. May want to watch your meter for consistency.
Just trying to be helpful here..
not sure if the funeral music works maybe a bit more life in the read and volume on music via ducking -
Hi Robert, I really enjoy listening to your voice. It has a very nice quality to it! The read feels a little rushed to me. What would you think about the briefest of pauses after the questions? Or maybe it’s just a change in tone from the question to the sentence that follows it. I think I would feel as if you were really asking me the question. Nice work overall!
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Charleston, SC
Discover the Charleston area- America’s most beautifully preserved historic and resort destination. Stately plantations, sun-drenched beaches, nationally acclaimed restaurants, and world-class golf offer something for everyone.
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Hi Wes – You have a great voice! I did feel like the beginning of the read sounded a big robotic and that you could lift up the energy a bit. Maybe even try doing it with a bit more of a smile on your face. The transitions between the sentences were a bit choppy as well, but I am thinking that may just be editing. The words are so beautiful so imagine you are really describing those to someone – like the way you said “sun-drenched beaches”. I think this is a really great script for you!
-Amber -
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Hi, Wes. Great voice with a deep and warm resonance. The words were crisp and clear. Nice read. Some things to pay attention to. As this is about Charleston, emphasize the name. You chose to emphasize “area” instead. Watch unneeded pauses: “preserved historic (pause) and resort destination”; “world-class golf (pause) offer something (pause) for everyone.” Try it without the pauses and see how it feels. Let the list in the last line drive to the key point: something for everyone.
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Hello, I recorded twice in a little different tone. I appreciate all feedback. Thanks!
Life Insurance.
Life insurance. It isn’t for the people who die, it’s for the people who live. Are you prepared? Without insurance, your financial plan may be just a savings and investment program that dies when you do. What will your family do then? An insurance agent or other financial professional can help you create a plan that will provide for the people you love after you’re gone. To learn more, call 1-800-LIFE-777 or visit our website at http://www.LifeLine.org-
Hi Roert –
You have a great reassuring tone to your voice. I’m not sure I heard a great deal of difference between each of the reads (I’ve received the same feedback here) so can’t say I have a preference of one over the other. I really like the pace of this so I don’t know how you get it in at 26 seconds!? One element to think about is that when you are talking about death you are really taking your pitch up and it feels more positive than I think the script is trying for. I would recommend taking an approach that you are talking to your best friend and maybe not lecturing him but giving him a stern warning that he may not be setting up his family in the best way. This may give you another variety to compare the reads. Articulation and clarity were great!
-Amber -
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I think the first take was better, though I do think you may be rushing throught the script a little. Also you sound like your pausing in the middle of a sentence and you must never do that. Remember to behave as if you’re talking to someone. Also, when reading the Phone number, you sounded as if you had concluded it after saying LIFE and 777 was more of a postscript. I hope this helps.
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Thanks Tim for the feeback. Using the rate calculator that should have been on average 26 seconds. I was squeezing it in trying to get under 30 secs and failed. 32 seconds was my best time. If I would have read it properly for me it would have been more like 40s. I try to speed things up to work on talking faster. I am generally a slow talker. I appreciate your feedback.
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Jay – I could see the intro “flyover the ocean… birds flapping…approaching a desolate island”. Your voice really set me up for that visual. This is a great one for you. I felt as if you were running out of breath on “…wilderness” so just something to keep an ear out for. I would also recommend connecting “6 billion” more and distressing the “6”. It sounds a little harsh. I enjoy how it sounds like you are whispering in the mic! If you are looking for another way to read – pretend like you are speaking to a children’s classroom. I often find if I read in 2 completely different ways I can find a good balance between the 2. Have fun!
-Amber -
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Hi everyone! Here is a read for any and all feedback. It is the same read for all 3 but with different music in the background. I’m working to get the sound levels right and also on making this one sound like it has a “call to arms” vibe. Let me know what you think! Thanks,
Mary
Think Different – Apple Commercial (1997)
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.-
Hi Mary
I agree with Robert that the music on #1 is too loud. However, I thought #2 and 3 were both at good levels and were both good choices for background given the message.
Chas-
Thanks for the feedback Chas! Glad that the music worked for 2 and 3. I actually saved 5 versions with different backgrounds; there was a lot that seemed to fit that script. Thanks for listening and giving input on that! I was trying to imagine what visuals would be in the background with each of them, so many ideas of what that would look like. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hello Mary, I think the 2nd one music may fit better since is abstract and goes along with dialog. The music was a tad to loud in the background. 3 came in a close second and music was a little too loud. The first ones music was most offbeat to me for the dialog and this volume was way too loud. Good job at contrasting the music. What software are you using to record? I use Audacity because it is priced very well. lol. Hope my opinion helps.
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Thanks for the feedback Robert! Appreciate the noise level info; sometimes it’s hard to know what sounds too loud. For the first one I wanted to pick something really different musically (to me at least) which you don’t hear every day and which sounds like its stirring the p*t musically. Definitely did not want it to be too distracting.
I use Audacity too! The price is right 🙂 I download background music from http://www.looperman.com – sooo much stuff and it is also free! Then I googled how to add music to my recordings, and it’s actually very simple. First, do the recording and get it how you want it, then go to File – import – audio, select the music and it adds as a second track. I then adjust the gain to -14 db for the audio track at least (varies, depending on the track). You can cut and paste the loop as long as you need to match the length of the recording. If that does not make sense, Google can show you much better than my written description. Good luck and I’ll be waiting to hear a background from you! Thanks,
Mary
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Hi everyone, I am working on two more commercial reads and would welcome your feedback. Thank you, Ed
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Hi, Ed. You have a nice, distinctive voice. It is a folksy, friendly sound that makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. I think you could leverage that more with these reads. It’s not yet clear to me what you want me as the listener to do or think. For instance, each item listed after “Baltimore” felt the same and I couldn’t tell how you felt about each of them. I think if you connect more with that, and feed it with that voice of calm and reason, these will be stellar. Note on #2) there is a pause between “when everyone has access” and “to the best financial tools” which is really a single phrase. It felt like a catch breath, so see if you can give yourself a bigger breath beforehand.
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Hey Tom, thank you for your very specific comments on my reads. Yes, “the call to action” is a technique that I am continuing to work on. Yes, the need to be very specific is a central part of my training as I am preparing to record a commercial demo. On #2 – yes I hear that pause. Thanks again for your comments. They are very helpful.
Ed
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Hi – I am focusing on short form commercials, a few sentences max and requiring more energy and personality. I would appreciate your feedback. Still working on my recording space so quality won’t be the best. Thanks
ChasCap/n Crunch
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Great read and emotion. a few things I noticed that are pretty simple fixes. On some words- especially operative main words, your tone went down. you can clearly hear it when you say Hurry in to ZELLERS. Im not referencing uptalk like you hear on tv, but more of just a level pitch. I hope that helps! Good luck mate.
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